“If fear is always a companion, it is futile to push it away. If uncertainty can never be solved, you have more freedom in terms of how you choose to spend your time, and which risks you take. If insecurity is always present, wholeheartedly committing to the work that matters to you becomes much more sensible. And if doubt creeps in, you can welcome it: “oh, it’s you, the doubt monster? Nice to see you again!“ this shift, in perspective, emboldened me. If the journey of good work means I might feel somewhat inadequate, so what? As the poet, Robert Frost wrote, “the best way out is through.“
We internalise the message of what has been called the achievement society where the primary goal of a life is to constantly improve, not to become “entrepreneurs of ourselves.“ But constantly trying to be “better“ capricious towards goals that are not ours, robbing us of our connection to ourselves. This pressure makes it easy to overlook feelings of discontent.
We tell ourselves that we should be grateful for our circumstances, especially once we’ve landed that “good“ job. We dismiss stress, relationship challenges, long hours, or lack of personal time as trivial, costs, necessary, trade-offs we must make. Our focus shifts to the material outcomes that job provides: the dream home, nice cars, and luxury vacations. This creates an illusion. We start identify more with our possessions than ourselves, convinced that we can “have it all“ no matter how we structure our work lives. Yeah, deep down, we know this is a lie.
This is a crucial point: by worrying, first, and foremost about figuring out what people will pay for, too many people in the past towards good work, short-circuit, their own interests, curiosity and energy. Instead of searching for skill market fit, you should start with personal interest to fit what are the activities you absolutely must do? What do you truly care about? As the popular saying goes, “the reward for good work is more work,“ so you better like doing it! “