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Skinners
Los Angeles, the City of Angels. At least, that’s what the brochure says. What it fails to mention is the earthquakes. Oh, and the flesh-eating creatures that are lying dormant beneath the concrete, waiting for the chance to surface once again. Their wait is over… A quake tears the city apart, but that’s the least of the Angelenos’ worries. They’re about to experience hell on earth. Fossor Scarabaeus – clown-beetles – are emerging from the cracks, and they’re not in LA for the sights. An arrogant actor, an action movie director, a B-movie starlet, the owner of a bar and the ‘A’ Platoon of LAFD must work together to survive the creatures. Or risk becoming dinners for the Skinners…
- GenresBizarro Fiction
114 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 19, 2013
3 people are currently reading
23 people want to read
About the author
Adam Millard
131 books179 followersAdam Millard is the author of twenty novels, twelve novellas, and more than two hundred short stories, which can be found in various collections and anthologies. Probably best known for his post-apocalyptic fiction, Adam also writes fantasy/horror for children and Bizarro fiction for several publishers. His work has recently been translated for the German market.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
May 21, 2019
A plague of beetles with clowns on their backs that erupt from the ground during an earthquake in Los Angeles. They have horribly nasty teeth which they use to tear the flesh off people, and they are everywhere.
Adam Millard books are just plain fun and this one doesn't fail to disappoint. Gore and cheesy humor combined, like reading a B horror movie.
Adam Millard books are just plain fun and this one doesn't fail to disappoint. Gore and cheesy humor combined, like reading a B horror movie.
September 11, 2013
Who knew a brush with a plague of skin-stealing flay beetles could be so much fun?!!
In "Skinners--" a splendidly Splatterpunk tale with gore galore and nonstop action-- Crowded Quarantine Publications' Adam Millard ("Dead Cells," "Dead Line," etc.), spins a yarn about a group of fascinating rogues and rogue-ettes who must not only survive, but figure out how to save the city of Los Angeles from a plague of flesh-eating beetles called `skinners'--or the town will be toast faster than you can say `pancreas' and `pureed.'
First, let's get one thing straight: these skinner-beetles will kill you. Not only are there clowns emblazoned on their shells--which is enough to make most people pee their pants--they will flay you. They ain't just gonna cut you. They will shred your fucking duodenum, or worse; just ask the poor bastard who got his knob gnawed off by a swarm of these dermis-destroyers (an exceptional delight for me!)
Gore aside, what really stood out, in my opinion, was the dialogue. Millard is an author who should be writing dialogue for T.V. He has a knack for sassy, saucy conversation that will have you rolling on the floor throughout the pages. His narrative is also priceless. Note:
"A small swarm had emerged from an old lady's bidet in Lick Skillet, Tennessee. Luckily, the lady hadn't been rinsing her asshole at the time." An old lady almost got her butt bit off in Lick Skillet, Tennessee. What's not to like?!!
This kind of colorful imagery fits perfectly into a novel where a porn actress, a porn director, a scientist, and various others fight to save Los Angeles from clown-shelled cooties who will strip you of your birthday suit faster than you can say "Lubiderm ain't gonna help me here."
Overall, the fun isn't in the `why,' but in the `how:' how are the heroes going to stop the skinners? How are they even going to survive? Although the ending may not have come as a shock (at least for me), it didn't matter. This tale isn't about the destination, it's about the ride: with cool characters whizzing out the kind of snappy dialogue most of us only wish we could think of, ceaselessly colorful narrative, and steady pop culture references, the journey was a satisfying ride in itself.
Bottom line? `Skinners' is like riding a convertible 90 miles an hour down the freeway on a blazin' hot day with a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos in one hand and a stick of dynamite in the other.
In other words, it's a hell of a lot of fun.
In "Skinners--" a splendidly Splatterpunk tale with gore galore and nonstop action-- Crowded Quarantine Publications' Adam Millard ("Dead Cells," "Dead Line," etc.), spins a yarn about a group of fascinating rogues and rogue-ettes who must not only survive, but figure out how to save the city of Los Angeles from a plague of flesh-eating beetles called `skinners'--or the town will be toast faster than you can say `pancreas' and `pureed.'
First, let's get one thing straight: these skinner-beetles will kill you. Not only are there clowns emblazoned on their shells--which is enough to make most people pee their pants--they will flay you. They ain't just gonna cut you. They will shred your fucking duodenum, or worse; just ask the poor bastard who got his knob gnawed off by a swarm of these dermis-destroyers (an exceptional delight for me!)
Gore aside, what really stood out, in my opinion, was the dialogue. Millard is an author who should be writing dialogue for T.V. He has a knack for sassy, saucy conversation that will have you rolling on the floor throughout the pages. His narrative is also priceless. Note:
"A small swarm had emerged from an old lady's bidet in Lick Skillet, Tennessee. Luckily, the lady hadn't been rinsing her asshole at the time." An old lady almost got her butt bit off in Lick Skillet, Tennessee. What's not to like?!!
This kind of colorful imagery fits perfectly into a novel where a porn actress, a porn director, a scientist, and various others fight to save Los Angeles from clown-shelled cooties who will strip you of your birthday suit faster than you can say "Lubiderm ain't gonna help me here."
Overall, the fun isn't in the `why,' but in the `how:' how are the heroes going to stop the skinners? How are they even going to survive? Although the ending may not have come as a shock (at least for me), it didn't matter. This tale isn't about the destination, it's about the ride: with cool characters whizzing out the kind of snappy dialogue most of us only wish we could think of, ceaselessly colorful narrative, and steady pop culture references, the journey was a satisfying ride in itself.
Bottom line? `Skinners' is like riding a convertible 90 miles an hour down the freeway on a blazin' hot day with a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos in one hand and a stick of dynamite in the other.
In other words, it's a hell of a lot of fun.
October 31, 2021
Attack of the killer clown beetles...
"It was the worst pain he'd ever felt, and he'd been an altar boy"
Bizarre and very funny. Straight to business with this story. Full of gore and funny one-liners.
Very enjoyable bit of escapism!
"It was the worst pain he'd ever felt, and he'd been an altar boy"
Bizarre and very funny. Straight to business with this story. Full of gore and funny one-liners.
Very enjoyable bit of escapism!
January 15, 2022
Campy gory fun.
May 18, 2016
Los Angeles, the City of Angels. At least, that’s what the brochure says. What it fails to mention is the earthquakes. Oh, and the flesh-eating creatures that are lying dormant beneath the concrete, waiting for the chance to surface once again. Their wait is over… A quake tears the city apart, but that’s the least of the Angelenos’ worries. They’re about to experience hell on earth. Fossor Scarabaeus – clown-beetles – are emerging from the cracks, and they’re not in LA for the sights. An arrogant actor, an action movie director, a B-movie starlet, the owner of a bar and the ‘A’ Platoon of LAFD must work together to survive the creatures. Or risk becoming dinners for the Skinners…
November 26, 2015
Short, as sharp as a Skinner's rotating set of teeth and hilariously funny - if people getting skinned alive can ever be funny. This book drives a fire truck full of clichés through your sensibilities and you never even flinch. Adam Millard is like Douglas Adams, but with the morality filter disabled. Read it!
September 10, 2014
review coming soon
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews