Отражения нашего дома

by Deeba Zargarpur

- История о призраках прошлого, преследующих семью иммигрантов афгано-узбекского происхождения
- Лиричное повествование, с которым не хочется расставаться
- Роман с элементами паранормального на грани мистики и реальности

О чем

У пятнадцатилетней Сары сложный период: родители разъехались, бабушке диагностировали деменцию, а ссора с лучшим другом затянулась уже на полтора года. Только работа в семейном бизнесе по реставрации старых особняков помогает ей отвлечься от проблем. Один из таких домов особенно привлекает внимание Сары. Она уверена, что это место связано с ее семьей, оно хранит какую-то мрачную тайну, но никто из близких не воспринимае

Genres: Young Adult, Fantasy, Contemporary, Paranormal, Horror, Audiobook, Fiction

284 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 29, 2022

About the author

DEEBA ZARGARPUR is an Afghan-Uzbek American. She credits her love of literature across various languages to her immigrant parents, whose eerie tales haunted her well into the night. If given the choice, Deeba would spend her days getting lost in spooky towns with nothing but a notebook and eye for adventure to guide her.

Her debut YA novel, House of Yesterday, releases from FSG BYR in Fall 2022.

Her debut MG novel, Farrah Noorzad and the Ring of Fate, releases from Labyrinth Road in Summer 2023.

Reviews

[tahaslibrary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book well into the AM hours and spent most of that time spontaneously breaking into tears. The main character Sara is a 15 year old girl growing up with her large Uzbek-Afghan family in America. She's got an amazing and loving family so all's well right? HAHAHAHA you thought.

This is an immigrant family with years of inter-generational trauma - we're not leaving this story scar-free! Her parents are separated (welp), her beautiful grandmother is ill (i'm still crying), she hasn't talked to her best friend in a year (covid vibes) and there's this crusty old house her mom is redeveloping that has decided to haunt her (a normal Tuesday for us depressed girls).

The house and its associated ghosts take Sara for a joyride on the highway of family lies, suffering, reflecting on grief and suffering and closure. The author found a way to maintain the spooky factor of this story with all the pain of life in between. I was equal parts crying and also making sure I wasn't seeing any shadows in my room.

I love books that depict real family relationships - the good, the bad, the confusing. Sara has nine aunts, one uncle, all their spouses, and their army of kids. Her interactions with her grandmother, her khalas, and her cousins just made the grief and love in this story that much more real.

The best part is that with the pain, with the tears, comes the healing. There is so much hope and a reminder that love is powerful and that your relationships and reliance on friends and family can change your life for the better.

This story will haunt me for a while and then some.

I guarantee you'll see a part of yourself in this story and it will hurt but it will heal you a little too.

(Also, Sara may be forgiving but I don't have to be and I'll fight her dad anyday.)

[Fanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

inter-generational magic-infused contemporary ya about an afghan-uzbek immigrant family's past. someone started cutting onions next to me while i was reading this. basically, this debut is spooky and sentimental. rtc.

[Deeba Zargarpur · Rating 5 out of 5]

07.06.2022: E-galleys are officially up on NetGalley and Edelweiss. :) As a note, the e-galleys are uncorrected (and I've already made updates to the text for final), but I'm overall really proud of this spooky little book (it is VERY spooky, perhaps a teensy bit gothic). Now I'm going back to pretending no one can read it!

06.18.2021: This book is honestly the book of my heart. I started writing this in a notebook, just for myself, not knowing one day, this eerie and lyrical story would be in the hands of readers. It would mean everything to me if you added to your TBR! House of Yesterday is a story for anyone, who like me, wishes the past could stay for just a moment longer. <3

[Kaley]

THIS COVER IS THE MOST GORGEOUS THING IVE EVER SEEN. THAT IS ALL. I CANT STOP STARING AT IT.

[akacya ❦ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary review copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This did not affect my rating.

Sara’s life is falling apart. Her parents’ divorce is looming, her Bibi Jan struggles to remember who people are, and a secret that changes everything Sara knows about her family bubbles up. As Sara helps work on her mother’s latest home renovation, she realizes that the house holds these family secrets she so desperately craves to know, which keeps her coming back for more.

This story is one that’s hard to put down. I read it in two sittings, but the only reason I took a break was for work. There’s family drama going on both in the present and the past and Sara isn’t sure what to think anymore. As Sara got sucked into the story of her family, so did I, even through the uglier parts.

This story is set in the summer, and while I’d recommend this book for any time of the year, I’d definitely be interested in rereading during the summer for that atmosphere!

[Renee Godding · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actual rating: 4.5/5 stars

"She held on as long as she could, and as years rolled by and the story became fragmented or lost in Bibi’s recollections, a sister would jump in. And without knowing it, the torch had been passed to the point where Bibi Jan had begun to fade into the background and listened to the story of her life. Her grand, beautiful, selfless life. Except, the grandmother you grew up with is not the same mother I grew up with."

Such a strong debut. Full review to come.

[Jovana (NovelOnMyMind)]

DNF

There was nothing exactly wrong with this book, but there was also nothing to make me want to pick it up again.

I'm sure House of Yesterday will have its readers, and based on other people's reviews I’d say there's a good chance it's pretty good. I might even decide to finish it as some point. So if you planned to give it a try, please don't let my review stop you.

I'm just trying to be more strict with DNF-ing. There are too many books I want to read and I can't waste any more time on books that are ok to me but not as thrilling and engaging as some others. But that is 100% personal preference - honestly, objectively the beginning wasn't bad at all and I’m sure I’d find many more things to appreciate if I continued.

