Madam: A memoir

by Antonia Murphy

A poignant and darkly comedic memoir from a mother who opened an ethical escort agency in small town New Zealand – and dared to make a difference. Now a major international TV series starring Rachel Griffiths and Martin Henderson.

I’m Antonia, a real-life madam. I’ve got a blended family of six kids; I spend my mornings packing lunchboxes and my evenings reading bedtime stories. And two days a week, I work as a pimp. Procurer, madam – whatever you want to call it. Personally, I think of myself as a union organiser. For vaginas.

An ex-pat from San Francisco, Antonia Murphy is living on a farm in rural New Zealand with her husband and two kids, bored and isolated, when her husband leaves her. Suddenly, she has to figure out how to survive.

Upon discovering the decriminalisation of sex work in New Zealand, Antonia’s mind starts to wander, and she reaches out to the iconic Madam Mary to learn more about the business. Mary runs a human rights-based escort agency, and she opens Antonia’s eyes to a workplace that safeguards women’s health and dignity, while providing a clean, shame-free establishment for male clients. Inspired, Antonia decides to open her own The Bach.

Over the next three years, she encounters more than she could have domestic abuse, assault, theft, drugs and a stream of silly, horrific and sometimes touching requests from her clients. She witnesses the ways so many women are trapped – by early pregnancy, lack of education and the constraints of their circumstances. More than anything, she sees fire in the women who choose sex they refuse to give up and be poor, even when the odds are stacked against them.

In Madam, we follow Antonia through the turbulent years of her agency, as she toils to keep both her business and family afloat, and to keep the women of The Bach safe and thriving as they practice the world's oldest profession.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Memoir, Book Club, Biography, Feminism

329 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 30, 2024

About the author

Antonia Murphy is the author of MADAM (coming October 2024), her memoir about running a legal, feminist escort agency in New Zealand. MADAM has also been made into a fictionalized TV series by the same name, starring Rachel Griffiths and Martin Henderson.

In 2015, Antonia published DIRTY CHICK with Penguin Random House (USA/Canada) and Text Publishing (Australia/New Zealand.)

A San Francisco native, Antonia lives in Auckland, New Zealand with her husband and two children.

Reviews

[Christmas Carol ꧁꧂ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5★

I attended the Auckland Writers Festival opening night because it sounded like fun & I had won a 'Black Card' for food & drink for the opening night. Unfortunately the heavens opened up as we were running to the train stop & we got completely drenched. Of course, a lot of the fun outdoor activities had to be cancelled. After having a drink at the first bar we found (unfortunately a sports bar) we went exploring & found Antonia Murphy was having her event in a shoe shop (no idea if this was the original plan or not) Antonia was stylish & a very engaging speaker! The three of us so enjoyed her talk that we watched the TV series on TV3 Now, but I have only just got to the book. - which after a good start, I found a little disappointing.

American born Antonia & Peter had ended up in NZ. They lived on a lifestyle block in the far North with their two children. Lets just say Peter had trouble accepting his responsibilities & Antonia was unconventional. Antonia was already toying with becoming a madam (she had found out that prostitution had been decriminalised in NZ) when Peter walked out & her lover Patrice & his children moved in. I can't remember (already) if the baby was born at this point or not, but in any case Antonia ended up with a blended family of six children to support. In return for running a motel she was able to start a brothel in some of the rooms. & after a rough start, Antonia did make money at it. A personal tragedy led to her leaving that lifestyle & moving to France - & then COVID struck. She now has moved to Auckland.

The brothel gave women a chance to make money in an area of the country where there would have been very few choices - none of them well paid. & Antonia is honest about personality clashes that lead to two of her co-managers leaving the business & difficulties with some of the women. & giving the men descriptive nicknames & putting them in the phone was a good way of making sure that they didn't take repeat bookings from problem customers. but, the demeaning nicknames stopped being funny very quickly (would it have been ok to give her women workers similar nicknames & reveal them to her readers?) & she really doesn't take responsibility for an unthinking action of hers that places one of the women in danger.

The book was interesting but I can't say I really enjoyed it.

