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Peaceful Parenting
A book about exposing and imposing evil and violence done to children. A philosophical, data-driven exploration of the anti-rational values of our society regarding our most vulnerable members.
- GenresParenting
451 pages, ebook
Published January 1, 2024
11 people are currently reading
32 people want to read
About the author
Stefan Molyneux
36 books527 followersStefan Molyneux is the founder and host of Freedomain Radio, the largest and most popular philosophical show in the world. With more than 2,600 podcasts, 10 books and 50 million downloads, Stefan has spread the cause of liberty and philosophy to listeners throughout the world.
As the host of Freedomain Radio, Stefan has interviewed experts Noam Chomsky, Dr. Nathaniel Branden, Dr. Warren Farrell, Peter Schiff, Dr. Peter Boghossian, Dr. Mary J. Ruwart and many others.
Prior to launching Freedomain Radio, Stefan built a thriving career as a software entrepreneur and executive. In 2006, he left his work in the tech industry to devote his efforts to Freedomain Radio. Now a self-identified full-time parent and philosopher, Stefan speaks regularly at liberty-themed events all over North and South America. His speeches cover subjects ranging from politics, philosophy, science, atheism and economics to relationships, parenting and how to achieve real freedom in your life.
Stefan is the author of two novels, "Revolutions" and "The God of Atheists," as well as eight non-fiction books on relationships, government and religion.
Past live appearances include presentations at the New Hampshire Liberty Forum, the Porcupine Freedom Festival, Libertopia, Students For Liberty, FreedomFest, LibertyNow, Capitalism and Morality, LibertyFest West, the Brazilian Mises Institute's Idieas em Movimento, Freedom Summit, and the Global Escape Hatch.
Stefan has participated in a number of live debates, among them: "Bitcoin vs. Gold: The Future of Money" with Peter Schiff, "Zeitgeist Versus the Market" with Peter Joseph, "The Function of the State in Society" with Professor Vladimir Safatle and "How Much Government is Necessary?" with Michael Badnarik.
In addition to hosting his own regular show, Stefan has been a guest on audio and television programs such as RT America's "Breaking the Set" with Abby Martin, "Adam vs. The Man" with Adam Kokesh, "The Keiser Report" with Max Keiser and "The Joe Rogan Experience" with Joe Rogan.
As the host of Freedomain Radio, Stefan has interviewed experts Noam Chomsky, Dr. Nathaniel Branden, Dr. Warren Farrell, Peter Schiff, Dr. Peter Boghossian, Dr. Mary J. Ruwart and many others.
Prior to launching Freedomain Radio, Stefan built a thriving career as a software entrepreneur and executive. In 2006, he left his work in the tech industry to devote his efforts to Freedomain Radio. Now a self-identified full-time parent and philosopher, Stefan speaks regularly at liberty-themed events all over North and South America. His speeches cover subjects ranging from politics, philosophy, science, atheism and economics to relationships, parenting and how to achieve real freedom in your life.
Stefan is the author of two novels, "Revolutions" and "The God of Atheists," as well as eight non-fiction books on relationships, government and religion.
Past live appearances include presentations at the New Hampshire Liberty Forum, the Porcupine Freedom Festival, Libertopia, Students For Liberty, FreedomFest, LibertyNow, Capitalism and Morality, LibertyFest West, the Brazilian Mises Institute's Idieas em Movimento, Freedom Summit, and the Global Escape Hatch.
Stefan has participated in a number of live debates, among them: "Bitcoin vs. Gold: The Future of Money" with Peter Schiff, "Zeitgeist Versus the Market" with Peter Joseph, "The Function of the State in Society" with Professor Vladimir Safatle and "How Much Government is Necessary?" with Michael Badnarik.
In addition to hosting his own regular show, Stefan has been a guest on audio and television programs such as RT America's "Breaking the Set" with Abby Martin, "Adam vs. The Man" with Adam Kokesh, "The Keiser Report" with Max Keiser and "The Joe Rogan Experience" with Joe Rogan.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
August 11, 2025
Molyneux has taken on a tremendous task, first of its kind really, namely a philosophical, data-driven attack on the evils of child abuse and he actually pulls it off. He manages to achieve something remarkable, it genuinely feels like being part of a historical moment, an actual turning point for the world towards something better.