A huge thank you to RB Media and NetGalley for providing me with an audio ARC of House of Yesterday Deeba Zargarpur in exchange for an honest review.

[mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Format: audiobook ~ Narrator: Ariana Delawari
Content: 4 stars ~ Narration: 5 stars
Complete audiobook review

Fifteen-year-old Sara can’t accept her parents’ divorce, and her beloved grandma Bibi Jan is gradually losing her memory.

Sara’s extended family is large. She is from an Afghan-Uzbek family. Bibi Jan had eleven children, ten daughters and one son. Sara's grandparents came to America in search of a better life for themselves and their children. Sara is trying to collect the stories of her family to find a missing piece of the puzzle.

House of Yesterday is a very nice contemporary YA fiction with bits of magical realism. The narration is excellent.

Thanks to Recorded Books for the ALC and this opportunity! This is a voluntary review and all opinions are my own.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

House of yesterday is a story of a fifteen year old whose parents are going through a divorce and she is losing her grandmother to dementia. But she comes upon her grandmother’s memories from the past and that changes how she sees everything.

This was such a beautiful book. I lost my grandmother at the same age Sara is in this book. Back then I didn’t want to hear her stories about growing up, but now I would give anything for that.

I started this book slowly because I know very little of the Muslim or Afghan-Uzbek heritage and I wanted to make sure I picked up on all of that. But once I got past the first couple chapters I couldn’t stop myself & I ended up reading the whole thing in a day.

I do have to warn you that tissues are needed for this book, both while you’re reading it & after you’ve finished.

This book needs to be on every high school reading list because there is so much to that teens today can take from it.

5/5 stars, truly an amazing book.

Thank you NetGalley and BooksForward for the chance to review this book.

[Toya (thereadingchemist) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a powerful coming of age story that addresses divorce, family trauma, dementia, and immigration with a supernatural spin.

[Patty (IheartYA311) · Rating 2 out of 5]

The cover really drew me in, but that's where my excitement stopped. I wanted to like this story so much more than I did. I had a hard time connecting with the character. First person POV always throws me off, and although I know it could not have been written in third person, the POV just didn't jive. The writing was plain, overall boring. An easy enough read but nothing close to spectacular.

[Shifa Safadi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book on the ghosts of the past and how they can affect the future.

Genre: Speculative/Contemporary Fiction
Ages: YA (15 +)
Author: @deebazargarpur
Publisher: @macmillanusa
Available: preorder before the November 29 2022 release date!!

Screening: a few minor cuss words, but I would consider it clean!

Sara Khan is a teenager of Uzbek-Afghan heritage living in America. When her grandmother Bibi starts to forget those around her due to dementia, Sara starts to mourn the relationship she once had with her. Add onto it her parents divorce and Sara’s own role in it, Sara feels like her life is unraveling. She shuts out her best friend Sam, her cousins, her parents, and even her own emotions. But during a visit to a house her mother is flipping, Sara comes upon the ghost of her grandmother, and in trying to figure out the stories of the past, Sara might get so sucked in that she will forget the present and future.

I was really sucked in the story and wanted to finish the book in one sitting!

This book is written from the heart, and I could feel the emotions as I read. As a child of immigrants myself, I understood the character’s struggles of fitting in, of trying to remember her heritage and find her way in the world.

I am really intrigued to read a story with a Muslim main character of Afghan-Uzbek heritage, and I always appreciate seeing more diversity in Muslim stories!

I loved the little touches of culture and Islam in the book and they all shaped the characters life, and were a part of her identity. I loved the wholesome family feel and the loving nature of everyone in Sara’s life and how they were supportive of her healing process.

I think it is also super important to read stories on divorce and how it can affect children and teens, and I was glad Sara found her way through it and was able to reach a place of healing.

I enjoyed the eerie ghost parts (reminded me of coraline a bit), and honestly I love when books blur that line between contemporary and fantasy!

By the end, readers feel that preserving the stories of the past is important but it is also important to be able to move on to improve the future❤️

ALSO THIS COVER🔥😍😍

[Sacha · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

Sara, the m.c. of this heartrending YA contemporary novel, is facing some really challenging personal circumstances at a young age. Her parents' divorce is not amicable, and the circumstances leading up to it - as well as the current situation and unknown future - are constantly on her mind. Anyone who has lived through a divorce at that age will be able to easily connect with the uncertainty, upheaval, and feelings of guilt that come along with parents behaving...differently. On top of this pivotal event, Bibi Jan, Sara's grandmother, is not the reliable pillar of strength she once was, thanks to her declining mental state. Anyone who has experienced the decline of a loved one will also connect to the many painful details of this aspect.

This is a challenging read because the content is so dark and - for a reader like me - very relatable. This is also the reason I'll be recommending it to students. Zargarpur really captures the feelings associated with these all-too-common experiences, and I think many readers - young adult and adults alike - will deeply connect with and benefit from Sara's encounters and articulations.

One of my favorite aspects of this piece is how invested Sara gets in Bibi Jan's past. Spending time with older generations so often helps us uncover details and experiences we not only never knew of but also cannot imagine. It's so interesting to see how Sara approaches this information and how it consumes her and changes her understanding of her family. This is another really relatable aspect of this novel that I know I appreciated.

So many readers will be able to use Sara's story to better understand their own. I look forward to recommending this to students with appropriate warnings.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and RB Media for this audio arc, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

[Ladz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to a NetGalley AudioARC
Content warning: intergenerational trauma, domestic violence, divorce, blood, vehicular manslaughter

Fifteen-year-old Sara is really going through it between her parents’ impending divorce, her Bibi Jan’s dementia, and the house her mother is flipping that is unequivocally haunted by a ghost which may be a part of Sara’s past. Family secrets and a truth hidden for generations come together in this contemporary fiction that’s as much about community within an immigrant family as it is about Sara’s personal coming of age.

