What to Do When You Feel Broken: How to Let Go of Negative Patterns, Heal Your Relationships and Find Freedom

by Dr Laura Williams

You’re not broken! Learn how your past impacts your present and develop the psychological mindset you need to break damaging patterns in how you interact with and relate to others.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Williams’ life was turned upside down by her husband’s sudden death at the age of 37, when they had three young children. This trauma forced her to reexamine everything and apply the psychological teachings she’d used professionally to help hundreds of others, to her own life.

In What to Do When You Feel Broken, Dr. Williams uses her remarkable story to take you on a journey of self-discovery. This book will help you to understand what drives your behavior and why unhelpful psychological traits can persist from influential early conditioning. Many of us have experienced some level of relational trauma that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, fails to address and are searching for ways to heal. Dr. Williams shows you how to heal from trauma by simplifying key psychological theories so you can learn how to formulate and understand your unique psychological story. 

Filled with practical exercises, this book will help you to identify your needs, communicate effectively in your key relationships, and change your mindset so that you can break free from negative patterns—such as perfectionism or imposter syndrome—that limit your personal growth. Having applied psychological theories to her own life as well as her patients’, Dr. Williams distills her professional and personal wisdom to help you live with more meaning, freedom, and purpose than ever before.

227 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 18, 2025

Reviews

[Stefano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredibly helpful book, which manages to achieve a very difficult balance. It illustrates psychological concepts and provides examples and tools that connect and apply to everyday life. Whenever the book utilises academic and professional terminology, it provides clear explanations so that the reader never feels lost or overwhelmed. It is extremely well written and it has a very curated pace.
The author, Dr Laura Williams, often uses her personal story to talk about trauma, feelings and relationships, and this helps create a very strong emotional connection with the reader.
I absolutely recommend reading this book as it has helped me gain a better understanding of my own feelings and behaviours and the tools that are available to work on healthy emotional resilience.

[Lily Hope Everhart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jeśli interesujesz się psychologią lub masz gorszy czas w życiu, a nie stać Cię na psychologa, ta książka będzie strzałem w dziesiątkę. Autorka w przystępny sposób tłumaczy, jak traumy - przede wszystkim te z dzieciństwa, ale też z dorosłości - oraz wychowanie i genetyka wpływają na nasze wzorce myślowe i dobrostan emocjonalny. Laura Williams podkreśla, że większość z nas przeżyła większe lub mniejsze traumy i często nie jesteśmy świadomi, jak z pozoru „mała drobnostka” mogła na nas wpłynąć.

Bardzo fajne jest to, że książka została napisana naprawdę prostym językiem, a każde pojęcie jest od razu tłumaczone, dzięki czemu każdy będzie w stanie ją zrozumieć. Co więcej, znajdziesz tu historie z życia autorki - o śmierci męża czy pracy w więzieniu w roli psychologa - a także kilka historii jej pacjentów. Dzięki temu nie ma tu samych definicji i suchych faktów.

W większości odświeżyłam sobie dzięki niej wiedzę, ale dowiedziałam się też wielu ciekawostek, takich jak fakt, że gdy przechodzimy traumę, nasze geny się zmieniają i te zmienione (wadliwe) przekazujemy dzieciom. Słyszałam o tym wcześniej, ale nie wiedziałam, że dokładnie tak to działa. Autorka cały czas podkreśla, że dzieciństwo ma duży wpływ na naszą dorosłość, ale nie musi być wyznacznikiem tego, jacy jesteśmy. Poprzez różne nurty, takie jak terapia poznawczo-behawioralna, możemy zmienić swój sposób myślenia, a nawet zachowania.

Zaznaczyłam sobie bardzo dużo fragmentów. Myślę, że nawet jeśli nie ma się większych problemów, jest to wartościowa lektura, po którą warto sięgnąć - tym bardziej że nie jest to „tylko” książka. Na końcu rozdziałów znajdują się ćwiczenia w formie pytań, które pozwalają lepiej poznać samego siebie. Według autorki są one podobne do tych, które usłyszelibyśmy na prawdziwej terapii, więc tym bardziej warto spróbować. Ja jeszcze do nich nie przysiadłam, ale jak tylko znajdę chwilę, na pewno wrócę do tej książki, żeby z nimi popracować.

[Stuart The Paperback Psychologist · Rating 5 out of 5]

In What To Do When You Feel Broken, Dr Laura Williams writes with a unique authority. Dr Laura weaves her experience as a skilled and compassionate Clinical Psychologist, alongside her own experience of trauma, to create a deeply important and compelling read. This authenticity of experience, coupled with information and techniques that are grounded in evidence based psychological therapies, gives the reader a powerful and trustworthy means to understand and work through psychological distress.

This book will appeal to a range of readers, particularly those looking to understand their own psychology and to find practical tools. Moreover, as a Clinical Psychologist myself, I consider that professionals at all stages in their careers will benefit from reading Dr Laura’s book.

I particularly enjoyed Dr Laura’s accessible explanation of psychological formulation and the opportunity she gives readers to develop and understand their own formulation. Throughout the book, Dr Laura draws from a range of psychological therapies including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) and Schema Therapy.

What To Do When You Feel Broken is a moving, informative and inspirational read. I took a lot from this book, both personally and professionally. Dr Laura writes with a genuine care and understanding of the experience of trauma, whilst providing the hope and the steps needed to rebuild.

[aneta_w_trasie · Rating 5 out of 5]

To książka, po którą sięga się zwykle w momencie, gdy grunt usuwa się spod nóg i właśnie wtedy okazuje się najbardziej potrzebna. Laura Williams pisze wprost do czytelnika, bez nadęcia i moralizowania, jakby mówiła: „Wiem, że jest trudno. Zobaczmy, co możemy z tym zrobić”. Znajdziemy tu konkretne narzędzia do radzenia sobie z kryzysem, stratą czy nagłą zmianą, ale podane w sposób ciepły i przystępny, a nie jak lista zadań do odhaczenia. Bardzo podobało mi się, że autorka nie obiecuje cudownej przemiany w trzy dni raczej pokazuje małe kroki, które pomagają odzyskać poczucie kontroli. To książka o budowaniu odporności psychicznej, ale też o akceptacji tego, że czasem można się rozsypać. Czyta się ją powoli, z ołówkiem w ręku, zatrzymując się przy fragmentach, które trafiają dokładnie tam, gdzie trzeba. Niektóre ćwiczenia są proste, inne wymagają odwagi, ale wszystkie mają jeden cel pomóc wrócić do siebie. To lektura, która nie rozwiąże problemów za nas, ale może stać się pierwszym krokiem do poukładania chaosu.
A Wy kiedy świat się wali, wolicie działać od razu czy najpierw pozwalacie sobie na chwilę zatrzymania? 💛📚

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

i will never be able to praise or recommend this book enough.

beautifully vulnerable and candid, Dr Laura opens up about her own traumas and struggles in a way that makes you feel less alone. through sharing the heartbreaking story of her husband's sudden death, Laura takes us on an exploration of how we can heal from our own traumas and difficult life events.

Dr Laura teaches us that there can be joy after sadness, that joy and sadness can coexist, and that it is okay to feel how you feel. she teaches us to be kind and compassionate to ourselves, how to live a beautifully imperfect life, how to find our own power. through her kind words and practical exercises and prompts at the end of every chapter, this book truly helps you to do the work on yourself.

this book is so much more than a book. it is a companion for life and i know it is something i will come back to again and again throughout my life. it's filled with hope, reassurance, and practical strategies that will help you to heal yourself and find the strength to keep going.

[Rachel]

Wasn’t prepared to read the details of her trauma. Probably a useful book to start processes but not much new or helpful when you’ve already been in therapy for a while. Some good prompts for writing, but was an audio book.
Also the Scottish accent was beautiful but hard as an audiobook - spent all the time between words reworking and deciphering to be able to understand it, instead of taking it in. A lot of effort

[Sheryl The Bookworm! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this! I appreciate Dr Williams’ vulnerability in sharing her life experiences and aligning it with psychotherapy concepts for readers’ understanding. I found it really useful in seeing how I formed my personality in relation to my family’s patterns and upbringing.

[Romance Lover · Rating 3 out of 5]

The opening chapters made me bawl my eyes out, and I don’t really have much else to say other than I’m still broken, and now I feel horrible for the author.

[Holly Petteit · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good I made my mum read it and it got her going to therapy

[Mary Jackson _TheMaryReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was easy to read and easy to understand. But after reading it two times I don't feel any different not sure it helped me. I just may be to broken to help.

[Elle Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating and simple

Rarely does a book tackle genuine academia and deliver it in such a palatable manner. Accessible, thoughtful, relatable; I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t benefit from reading this.

[Stefano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredibly helpful book, which manages to achieve a very difficult balance. It illustrates psychological concepts and provides examples and tools that connect and apply to everyday life. Whenever the book utilises academic and professional terminology, it provides clear explanations so that the reader never feels lost or overwhelmed. It is extremely well written and it has a very curated pace.
The author, Dr Laura Williams, often uses her personal story to talk about trauma, feelings and relationships, and this helps create a very strong emotional connection with the reader.
I absolutely recommend reading this book as it has helped me gain a better understanding of my own feelings and behaviours and the tools that are available to work on healthy emotional resilience.