What makes this work stand out is the completeness of it – there is nothing left unsaid, no stone is left unturned, every dark corner of parental anti-logic is revealed with the light of reason and copious data is presented to back all the claims. It could be the most important book to read before having kids… come to think of it, perhaps it’s one of the most important books to read in general. We’ve all been on the receiving end of parental abuse as children or if we’re lucky enough to have escaped it, we’re still in a world full of people who have.
I particularly enjoyed the theoretical conversations with one’s children on how to peacefully bring standards and discipline into the relationship. It’s something that only Molyneux could write at this point in time and it raises the book to another level. The last part of the book, taking apart parental excuses to justify child abuse, is among the same category.
The long part in the book addressing all the data is also crucial, there are lots of studies on brain maldevelopment relating to child abuse, about the ACE score and its massive physical and mental health effects and lots more. One of the studies I found most interesting was the study of 35 families, where they strapped an audio recording device on the mothers to see how much they actually physically punished their children and for what reasons. Apparently physical punishment of children is heavily under-reported, it turned out that mothers hit their children about 50 times more than was previously recorded in a 1999 study based on questionnaires, in 12 of the 35 families, the median rate was 18 times per week or 936 times per year and received by children as young as 7 months. The reasons for physical punishment were usually incredibly benign, for example turning pages of a storybook.
This book can definitely be extremely triggering which is why it has quite a lengthy and indeed, necessary trigger-warning in the beginning. The sentimentality and theatrical style of Molyneux in the audiobook was a bit much at times but in the end after finishing the book I am left with a warm feeling of hope for a better future and gratitude that this kind of book exists.
What makes this work stand out is the completeness of it – there is nothing left unsaid, no stone is left unturned, every dark corner of parental anti-logic is revealed with the light of reason and copious data is presented to back all the claims. It could be the most important book to read before having kids… come to think of it, perhaps it’s one of the most important books to read in general. We’ve all been on the receiving end of parental abuse as children or if we’re lucky enough to have escaped it, we’re still in a world full of people who have.
I particularly enjoyed the theoretical conversations with one’s children on how to peacefully bring standards and discipline into the relationship. It’s something that only Molyneux could write at this point in time and it raises the book to another level. The last part of the book, taking apart parental excuses to justify child abuse, is among the same category.
The long part in the book addressing all the data is also crucial, there are lots of studies on brain maldevelopment relating to child abuse, about the ACE score and its massive physical and mental health effects and lots more. One of the studies I found most interesting was the study of 35 families, where they strapped an audio recording device on the mothers to see how much they actually physically punished their children and for what reasons. Apparently physical punishment of children is heavily under-reported, it turned out that mothers hit their children about 50 times more than was previously recorded in a 1999 study based on questionnaires, in 12 of the 35 families, the median rate was 18 times per week or 936 times per year and received by children as young as 7 months. The reasons for physical punishment were usually incredibly benign, for example turning pages of a storybook.
This book can definitely be extremely triggering which is why it has quite a lengthy and indeed, necessary trigger-warning in the beginning. The sentimentality and theatrical style of Molyneux in the audiobook was a bit much at times but in the end after finishing the book I am left with a warm feeling of hope for a better future and gratitude that this kind of book exists.
November 4, 2024
This will be one of the few books I constantly bring up to people in conversation. I urge you to read this book. Whether you are a parent, or you don’t want children, this book is for you. This is truly Stefan’s best work. Makes a thoroughly solid case for Peaceful Parenting. Truly irrefutable.
This book is free to read on the website along with the AI trained on the content of this book (and thousands of hours of Stefan’s podcasts). PeacefulParenting dot com
This book is free to read on the website along with the AI trained on the content of this book (and thousands of hours of Stefan’s podcasts). PeacefulParenting dot com
June 27, 2025
The book reads like a bad undergraduate philosophy essay. For example, Molyneux says that parents commonly justify their decision to hit their children by saying "they don't listen to me." He takes this justification at face-value and goes on to show how absurd it is, because an employee could never justify hitting his boss because his boss didn't listen to him. It apparently does not occur to Molyneux that reported motivations might diverge from real motivations, especially when someone is defensive or guilty about his actions! Overlooking elementary psychology like this just makes a nonsense of his whole position.