If you’re looking for a YA book with a younger protagonist and no romance arc that’s as heart-wrenching as it is spooky, you are in for a treat. Definitely among the best books I’ve read this year.

Zargarpur pulls off something incredible with this work. At the highest level, it’s a compelling story about family. But it’s also a compelling tale of a family, but also weaves a ghost story that is a delight for all fans of that horror genre subgenre. That being said, however, I would not consider this book a horror. The focus is definitely more on the interpersonal rather than instilling fear. It’s spooky, but melancholic in a way that feels true to life. Sara’s interactions with Malika, specifically the flashbacks, nearly brought me to tears.

I loved Sara as a narrator. She’s thorny, she has a deep inner world, and she is intricately connected to those around her. While this is definitely her story, she’s not the central focus. The way the plot does not let Sara off the hook for being selfish in a way that seems archetypical of young adult protagonists really works. This is a story about family, not just in the past tense but in the present as well. There are immediate wounds that need healing, such as the rift between Sara and each of her parents, but also the things Bibi Jan kept that are falling through the cracks of her own fractured memory.

There is also a sense of respect for all the women in Sara’s life. It’s unspoken that there is no right way to be a mother or a woman in this work, and I think it’ll resonate with other readers as well. The complexity is astounding, especially given that love leaps off the page with all its thorns and tenderness.

An absolutely gorgeous ghost story that’s also about familial love and community that I cannot recommend enough.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an advance copy from the publisher via Netgalley for review purposes; this in no way influences my review.

Content notes:

- Reference to pandemic
- Panic attack
- Dementia
- Casual ableism (idiot, crazy)
- Past toxic home environment
- Possible past suicide
- Past child death, mention

In the acknowledgments, Deeba likens writing this book to a fever dream, and reading it feels the same. This is an intense yet quiet story about family secrets and who we are without memories of who we were. This feels like an exploration of the pieces that create a person, and how memory is fallible. Honestly, reading this feels almost like a dream where holding onto solid details is difficult but the feeling remains. I don’t really have coherent thoughts, but I think I enjoyed this book. I definitely had trouble putting it down because I needed to know what happened to Malika and the other secrets hiding in the Amani family. This is a spooky yet compelling story that I’m glad exists and I look forward to seeing what Deeba will write in the future.

[Kirin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5
While reading this 320 page YA supernatural/contemporary book-I couldn't turn the pages fast enough.  When finished- I was bothered that certain threads weren't resolved, now that I've ruminated a bit- I think the vagueness of the author's prose in sharing her "fever dream" on paper has lingered and the gaps not as troublesome.  The author's OWN voice Afghan-Uzbek Muslim identity adds layers to a story that is both haunting in the literal sense and familiar in the immigration inter-generational traumas and secrets shared.  Even deeper though, the book pokes at universal themes of regret, holding on to the past, family, friendships, and grief.   The book's characters identify as Muslim, but the story is not Islamic, nor is there much religion save a few salams and mentions of Eid.  The supernatural elements in the book, whether you understand it to be ghosts, or personified memories, or jinn, are a large part of the book, but are not framed in a belief or spiritual manner, and while some may find it Islamically off-putting, I felt the book explored what the main character was enduring and what the weight of the past was doing to her, didn't necessarily cross the haram line.  Her father has a girlfriend he is looking to marry, but it isn't celebrated, and there are close male/female friendships, but the book is relatively clean for the genre and would be a good fit for high school readers and up.

SYNOPSIS:

Summer on Long Island has Sara retreating into herself.  Surrounded by nearly a dozen aunts and uncles and numerous cousins, it is the separation of her parents and trouble with her best friend that makes getting out of bed every morning a challenge.  As a result, her mother ropes her in to helping with her latest remodeling project.  When she enters an old crumbling house one morning to take "before" pictures, she starts seeing things, and feeling things.  Things about her past.  Things about her beloved grandma, Bibi Jan, who is alive and deteriorating from dementia.  What is the house trying to tell her? Why won't anyone tell the truth?

WHY I LIKE IT:

I love the mystery and the chills of the story.  As the reader you aren't entirely sure where the story is headed, what you are to do with the bits of the puzzle you are given, but the intrigue to find out pulls you forward.  That being said, the book does reads debut, a few of the side story lines are not fleshed out enough to feel important, satisfying, or resolved and they come across as being abandoned.  I would have liked to see more of Sara and her father's relationship, the details don't seem to fit, and the continuity seems halfhearted.  At times so does the "night" it all changed with Sam.  I like the interpretive vagueness of the supernatural threads and that they are up for interpretation amongst readers not just at the end, but throughout the book.  I also like the family's closeness even when they are disagreeing. For most of the book Sara and her cousins aren't portrayed as particularly close and I didn't invest time to differentiate one from another, but by the end, I felt that they were grounded and different and relatable, and I am not sure when that change occurred.  At times the writing seemed a bit repetitive, but the lyrical style would then catapult the story ahead.  There was one place that the fourth wall was broken though, and I was bothered by that slip.

Overall I loved that the Uzben Afghan culture sprinkles showed immigrant nuances, and that the love between the generations countered the trauma being shared as well.  The messaging is subtle but powerful long after the last page has been read. 

FLAGS:

For the most part the book stays clean, the father has moved on and has met someone he would like to marry, the mom and aunts briefly recall sneaking out to attend a prom decades earlier.  There is mention of a child bride, and swimsuits, tank tops, and cocktail dresses being worn with no second thought.  For a YA book, the flags are incredibly minimal, save the "ghosts"(?). There are flags of a death that is detailed, the book is "spooky" at times, there is mental health, divorce, pain, dementia, abandonment, theft, running away, and fear.

