Enneagram in Real Life: Find Your Type, Understand Who You Are, and Take Steps Toward Growth

by Stephanie Barron Hall

Certified Enneagram coach Stephanie Barron Hall shows you how to use the Enneagram as a tool for self-discovery and a practical way to achieve growth.

Stephanie Barron Hall is using social media to bring the power of the Enneagram to a new generation of followers, teaching them how to successfully move beyond understanding to practical application—how to actually make changes in their own lives.

In Enneagram in Real Life, Hall explains how to apply the Enneagram to your life. Finding your type is just the beginning of your story. Drawn from her years of study and practice coaching thousands of people, Enneagram In Real Life includes relatable stories from real clients, tangible growth practices and frameworks, and actionable advice you can use to incorporate the Enneagram’s transformative power into your life, career, communication, and relationships.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2025

Reviews

[Lauren]

As someone who is already quite familiar with the Enneagram, this was pretty basic. The descriptions of the types were clear and took a slightly different angle than I'd previously encountered, which was interesting. There was also a focus on self-help that I found initially thought-provoking, but it became too much of a generic template as it was applied to the various types. I wish the book had gone more into wings and the holy virtues. The author said there would be more info in the end notes, but there wasn't. The biggest lack in the book, however, was any information on the history of the Enneagram, why it's trustworthy as a tool, and who the people are who have contributed to its development. It makes it seem like the Enneagram came out of nowhere and is just a natural, obvious way of assessing and understanding personalities. I was primarily reading this book to think about developing personalities for fictional characters, and in that regard it was fairly useful.

[Hkunes]

Enjoyed the read. Lots of information and felt very accurate to my type etc

[Stephanie]

It’s not that I fully buy into the premise of the enneagram but I do find it interesting as one method of self-analysis. I’m the worst personality type IMHO (1). I’m also the type of person who mostly skimmed the book after my type was examined (third in the sequence as it starts with type 8). Works fine as an introduction the concept but not a must-read if you’re already familiar.

[Lindsay Head]

Loved this version of explaining the Enneagram. The language used clicked for me and helps me teach the content better.

[Brittany]

I give it a 3.5. Pretty good overview of the types but I thought it could’ve offered more growth strategies based on the title. The OPEN framework seemed like a strategy anyone who is into self help would try instinctively. It’s not very groundbreaking to observe yourself, pause and try something different in the moment so I didn’t think this needed to be an entire chapter. Sharing my opinion as a type 9!

There were some good prompts for those who are new to the Enneagram system but if you’re somewhat familiar you’ve probably done these thought experiments before. Some of the journaling prompts would be good to put pen to paper and explore so it’s a good resource to come back to in that regard. I think I need a book dedicated to type 9 to get deeper into the subject of the type’s growth for each specific subtype.

[Jaymie]

[I received a free electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

4 stars = Great! Might re-read.

This was great! So much of this felt fresh and different from the 20 other resources I have. I enjoyed the author's writing style. I liked the emphasis on activities and exercises - some listed by type and others that are for anyone. I would still recommend newbies start with The Road Back to You, but this is a great follow up for folks who are ready for what's next and using the Enneagram for personal growth. I'm looking forward to reading this again (I bought my own copy!) and digging into the various recommended activities.

[M. Kircher]

"Enneagram in Real Life" is an approachable look into the Enneagram beyond surface-level stereotypes. From her many years of coaching experience, Hall offers relatable client stories that illuminate and enhance the understanding of each Enneatype's core motivations. I loved her take on the concept of "thresholds" and the inclusion of subtypes to explain the common question of how the same Enneatypes can look so different. Hall's approach to the high and low sides of the Dynamic Movement Arrows is an interesting take and something fresh to think about.

[Cate Blouke]

I’ve been studying the Enneagram for over a decade (and read at least 10 books on it at this point), and I think this is my new favorite book about it. It takes a compassionate approach to explaining the numbers, and I appreciate how the descriptions are well-rounded, not just focusing on the negative aspects of each type. It also offers really practical application suggestions for each type, including focused suggestions for each subtype (something that many books lack). I’ll be recommending this to clients and friends who want an overview without getting too mired in the details.

[Stacie Saurer]

Interesting take, but perhaps not the best book to start with for those new to enneagrams. I tried to approach this with an open mind, but I still question how this is different from Myers-Briggs or any of the other personality test fads.

Apparently doing so is very 5 of me. 😆

Unsurprisingly, when I googled other famous 5s (I skipped the wings & subtypes for now), I ran into the usual crew I'm lumped together with as with Myers-Briggs---I guess Jodie Foster and I are destined to be personality twins.

[Melissa]

I love learning more about the enneagram! I have been following Stephanie's Instagram page for quite a while, and I love how easy she makes it to understand myself and other people in my life. I will definitely be referring back to Enneagram in Real Life again and again.


(I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.)