He also makes a number of blatantly ludicrous remarks, such as: "children have no legal status." It is difficult to believe that someone as intelligent as Molyneux could write something as unserious as this.
Ultimately, this book suffers from two fundamental and fatal flaws.
The first is that the author is too close to his subject matter. He was himself abused as a child and has devoted countless hours to discussing the subject of child abuse, speaking to other abuse victims, and so on. The unfortunate result of this, especially apparent if you listen to him narrate the audiobook, is a clearly deeply-felt but vindictive diatribe against modern parenting, cast as a kind of mass crime against humanity. Molyneux seems interested not in describing parenthood but taking revenge on it. The invective laced throughout the opening chapters in particular is hard to take seriously. I think abuse victims deserve better than this.
The second, and more critical, mistake is that the author treats children as if they are little adults. They are not. He makes endless comparisons between the parent-child relationship and various adult-adult relationships in order to argue that children are uniquely mistreated, disregarded, and unloved in the modern world. What is missing from all this is recognition that while adults should love one another, parents must not only love but raise their children, and the raising of children is a unique endeavour which involves many things which would never apply in other contexts, and certainly not to adults. You simply cannot compare parenthood to an arranged marriage, an employment contract, or slave owernship, no matter how many superficial similarities you can find between these things. The failure to acknowledge this sends the author down the proverbial garden path, and we end up with a poor re-hashing of Adorno's The Authoritarian Personality, in which it is argued that anything other than lax parenting is essentially a form of abuse which causes children to be unhappy and mentally unstable.
The problem is that all this directly contradicts the empirical evidence. At the extreme, there are many longditudinal studies showing that the children who grow up to be the most mentally stable adults are those who are subjected to moderate and predictable corporal punishment (as opposed to arbitrary violence) within the context of a loving relationship. Studies examining the outcomes of different parenting styles show that the kind of order-less, boundary-less approach - the approach which effectively 'parentalises' the child by treating him in the same moral terms as an adult and expecting him to make all the important decisions for himself - the approach Molyneux is at pains to describe as 'respectful' and 'peaceful,' is in fact no such thing, tending rather to produce neurotic and mentally unstable children. The child essentially never learns to cope with negative things happening to him, because the parent not only shield hims from outside negativity but also makes sure never to be the origin of any negativity in the form of discipline or boundary-setting. The result of such a childhood is an adult who cannot cope with the inevitable harshness of the world when stepping beyond his parents' protection. The research shows that it is important for children to understand that certain things are wrong and punishable as such, and this produces a much healthier sense of self and healthier relationships with others.
Healthy people develop a balance between co-operating with other people and asserting their own boundaries. One of the perverse outcomes of raising a child as if he is a mini-adult - as Molyneux recommends - is that the child is less able to develop this balance and is more likely to become either highly selfish (because there are no boundaries, so I will just aim to get what I want), or highly weak, conciliatory, and shy (because I have seen no examples of when it is right to assert oneself, so I just let other people walk over me) - precisely the symptomology Molyneux identifies in the introduction as the signs of rampant hidden child abuse all around us!
Does all of this mean that you should hit your children? No, obviously not. But what it does mean is that, according to the evidence, the 'sweet spot' on the spectrum of parenting styles is a broadly traditionally strict approach with moderate, predictable, and structured punishment of one kind or another - the same kind of parenting Molyneux believes stems from unjustifiable feelings of parental 'entitlement' that one's children owe one obedience, and so on.
Unfortunately, Molyneux does not engage with the empirical research and prefers to dismiss even the possibility of these findings a priori. For him, there is no such thing as 'corporal punishment within a loving relationship' - the idea is a contradiction in terms. Because he tries to put children in the same moral category as adults in all respects (for noble reasons, I should add), and because he tries to derive a parenting philosophy purely from a moralistic framework with no regard for the actual facts of human psychology, the entire project of the book just falls flat. This is the 'armchair philosopher's' guide to parenting, totally detached from the real world.