TOOLS FOR LEADING THE DISCUSSION:

I would love to read this book with some high schoolers.  It is a quick read that would allow for a lot of self reflection, arguments, and entertainment.  The book is available here and releases in a few days, so if planning to purchase, please consider preordering and showing your support.

[Zadie]

I don't even know what to think

[Nora]

I listened to the audiobook for House of Yesterday, and for someone like me who hates not understanding names perfectly, it was a very dumb choice. The main character has many aunts and family members, whose names I wanted to get right, so as soon as the book came out I got an ebook so I could check everything and make a family tree. The voice narrator was very good though! I’m just a little psycho.
This was a nice book and I appreciated the uniqueness of it, having never read about an Uzbek-Afghan character before. Overall I really enjoyed it and found myself engrossed in the story during the climax. But there were a few plot points that I’m not sure I fully understood and that confused me a little bit, spoiling part of the experience for me.

This tells the story of Sara, a young girl whose (large) family immigrated from Afghanistan in the 1980s to escape the civil war. She lives with her mother and grandmother, who she’s really close to, but who unfortunately has dementia and has to be taken care of constantly. Her parents are also in the middle of a nasty separation that is really hard on Sara. One day, while working on renovating a house for her mother’s business, she sees a strange vision of a little girl who seems to want to show her something, and she dives into her family’s, and more specifically her grandmother’s history to figure out what it is.
Technically, this book if a fantasy because Sara literally has visions of the past showed to her by a haunted house. But I think it was more of an excuse to explore themes of family and generational trauma, as well as reconciling with your heritage. Like I said, the main character’s parents are also going through a divorce and the book makes it clear that their very toxic marriage is totally normalised in their daughter’s mind. She expects every relationship in her life to follow that pattern, which plays a huge part in her world view and greatly affects her own relationships with everyone around her, and of course the story is also about how she’s going to overcome that and evolve as a person.

This is very much a character-focused novel, so let me tell you a bit more about each of them.

Sara (her full name is Sara Jan, she was named after her Bibi – her grandmother) is a frankly lonely 16 or 17 years old teenager who is clearly angry at everything and everyone, but mostly her parents. She blames them for their separation, and doesn’t understand why they haven’t gotten back together after their latest fight like they usually do (she calls it “their dance”). She shows symptoms of anxiety as well as anger management issues, I think? She’s just very confused and lonely and sad, and feels like her family structure is disintegrating (her parents, but also her Bibi who is losing her memory and doesn’t remember her children and grandchildren most of the time). To be honest, at first I thought she was a brat and I was shocked at how disrespectful she was being to her parents. As a child of divorce myself (a bad one), I wasn’t trying to deny her anger and sadness, but couldn’t help thinking that she was overreacting just a TINY BIT. But after a few flashbacks explaining the nature of their relationship and how this has affected Sara ever since she was a little girl, literally escalating to physical violence, I could understand a bit more where she was coming from. Sara is also distressed by her Bibi’s dementia, because she feels like she’s losing her grandmother and the connexion they used to have was very strong. Through her journey to understanding what happened to her grandmother when she first came to the US, she also learns a lot about herself and her resentment and makes a lot of efforts to learn how to process her feelings in a healthier way than shutting down everyone around her. In the end, even though it’s clear Sara still has a long way to go and isn’t fully over her traumas yet (it’s not mentioned in the book but she should definitely get therapy), you can see that she’s found some sort of inner peace and is on the right path, so overall I’d say she had a pretty good character development.

Sara’s most important family members are of course her parents, who I’ve already talked about a little. I get that they didn’t know how to communicate with their daughter anymore, but they were honestly doing a pretty bad job at trying to fix the mess they created in her because of their own behaviours as a couple. I felt like they were so focused on their own lives and problems that they didn’t really pay attention to Sara and failed to see how terrible she was doing. They were mostly telling her to toughen up and pull herself together – which honestly sounds true to the brown immigrant parents experience. Her mother does acknowledge that at the end and shows signs of trying to do better, but I don’t think I remember seeing it in her father.
Then we have Sara’s Bibi, her dearest grandmother, who is both very present and absent in the story. She’s obviously a key to the family’s secrets Sara is trying to uncover, but her present self is such a shadow of who she used to be that even as a reader, you can feel Sara’s pain in slowly losing her, and understand wanting to honour her memory by telling her story. The scenes where we read about past Bibi though, she was such a fierce and unapologetic person, but also so wistful and powerless in a lot of moments in her life.
Everyone else in Sara’s family – her numerous aunts and cousins – also appear in the story, and they were nice additions. You can really feel the sisterly love between her mother and all her aunts, and I loved how close they all were, it reminded me of my own family. Sara’s cousins who are around her age are all friends which each other and her relationship with them felt really genuine, in the sense that they bickered all the time and would sometimes say hurtful things, but in the end they all had each other’s back and showed up as emotional and physical support when necessary.