[Kristy]

I started reading this and skipping around, taking the quizzes, reading the different types. I’m kind of just more confused honestly. I don’t fit neatly into any of these types or subtypes!
It’s kind of interesting, I guess. I’d like to explore other books about the Enneagram. But still— so confusing !

[Kris]

Interesting and accurate in my enneagram type but not helpful with relationships unless you know others’ enneagram type, because how would you?

All of these assessments are a bit like the Zodiac; kernels of truth but also untruth.

[Amanda Olson]

Rudimentary and a little all over the place. There’s too much housekeeping in the front half and she flies by some pretty complex topics before she gets to the types. I do find her concepts of tolerance really helpful.

[Melissa]

I feel like I got a better grasp on what enneagram is. The typing quiz was also quite accurate, just based on my own self-assessment and how relatable the description of the types are.

It's a roughly three to four hour read including quiz time; can be done in one sitting.

[Heather]

I know the science on personality-based stuff is pretty hit and miss, but I do find the concept of the enneagram pretty interesting. Any time I read anything about what I think is my type (hardcore 2), I think, wow, yeah, that's right on, good and bad.

[Jillian Eliza]

2.5 rounded up. I found this to be too scientific at times. I’ve preferred other enneagram books I’ve read.

[Laura Gardoski]

I’ve read better books about the enneagram. I was intrigued to take this particular quiz which revealed that I could actually be very close to being a 6. I’m a definite 2.

[Read_by_Paige]

Very interesting read!

[Rusty Graves]

Very practical book on a popular personality typology. Could serve as a quick reference guide for people using the Enneagram.

[Donna Pincince]

3.5 Good Basic introduction to Enneagram

[Brooke Smith]

I found it helpful to dive deeper into my enneagram!

[sandylexi]

this isn't narrative fic so like fuck it jsais mm pas pk jlai mis en tant que en lecrture

[Jen]

It’s like a more in depth personality quiz. Not sure if I’m completely convinced, but it’s fun to think about.

[Sydney Aerin]

**I was given a free advanced digital copy in exchange for an honest review**

I thoroughly enjoyed this Enneagram guide! I am a licensed therapist, but although some of the concepts were familiar to me, the book brought them into new focus. The concept of "thresholds" is well-known, but the way the author described it in relation to the Enneagram was so helpful - I've discussed this with my partner and some of my clients already! The book was easier to understand and more fluid in its practical applications than other Enneagram info that I've read, so I think this is a very accessible and useful starting point for Enneagram education. I highlighted so many sections! Can't wait to buy the physical copy!

[Amy Heikkinen]

Quotes & notes to save:

On type 2:
Pg144: “There’s a deep sadness there, which relates to the type Two’s concern about their truest self: many Twos wonder if others saw them for the full spectrum of their emotional world if they’d still be as loved and wanted. Twos subconsciously doubt anyone truly loves them beyond what they do for others.”

Pg 145: “Twos are motivated by a desire to be loved, wanted, and needed, and they lead with warmth and affection. While Twos are often labeled ‘the Helper,’ many Twos are not primarily motivated to be a helpful in the traditional sense, like helping a friend move or dropping off a casserole. Instead, they focus on securing warm, loving relationships, crafting heartfelt connections, and creating a positive environment where everyone is happy and taken care of. Deep down, Twos place much of their self-worth in how likable they are in the eyes of others.”

Pg 151: “The virtue of type Two is humility, which is the ability to allow themselves to be as they are; they doing need to be more or less important than others to gain love or affection. Humility allows Twos the freedom to be exactly as they are, knowing that they are not so powerful that their word or deeds will change the cost of history. They can offer love and genuine care from a place of true altruism as their worth is not defined by how likable or lovable others find them… They are simply loved, exactly as they are.”

Pg 152: “Notice when your automatic activities are a function of pride. For example, when you call a friend to check in or offer to bring them coffee, observe that impulse… Find a pause. As you pause, simply take a breath and ground yourself… Get curious about a different reaction: what else could you choose?… think about how to step out of your normal reaction… perhaps you start to notice a tinge of loneliness… Experiment with different responses or reactions.”

Pg 154: “Social Twos give advice, encouragement, gifts, assistance - whatever they think others need. They tend to think they know what’s best, and they habitually forget to ask others if whatever they’re giving is actually wanted or needed. These Twos have high expectations of themselves and others… Ask: Who do you help most? Why? Bringing attention to this (and then shifting that effort back to yourself) can help you find the care you long for.”

Pg 158-160: “Turn curiosity inward: What made you feel something today? What do you daydream about? What do you long for in life?
Express yourself: practice sharing more of the low side of your emotional range. You can start small, but allow yourself to share some of your difficult feelings that you assume might make others unhappy or disappointed in you.
Get back on your side of the net: instead of overworrying about how others will feel if you ask for help, simply trust that others will lend you a hand when they want to and can. If they do help, trust it’s ok to simply say “thank you so much” and move on!
Get comfortable with the word “no.” : say no once a day. Level up this challenge by hearing no once a day, too.