[Frances Hodgson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lots of unethical goings ons for a supposedly ‘ethical escort agency’

[Heiti · Rating 2 out of 5]

i listened to the audiobook.
i wanted to enjoy this and i hoped it to be an ethical (as the author uses as a selling point for her business), insightful, and unprejudiced memoir about sex work.
sadly i didn’t find it to be this.
whilst listening, it felt like this was written more like a dark comedy, less like a memoir - and there was something irksome about the casual racism towards south asian men, the judgement towards staff drug use, and the sharing (albeit accidentally) personal details of a potential staff member with clients - and having very little remorse for doing so whilst also covering her tracks, in case it turned into a legal issue.
despite checking the boxes (on paper) for a safe and “ethical” escort company, the author’s business idea feels like it stemmed from a thought to make “easy” money without having to do the actual escort work. combined with no prior knowledge or experience within the sex work industry, this attitude felt a bit like it came with a saviour complex.
i never like to write negative reviews on any author’s personal memoir as each person’s story is their own - however as a written work i felt this story lacked originality and the writing style didn’t ever feel particularly insightful or well thought out.

[Zubin D'Sousa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parts of this were well written, and I really wanted to like Antonia and her story- it is her story, and it does seem authentic and true. The sex workers were often funny and smart, and were probably the most interesting part of the book. But- repeatedly calling yourself ethical does not make it so, and there are some really borderline things she says and does. Not having security or some sort of silent alarm (or both) seems kind of crazy for the risk involved in this business. The lack of regard for 'consent' when sharing photos screenshot from Instagram of a woman that didn't work there, with unknown potential male clients, was shocking. And the categorisation of South Asians (particularly those with strong accents) as 'not having been taught about consent', is plain racist. I'm disappointed in how she defaults to generalisation, with no appreciation of the fact that the women she advocates for, have all faced the same judgement and sterotyping.

[Mia Barnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A recount of an American woman running an “ethical” brothel in Whangārei. Another one best enjoyed without critically analysing it, and her Americanness shone through. That being said I smashed through it pretty quickly as an audiobook (narrated by the author!). I’m pleased I read it and the Epilogue really tied it all together.

[Sharondblk · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't like rating memoirs poorly. since this is Antonia's life, as she chooses to present it. But I had some serious issues with this book. The main one is that, despite the (potentially) salacious topic, this book is boring. Since sex-work is decriminalised in New Zealand (as it is in Victoria Australia, where I live) it's just another job. So, the main topic of this book is "running a small business is hard" and "getting and keeping good staff is hard". There are repeated copies of text messages from clients. I think it's deliberately showing how wearing this can be on someone running this job, but it's really boring to listen to.

Antonia believes that, when sex work is decriminalised it can be a great way for women to make a living. While I agree with this, it could have been a Ted Talk, and we could have been done in ten minutes. I guess, to prove this point, she repeatedly has her workers saying how much money they earn, how much fun they are having, and how they love their jobs. They are all great - except the drug users, but they are not welcome here. which might be fair enough, because this is a real job and drug addicts are also not welcome in my office, but it seems a little bit dismissive in this environment.

And this might be a spoiler, but it also might make you decide not to read the book - despite the book saying it was about three years, after describing two years, Antonia says 'and the last year was fine, not drama, nothing to tell'. Maybe she was sick of writing.

There was something unsatisfying about this book. I'm not going to analyse whether Antonia was, in fact ethical (yes, because she makes sure the 'girls' have true consent, or not because of the way she talks about her male clients. I'm going to skip over the racist assumptions about the entire Indian sub-continent (was was very surprised that this had been read by a sensitivity reader). I'm just going to say that I gritted my way through the second half of the book, and now I wish I hadn't bothered.

I listened to an audio-book, provided for free by Netgalley and Simon and Shuester Audio. The cover was much better on that edition - a picture of a 70s motel.

[Dee Blom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What a rollercoaster. A memoir with some spice. Yes this is about sex work, but it’s also about gender imbalance, society’s judgement and shame around sex and the raw and real life of a Madam. This is about relationships, families and careers. Definitely worth a read.

[Shirley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for this book for an honest review. This book was absolutely intriguing. Focusing on Antonia who decided to open a business to support her family after her husband left her, the story goes through how she opened an ethical escort agency in New Zealand. I can honestly say it’s not something I’ve ever thought about, but it was so intriguing all the way through. With the various managers, the ladies who worked there and the different things the various men wanted the story flowed really fast while keeping you interested.

[Kelly Blackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was so excited to read the memoir written by a woman who set up an ethical brothel in New Zealand.

Equal parts fascinating, funny and shocking sad. I wouldn’t consider myself a prude but I did find parts of this book confronting and maybe that’s the point?
I was intrigued and invested in the story and ultimately came away not knowing how I felt about her story.

