The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated

by Cindi McMenamin

You Can Overcome Your Feelings of Aloneness

In our age of increased social isolation and growing reliance on technology, genuine connection can feel more difficult than ever. But what if community and closeness are nearer than you thought?

The New Loneliness is about experiencing the authentic relationships God created you for by identifying and overcoming today’s biggest relational obstacles. Cindi McMenamin explores how our current cultural environment and dependence on electronic devices have hindered our ability to connect, and she offers uplifting guidance, biblical insights, and encouraging action steps to help you
  release feelings of inadequacy and shame by realigning with how the Lord sees you and understanding His purpose for you take confident steps toward nourishing healthy, in-person relationships by learning to slow down and operate from a secure attachment to God thrive within new friendships and community with practical guidance for making life more meaningful and preferring faces over screens  
God did not create us to live in isolation. Journey with the Lord from aloneness to abundance, and flourish as you deepen your relationships with God and others.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help

256 pages, Paperback

Published January 7, 2025

About the author

I am a wife, mother and national speaker who has authored 17 books, including "When Women Walk Alone," "Drama Free" and my most recent, "12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband."

Through my speaking across the country, personal discipleship of women, and writing and teaching, I strive to help women find strength for their soul through a more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Once they realize He is the Only One who satisfies, life takes a new, exciting twist. We can then take our frustrations and turn them into a deeper desire for God.

I live in Southern California with my husband of 30 years. We have an daughter who works for the Walt Disney Company.

I love writing, reading, outdoor activities and Jazzercise!

Reviews

[Vickie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a practical guide as well as a devotional for women who are suffering through loneliness. I was particularly drawn to the scriptures at the end of each chapter which lead the reader to be reflective and honest as well as to draw the reader closer to God. There are also challenges at the end of each chapter that encourage the readers to dig deeper and think harder. This book is a good resource for those who are dealing with loneliness as well as anyone who wants to minister to those suffering from the new loneliness caused by social isolation in today’s world. The topic is compelling, relevant and a welcome breath of fresh air for those who deny that loneliness is even possible in today’s high tech, connected all the time world.
Disclaimer
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher as part of a blog tour. I was not required to write a positive review and all opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16th CFR, Part 255, “Guidelines Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”

[Brandi Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️s | In The New Loneliness, Bible teacher Cindi McMenamin seeks to help readers navigate the loneliness they’re experiencing and make strides toward building meaningful connections.

Based on the synopsis of this book, I was really excited to read it. The book is broken into three parts that deal with reevaluating aspects of (a) our relationship with God, (b) our relationship with ourselves, and (c) our relationship with others.

There was one standout chapter in each section that spoke deeply to me. The others fell a bit flat. It wasn’t for theological error or any reason like that. The book was full of biblical wisdom—it just didn’t feel deeply profound or groundbreaking.

I think I went into reading this with high hopes and expectations. As someone who grapples with loneliness, I was hoping to be wowed. All that said, I do think it’s a worthwhile read and I feel it will be beneficial. It just fell short of my expectations and that’s not the author’s fault.

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.

[Cindy Davis- Cindy's Book Corner · Rating 5 out of 5]

The New Loneliness is an incredible book. I volunteered to review it based on the title alone, and I am glad I did. I have been in a long season of loneliness since we moved states two years ago. I figured I would connect with the book. I did, but not in the ways I expected.

"Multiple studies have confirmed that, regardless of our age, prolonged screen time, extensive social media use, and lack of interpersonal contact with other humans are greatly impacting our anxiety and depression levels as well as our ability to know how to develop and navigate deeper connections with other humans."

I am reading another nonfiction book quite different from this one, yet the themes are very similar. They both expound on being intentional. They both use Scripture to point us to Jesus while having us explore different ideas and topics. While you would expect that from this book, I wasn't expecting to read about having rest and taking care of yourself in this book (it also overlaps with the reading of my other book). What I am getting from both books is that we need to be intentional in what we are doing, but we also need to make time to take care of ourselves and give our bodies rest. We need to do soul care. I love that each chapter ends with a section called "Be Intentional" and it's a way for you to take what you've learned from the chapter and explore it further.

A few more quotes that I found impactful:

"Letting God examine our hearts and motives is good. Blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong is destructive."

"Could your shame be coming from a lie someone once told you or a lie your own inner critic keeps repeating?"

"When you and I are still living in the shame of our past, we will see others-and their actions toward us-through the lens of our wounds. And that can trigger us to respond hurtfully toward them or ourselves."

"You and I must train our ears to listen for the voice of truth and clear direction."

I could go on, I have over twenty tabs in the first half of the book. The bottom line, this book is so much more than a book about loneliness. If you are feeling even a hint of loneliness, I highly recommend it. Even if you are not lonely, but you are feeling disconnected or just want a great nonfiction book to read, I would recommend this one.

Thank you to the author and JustReads for the opportunity to read this book. I was not required to provide a positive review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since 2020, many have felt isolated and alone, lonely even, I know I have. We can feel lonely for many reasons, including busyness, illness, and mistrust. McMenamin addresses these types of loneliness and others in her book The New Loneliness. If you feel lonely, this book may help you discover the reason behind the loneliness and give you steps for overcoming that loneliness.
Each chapter ends with some thought-provoking questions and opportunities to dig into Scripture. There is also a challenge to help readers grow in their relationships with others.
Cindi McMenamin gives many helpful tips for overcoming loneliness.
The New Loneliness is a book worth reading more than once.
I received a complimentary copy of The New Loneliness. This is my honest review.

[niks bookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a heartfelt read for me during the season of life that I am in. I’m currently a postpartum AND pregnant mama (I have a one year old and am 5 months pregnant), so this stage has been quite isolated in some ways. The new loneliness is a beautifully structured read that touches base on how to navigate life if you feel isolated in any way, while truly connecting yourself to our creator, God. I’m really glad to have read this during the time in which I did, as it’s a wonderful resource for myself as a Christian and new mama.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

The New Loneliness by Cindi McMenamin has come at the perfect time. Presently going through some different changes in life and shifting of environment this was encouraging and timely.

I really enjoyed the layout of this book. Broken up into three sections focusing on reconnect with God, your heart, and others was a great focus. Each chapter had questions to go along with and lots of scripture to look up that went with each chapter. Also, a challenge to help you grow. Which is great tool for if you are going through loneliness.

The content was pretty good. I was encouraged and felt like I was not alone in this season of life. I feel that anyone could glean something from this book. With self-help books, I am all about picking up what is useful to me in this season and leaving the stuff that is not as helpful. So, I don’t have anything negative to say, because I left what was not relevant to me on the table for others to gather from.

My focus was not really focused on theological content. I am still working those things out for myself, so as always, there could be things that I don’t see eye to eye on, but I can overlook those minor things for a great harvest.

Some of my favorite parts. I loved when she talked about how she calls her friend Armor Bearer- because she defends, encourages, prays and helps carry what is too heavy to carry alone. I love that description. What a perfect picture of friendship. That we are called to be each other’s armor bearers. But not everyone is qualified for that job. Cindi also touches on different kinds of friends and how in her other book she describes 5 types, but only talks about the 2 important ones-faithful friends and faith-filled friends. Sometimes a person can be both, but not very often, and to hold dear to those that are both. Through it all I was encouraged to self-reflect on myself and see if I am being that for others. I have also been reading the book of Job, which has been the perfect pairing with this book. Lots of reflection and examples to draw from.

*I received a complimentary copy from the author and voluntarily chose to review it. All opinions are my own.

[Monica H (TeaandBooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do you ever feel lonely? I imagine many of us have those moments when we feel lonely from time to time. The New Loneliness by Cindy McMenamin is a book designed to "nurture meaningful connections when you feel isolated."

The New Loneliness is divided into three parts:

The first part is Reconnecting with God. This section focuses on realizing that God is always with you, that He always loves you, and the you are created for a purpose.

The second part is Reconnecting with Your Heart. This section is all about having a better mindset. It encourages the reader not to enter into comparison, to make time and space for friends and not strive for busyness, learning to be yourself and more transparent to others, and learning to love again after you have been hurt by others.

