Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book to review as part of a blog tour hosted by Rachel's Random Resources.
After I finished reading this book, I had one overriding thought – that I didn’t know if I could put into words how it made me feel. The emotional depth and complexity it offered were far beyond the typical romance novel, and it was all set against the backdrop of a gorgeously realised – and well-researched – Hollywood movie making scene.
The novel’s first person perspective is Hester Carlyle – a governess for wealthy families, but whose own is considerably worse off. A collapsed roof and her father’s worsening health force Hester to look for work once more in a profession she feels she’s given everything to. Her assignment is as a governess for Erin, the seven year old daughter of film star Aidan Neil – in California.
I’ve never been to the USA – but with Weston’s talent for creating a sense of place, I didn’t need to. “There are cars everywhere,” Hester describes on one of her early journeys into the city, “much bigger ones than at home, painted in bold reds, blues and racing green. A yellow tram rattles past. In empty plots, weeds like spears grow high as eight-year-olds..”
As readers, we immediately get the sense that Hester may be out of her depth in California. Upon meeting Aidan Neil in person, that increases.
I’ve always said that I’ve loved slow burn romances. However, I’ve struggled to put my finger on exactly why this is – at least, until reading this novel.
Aidan Neil is, at first, a standoffish enigma of a man who sees Hester’s attempts to bond with Erin as a threat to her safety. As he bluntly puts it himself in an early conversation, “I lost her mother. I will not risk losing my daughter.”
This protectiveness colours much of Hester and Aidan’s early interactions – Aidan is a man with a wall around his heart, and Weston does a remarkable job at showing it.
However, it’s what lies behind this protective nature – grief – that begins to bring employee and employer closer. When they share their experiences of it with each other, “a silent sympathy” is felt, “bigger than any words we could have spoken.”
Indeed, it’s actions that make this slow-burn romance so tantalising. Whether it’s a tap on the shoulder, or hands brushing against each other as a drink is passed, the moments of fleeting connection ratchet up the romantic tension so much that it’s almost unbearable. Though the payoff may come a little late for some, to me it felt satisfying and entirely earned.
This romance is intercut with the novel’s other big plot thread – Dinah Doyle, and the mystery surrounding her death. The untimely passing of the actress leaves a chasm in the family home, one that Hester can’t help but fall into. A combination of chance encounters, and conversations with Aidan, Erin, and others help her start to slowly unravel the threads of her life. Dinah’s reality was far from what people saw in her films – as Aidan puts it, “we were both better actors than anyone gave us credit for.” What ultimately transpires about her is something I won’t reveal here, but it was equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking.
For a novel with an acting family at its core, it’s no surprise that Hollywood itself plays such a pivotal role. Weston vividly captures the reality behind the movie industry. There is the glamour that Hester’s younger sister Rosie loves so much – but also misogyny, prejudice, and a sense of ownership over its stars. “It takes a pretty girl and convinces the world she’s beautiful,” Aidan explains. “Takes an average Joe and turns him into a star. But it’s all an illusion. Don’t let the bright lights fool you.”
With scars both mental and physical, Hester struggles throughout to heed this advice. “What does he see as he looks at me?” she asks herself at one point. “My fingers go to my scarred cheek. Stupid question! I know what he sees. What all men see when they look at me.” A lot of her internal monologue is like this – centered around how little she believes she fits into the Hollywood circle – and while this is a completely believable part of her character, the amount of time it comes up is the one thing I’d change about this novel.
One thing I definitely wouldn’t change is the supporting characters, especially Aidan’s daughter Erin. Her grief is as deep as her father’s – perhaps even deeper – but with her love of fairytales and penchant for slang, she provides a very sweet counterpoint to some of the heavier moments of the novel. Not to mention that Erin herself is who brings Aidan and Hester closer together – helping him realise where his priorities lie, and showing her how she doesn’t need to hide herself for anyone.
In the end, Weston’s debut novel is as much about embracing one’s true self as it is about finding love. Like the best movies, its glitzy surface hides layers of complexity – amounting to a story I simply didn’t want to let go of.