I did find certain parts of this book problematic, especially when referring to a potential worker who had xxx in her Instagram profile, but overall it was interesting read which challenged my view of sex work.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A light-hearted contextualisation of sex work in NZ. Murphy reinforced a lot of thoughts I've had about the industry and what it means from a female autonomy / sexual emancipation perspective. Provided a few laughs and some refreshing honesty. Surprised about some of the generalisations, but reminded myself that Murphy is writing from her own professional experiences. "As anyone who's ever been a woman will tell you, our sexuality is the whole world's business".

[Talia Thomas · Rating 2 out of 5]

some real questionable stuff here but interesting memoir. nz lens is interesting too

[Ashleigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Spoiler-free.

Antonia's memoir retells her experience owning and operating a business in the sex industry. We're talking about an industry and workers that are extremely marginalised. This book is set in Whangārei in Aotearoa (NZ), and the author does recognise that Whangārei is not like cities or large towns in other parts of the world.

Antonia writes this book in a position of power. Throughout the book, Antonia provides glimmers of who she is but doesn't share much with you as the reader. What she does share is that she is a mother, partner, daughter, writer - all labels. As the reader, you learn that Antonia has a child with a disability and a blended family. She also shares her struggle navigating an ethical non-monogamous relationship (but does not articulate this well), and the challenges of a marriage ending.

Deficit language used throughout. There was multiple moments where I felt uncomfortable due to Antonia's choice of language. Antonia entered the sex industry inexperienced and she does to an extent, try to educate herself. What Antonia fails to do is recognise her internal biases. If Antonia was sharing her stories as a sex worker - I wouldn't have an issue with her writing.

Page 288. I won't provide spoilers but the author completely contradicts herself. What Antonia did to this woman put her in immediate danger.

Antonia shares her desire to own and run an ethical business. She slams other businesses throughout the novel by labelling them as unethical, unsafe and dirty. Where is the care or consideration for the people working at other establishments? This narrative is already so prominent, that sex work is dirty and unsafe - I think the book could have done without the negative comments about other establishments. Antonia does not direct her comments at the workers but by putting her establishment on a pedestal, it implies that the women working at the other venues were lesser than.

Is anyone else thinking - WHERE WAS THE SECURITY?! Was this another attempt to cut costs?

The more I think about this book the more issues I find. Antonia uses 'ethical' as a buzzword. This establishment provided the bare minimum, then wanted a gold star because other establishments were 'worse'. Big no from me. Go into this book with curiosity and remember that this is one womens retelling of partially her experience and the experiences of others.

One last comment. Maybe this was Antonia trying to raise awareness? But valuing white 'skinny' women over POC, then saying 'it's what sold'. I don't live in Aotearoa but I'm an Australian white-passing Indigenous woman. This is so loaded. It made me very uncomfortable (maybe it was intended to). I won't say anymore but I'm sure you can tell this book bothered me.

[Rianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 🌟
This book started well, I thought, and had an interesting premise but I felt the main theme was the stress of running a small business with finite resources and because that is my literal life (albeit it less stressful circumstances) I wanted more dramatised arcs (a lot to ask for from someone’s real life account!!)

I also thought there was a lot of inappropriate phrases & generalisations. Against the bigger girls, girls of colour and south East Asian men?!! I found this part difficult to hear.

Also, Patrice seems like the kindest man ever.

[Chelsea Russell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I want to preface this review by saying this is my first time writing a reflection of a book and I think it is because I have never felt such a visceral reaction to a book before.

I also want to say that I think I had such an intense reaction to this story because I work in restorative approaches to sexual harm.

This author failed to explicitly identify the lack of ethical consideration she takes throughout her time creating her business. Now, is ‘The Bach’ more ethical than other escort agencies? Sure, but to consider yourself ethical when lacking so many structures of safety really boggled my mind.

As I read this book, there were numerous instances where I was genuinely shocked at how the author was describing the experiences. From not checking the ID of one women (until after asking if she fits the desires of a 70 year old), to passing off a client from one women’s to another when she described an unsafe experience. I was consistently surprised at how little self awareness she had.

I was holding out hope that by the middle/end of the story she would come to realize that her attempt at being ethical were not sufficient. That she was not as safe and empowering as she might think. I support sex workers - and I think the need for safe & ethical practices cannot be understated. But the lack of reflection throughout the book when women are being harmed and pressured is so so disappointing.

As I got near the end and realized the few reflections to ‘The Bach’ were focused on the men - I saw that a deeper reflection was not coming. I don’t blame an author for being honest about their perspective at the time, I find that very human. What I do care about is, years later, lacking the ability to reflect that her business is not ethical and her approach lacks safety and agency.

Again, there are worse places - but to claim to be ethical and then to lack safety, put profits over the women who work for you, and to disregard multiple perspectives of your workers is unethical.

I rarely have such a reaction to a book but working with survivors of sexual harm and working with people who have caused harm - I couldn’t help but see the glaring issues and the authors ability to shrug them off.

[Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Randomly got this from Libby, and happy that I did.

It's an interesting look into the world of prostitution, and I think the author did a good job of the pacing (mostly) and "fictionalizing" some bits.

I didn't need quite as much detail about her handicapped son, but I get how it was hard for her to cut those parts. Also, dear god, why did she ever have kids with her first husband? What an absolute obvious dead beat.

[Christine McEwan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Riverbend Book Club Jul-25. Thought I’d left this one too late to finish, but was a surprisingly quick read - one day. Not really a fan of the content, but the writing style was easily digestible and the narrative of the disabled son kept the story going to find out what happened at the end. Importance of trusting your instincts.

[Di · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full review after bookclub

[Jennifer Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great Christmas read, thanks to my dear B, you always surprise me.
A most engaging book about the ethical Escort agency run by Antonia Murphy in a small town in New Zealand, a country where sex work is decriminalised. How she managed to find women available to start the business in a rural area is amazing in itself but her family backstory contains some issues that make the effort pretty impressive. It is her version of a true story, with pseudonyms disguising actual people but text messages are quoted verbatim that I suspect are genuine, and hilarious at times. Also her names for the clients seem to be genuine and very funny.
The truth about aspects of the sexual service itself were pretty confronting at times for me, but it is part of the experience of reading.and shows what is involved. She ran an ethical business where women could make real money, initially even providing free childcare.
The contacts she made and the groups who helped her setup the business and deal with the psychological aspects of trauma the women dealt with are outlined and referenced for the benefit of others. It's not for everyone, but reading it is easy because of Antonia's direct and funny style.
A gutsy performance in my opinion, and a good read
Highly recommended

[Angela Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the book for many readers, this is set in small town New Zealand and is the account of a woman who bravely, without previous experience, decides to set up a brothel in small town New Zealand.
Despite seeking advice from many in the business, the reality does not make for an easy or lucrative career for Antonia Murphy. Nothing new but the demands of many the clients are pretty icky. The male customers generally do not come out of it well! I was really pleased to read that the author has moved on in her life with a good man and in another town. The writing is good and I'll be curious to see what is next from Ms Murphy.

[Mrs Moa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely devoured this book in one sitting!

Faced with a husband looking for a way out of his responsibilities as a father and partner, judgement from her small community and a baby on the way, (which doesn’t belong to her current husband), Antonia needs to ignite her independence and learn how to support herself.

Fascinated that prostitution is legal in New Zealand, she decides to start her own escort agency that empowers the workers, despite no actual experience- only advice from reddit users and the NZ Prostitutions Collective and her own tenacity.

This is Antonia’s account of juggling her life as a mum, a lifestyle block/hobby farmer, a new partner and step mum, a madam and finding the balance between being a friend and boss to her staff - at the end of the day, she’s running a business, she’s not here to be your councillor.

Keep an open mind when reading this book, you’re exploring the world of sex work - conversations, blunt communication, taboo desires and positions are openly discussed without shame.

Thank you to the publisher for sending me this book, all opinions are my own.

[evamp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Equal parts hilarious, heartbreaking and fascinating. An incredible memoir!

[Barry Allan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Antonia and her husband, Peter, found themselves in New Zealand after sailing around the world from the USA with a (disabled) child and another on the way, so decided they need to set up camp here. Five years later, they're both bored - he decides he wants to run away to sea again, she decides its time to establish an "ethical, feminist brothel" in Whangārei. She ran The Bach for three years, 2017 - 2019: this book is about the first two years of that time (the last year, everything was running so smoothly, she has nothing to say about it). Publication generated a fair amount of publicity so when I see it in the library, I take a look and end up reading the whole thing in a week of visits to the library.