The third section is Reconnecting with Others. This section is encouraging Real Life connections with other people and less on-line connections. The author definitely shows this book is up-to-date for our modern world with statistics and information on connecting on-line versus real-life connections. She also talks about the consequences of living through a pandemic from a social perspective. She then ends this section by talking about how people today need to focus less on themselves and more on others.

The book ends with a focus on being who God made you to be and thinking about the direction you want to take after reading the book. There are also additional resources in the back including a self-assessment test, how to be assured of God's presence, and struggling with anxiety, depression or other mental illness.

All in all, The New Loneliness could be a helpful book if you are first of all a Christian. The book includes Bible study and there are many, many references to God. If you are not a Christian, I don't think the book will be as meaningful for you. Now, having said that, I'm not sure I agree with everything she said but there is a lot of good information in the book. As someone who has been in abusive relationships in the past that has affected my friendships, I do like that she also talks about the importance of boundaries and of not living with toxic actions without speaking up. I especially think that this is an important topic, and while it was mentioned, I think she could have given a little more time to this struggle as I know from talking to people that many people have struggled with boundaries and past trauma. Outside of that, the book is helpful and addresses our world in a way that takes into account modern living including artificial intelligence. For example, she shares a story about a lady whose spouse passed away and she relied on artificial intelligence to be her friend for awhile. I would recommend The New Loneliness to other Christian women who are struggling with loneliness. There are Bible verses and study questions at the end of each chapter too.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher through Just Read Tours. All opinions within this review are my own.

[Emma | meadowroselibrary · Rating 5 out of 5]

"𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘶𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘪𝘮."

Wow, this book was not at all what I thought it'd be! I struggle many times with nonfiction, I guess I'm just picky with it, especially when it comes to someone trying to write encouragement and advice for life. 😅

But this one was just what I needed. 🩷 It was full of so much encouragement and eye-opening thoughts, I'll definitely be reading it again to catch what I'm sure I missed the first time, it just had so much.

It talked a lot about health, which I'm sensitive on due to my own health, but this was so inspiring and really made me think different about it. It was full of reminders that we have to always go to God first before anyone else over matters such as health, and that was a needed reminder.

It also talked about friends a lot, which I'm also very sensitive on, from incidents in my past, and this brought tears to my eyes many times with the gentle reminders that friends are extremely important in life, but to be wise with who you choose, and that we always have the greatest Friend to always put first. 🩷

This was a faith-filled, clean book that I highly recommend, especially if you're needing some encouragement in life. 🩷

*I received a paperback copy for review, all opinions are my own

[Hallie (Hallie Reads)]

in a day and age when so much of life can take place via screens, it's good to have a reminder that we were created to have relationships with God and one another.

the new loneliness explores different ways that we can so easily feel lonely in day-to-day life, as well as different ways to remedy that feeling. every chapter offers relatable stories, biblical support, thought-provoking questions, and an ending challenge, making this book a useful tool for anyone needing to combat loneliness.

i enjoyed that this book held plenty of reminders for me in working on my connections with family, friends, and others around me. especially in the post-holiday slump, loneliness can easily creep in—but i don't have to let it.

for anyone in need of an uplifting, helpful read amidst loneliness, the new loneliness is a good one.

(i received a complimentary copy from the publisher. i was not required to write a positive review, and all the opinions i have expressed are my own.)

[Miss Pippi the Librarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I mainly read fiction books and prefer my nonfiction in audiobook form. (I enjoy the lecture or speaker aspect of learning.) The New Loneliness is very well written! This was a book I enjoyed reading and kept turning to the next page and the next page. I loved how McMenamin took different ways we feel lonely and how we can build connections. We can work on reconnecting with God, reconnecting with yourself, and reconnecting with others. I think the topic of lonliness and isolation is so important to address and give resources to build skills on reconnecting. I've already chatted with coworkers about this books.

Thanks for the book gift, Cindi McMenamin and JustReadTours.
All opinions are my own.

