ROTGUT

by H.S. Wolfe

All I want to do is play drums in Cluster Headache, but I can’t even get that right. Between my on-again off-again shituationship with one of my band mates, the drinking problem-I-don’t-really-have and losing my job along with my will to live... I’ve kind of botched up my life.

As if things weren’t crummy enough I’m being followed by strange creatures that no one else seems to notice. Right before a big show too, that can’t be a good sign.

I've got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about it.

Genres: Horror, Queer, Dark, LGBT, Novella, Fiction

103 pages, Paperback

Published May 26, 2024

About the author

(He/They) HS Wolfe is a queer author and artist from the midwest now residing in Denmark with their spouse and two bonsai trees. When they are not juggling manuscripts he can be found wrestling with procreate and the mortifying ordeal of being known. Find wolfe across social media everywhere as WOLFEHORROR

Reviews

[Ana Marcel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This made my tummy hurt at 3 am. 🖤

[Stitching Ghost · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed every minute of my time with this novella. A fever dream of body horror and messiness where nothing feels certain, but everything feels gross. Perfection.

[v0id_93 · Rating 4 out of 5]

The way I had to read the bathroom scissor scene with my kindle 3ft from my face..BIG OUCHIES were felt 🥴
✂️
✂️
Anyway I’m having a hard time articulating my thoughts into a coherent review but this was amazing✨

-The compounding of Morrows self destruction into the nosedive of spiraling mut*lation and chaos was sublime.

-I want to punch Hawthorne in the face, smooch him, and then punch him again

-I saw a lot of myself at different times with Morrow. How they didn’t take care of themselves (in all the ways) bc they essentially didn’t think they are worth taking care of.

-Whether it was intentional or not, the moments of comedic relief in Morrows internal dialogue or the snappy clap backs from their band mates was a wonderful addition.

-I’m probably delulu but to me, ROTGUT was birthed from the soil that grew Invasion of The Body Snatchers, Hereditary & Midsommar. No I cannot elaborate, it’s ✨vibes✨

-And bc I’m a gross girl, I really loved the v*mit scene

-ALSO THE VERY LAST LINE?!???? Love😭

[corks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really appreciate the LGBTQIA recognition and the art work! This book just wasn’t my cup of tea. I got it until I didn’t and was just saying WTF throughout the book!

Then the content warning being after the authors note should be a fucking crime IJS 😭

[everybookadoorway · Rating 5 out of 5]

SICK AND FUCKING TWISTEDDD! (i loved it)

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so happy to see that I received an ARC and immediately put down my current book to read it

This book was raw. That’s the word that keeps going through my head when i think about it. Absolutely real and raw in its depiction of mental illness, it does not shy away from the bloody, visceral parts of Morrow, metaphorically and very very literally.

I’m gonna be honest that my stomach hurt reading it and still does writing this review, but it was in the same way your stomach hurts when you go on a hardcore rollercoaster, and then afterwards you’re breathless and ready to go again.

Read the warnings and then dive in because you will not regret it at all.

[india :) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the character overviews at the beginning. Having a little picture of them was so nice and instantly helped when visualizing the plot. Morrow is so real because i know I would be so downbad for Hawthorne too even though he's the worst person ever. He is so sexy and such a gross douchebag and i need him bad. When I realized that the rot actually symbolized something, like maybe bpd or being transgender or idek exactly what, it got a little bit hard for me to grasp. My brain goes for the easier option where rot in your gut is just rot and its gross and youre infected. I think maybe if i had bpd or if i was mentally ill in a different way, then this would be even more awesome and relatable to read. It was hard to tell what was real and what was fake which I think was the point. It just seemed or i Hope that Puppy and Babs wouldn't just leave them on the floor in pain. I love the visceral descriptions and there was def cannibalism as a form of love in there. When Hawthorne plunged his hand into Morrow's gut and pulled it out, that's what I thought about. Hawthorne shows his love through ripping Morrow apart. 'It is not to help me. He plunges in, and I feel like the very core of me is being torn apart. The pain is unimaginable as he buries his arm up to the elbow inside of me, hand snaking its way up through my rib cage, pushing tissue and viscera out of the way, until he can grip the beating muscle of my heart. "You have it," I sob, choking on the mucus in my throat. "You already have it, please just let me go." I'm begging. He beams, squeezing it harder.' The ending flew over my head. The little beasts giving them a thing to put on their head and now Morrow's knows their place? idek what that was oh well

Quotes:
- 'I know I shouldn't let him cling to me like this, but I'm starved for human contact. I need it like water. If he would let me, I'd crack open his chest, part his ribs so I could climb in, chew his arteries up and rearrange them into a nest for myself. I would crawl under his skin, a warm blanket for me while I burrow into his muscles. I'd hide behind his molars, or the crevice of his eye. Every gentle touch he affords me tonight reminds me that I'm hungry.'

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC copy by the author in exchange for a review.

This short story has everything! Antipsych swag, gutwrenching body horror that made me feel sick (honorific), a sexy, seeeexy cover, a nonbinary worstie (<3), an MC that has a bad time and makes it worse, incredible intense gore described in vivid detail (again, if the gore does make me cringe and want to puke a little, then I know its great! and it did!!!) and even a dog (that does not get harmed)!
In general if the cover makes you go "Huh, interesting" please just check this book out. If you need more incentive this book is about the spiral where everything just gets worse and worse and what to do if you can't stop it. Also read this book if you've ever wondered what life would feel like when your mental health is bad already, your band is falling apart (again) because of your situationship with the singer and suddenly the little dust sprites from spirited away lived in your bathroom and did a little dance whenever you had a bad time.

Tws are provided in the back of the book, but I will also type them up here: Skin picking, skin chewing, alcoholism, medication abuse, paranoia, hypnagogic and hypnopompic type hallucinations, severe self mutilation, gratuitous gore, graphic on page body horror done to self, implied eating disorder (including struggle with food contamination), implied past suicidal ideation, choking during sex, emetophobia, character death, declining mental health, spiraling severe borderline personality disorder symptoms.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

ROTGUT by H.S. Wolfe left me emotionally raw. Stunned. Spaced out. I can't and won't claim that I understood all of it, but the parts that I understood, I did very deeply. This isn't just a story borne from the imagination; it felt way more personal than that.

I gotta say, though—I was reading this book on my Kindle, and I saw several passages that were highlighted by other people, and they are some of the most beautiful and saddest sentences that I've ever read. I found myself easily relating to most of them. I don't know who these people are, but in those moments of quiet revelations I felt a strong kinship with them, like they were telling me that, "Here, I felt strongly to this, you might also like it, and it's okay if you do." For a story that involved an actual ripping out of the heart from a body, I felt like mine was being stitched back together in the process by quiet hands.

[Lily · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5⭐️
I can see what the author was going for, but I think they needed to flesh it out more. The concept was cool, and the body horror had me cringing more than I ever have before, but at some point, the symbolism started to get lost on me, and I ended up more confused than anything.
The artwork was a great addition, though

[Hedon's Gay Bookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you the author for this ARC!

While this is first and foremost queer psychological horror and a total mindfuck of a read, I love the foundation and premise of these characters and their band. They’re all so painfully cool, especially Morrow, and Hawthorne is The Worst TM but also I get it. The mental health representation in this book is exceptionally well done - unfiltered and vulnerable. Readers will either relate to Morrow’s experiences, or gain important insight into living with BPD. There’s a delicate balance of intimacy and pain in Morrow’s relationships, spiraling rapidly into the throes of hallucination, during which even the reader can’t be certain what’s real. This book is raw, surreal, and definitely not for the squeemish.

[PJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A novel about mental illness and self worth under the guise of horror. I really loved the way this was written. I feel like mental illness is much more easily portrayed and explained in the world of horror. I do not have BPD but I have Bipolar Disorder and I felt a lot of what the author was saying in between the intestine coated lines.

[HJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Utterly disgusting. GIMME MORE.

[T · Rating 5 out of 5]

absolutely incredible and made me feel sick, highly recommended for real

[hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This really had me saying wtf and cringing 2/3 of the way through! In saying that if you suffer with mental health badly (like me) you find yourself relating to the main character

[Robyn Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A (not so) nice lil gore filled splurge to brighten my night 🥲

[Meghan-Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

i just really fuck with weird queer body horror i can’t explain it but i just eat this shit UP

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

reading the bathroom scissor scene at 6am before work was actually a wild choice on my part. This was gross and unfortunately relatable in such a good way, I look forward to checking out more stuff by Wolfe!

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

My brain melted reading this because HOW CAN IT BE SO GOOD. I ended up slightly traumatized and had to stop several times during the book to process what the hell was happening BUT IT WAS SO WEIRDLY WONDERFUL UGH, I'M DEAD

[silver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was provided with an ARC of ROTGUT by the author in exchange for an honest review. The book will be released on May 30, 2024.

ROTGUT is disturbing in its familiarity. It is at once beautiful and horrific; as soothing in its solidarity as it is terrifying in its viscerality.

It felt like Morrow's intrusive thoughts came to life and cheered on their self destruction; feasted on it, danced in the spilled blood.

Wolfe is a master of generating suspense. The build up of tension left me begging for a bit of relief — some kind of confirmation that it wasn't real; to wake up and find out its all been a nightmare.

Wolfe has gifted us an incredibly vulnerable and poignant read...if you can stomach it!

[Taylor Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

**This book was provided as an ARC in exchange for an honest review**

A more coherent review is to come while I gather my thoughts

Just know that I read this in a single sitting and couldn't put it down. Wolfe is an artist and I'm obsessed.

[Dylan Noah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I originally signed up for an ARC of this book and then life got in the way, so I never had a chance to sit down, read it, and review it. Nevertheless, I want to thank author H.S. Wolfe for the opportunity to let me do so. I went on to purchase a paperback copy of the book, which had been my original plan already. So this is not an ARC review. I do, in fact, own this book.

I want to get the obvious out of the way first. Splatterpunk authors could learn a lot from H.S. Wolfe. The scenes of violence and self-harm in Rotgut are fantastic and enough to make me squirm. As soon as the first scene began and it became clear exactly what Morrow was going to do to themself, I had to set the book down and take a deep breath. The writing is as grotesque as it is gorgeous. It conveys the physical pain of the scene as well as just enough imagery to make my stomach churn, which is frankly not an easy task if you look at some of the other books I've reviewed.

The critters described within the book are also as haunting as they are adorable. I have a soft spot in my heart for weird little gremlins that cause problems for the protagonist. What made this all the more fun of an addition is that you can never quite be sure, at least not until the end, that they're entirely real. Morrow is suffering so much that you're left wondering if they might be imagining this all right until you get your answer.

This book is erotic horror, and the erotica also delivers. The moments are brief but carry a lot of steam given the heavy tone of the book, and they serve as both a touch of levity as well as carrying their own painful twist. Morrow's thought process toward Hawthorne is one I've seen replicated in the words of many of my friends who suffer similarly to them. I myself have no experience with what Morrow has gone through, but the people in my life that I love were who I was thinking about as I read their pages, and I can safely say I saw a lot of similarities, both good and bad. Honest.

And that is the best part of this book, the part that shines more than all the others. Morrow is as captivating as they are sad. Their suffering is not softened on any page in which their disorder rears its head. Their view of the world, their friends, and themself is always shifting, but grows steadily worse as the pages turn and the story unfolds. Morrow was suffering long before their encounter with the gachapon machine, and they continue to suffer after. In this, I did find some relation. The struggle to maintain even something as relatively simple-seeming as a clean living space can be difficult when you barely want to get out of bed in the morning.