It's an interesting perspective: Antonia had no experience in the industry, didn't know the lingo, didn't know what to expect from the women who work there, the men who visited or society. She does at least do some homework (unlike on the TV show made from the book): she spends time in a business similar to what she wants, works closely with the NZ Prostitutes Collective. Her desire is for a place that is clean, safe, drug and gang free, and where the women make the call as to who they see, when to stop and what to provide. There's some unhappiness with her taking 50% (but this covers the costs of the business) and the lack of freedom to charge what they want: one character is particularly vociferous (but is possibly an amalgalm of voices).

She comes across as largely sympathetic to the position of the women who work there: some are doing it purely by choice (a corporate lawyer is mentioned, for example) but many out of economic necessity - mothers with bad or missing partners are common. She manifests a concern that she might be exploiting them, but is by and large satisfied that she is enabling them to enjoy a better life than they would otherwise have, and that they are not there agaqinst their will or doing things they don't want (this bit is tricky) to do. She portrays a lot of these women as being strong, fun and smart but stuck in bad places. Of course, some are broken with no choices, some are angry or hurting.

As for the guys, a lot don't make it through the initial text exchange - they expect too much, not respectful of the women or are generally rude (often all). Antonia puts strict rules in place for their conduct, and calls them on their behaviour if they fall below the standard. Most respond very meekly to her stern approach. Agreesive behaviour sees them banned, and there's a file on every client so the women know what to watch for. There is a period where the place really goes off the rails - the first summer, Antonia is struggling to pay the bills and there's an enormous demand for their services, to they open really late, which brings in drugs, drinks, bad behaviour. From all accounts they learn their lesson and things run smoothly.

The book is quite open about how badly guys can behave - there is some violence (but more women are injured by their partners than when working here) - but also how sweet many are. A lot don't even want sex, just to be listened to or touched [I can relate to this] or to live a wee fantasy for a while - the Bach's mission statetement is, after all, to provide a fantasy experience.

There's also quite a bit about the realities of running a business like this - trouble getting premises leads to them renting a motel, mostly run as a motel but with a few rooms for the business. I'd love to see the reviews from that period! Advertising is also tricky - both to get clients and women (which leads to some unusual approaches, including Tinder). They run into problems with the Council and planning rules - which Antonia solves through a clever interpretation of the law.

Life with her family is not forgotten - she writes about Peter's intermittent appearances, her taking up with the neighbour to form a blended family and about the challenges (and joys) presented by having a disabled son. Some of these kids are very young at the time: I do wonder how they'll feel about being featured in this book.

[E · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I say I go into books blind, I really mean blind, as I didn't realize this was a memoir until reading it. This story follows Antonia, who seemed bored out of her mind before finally wanting to run an escort services after sex work was decriminalized in New Zealand. She's an American woman, and that is very evident when reading this book, so the dialogues were very interesting to say the least.

People crying racism and how this is somehow against "drug users" have to be so real right now. If these are the comments that are being made by the workers, how do you hold the knife against her? Did we read the same book? As for the drug users, she's running a BUSINESS, at the end of the day she has to make tough decisions and she gets to write about that. It seems like people are just trying so hard to find something to hate. Are there some problematic parts to this book? Sure. Could she have handled things differently? Also, yes. But that's the whole point. The whole point, is so you can read this book and if you somehow decide to run an escort service, you can do things differently and go back to being Mother Theresa from your pedestal.

Anyways, for those considering to read this, please dismiss these Goodreads reviews and just form your own opinions. This book was addictive and I finished it in one sitting. So do with that information what you may.

[Amiea MacRae-Steed · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was my first DNF, I found the author’s perspective very confronting and, at times, unreliable. While memoirs are deeply personal, much of what she shared felt skewed or even untrue, which made it difficult to connect with her story.

One example is how she spoke about people not wanting to be her friend after she became pregnant to another man. While she framed herself as the victim, there seemed to be no acknowledgment of how her actions might have affected others. This lack of self-awareness continued throughout the book, especially when she dismissed the need for a resource consent for her “ethical escort agency” and acted as though it was absurd that the council had concerns—despite its location next to a childcare centre.

The way she brushed off these issues, as though they were everyone else’s problem and not her own responsibility, painted a strange and frustrating picture. While I understand this is her perspective, it felt disconnected from reality and made it hard to engage with her narrative.

Overall, I appreciate bold memoirs, but this one fell flat for me due to its lack of accountability and the author’s inability to reflect on how her actions impacted others.

