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Invisible Men of Adoption
This book is about the fathers of children who were raised in other, adoptive families. Frequently, in writings about the separation of parent and child, the emphasis is on the mother and her son or daughter. The father is an absent, or at best a peripheral figure. The Invisible Men of Adoption brings the father into the open and accords him his proper place within the family of origin. Through this exposure of the ‘invisible men’, the reader will gain a full appreciation of what it means to be a birth father.
The Invisible Men of Adoption also explores and demonstrates the benefits of birth fathers being included in the mending of emotional wounds caused by the initial separation of the three family members. This key role for the birth father in a tripartite setting has not been addressed by anyone else in adoption literature.
The Invisible Men of Adoption is the culmination of Gary Coles’ writings about the place of birth fathers in adoption.
Gary Coles is a birth father. His first-born son was raised in New Zealand by adoptive parents. He has spent most of his adult life living and working in Australia.
Gary began exploring his adoption experience in 1992. He made his first presentation to an adoption conference in 1998, coincidentally in the city where his adopted son lives. Since then he has written extensively about adoption, particularly bringing the viewpoint of birth fathers into the discussions. He has published three books (in 2004, 2005 and 2010) and more than forty papers and articles (1998-2011), made presentations to the last three Australian Adoption Conferences (2000, 2004, 2008), presented seminars in Australia and New Zealand, and been a keynote speaker on three occasions at Concerned United Birthparents’ Retreats in the USA.
In his present role as manager of a post-adoption services organisation, Gary oversees the provision of practical and emotional assistance to those who seek or have found the other members of their birth families. He also educates the public and the helping professions about the impact of adoption.
The Invisible Men of Adoption also explores and demonstrates the benefits of birth fathers being included in the mending of emotional wounds caused by the initial separation of the three family members. This key role for the birth father in a tripartite setting has not been addressed by anyone else in adoption literature.
The Invisible Men of Adoption is the culmination of Gary Coles’ writings about the place of birth fathers in adoption.
Gary Coles is a birth father. His first-born son was raised in New Zealand by adoptive parents. He has spent most of his adult life living and working in Australia.
Gary began exploring his adoption experience in 1992. He made his first presentation to an adoption conference in 1998, coincidentally in the city where his adopted son lives. Since then he has written extensively about adoption, particularly bringing the viewpoint of birth fathers into the discussions. He has published three books (in 2004, 2005 and 2010) and more than forty papers and articles (1998-2011), made presentations to the last three Australian Adoption Conferences (2000, 2004, 2008), presented seminars in Australia and New Zealand, and been a keynote speaker on three occasions at Concerned United Birthparents’ Retreats in the USA.
In his present role as manager of a post-adoption services organisation, Gary oversees the provision of practical and emotional assistance to those who seek or have found the other members of their birth families. He also educates the public and the helping professions about the impact of adoption.
361 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 20, 2011
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April 26, 2019
What Might Have Been (and wgat may yet be)
If only I had been prepared, by reading this prior to my daughter's contacting me, the reunion phase might have had a more positive initial outcome. Until I met her I had no earthly idea the degree to which the fact of her adoption had affected me. Read this book even if you have no intention of reuniting with your lost child. Now, pardon me while I resume my sorrowing. I will not go through my life as though this never happened. I wept through the entire book. Thank you for this work, Gary.
If only I had been prepared, by reading this prior to my daughter's contacting me, the reunion phase might have had a more positive initial outcome. Until I met her I had no earthly idea the degree to which the fact of her adoption had affected me. Read this book even if you have no intention of reuniting with your lost child. Now, pardon me while I resume my sorrowing. I will not go through my life as though this never happened. I wept through the entire book. Thank you for this work, Gary.
Displaying 1 of 1 review