The only character I haven’t mentioned yet is the neighbour / ex best-friend / pseudo love interest, which doesn’t sound like me because I love talking about characters like this. But Sam was really a totally separate presence in the story: he’s the only one who isn’t part of Sara’s family and hence affected by her little digging, but he was still there ALL. THE. TIME for our girl. I was pleasantly surprised and impressed to see a teenage male character written this way. He was close to his emotions and expressed them freely, without shame, and Sara was actually the closed off one denying her feelings. No matter how many times she shut him down, he kept insisting and trying to reach out to her. At the beginning, we only know that they used to be very close and then had a falling out during one fateful night.
I actually thought it was very interesting how Sara mimicked her parents’ toxic relationship, playing their “dance” and going back and forth between being together or not, and applied it to her own relationship with Sam. She kept pushing him away and expecting him to always come back and for them to play this game over and over again. But eventually Sam breaks that cycle, and thanks to Sara’s aforementioned character development throughout the book, they manage to sort out their issues and their past. I think their relationship can be read as either platonic or romantic, and since I’m a lover of love I chose the later haha. And even though they don’t end up together at the end, I chose to believe that it was only a matter of time and that they eventually would once Sara had had a bit more time to reflect on everything and work on herself.

I don’t want to spoil the story itself too much, but like I said, I think it was mostly about family and what it means and how we can maintain our bonds even after memories fade. It was nice, albeit a bit predictable, and the pacing was pretty fast so I was never bored.
However, it did have some trouble understanding the way the house itself worked. It basically releases memories trapped inside it for Sara to see and figure out the truth of her family’s heritage. But I wasn’t sure how or when these were triggered, and there was also a consequence to that, because Sara had to give some of her own or her family’s memories in return, which they then FORGOT, as well as physical trinkets (at some points she gives a necklace and then it’s never seen again?). Sara was also able to communicate with the people in the past memories, and have conversations with them, so possibly changing the course of events? and that contradicts every see-the-past power limits I’ve ever read about which was incredibly confusing.
So yeah, as we know I prefer hard magic systems so casual things like these kinda fuck with my brain because I keep trying to understand the rules lmao.

The book ends on a nice and hopeful note, but I was left a bit hungry for more and wish it had a dozen extra pages or so to develop the ending.
TWs: child marriage, domestic violence, death of a child, parental abandonment, anexiety
Thank you to NetGalley and RB Media for providing an audiobook ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Angela Y (yangelareads) ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Copy provided by RB Media.

Struggling to deal with the pain of her parents’ impending divorce, fifteen-year-old Sara is facing a world of unknowns and uncertainties. Unfortunately, the one person she could always lean on when things got hard, her beloved Bibi Jan, has become a mere echo of the grandmother she once was. And so Sara retreats into the family business, hoping a summer working on her mom’s latest home renovation project will provide a distraction from her fracturing world.

But the house holds more than plaster and stone. It holds secrets that have her clinging desperately to the memories of her old life. Secrets that only her Bibi Jan could have untangled. Secrets Sara is powerless to ignore as the dark truths of her family’s history rise in ghostly apparitions -- and with it, the realization that as much as she wants to hold onto her old life, nothing will ever be the same.

The writing truly was beautiful, the writer does has such potential. This story was just not enough to accompany the writing. It was strange, to say the least,and at some parts it just did not make sense. I could not grasp what the author was trying to say until the end. This book should have either been a coming of age for Sara figuring out how to go on in this new reality with her parent's divorce, or a historical deep dive into her family's secretive history. The book was neither of these things but tried to be both and just became too hectic and disjointed. This book was still pretty good overall for a debut.

[gauri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really cool speculative contemporary aspect, especially as it shows how the past generations continue to affect the future ones and what it means to hold on to that history. I did have trouble connecting with the story as it felt disjointed at times and didn't evoke the emotions it was supposed to in me.

thank you to macmillan and netgalley for the ARC!

[Claire Wesson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoiler-free review.

Easily one of the best new releases I’ve read in a while. I read the entire thing in one sitting (something I haven’t done in years).

The main character – Sara – was a particular highlight. A rebellious teenager who feels guilty over her instincts to push back against her family’s tight-lipped ways, Sara struggles to find the pieces of herself that remain in the fallout of everything that’s happened through her family’s history.

The intricate way that her family’s true story weaves into the fairy tale they’ve passed down through the generation had me in tears at several points. Her unwavering tenacity as she tries to piece together the truth of what really happened to her Bibi Jan decades earlier had me glued to the pages.

The way her family pushes back against her attempts to uncover the truth they didn’t know existed… it was certainly something that I feel will be incredibly relatable to a lot of people from similar families.

I loved the way that Zargarpur used fairytale structures to delineate the stories from each generation and how it made things seem fantastical.

I loved how you could feel that – despite the hurt and the walls Sara puts up – she desperately loves her family. The way she lashed out at them when she was frustrated felt very true to the teenage experience, especially when she uses it as a defense from having to think about difficult things.

There is cultural life breathed into every chapter of this book, from the food to the clothing to the jewelry to the family structure, and it gives the book a unique identity that is not often seen in trad publishing.

Overall, the book was a heart-wrenching, nail-biting read. If you like ghost stories that deal with both literal and metaphorical ghosts, you’ll enjoy this book.

If you're sensitive to topics regarding DV, I'd suggest staying away from this book. There are light mentions of past actions, but it may be triggering to some readers. Lastly, if you're like me and you're incredibly sensitive to stories involving family and family history, bring Kleenex. There are definitely some moments that made me tear up.

Personally, I can’t wait to read more from Deeba Zargarpur. This is a fantastic debut.

[Joanna | booksbyjoanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR) for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

House of Yesterday focuses on Sara, whose parents are going through a divorce she is struggling to accept. The one person she can depend on, her Bibi Jan, is struggling with dementia, leaving Sara alone. As she plunges herself into the family business and renovates a house to forget her life, she starts to discover family secrets that send her down a spiral. What is her Bibi Jan hiding?

I was hoping for more out of this book. The book is meant to touch on family trauma, grief, immigration, and belonging. Unfortunately, the book felt split between Sara’s parents divorcing and family secrets without diving deep into either topic. I would’ve preferred if the author had picked one of these storylines to follow and develop.

Sara’s painful recollection of her parents’ fighting never got the full attention it deserved. Some scenes were intense, yet the plot moved along like this trauma was not important enough to explore. I wanted to watch Sara grow into her emotions and process all the wrongdoings in her family more than she did.

The ghost aspect of this book felt unnecessary. Sara never questioned the ‘visions’ she saw and she disappeared so often, I’m surprised her family didn’t lock her away. The story might’ve done better if told through letters, diaries, notes, etc. than a paranormal element. This story could have been similar to Haunting of Hillhouse- where the house is alive and lays out the family’s grief. But the story felt disjointed and the elements didn’t serve to truly aide in Sara’s emotional development.

Again, I wished I loved this more! The cover is stunning, the author has such potential in her writing and themes that I look forward to her author journey. Unfortunately, this book spread itself thin and didn’t evoke more emotions out of me.

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[Lilibet Bombshell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The truth has three sides. Memory is fallible. Families do what they think are best for us. Families try to spare us the dark side of life. Sometimes families just lie.

Families keep secrets. They may not even mean to, but maybe one day someone says, “This isn’t something we should talk about right now,” and then it’s never spoken of again, and then it becomes a tacit, silent agreement between all parties to never speak of it again. Before you know it, a generation or two has passed, and that secret has either become a family legend or a secret kept so well no one ever knew it ever existed.

“The House of Yesterday” is an elegantly put together paranormal-urban fantasy that relies heavily on a neat bit of serendipity: Sara’s family owns a house-flipping business on Long Island, New York, and they get a wonderful house with good bones that they want to flip pretty quickly. However, on the very first day Sara and her mother enter the house to take the very first pictures before renovations start, strange things start to happen at the house. These things start small but grow very quickly, all centered around Sara as she comes to realize that at some point in time, her beloved grandmother (who now has dementia) lived here and once had a daughter that no one else in the family has ever heard of nor ever seen. It becomes clear the house will not let Sara rest until she solves the mystery of what happened to little Malika, the family member none of them ever knew.

In the background of this book there is a heartrending and dramatic subplot about the separation of Sara’s parents, how much pain her mother is going through, and how much Sara blames herself for the situation they are now in. Another subplot involves her best friend, Sam, whom she hasn’t spoken to since the night her dad left her mom and for some reason she can’t get herself together enough to mend their friendship, even though he keeps reaching his hand out to her.

This book draws you in with its promises of ghosts and secrets and deep emotions, and it keeps you there with all of those things plus how invested you get in solving the mystery of the house (or, in exchange, if Sara’s mind and memories are medically fallible and someone needs to get her professional help) and with how deeply Sara really does love her family and wants to heal it however she can. So much of what she loves has been broken that she just wants to fix something for once. It just so happens her opportunity comes at a high, paranormal price.

It’s a beautiful book, full of melancholy, grieving, loss, and hopelessness. There are times when you don’t know if this is going to end well at all. I wouldn’t hold out for a happy ending: it’s more of a it-will-be-okay-someday ending. But it’s well worth reading simply for the beautiful intergenerational relationships and lovely prose.

Thanks to NetGalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for granting me access to this title in exchange for a fair and honest review.

File Under: Coming of Age/YA Paranormal Fantasy/YA Fantasy/Ghost Story/Standalone Fantasy/YA Fiction

[Lena Y Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and RB Media for providing me with an Audio ARC for an honest review.

This was a beautifully written book (beautifully narrated as well), the world build and characters was amazing. Definitely swept me away in the story of Malaka and Sara and BibiJan and the whole Amani family.

This is a story of a 15 years old Sara, living with the fact that her parents are separating and going through a divorce, her dad moving on whilst her mum has to live with the pain that comes after. The story carries on between the past (lived within a house in Somner) and the present and whatever is in between. It talks about love, friendship and the rollercoaster that is a big family. I loved the fact that the writer included words from the Afghan/Uzbek heritage (where Sara's family is from). The secrets that unfold within time, it was all so magical.

I did find that there was a lot of going back and forth, and at some point, the story felt like it was stuck at a specific timeline but then it moved on to Finally reveal the truth of the family history that Sara tried so hard to find about.

I would definitely recommend this book to people who love fantasy YA, paranormal or haunting sets.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sara is a teenager of Uzbek Afghan heritage. Ever since her parents announced they're getting divorced she's been struggling with trying to adjust to the changes and dealing with her own feelings of guilt for the role she might've played in their divorce. Normally Sara would get advice from her grandmother, Bibi Jan, but she's been deteriorating ever since she was diagnosed with Dementia. To offset her sadness, Sara has been helping her mother with her house-flipping business, taking care of the social media aspects of the business, while her mom does the logistics and manages the labor. While at one of her mom's latest home renovation projects, Sara uncovers that the house they're rebuilding holds many secrets, one that might even be linked with her own families past. Sara also comes face to face with the ghost of her grandmother and begins to realize that the answers to the secrets she hopes to retrieve may be trapped somewhere in Bibi Jan's memories. To better understand herself and her family's history, Sara has to bring these secrets into the light.

I don't usually read much YA, but I was instantly captured by the premise of House of Yesterday, an intergenerational ghost story and knew it would be an incredible read. What struck me first about the book was the emphasis on memories. Both happy and the one's that we try to forget because of how unpleasant they are, even the ones that escape us because of dementia. Sara is haunted by her desire to unravel these memories and to find the truth behind the secrets that she feels her family is hiding. Sara initially pushes away everyone who tries to help, her cousin's and Sam a boy she knew growing up. I was quite concerned for her often feeling her pain in trying to piece together the past. It's also the story of a girl trying to better understand herself, her Afghan Uzbek heritage and how she fits into the United States. It's confronting those things that we bury that are hard, and that burying hard feelings doesn't make them go away. Sometimes we need to face them to go on. It's an emotionally impactful story, a coming of age and dealing with the ghosts of one's past. While the story is haunted by grief and secrets, it does have an uplifting and satisfying ending. I'm especially excited to hear that Deeba Zargarpur is working on a middle grade book titled, Farrah Noorzad and the Ring of Fate which has Farrah discovering her distant father is a jinn king after she traps him in a magical ring. The story will release sometime in 2024 from a brand-new imprint dedicated to showcasing epic journeys (fantastical and emotional), Labyrinth Road.

**A huge thank you to Jackie Karneth at Books Forward for the E-ARC via NetGalley **

[Sammie · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can read my full review on my blog, The Bookwyrm's Den, here.

I received a copy in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.

Overall

I know this isn’t my typical type of read, but something about this book just grabbed my attention. These days, I’m a sucker for any sort of exploration of grief and all the many different ways that looks in literature. Specifically, I was very curious about the idea of intergenerational grief and all the squishy, complicated, messy human emotions and dynamics that go along with it.

House of Yesterday is a heartfelt exploration into what it means to be a family—how culture is passed on, and the way ghosts (and secrets) can haunt a family. It’s a beautifully written YA coming of age story.

I had actually hit a pretty hardcore reading slump before picking up this book, and boy did it break me out of it! I was so curious about where the mystery was going and what secrets Sara would uncover (and, more importantly, what it would mean for the rest of her family). The paranormal elements were enough to give me goosebumps, but not so overdone that they were ridiculous. I actually really enjoyed the atmosphere Zargarpur created with them!

My Thoughts

- Zargarpur creates a tense, spooky atmosphere in this paranormal mystery, where nothing is quite as it seems and everyone has their own secrets to protect. That maybe sounds a little more sinister than I intended it to. Hmm. At its core, this is a story about multigenerational trauma, not really a ghost story. But make no mistake, there is a spookiness at the heart of this story, too. Zargarpur does a great job of ratcheting up the tension until it gives readers goosebumps, and I was 100% here for that. When Sara finds out that the new house her mother is working on flipping is haunted, it’s not nearly as concerning as the fact that the place is somehow tied to her grandmother. Unfortunately for Sara, her grandmother is in the late stages of dementia, with more unclear days than lucid ones, so asking her for the truth isn’t really an option. Meanwhile, the potential secrets of the house become an obsessive distraction from Sara’s own secrets, like her feelings for her neighbor and her feelings about her parents’ failing relationship. Despite being a contemporary story through and through, the paranormal aspects add some much-needed tension and suspense. If you’re like me and don’t tend to love slice-of-life contemporaries, there is plenty here to grab your attention and keep you coming back for more. Even the ghosts in this book have their own secrets.

- There’s a sweet little budding will they/won’t they romance in this, for those who love the trope . . . complicated by the fact that, despite being childhood friends, the two have hit the stage of their life where they’re growing and changing, and not always in ways that are bound to bring them together. Sara has been best friends with Sam for most of their lives. It helps that they live next to each other, of course. Traditional guy-next-door trope, right? Except Sara has done her best to push Sam away without telling him why, and the idea of spending time with him is incredibly stressful for her. Like many things in life, it’s complicated. The romance is very sweet and almost non-existent, focusing more on the friendship, which I preferred. There were definite moments of this relationship that had me frustrated over how the characters behaved, but you know what? They’re both kids. They have every right to make mistakes (and hopefully learn from them). Heck, I still don’t have everything about romance figured out and I’ve been married for 14 years! So I think there are plenty of things in this back-and-forth situation that readers will be able to relate to. Plus, the two of them together? They’ve just got an awesome dynamic, even when it’s awkward and they’re trying not to.

- Throughout the course of this book, Sara is trying to come to grips with who she is . . . both as an almost-adult on her own, but also as a daughter and granddaughter, as someone who inherits things from her family, for better or worse. This theme plucks so hard at my heartstrings, because our family tends to be either our first love or our first trauma. Sometimes both. It’s more than just genes that we inherit from our ancestors. Sometimes we inherit trauma. Sometimes we inherit secrets. I absolutely loved the way the book explored this and how Sara had to come to grips with the fact that some of what she had grown up believing may not have been true. But then, of course, where does that leave her, when what she thought was her foundation was at least partially a lie?

- Sara isn’t the only one trying to find herself over the course of this book, and one of my favorite things about the story is the way the family comes together to support each other and that all the characters are struggling with their own identity crises. Because what’s more relatable than an identity crisis, am I right? We’ve all been there. Heck, most of us are probably still there. Since this is a YA, it’s easy to dismiss Sara’s struggles as being a stumbling block for the young, but Zargarpur does an amazing job of challenging that assumption and showing that everyone has their own ghosts they’re trying to exorcise, regardless of their age. The most beautiful thing about all of this is that none of them are alone in their struggles. Okay, sure, their initial reactions are to push others away, which is where Sara finds herself, even as she desperately wants someone to help. That’s a pretty natural reaction. But in the end, they’re surrounded by family that’s going to throw them a lifeline whether they like it or not,

Sticking Points

- After such a beautifully written, emotionally gut-wrenching novel, the ending felt a bit rushed and seemed to sweep some pretty big revelations under the rug in favor of a neatly wrapped up happy ending. The idea of a happily ever after ending is less necessary in young adult fiction than, say, middle grade fiction, so I was a little confused (and kind of disappointed) that a book that was so raw and honest for the majority of it chose this approach. However, I know a lot of people who want their books to wrap up like this, so this is really just a matter of how you like your tea. I like mine spilled and just a little bit shady, okay? The lead-up to the end was a little confusing and crossed over from creepy paranormal to . . . something else? But there didn’t seem to be any real fallout from the revelations and things Sara learns, which means that I had all these emotions from reading her story and absolutely no outlet for them. No one else in the book seemed to share these feelings, either, which was kind of a bummer.