[Rania T · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this memoir is extremely quick and easy to read (I managed to finish it in a day), I felt that some of the content was a little condescending. For example, the 'bobs' 'vagene' stereotype for South Asian males was quite prevalent and jarring. Although the author mentions that she employed a sensitivity reader, the name sounded Sri Lankan which is a completely different culture to that of North India/ Punjab.

Moreover, body negativity was also prevalent. There was one lady who apparently didn't get enough customers because she was a Size 16, which is the average female size in Australia/New Zealand; and NOT an American 16 by the way, so it felt that the writer was blaming the 'fatness' of this poor woman, instead of the weird men who were frequenting the establishment for a cheap thrill. The writer also praised anyone who was blonde, size 6 to 8 "because that's what men want" (again, not an American size 6 to 8 by the way) and white... as her meal ticket as a successful brothel madam. Interesting comments, considering the diversity of the society we live in.

All in all, this ethical escort agency was not so ethical after all, and especially when most of her business research was done on Reddit...

[Anežka Svobodová · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read some pretty bad reviews here, but I think each reader should distinguish between the quality of the book as a piece of literature and the character of the narrator, Antonia and her personal story and decisions.

Some of the criticism focused on Antonia being racist about South Asian men. I think she tried to describe her experience as it was, without making it sound more politically and racially correct than the reality was. I appreciated how authentic the texts and conversations were, that gave me insights into how the clients of the agency communicated and thought.

Madam Murphy made the story genuine by revealing her family story, about her own household, finances, partners and kids. This helped to depict her motivations and why she needed the job so badly and what drove her to run the agency.

Overall I enjoyed the book because it allowed me to see into the lives of some underprivileged, yet brave and determined women who used the means they had available.

One thing I liked about Antonia as a business woman was how she learned to never bargain about prices and set her own conditions.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having never read a book about sex work in NZ, this opened my eyes and mind to a hidden part of the world I had absolutely no idea about. Being a memoir and told from the perspective of an "escort agency" owner, it obviously is bias towards a certain viewpoint. It does still give us loads of insight about the industry of sex working in NZ, and some perspective to the girls themselves. The author being American in NZ is coming at this line of work with a new set of perspective.
Personally I could not relate to how she jumped from needing money for her family to "I'll open a brothel as prostitution is legal", but thats what makes this a very interesting and easy read.
Be aware there are a lot of snips from Client texts and goes into detail on what services are for offer.
Overall an eye opener for anyone wanting to find out a bit more about this area of work.
Thanks to Harpercollins NZ for a gifted copy of this book.

[Jesamin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a genuinely engaging read with so many funny anecdotes. If there was a half star I would give this a 3.5…However I think that the ethical label this author has given her business is stretching it a bit. There’s no security, there’s one shift lead essentially juggling everything. There’s a huge confidentiality breach, a worker with the wrong visa. The last one is particularly shocking to me as the HuffPost article she wrote even says that it’s illegal and therefore unacceptable to the business to do this…where are the ethics again. For a memoir it’s really good, I’ve finished it in two days.

Having known sex workers I wouldn’t say that it’s the worst place they could be. But I think Wren was right; the racism, the severe rule bending and casual dismissal of trauma added up to a really bad picture.

To summarise: it was interesting, I’m conflicted that this book and tv show provide a further stream of income for someone who could really have done better.

[Shannon Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir is raw and unfiltered, offering an honest look into a world that may challenge some readers. It shares the diverse stories of the women who worked at “The Bach” and the complex dynamics within the agency. As Antonia noted, some people were never going to fit into the idea of an "ethical agency," comparing their presence to “tossing bottles on the blaze.”

The book includes explicit details about client requests and the language used, which is essential for authenticity. It doesn’t sugarcoat anything, as doing so would diminish its impact. I also appreciated the humor in the nicknames given to clients, a relatable habit seen in many professions.

At its heart, this memoir emphasizes the importance of consent, ethically run agencies, and empowerment, leaving a powerful message for readers.

[Eleanor McClintock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Discovered this well written memoir through the new TV series airing atm. I don’t really care for the show but I’ve loved this read! (As an audiobook)

This was such an interesting insight into Antonia’s multifaceted life as a woman, mum and business operator; navigating the challenges of working within the sex work industry.

I loved learning more about the ethical nuances and social constructs of sex work, and the client anecdotes fed my desire for some funny, saucy gossip.

Although I love memoirs for their ability to reveal a “foreign” or “different” way of life to me, I also found great relatability in this book- in how women view men, how men view women, and how much power women truly hold.

Recommend!