He also makes a number of blatantly ludicrous remarks, such as: "children have no legal status." It is difficult to believe that someone as intelligent as Molyneux could write something as unserious as this.
Ultimately, this book suffers from two fundamental and fatal flaws.
The first is that the author is too close to his subject matter. He was himself abused as a child and has devoted countless hours to discussing the subject of child abuse, speaking to other abuse victims, and so on. The unfortunate result of this, especially apparent if you listen to him narrate the audiobook, is a clearly deeply-felt but vindictive diatribe against modern parenting, cast as a kind of mass crime against humanity. Molyneux seems interested not in describing parenthood but taking revenge on it. The invective laced throughout the opening chapters in particular is hard to take seriously. I think abuse victims deserve better than this.
The second, and more critical, mistake is that the author treats children as if they are little adults. They are not. He makes endless comparisons between the parent-child relationship and various adult-adult relationships in order to argue that children are uniquely mistreated, disregarded, and unloved in the modern world. What is missing from all this is recognition that while adults should love one another, parents must not only love but raise their children, and the raising of children is a unique endeavour which involves many things which would never apply in other contexts, and certainly not to adults. You simply cannot compare parenthood to an arranged marriage, an employment contract, or slave owernship, no matter how many superficial similarities you can find between these things. The failure to acknowledge this sends the author down the proverbial garden path, and we end up with a poor re-hashing of Adorno's The Authoritarian Personality, in which it is argued that anything other than lax parenting is essentially a form of abuse which causes children to be unhappy and mentally unstable.
The problem is that all this directly contradicts the empirical evidence. At the extreme, there are many longditudinal studies showing that the children who grow up to be the most mentally stable adults are those who are subjected to moderate and predictable corporal punishment (as opposed to arbitrary violence) within the context of a loving relationship. Studies examining the outcomes of different parenting styles show that the kind of order-less, boundary-less approach - the approach which effectively 'parentalises' the child by treating him in the same moral terms as an adult and expecting him to make all the important decisions for himself - the approach Molyneux is at pains to describe as 'respectful' and 'peaceful,' is in fact no such thing, tending rather to produce neurotic and mentally unstable children. The child essentially never learns to cope with negative things happening to him, because the parent not only shield hims from outside negativity but also makes sure never to be the origin of any negativity in the form of discipline or boundary-setting. The result of such a childhood is an adult who cannot cope with the inevitable harshness of the world when stepping beyond his parents' protection. The research shows that it is important for children to understand that certain things are wrong and punishable as such, and this produces a much healthier sense of self and healthier relationships with others.
Healthy people develop a balance between co-operating with other people and asserting their own boundaries. One of the perverse outcomes of raising a child as if he is a mini-adult - as Molyneux recommends - is that the child is less able to develop this balance and is more likely to become either highly selfish (because there are no boundaries, so I will just aim to get what I want), or highly weak, conciliatory, and shy (because I have seen no examples of when it is right to assert oneself, so I just let other people walk over me) - precisely the symptomology Molyneux identifies in the introduction as the signs of rampant hidden child abuse all around us!
Does all of this mean that you should hit your children? No, obviously not. But what it does mean is that, according to the evidence, the 'sweet spot' on the spectrum of parenting styles is a broadly traditionally strict approach with moderate, predictable, and structured punishment of one kind or another - the same kind of parenting Molyneux believes stems from unjustifiable feelings of parental 'entitlement' that one's children owe one obedience, and so on.
Unfortunately, Molyneux does not engage with the empirical research and prefers to dismiss even the possibility of these findings a priori. For him, there is no such thing as 'corporal punishment within a loving relationship' - the idea is a contradiction in terms. Because he tries to put children in the same moral category as adults in all respects (for noble reasons, I should add), and because he tries to derive a parenting philosophy purely from a moralistic framework with no regard for the actual facts of human psychology, the entire project of the book just falls flat. This is the 'armchair philosopher's' guide to parenting, totally detached from the real world.
January 7, 2025
A must read for all parents and full of groundbreaking truths for anyone. The key to a different human society.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews