The Autistic Guide to Communicating and Connecting: Understanding our communication differences and social needs

by Niamh Garvey

"Autistic people communicate differently to non-autistic people, but that does not equate to communicating "wrong"."

Written by autistic author Niamh Garvey, this book combines up-to-date research and lived experience perspectives to create the ultimate guide to supporting your autistic social self in hectic, everyday life.

Split into three parts that cover communication, socialising and strategies for specific social situations, this book covers everything you need to understand your communication style and helps you to explore your own social comfort zone, which looks different for everyone!

This guide is supportive, affirming and packed full of strategies on how you can support yourself and manage daily social situations, from restaurants to interviews.

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

Published August 21, 2025

Reviews

[Gee Rothvoss · Rating 5 out of 5]

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[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

I don't often read non-fiction but through my journey of self-diagnosis with autism I sometimes venture into the genre to research and gain perspective.

I think this book could be quite useful for learning how to improve and work on various forms of communication, and can be a guide to support and enable neurodivergents to maintain different relationships through a variety of ways. It's written in a way that's easy to read and understand, and feels like a dissertation in a way. I liked that the author included personal experiences- some I relate to, others not so much. The information is backed up with references and further reading, which I'm definitely going to look into.

Like always, everyone will take different things away from this book depending on who you are and what you need/are looking for.

4/5 🌟

[Derrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

The work does a good job at equitably explaining the range of autistic social experience, even giving a massive portion of the book geared towards non-verbal autistic sociality. The writer does a good job at extrapolating social implications from personal experience and secondary research.

At one point, they gave an opinion about non-verbal language boards that I didn’t agree with, but everything else in the book seemed well-reasoned and research supported.

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received an advance review copy from Jessica Kingsley Publishers via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, this book feels incredibly important because it is written from the perspective of an insider rather than filtered through a neurotypical lens. Niamh Garvey combines lived experience with research to create an affirming guide that highlights autistic communication differences without framing them as deficiencies. The sections on navigating everyday social situations, including casual conversations and interviews, are thoughtful and practical. I especially appreciated Garvey’s validation that there is no single correct way to connect with others.

The galley was challenging at times. The language leaned verbose, and several structural and editing issues occasionally disrupted the flow. These did not diminish the overall value of the content but made some sections less accessible and harder to follow.

Overall, The Autistic Guide to Communicating and Connecting offers a resource grounded in compassion and evidence, providing strategies that many autistic adults, families, educators, and allies will find meaningful. While I would have preferred a more streamlined presentation, the authenticity and depth make this a worthwhile contribution to the growing body of neurodiversity-affirming literature.

[H Noss · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Autistic Guide to Communicating and Connecting is an informative and easy-to-read guide for anyone autistic. It covers topics that I've long wanted guidance for, and would be a fantastic resource for autistic people of any age. Parents could use it to help their children with challenges and adaptations needed while growing up; teenagers can use it to build their communication skills independently; adults can use it to make up for support they may not have had in the past; family members and friends can use it to support themselves in making reasonable adaptations for loved ones; and service providers can use it to educate themselves on autistic communication and adaptations they can provide.

I'm especially fond of all of the examples that the author provides! There are some really helpful toolkits inside, such as the Six Step Social Plan (which I'll be adapting for my own needs as soon as possible) and the Helps or Hinders Habit (which I'll also be using for myself soon).

I'd also highly recommend this to authors who want to write authentic neurodivergent characters, especially neurodivergent characters who don't share the same communication needs and challenges as the author.

Thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley UK for the ARC!

[Sophie S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whilst 'The Autistic Guide to Communicating and Connecting' was hard for me as someone who dislikes reading non-fiction, I found it an incredibly informative handbook when I consumed it in smaller sections. Too often these types of books are poorly researched and completely invalidating of how individuals experience their autistic traits, so this book does well to avoid this.

The structure and prose utilised by Garvey is in my opinion definitely targeted towards adults rather than the younger generation. It is very text heavy, which I unfortunately struggle to read. It is also a great book to read if you are studying neurodiversity as a whole, and even better if researching the specific details and information relating directly to autism.

I like the tips that are suggested throughout the book, and will be absolutely be implementing them into my daily interactions with others.
If you are after a well researched and intensive guide to communicating, I definitely recommend 'The Autistic Guide to Communicating and Connecting!'

[Laura Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Out August 21st, 2025
This book feels like a deep exhale for anyone who's ever struggled with the social “rules” that seem to come naturally to others. Niamh Garvey, an autistic author herself, brings both lived experience and solid research to the table, making this guide feel personal and empowering rather than clinical or preachy.

It’s split into three parts—communication styles, socializing, and navigating specific situations like interviews or group chats—and each section is packed with strategies that actually feel doable. The standout? Her “Six Step Social Plan,” which is basically a cheat sheet for surviving social stuff without burning out.

Overall, it’s a thoughtful, inclusive guide that respects neurodiversity and offers real tools for connection. 4 stars—a solid resource that’s both validating and genuinely useful.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers

[Kryssy Foss · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an overall very informative book on understanding Autism. I have a young son with Autism who is non verbal and has motor planning delays. I liked reading how they were not any less intelligent and shouldn’t be treated as such. It upsets me when people think my son is less than because of the labels he has. My son is very intelligent and communicates in his own way. What really resonated with me was when the author spoke about how just because someone is non verbal doesn’t mean they don’t want to communicate as I feel many people think this about my son. I think this book contains a lot of good information for both autistic and non autistic people and I recommend it.

[PJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Communication differences is one of the major issues for Autistic people, particularly in a non-Autistic centred world. Niamh Garvey has written an inclusive, heavily-researched, and well-compiled guide to all variations of Autistic communication disabilities and differences and provides strategies for both Autistic to non-Autistic and Autistic to Autistic communication. I especially appreciate her Six Step Social Plan! The chapter aims and Reasonable Adaptations segments are very helpful. And the examples given, including her personal ones, add clarity.

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for allowing me to read the advanced reader's copy!

[Victoria Allan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was phenomenal, although it was a big long and a little dense at times the writing structure was overall remarkably. Garvey with her own experiences in with Autism has found a way to make her rewriting feel relevant at times on a basis of either experiencing Autism themselves or through a loved one and the journey with verbal and non-verbal communication. This book is something I would hand to anyone who is interested in learning more about the ASD world.

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is value in this type of book. However, I felt that Garvey was extremely dry; I did not enjoy reading this book (grain of salt: I'm more of a fiction person than a nonfiction person). However, as a late-diagnosed autistic woman, I feel like it was perfunctory. I wanted a more casual tone to make it feel friendlier.