[Hannah Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a world that increasingly emphasizes self-focus, social media, and keeping up with the Joneses, McMenamin delivers a reminder of the importance of meaningful, in-person connections with others. Loneliness is prevalent in our world today, especially following the COVID-19 pandemic, and this book addresses many of the ways people have been affected.

Each chapter offers a lengthy discussion on a facet of loneliness, examples, and ends with a list of scriptures and some reflection questions. I think this book would be especially helpful to someone who has unplugged from Christian community—as has become very common in our culture of livestreaming. It’s just not the same, and McMenamin details exactly why!

It did feel a bit repetitive to me, so I think this book may function better as a reference book—as a reviewer, I needed to read it entirely, so it may be more enjoyable to be able to pick and choose what chapters are relevant to the reader. However, as a whole, this book is packed with a lot of great reminders of the importance of community and connection.

I also struggled a bit with the #MeFirst chapter, personally, not because I’m a proponent of the me first movement, but rather because I felt that McMenamin ignored the importance of loving ourselves. While I agree that pride is certainly a huge issue for all of us, I also think self-esteem issues are largely rooted in struggles with liking oneself, and part of being a healthy, self-aware human—in my opinion—is being aware of and accepting of ourselves. If we cannot first accept ourselves, insecurity will corrode any attempts to truly love others.

That said, I may just be nitpicking on that note, and I still think this is a very helpful book that will be good to come back to through various times in my life as I struggle with different reasons for loneliness. If you’re struggling to make room for God and serve Him, McMenamin offers a variety of reflection activities that I hope will help you engage in your faith more than ever before!

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loneliness has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life. Dealing with a debilitating illness since I was five years old has had me suffering in silence more often than not. I think we’ve all had our times of loneliness, but since the pandemic, these issues have been more and more on the rise. It’s sad to see, and many, myself included, do not know how to dig ourselves out of the mire. That’s where The New Loneliness comes in.

Able to be used as a devotional or as a personal guide, The New Loneliness seeks to help the reader focus on her unique circumstances and get to the root of the matter. It tends to hold up a mirror and allow for deep self-reflection while also bestowing wisdom. I felt seen as I read examples that dealt with what I’m dealing with, and the Scriptures and questions at the end of the chapters are invaluable.

I did feel like it did start to feel repetitive at times and felt I enjoyed it more when I focused on one individual chapter rather than reading it straight through, but that’s my only complaint. Community is important, and in our society of social media and screens, it’s easy to seek connection through our phones rather than personal relationships. This book is a wonderful reminder of just how important connections with God and others are. I knew this would be a harder book for me, seeing as how loneliness is one of my biggest struggles, but this book has been a treasure that I know I will reference for years to come.

*I have voluntarily reviewed a copy of this book which I received from the author/publisher through JustRead Tours. All views and opinions expressed are completely honest, and my own.

[Kendra Neal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christian Non-Fiction and Self Help books are a genre that I really cherish. I feel that they help me grow in my faith. The New Loneliness by Cindi McMenamin is the latest in this genre that I have read.

I really felt compelled to read this book because it really touches a topic that is in need of being discussed. I have known so many who are in the stages of Loneliness of life. God did not design us to live a life of Loneliness, especially lonely for the LOVE of GOD. God will always lift us up and give us encouragement, we have to want to be uplifted by God. The World that we live in really encourages us to isolate ourselves with Technology and so much more. The isolation of being focused on our phones and other devices has created a feeling of being lonely which furthers the depths of Anxiety and Depression.

I really enjoyed this book and the encouragement throughout the book. The layout of the book is amazing. Each chapter discusses different phases of loneliness, has a tremendous amount of Scripture and real life stories associated with the chapter discussion, and has a section for reflection. I really think this book would make a GREAT Group Study or Bible Study. Reading the book with others will help us apply the principles and advice in this book. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is going through LONELY stages of Life! GREAT BOOK!