[Zoe Elizabeth (Booksatlunch) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is undoubtedly gorgeous. The prose is lovely and it grapples with difficult but meaningful topics. But also, I was pretty confused for most of the book. The speculative aspect is really cool, but between that and Sara's flashes into the past made the story really difficult to follow.

Additionally, Sara was such an unlikable character for the middle third of the book. At first I got it, she's a hurt kid, her family is falling apart, but then she kept doubling down on being awful when everyone in her life was trying to support and help her and have honest conversations with her. There was some turn around at the end, but I really wanted more time with the Sara who had grown, not just the last few pages of the book.

I also couldn't help but feel like the secret left a huge plot hole. Like not a single person out of ten remembers? It was never talked about? They didn't notice this happening? I *think* the idea was that the house literally made them forget, but I needed more explanation to buy into that.

Overall, 3/5. The rep is great and feels so authetnic, the premise is really cool, and the prose is beautiful. Bogged down a bit by details and unlikable characters. I'm looking forward to see what Zargarpur does next and will likely pick it up.

[Amaya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this novel. I’m absolutely obsessed with the accurate desi representation!!! And! The gorgeous, page turning, writing. This story followed Sara, a 15 year old girl going through her parents divorce, and the struggles of growing up. The important messages in this story really struck me, and Sara’s perspective on the situation was incredibly well represented.

Her growth as a character was impressive as well, and it was set at an enjoyable pace that made sense with the book. She went from being a character that I started off despising, into someone who was learning, changing, and becoming understandable. I loved how her relationships were portrayed throughout the story, and how her complicated emotions led to unexpected, gripping, interactions.

Plot wise, I couldn’t stop reading. Well, I had to pause at times to just process everything that’d just happened (and rant about it to myself) because it was wonderfully done?! The story is gripping, and keeps you wanting more until the last page. It really brings “ghosts of the past” into an entirely new light, and the bittersweet ending was beautiful. It left me with a sense of warmth overall, but the hopelessness at some points was portrayed perfectly and truly made you think.

Ok. I adored the relationships in this, and they fit so well with the theme of things changing?!!! I love how accurate it was in how it showed that people change as they grow up, and since their circumstances change with them, they won’t be the same people. Even with people you’ve known forever, been with forever, it won’t be the same. It can drive some people apart, and bring others together. This was shown so strongly in the book, and it stunningly contributed to the messages and the storyline.

I fell in love with the synopsis and the GORGEOUS!! Cover art before I’d even read the novel, along with the fact that it’s by an Asian author and has DESI REP!! Which is always wonderful. Overall, I loved this book and would most definitely recommend it!!

[Kate (A Readeresque Diary) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Release date: 29 November 2022
About the book: A contemporary YA debut, with magical realism elements, about an Afghan-Uzbek girl who confronts the ghosts of her immigrant family’s past, inspired by the Afghan-Uzbek author's own history.
My rating: 4.5⭐️
Words: memories, photography, haunting, heartbreak, family, connection, dementia, divorce, friendship, hope, falling

THANK YOU so much to @fiercereads @deebazargarpur and @coloredpagesblogtours for the free ebook and the opportunity to dive into this beautiful story! ❤️

Nothing prepares you for what you find on the inside of a book, for the characters to match your feelings and for the story to include questions you yourself keep asking. I was not looking forward to the tears I knew were coming, because family, memories, the past are each a difficult subject for me...but, oh, how beautiful this story was, how hard yet fulfilling it was to read about Sara, her grief, her anger, her bewilderment, I've never felt more connected to a character.

While going through periods full of the same nature as Sara's feelings, I've found myself wishing to go back to a time when I was happier, more grounded, when things were just right...change is hard, especially when it involves the people you looked up to, those you felt safest with.

The house? What a way to reflect on the ghosts of the past and use it as a means to clear the fog that surrounds the future, a masterfully created atmosphere.

Deeba Zargarpur has written a tale so moving and expressive, it touched many subjects, from caring for a family member with dementia, to divorce and how it affects the children, family trauma and immigration, while knitting into the story her own Afghan-Uzbek legacy.

We each survive with grief and guilt in our own way. Maybe it would be nice to be kind to ourselves from time to time and reach out and share those burdens with someone.

"Yes, secrets can hurt, but sometimes, secrets are the very things that hold us together. In my life, I’ve learned that, perhaps, secrets are the only things that keep us from falling apart.”

[USOM · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)

As someone who has a family member who had dementia, House of Yesterday was absolutely heart wrenching. The ways in which it almost steals away a person's essence and how the process of grief begins before they're gone. From the very beginning, House of Yesterday had my heart in my throat. But as Zargarpur's debut continues, I couldn't stop reading. I loved the ways in which House of Yesterday examines the past, immigration, and the power of stories.

Events in our life can crash into our family and leave us with broken pieces and unspoken words. Deeply rooted in Sara's family, House of Yesterday discusses the times immigrants have to (re)transform, to make new homes, and turn nothing into a life. If that wasn't emotional enough, Sara's story is a quest to unravel the truth against the forces of her family and friends who encourage her to leave it alone. To discover the secrets and memories a house can hold. Giving the title even more meaning, I could not get over how metaphorical and fabulous this idea is.

full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...