Relentless Goodbye: Grief and Love in the Shadow of Dementia

by Ginnie Horst Burkholder

Ginnie Horst Burkholder shares from the heart about caring for a spouse who is slowly slipping away to Lewy body dementia (LBD). Burkholder’s memoir reveals how she handles the constant challenges through humor, love, commitment, and faith. At the same time, she does not gloss over the loss, pain, and loneliness on this emotional roller coaster ride that invaded her marriage and family following her husband’s diagnosis.

The book is about the gritty and glorious substances of life—how illness and health, faith and doubt, grief and acceptance all flow together in the river of change. It leads each of us to a greater awareness of our own life experiences.

Study questions are included. They are not only a tool for understanding dementia or the role of caregivers but can bring greater self-awareness to every person’s life experience.

LBD is not a rare disease. It affects an estimated 1.3 million individuals and their families in the United States. It affected the author Ginnie Horst Burkholder's family before the age of 50. Learn more from the Lewy Body Dementia Association at www.lbda.org. Read more of Ginnie's writing and other Essays on LBD Caregiving by clicking here.

A great companion resource to Relentless Goodbye is the book Loving Someone Who Has How to Find Hope while Coping with Stress and Grief by Pauline Boss, PhD. Click here for more information.

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 31, 2012

Reviews

[Ron Cammel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author, a friend of mine, openly and honestly exposes her journey with her husband and his slowly increasing dementia. Beside my own interest in her perspective on Nelson's condition, compared to what I observed, this book readies me for difficulties. To understand another person's response to such hardship helps in understanding my own responses, though they may be different. Ginnie's story alone is powerful and needs no analysis. Though she includes some questions for personal reflection at the end of each chapter, I quit reading them because I could much better place myself in relation to the story than in seeking answers. Ginnie turns out to be a great writer, too! This book is simply and beautifully written.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended by a friend who is in the midst of his own relentless goodbye to his wife who has the same disease. Heartbreaking, but also hopeful how the author has found ways to cope with something that never gets less awful.

[Gloria · Rating 3 out of 5]

A true account of a marriage forever changed by Lewy Body Dementia.

[Janice Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

A care giver

I would recommend book to any spouse of some one suffering from Dementia. She certainly hits exactly what we fell. It was l!me i was sharing with her through the whole book

[Natalie 'Bainbridge' Lappe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a beautiful book! As a healthcare professional myself, I have seen firsthand the stress that caring for a loved one can cause. The author does a wonderful job illustrating how love can help you push yourself further than you thought possible. She also illustrates the hardships I think most people tend to forget ... the caregiver themselves. We often times ask about those who are ill, but not those caring for them.

I loved how the book was broken into short sections written by the author, followed by quotes from other caregivers. In its own way, each section provided a deeper insight into what it was to be in a caregiver situation. You can tell that writing was something that was therapeutic for her. I think this book would be a great read for anyone dealing with a situation similar.

I recieved this book through the Goodreads Giveaway program and am so happy that I was given the chance to read this. I fully intend on recommending this book to my patients in the hope that they will find it as beautiful and helpful as I did!