I was immensely excited for Rotgut and eagerly waited its release, and again, thank you to H.S. Wolfe for sending me an ARC, even if I did not get to read it. I have zero regrets about purchasing Rotgut and I heartily recommend it to anyone who is willing to face the true and often ugly reality of what Morrow goes through, both in the real world and in their own mind.

[Phoenix Mendoza]

This was a BLAST. Fast paced, nostalgic, music centric horror that reminded me of the PZB era 90s cohort when every character was a hot self injurious gay vampire. I loved the speed and the climax of this book, it was unrelenting and did a great job of refusing to reveal if the events in the text were really happening or all in the narrators head. Good madness horror, good mental illness as body horror, good psychological horror. The main character is ACHINGLY real and brutally sad—we all know a Morrow or were a Morrow. Moments of this really brought me back to my shitty, self destructive, self obsessed highschool and college years. Truly an unflinching examination of instability and self sabotage and the ways in which that level of obsessive interiority and megolomania will literally fray reality. The horror in this was metaphor in many ways, and that worked well.

I will say I struggled a bit with the writing sometimes— there were some really clunky sentences especially at the beginning which made for a rough start, though I’m glad I stuck it out. I also felt like the author skimmed super quickly over things I wish they’d gone into depth with, like Morrow’s history with Puppy and their relationship to their parents. The refusal to offer a real flashbacks or explanations and instead choosing to briefly allude to past events without detailing them felt simultaneously over-familiar in a self insert way, and also cowardly like there were pulled punches around the backstory. This book easily could have maintained its fast pace and been 20k longer, af least, with more fleshed out characters.

overall I really enjoyed it though and had a super fun time. This was the first thing I read from this author, looking forward to more.

[stargazing_is_gay · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4,5)

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. English isn’t my mother tongue, so I apologize for any mistyping and grammatic errors.

Like everything I've ever read from H.S Wolfe, Rotgut is absolutely well written. Even with not much pages, I was able to see Morrow as a real person, three dimensional, even though their mental state blurred all the sides they could show. Reading the situations they put themselves in was so frustrating, my first thoughts being "boy this is so unsanitary, please don't hook up Hawthorne, DROP THOSE FUCKING SCISSORS". Was frustrating seeing them being so reckless and uncaring of themselves, but then I stopped and remembered myself that even though it is a fiction story, this is something that actually happens. I have a friend that has BPD, and when younger (back then she wasn't diagnosed) she was like that, and I judged her as someone that was "lazy, crazy, thoughtless". I'm glad now she's diagnosed and going through therapy and meds, and also glad for me getting informed and also becoming someone more considerate of others.

I still found difficulties in understanding metaphorical stuff in english (tho in portuguese I'm not that good too, but at least it is my mother tongue), so I think I've lost a lot of the meanings through the reading, because my brain may be focused on vocabulary and understanding some figured expressions. Either way, I enjoyed the reading, and as always, the graphic descriptions got me feeling a bit disturbed and disgusted, but exactly that's the goal.

I'm sucker for everything the author writes, so I'm definitely looking forward for more projects.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dark, graphic and sad story that discusses the realistic impacts of severe mental health disorders. This story follows a young individual as they struggle with self acceptance, identity, mental health and relationships.

I loved this. I loved how brutal, twisted and devastating it was to read. My heart broke for our protagonist and their confusing and distorted reality. It was a true reflection of mental health and psychosis, and how this can impact not only the individual, but everyone around them.

The author did an amazing job, allowing the readers to understand how one's reality can so easily be distorted. This story also had a wonderfully diverse cast as well as discussing some heavy topics that are often avoided. I applause you H.S. Wolfe!

My only complaint is that we don't get a definite ending or outcome. However, I understand that this is the harsh reality of mental health. We never truly know what is going on in people's heads, what their sense of reality is like, so maybe it's a bold move to end the way it did.

If you are anyway squeamish or have triggers, please go in with hesitancy and read the warnings!

[Imani Chestnut · Rating 4 out of 5]

If he would let me, I’d crack open his chest, part his ribs so I could climb in, chew his arteries up and rearrange them into a nest for myself. I would crawl under his skin, a warm blanket for me while I burrow into his muscles. I’d hide behind his molars, or the crevice of his eye. Every gentle touch he affords me tonight reminds me that I’m hungry. Starving for so much I will never have. I settle for scraps thrown to the floor, picking bones clean.

//

Reading ROTGUT felt like I came across a journal from someone, somewhere; the leather worn, pages warped, and the writing barely legible. The story in it, personal beyond measure. And in some ways, it makes sense; while in others, not at all.

I'm not sure if ROTGUT was really for me, but I did finish it because I wanted to know what would happen to poor Morrow, who couldn't seem to catch a break. I don't know, I think I'll be thinking about this one fir a while.

//

“You have it,” I sob, choking on the mucus in my throat. “You already have it, please just let me go.”

[ania | hellishreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

do you love queer horror, potential alien invasions and toxic relationships? then you’ll want to devour ROTGUT!

this little gross book comes out today and it’s the perfect book for anyone who’s into indie queer horror that’ll disgust you and make you feel all kinds of things — good and bad, actually. it’ll make you feel sick to your stomach while craving more.

ROTGUT follows morrow, a band member of Cluster Headache, who has BPD and is currently spiralling. they’re in a toxic sort of relationship, they’re struggling to keep it together and they’re also seeing strange creatures everywhere that may or may not be real.

the depiction of mental illness, queerness and despair is honestly on point and it makes for a pretty great read that i think most of my mutuals on here would absolutely devour.

ROTGUT is perfect for fans of magnus thorne and eric larocca, to mention just a few authors, so yeah please read it — i know I’ll be rereading it again SOON.

[horizon · Rating 5 out of 5]

We read this book sitting on the floor at a Say Anything concert because we saw the email notification that we got the ARC and physically could not prevent ourselves from reading it immediately.

This is the kind of shit we’re talking about when we say we want weird, fucked up, angry, unabashedly personal, antipsych, insane-complimentary-derogatory, niche ass guro fiction. This is an incredibly raw, angry, personal *experience,* not trying to say anything is good or bad, just happening. And it fucks.

There’s not a lot we can say except that I think this quote sums up everything you want from this book:

> I have to know if it’s taken root inside of me. I have a feeling it has, but if it's still just on the outside, then maybe I can stop the spread somehow, maybe I can be saved.

Crazy fucking book. Mind the warnings and get your shit in here.

[Kay West · Rating 4 out of 5]

This nightmare fueled, body horror novella will have you hiding under a blanket all night.

First of all there's amazing art throughout this book starting with character art of the band members including a little fact about them. I kept flipping back to it throughout the book and feel that it added a lot to the story.

Our main character Morrow (they/them) is deeply flawed, alone and struggling with mental illness. They are actively speed-running their own destruction throughout the entire book. While Morrow doesn't treat themself with respect, H.S Wolfe absolutely does.

When Morrow finds a mysterious capsule machine and wishes to stop worrying what everyone thinks of them, things get DARK real quick.

What to expect
✂️ Queer body horror novella
✂️ Toxic AF relationship (NB/M)
✂️ Trans MC
✂️ Nightmare fuel
✂️ Self-destruction speed run
✂️ Hide all you scissors

Wow! This was my first HS Wolfe read and it will not be my last. I'm excited to keep going with this series.

This book is best read while staring at yourself in the mirror until one of you blinks first.

[Drew Huff · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like Eric LaRocca, BOY HOWDY will you love this book.

Genuinely had me on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what would happen and what the explanation would be. These characters are all messed up in their own unique way, which made me care deeply about what happened to them (poor Morrow!)

When it comes to mental health depictions, a lot of horror books read like they're written by edge lords or well-meaning upper-class authors that have no idea how bad it can get. ROTGUT is one of the few horror books I've read that actually gets it--Morrow's struggles are extreme, but understandable, which makes the horror land well. Morrow actually feels like a person with BPD and several other mental health struggles. In a genre where most mental health depictions are Not Great, it's awesome to see realistic rep.