First Love: Guiding Teens through Relationships and Heartbreak

by Lisa A. Phillips

A critical resource for parents to help their teens through the perplexing world of love and heartbreak.



Today’s young people are beginning their love lives in a time of rapidly changing ideas and ideals about identity, commitment, sexuality, and consent. For parents, the new realities of teenage relationships can be both mystifying and daunting.



In First Guiding Teens through Relationships and Heartbreak, Lisa A. Phillipschronicles the challenges today’s adolescents face as they navigate crushes, dating, and breakups—and the challenges adults face as they strive to provide guidance and support. Phillips sheds light on how the relationships teens have today are different from their parents’ generation, including their reliance on technology and social media, the rise of young people identifying as LGBTQ+, high rates of depression and anxiety, and consent consciousness. She provides concrete strategies and insights from experts and teens themselves on ways parents and other adults can help young people cope with the timeless issues of love and heartbreak.



Told from the perspective of a professor, mother, and award-winning journalist, First Love is a critical resource for parents, educators, mental health professionals, and others who want to understand the new realities of teen relationships—and help teens become caring, self-aware, and thriving young adults.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help

280 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 4, 2025

Reviews

[Brittany Medina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most books of this nature- sometimes repetitive and long winded. Had some good nuggets. As a mom raising a teenage daughter and a teenage son coming on deck- it offered some insight to their generation and if nothing else helped me feel like I am not alone in this new parenting world.

[Erika DeVries · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to be an early reader of First Love. I adored this book and read it with great interest. I found First Love to be illuminating way beyond just parenting and guiding others, for me it was personally helpful & insightful as well. I have recommended the book to several other parents of young adults & look forward to its release to add to my books to gift. If you are interested in relationships romantic or otherwise I highly recommend First Love.

[Julia Indichova · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to get my hands on this book as an early reader and here’s what I came away with:

For anyone raising teens, preteens, preschoolers, or toddlers—it’ s never too early to prepare for the whirlwind of adolescent angst—this is essential reading. But you don’t have to be a parent to find it eminently helpful. Whether you’re navigating the maze of today’s social trends or if you’re still recovering from your own nerdy teen years, it’s a book that offers something to everyone.

What makes it truly stand out is the chorus of voices we get to hear. From parents and children to professionals, the book weaves together a tapestry of perspectives—without a trace of dogma—making the trials and triumphs of growing up easily relatable.

As a college professor, the author has a front-row seat to the emotional storms of adolescence. And she blends these diverse stories with her research and personal reflections on raising her daughter. The result is a narrative that is as scholarly as it is profoundly empathetic.

It’s one of those books that’ll come up in conversations about so many seemingly unrelated “in the news” stories that you’ll find yourself recommending it over and over again.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explores how parents can support their teenagers through experiences like first crushes, breakups, and young love. It emphasizes the importance of validating teens’ feelings and offers practical strategies to help them heal, such as setting social media boundaries and finding healthy distractions. The book also addresses the challenges parents face, both personally and in their parenting roles, as they strive to support their children during these emotional times. It provides insights into the science behind heartbreak and the addictive nature of romantic love.

The author combines personal narratives with interviews from young people and experts, shedding light on how first loves can significantly influence personal growth and future relationships. She underscores the importance of open communication between adults and adolescents, advocating for discussions acknowledging and respecting teens' experiences and emotions. This book is an essential resource that bridges generational gaps, offering a compassionate roadmap for understanding and supporting teens as they navigate the joys and challenges of early romantic relationships.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbymedia.com/blogs/transcri...

[Samantha Naranjo · Rating 4 out of 5]

While reading First Love, I could see how much effort the Author put into making the book. The book itself really helps you realize what you want in a relationship and how to nurture it. The book even gives parents counseling on how to handle any relationship and how to help instead of having negative thoughts about it. I would really recommend this to any teen or parents of teens, as it really shows the perspective of both sides and how it can affect both the parent and the teen. While the book is not part of a series, it would be awesome if the author did make it into a series, and not only talk about teen love but also how hard it is to find love as an adult. The book included many stories, which made the book feel alive and more realistic. While the book can get a little boring, it made me want to turn more pages and read all the stories that the author had written in the book. The book is very emotional and can get sad, but it explains the story really well. Something I didn't like about the book was that the chapters were ridiculously long, but overall, this book deserves a 4.5/5

[Jacqueline Marino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lisa Phillips has produced a remarkable work, one that weaves solid research and expert opinion with the lived experiences of young people and their parents. Love is, well, love, and always will be. But Phillips gives us parents new lenses through which to observe how romantic relationships have changed in the era of dating apps and evolving views of consent and sexual identity. Phillips, a professor who teaches a class called Love & Heartbreak, has been a student of her students for a long time. I frequently had to stop reading in order to reflect on her insights, including “Relationships are mini-labs of ethics and responsibility.” I did learn a few things about how to parent my teenagers through their first loves—and I expected that. But the surprise of this book, for me, has been the way it encouraged me to think through my own first love and heartbreak, so many years ago. These are foundational experiences, Lisa reminds us, and they explain how we show up (or don't) for our teens.

[Gregg Bray · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible and necessary book for parents of teens, teens, or anyone navigating themselves or loved ones through first love--and oftentimes, first heartbreak. The stories are told with journalistic insights, compassion, and care. It's a beautiful work, told with a steadfast voice, who reminds us that early relationships and heartbreaks do have a lasting effect, and that teens need their parents/caregivers to have open and respectful communication about their feelings. A terrific and engaging read!

[Zach DuFran · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very well-researched and structured book on an important topic that I feel is not discussed enough for modern parents. Most of the books I’ve read about parenting have focused on the early years. These teenage years are so important and navigating the realities of the on line generation is so different from when I was a teenager. I’m so glad I caught an interview of this author on NPR and checked out a copy of this book. I’ll either need to check it out again or purchase a copy so I can underline and take notes.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounded up. A mix of anecdotes and scientific research regarding love and adolescence. I'm not exactly the target audience for this book, but I thought it was a very sympathetic look at the factors that can make love complicated for teenagers. I was especially impressed by the nuance in the conversations surrounding teen dating and its interactions with mental health (struggling with it and being the partner of someone struggling with it), queer dating (especially while not out to parents), and the fear of children repeating the dating mistakes of their parents.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

When your child starts dating, it can feel like a surprise punch in the face. This book helps lessen the blow. An important and enjoyable read for any parent dealing with this new stage of parenting. Phillips reminds us that this time is awkward, frustrating, beautiful, confusing, and ultimately, an important part of the child / parent relationship.