[Valerie HappiestWhileReading · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can appreciate the concept of The New Loneliness by Cindy McMenamin. The author provides a faith-based framework to combat the loneliness epidemic caused by several factors including social media and necessary lockdowns during the pandemic. In each of 10 chapters, Ms. McMenamin shares her opinions, information from other sources, and Bible verses, journaling questions, and challenges to help the readers grow.

I have very different opinions on each section of this book. Information in Part 3: Reconnecting with Others was mostly helpful, I feel neutral about Part 2: Reconnecting with Your Heart, but I strongly object to the material in Part 1: Reconnecting with God. It's the author's premise that if an individual's faith in God is strong enough, they won't be lonely, they won't have anxiety, and they won't suffer from depression. This line of thought is flawed and dangerous, and I'll speak out whenever I encounter it. My close family member was badly wounded by this mentality forced on her by "well intended" individuals, which worsened anxiety and depression to debilitating levels.

Also, the author's use of male pronouns for God throughout this book was off-putting. As I've shared in other reviews, my God is vast and above gender images and constraints.

I was provided a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes; all opinions are my own.

[Wren · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this marvelous book, Cindi discusses how we can disengage ourselves from the lonely habits we’ve inadvertently fallen into. In sections (Reconnecting with God, Reconnecting with Your Heart, Reconnecting with Others) which include numerous idea chapters, she delves into what this can look like in various ways. There are Bible study/reference sections plus personal intention plans.

Something wonderful about The New Loneliness is that Cindi doesn’t just talk about all the ways that stress and loneliness fill our lives. Instead, she integrates Biblical truths which can turn loneliness and its pain and emptiness with love, friendship, and relationship with others and with God! This book is so impactful and offers ways that we can truly change our lives, and the habits which have impacted us negatively. This is a don't miss book for 2025!

I received a copy of this book from the author. All opinions shared here are my own honest ones.

[Tracy Fritts · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you ever felt lonely or struggle with loneliness this is the book for you. This book is filled with comfort, encouragement, and wisdom.
This book will give you wisdom and point out problems to loneliness and how to help you with it. This book will help you have a stronger relationship with God.
I like the testimony from different women, the Biblical insights and the authors own stories. This book is heartfelt for me cause I have dealt with loneliness all my life since my children have moved out I have felt even more lonely than I have before.
I would also keep a bible handy to look up surpicture if you need to
I received a copy of this book from the publisher through Just Read Tours. All opinions within this review are my own.

[Amanda H · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and the practical help that it gives to readers! As technology becomes a bigger part of our lives, it can be hard to cultivate meaningful relationships outside of social apps. I thought that the author did a wonderful job of breaking things down, so readers can apply the book to their unique situations. Firmly grounded in the Scriptures, this book is an excellent resource on connecting with others!
I received this book from Just Read. This is my honest review.

[Katerina · Rating 5 out of 5]

With smartphones and everything delivered to one's door, people can become more isolated than they ever have. The author explores how people being social creatures, loneliness and lack of connections is not how humans are intended to live.

For anyone striving to make sense of how to break up with the phone and re-enter the real world

[Ali · Rating 2 out of 5]

{2.75⭐️} This book wasn’t really about loneliness, and I wanted more depth than I got. The book talked about shame, loss, anxiety, and other similar topics, but didn’t relate these back to loneliness aside from a sentence or two connecting the ideas. In general, the information presented was more surface level. Imo, the author focuses too much on the dangers of technology without sharing a new perspective on what we already know to be true.

The author briefly mentions the 2020 pandemic’s impact on loneliness and our ability/desire to engage with others, and I wish she had written more on this. I also wish there had been more practical advice and strategies for combating loneliness.

The book struggled with logic/structure in places. There were many confusing, run-on sentences, and a couple instances where the author said she would talk about a certain topic, but the information following that statement didn’t actually relate to the stated topic. The author’s opinions on certain non-doctrinal things (like online dating) seemed to change based on which part of the book you were reading- likely just an issue of the writing style, but I did notice it a few times.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

✝️ FOR YOUR BIBLE STUDY: Each chapter ends with verses to look up and questions to answer. The questions are designed for self-reflection, but could easily be used for group discussion. I feel like this book would be a good fit for newer Christians.