What a fucking book…buckle up for the amount of quotes…
And I do something I should have done a long time ago.
I let myself feel.
Yeah, this mf gets you in your feelings. You feel pain from both sides.
Vlad fucked up…and still wasn’t in the full wrong, and Sissi, also fucked up and still wasn’t in the wrong. Such a difficult situation and so painful for them and me. The pit in my stomach opened in page one (never mind I’m lying, it opened in book one) and it didn’t close for a long ass time. I needed Sissi and Vlad to make their way back to each other and find that true stability and trust, nothing secret, nothing hidden, bare to one another…and they did in the most beautiful way possible.
Crazy character growth, both from Vlad, but most importantly from Sisi.
Vlad, he chose himself and Sisi, he decided to put her above his past, and in doing that he found something that forced him to find ways to change and be better, to get over his traumas (as much as possible because ofc that’s not a thing you can forget) and to make something from the ashes of the war path he’d been on.
Vlad taking advice from the web on how to court a woman will never not be funny. His devotion to Sisi knows no bounds, and even if it means seeking help on mundane things he'd never even thought he'd do in his life, he'll crawl, fight, and cry to keep his hell girl happy and with him. To see his character evolve and change, because of loving Sisi, because of overcoming his past, because of finding a partner to share his most derranged side with and not be shuned, that was life changing and Veronica did a marvelous job of making it feel organic and natural, an evolution moved by real life events and not just a plot point.
And Sisi? Yeah, that's the woman she was always supposed to be. She got to explore and learn who she was in a safe space with Vlad and learn what she likes and wants from life. She found a purpose, and the trust in herself and her newly learned talents allowed her to be part of something bigger, within the mafia setting and THE life. She was a badass, and I loved that for her.
I loved even more how Vlad accompanied her into dangerous situations without hindering her independence; he was there to protect her, but he let her protect herself, only stepping in when necessary.
Oh and what the fuck? The plot went crazy in the last 300 pages. I never expected THAT to be the intention, like human trafficking wasn’t enough, they had to go and do THAT too? I never saw it coming…and to think they did it to Sisi? Vlad was going to go on a rampage.
I had to take breaks because the tension of the plot and the action were getting to me. I was worried and anxious and so invested.
Veronica brings a level of emotion and compassion to the reader. Sure, the descriptions are graphic and dark, but necessary. It IS a horrific fate, and it’s not always fiction; somewhere around the world, victims of the flesh trade have had to live through this, so yes, it might make some uncomfortable to read, but it does justice to what victims have had to endure, what Vlad and Vanya endured.
AND CHAPTER 40 WAS PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS OMFG, V THAT WAS SO MEAN TO MAKE ME CRY AT 4 AM!
But honestly, thank you for the e-arc, the fact that I'm in your team still feels surreal sometimes.
Quotes (buckle up):
I'm already going to Hell. Might as well enjoy the journey.
For the first time in my life, I value a human life, and I find that in order to preserve it, I'd do anything.
"You go to her and you beg for forgiveness. You'll be lucky if she gives it to you."
Because a world without Sisi is not a world I want to live in.
"They call you el demonio, Vlad. For them, you are the epitome of evil."
"Thank you, V. For keeping me company for so long. And I'm sorry,"
And yet, despite shattering me inside out, I still couldn't shake the love I have for him.
"You're not getting rid of me, hell girl,"
There's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for her, and that includes mass murder. And genocide. And even nuclear war.
Anyone who tries to take Sisi away from me is fucking dead.
Because the truth is that I still love him.
I never stopped.
"I know I made a mockery of your love for me, when in truth, it warmed me where I didn't know I was cold. You made me warm, Sisi."
"I'm imagining it's my God touching me,"
"Fuck me, hell girl," I groan. "How can I last when you say things like that? My not so saintly little nun likes to play dirty,"
I was made to worship this woman.
She's the only thing in the entire universe that could bring me to my knees, and oh, but I'd gladly fall. For a taste of her, I'd do more than that. I'd prostate myself at her feet.
"I wanted to be able to tell you I love you in your language too, among other things,"
"As long as I'm your other half I'll be anything you want me to,"
"I'm yours. However, and whoever you want me to be. I'm yours,"
"You want me to wreck you, don't you hell girl?"
"There's no me without you, hell girl. You fucking own every piece of me,"
"My mind," thrust, "my heart," thrust "my fucking damned soul," thrust, "this cock,"
"I love you too, hell girl. I adore you. I fucking worship you. There's no one that compares to you,"
She never once considered changing to accommodate other people's beliefs — never taking the easy way out.
The way I know he could never last without me. The way I know I could never last without him.
Holding her close to me, I know that now that I've found my heaven I'm never letting anyone take her away from me.
"You can't say things like that and assume I won't be spending the entire time thinking about you in that damned confession booth, playing with yourself while I listen to you moaning your sins,"
I'm a simple man. I only have two default settings — killing and Sisi. And when the latter is activated, you can damned well bet I'll be useless for anything other than her.
At this point, getting people to want to kill me seems to be a skill.
"What is this, The Hunger Games?"