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Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving
A contemplative guide to finding satisfaction right where you are, understanding what it is within us leading to dissatisfaction, and find long-lasting fulfillment--inspired by the ancient Christian tradition of Benedictine stability
Lydia Sohn was a serial burn-it-down-and-make-a-fresh-start girl, until she encountered the ancient Benedictine vow of stability in her late 20s, and her world was transformed. Sohn took a pause and evaluated what she wanted out of life--identity, purpose, community--and had a lightbulb everything she needed to live the life she desired was already within her reach.
In Here, Lydia pushes back against our age of constant reinvention and the cultural message that we should do whatever it takes to get where we want to go. Instead, her message is the stay. Stay right here and cultivate the immense potential and beauty that lies within your current circumstances.
Sohn understands the allure of nomadism. She says that kind of nomadic life would protect us from the pain and stress of relational conflicts that inevitably arise when we’re embedded in intricate webs of relationships and commitments. But time and time again that the restlessness, FOMO, and disappointment we’re trying to escape always comes along for the ride. That’s because they’re not the result of our circumstances; they reside within us.
Drawing on a variety of spiritual teachers across different faith traditions, Here inspires readers to work to both embrace and transform their circumstances with commitment and stability—in order that they might find true contentment right where they are.
Lydia Sohn was a serial burn-it-down-and-make-a-fresh-start girl, until she encountered the ancient Benedictine vow of stability in her late 20s, and her world was transformed. Sohn took a pause and evaluated what she wanted out of life--identity, purpose, community--and had a lightbulb everything she needed to live the life she desired was already within her reach.
In Here, Lydia pushes back against our age of constant reinvention and the cultural message that we should do whatever it takes to get where we want to go. Instead, her message is the stay. Stay right here and cultivate the immense potential and beauty that lies within your current circumstances.
Sohn understands the allure of nomadism. She says that kind of nomadic life would protect us from the pain and stress of relational conflicts that inevitably arise when we’re embedded in intricate webs of relationships and commitments. But time and time again that the restlessness, FOMO, and disappointment we’re trying to escape always comes along for the ride. That’s because they’re not the result of our circumstances; they reside within us.
Drawing on a variety of spiritual teachers across different faith traditions, Here inspires readers to work to both embrace and transform their circumstances with commitment and stability—in order that they might find true contentment right where they are.
208 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 25, 2025
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October 22, 2024
Are you happy right now?
Are you happy with your relationships? Are you happy with your job? Are you happy in your home? Are you happy with your friends?
Or are you getting that itch? Maybe a different partner would be better. Maybe it's time to try to move up in the world. Maybe a different city would offer a better life.
With "Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving," author Lydia Sohn explores this culture where leaving, moving up, moving on, and moving over have become the things to do and where the idea of staying, working to be content, is considered rather antiquated.
Often using her own life story as examples, at times to the book's detriment, Sohn weaves in a variety of spiritual truths to encourage us to embrace the life that we're living and the world that we have before us.
We are blessed in the here and now and Sohn's gentle guidance encourages us to consciously choose staying when many others might choose leaving. It's an approach influenced by Benedictine beliefs and practices and, for Sohn, an approach that has Ms. Sohn encourages us to stop, take a step back, look closely at how blessed we truly are and enjoy the "here" that we have been given.
I've wrestled with how to review a book that offers gentle, valuable wisdom while also serving up lots of the red flags borne out of a life of trauma. There's no denying that Sohn's embrace of recognizing the value of staying and of realizing that our desire to reinvent often comes from issues that follow us along each journey is a valuable, meaningful embrace and an embrace that has served her well. While I couldn't help but feel like Sohn came from a bit of a place of privilege, "Here" is a reminder that the desire to leave is a universal desire regardless of our backgrounds, our economics, our ethnicities, and/or our spiritual beliefs. We all struggle with it in a myriad of ways.
Sohn hints at those who have no choice but to stay. She also hints at those who have obstacles to leaving, however, what I really longed for with "Here" was some discussion around those who've experienced trauma - domestic violence victims/survivors, abuse survivors, sexual assault survivors, war survivors, and even those, like myself, with disabilities. This "stay" spirituality has been used as a weapon throughout history and I longed for "Here" to recognize that weaponry and to speak against it.
In short, while I think "Here" is valuable for those drawn to the allure of nomadism and trying to move against it, I'm not sure I'd recommend it for those with trauma backgrounds who are struggling with leave/stay, guilt over leaving, guilt over staying, confusion about remaking one's life, and attempting to rediscover and redefine the world in which they live.
I can't help but feel that I'm being hypercritical of "Here." That's not my intent. However, as someone who grew up in an abusive cycle and who has experienced significant traumas, I can't help but long for "stay" teachings that emphasize "stay where God calls you" or "stay where you're safe" or "leave if you're unsafe" or any other myriad of teachings that emphasize we're all made in God's image and deserve to live in a place that reflects that. Sohn begins to address these concerns briefly, however, a deep dive into this issue, even one chapter, could have allowed "Here" to add tremendous depth and meaning to an even broader audience.
That said, personal concerns aside, "Here" is a meaningful exploration of what it means to commit to our lives and to embrace stability in our seemingly constant search for contentment.
Are you happy with your relationships? Are you happy with your job? Are you happy in your home? Are you happy with your friends?
Or are you getting that itch? Maybe a different partner would be better. Maybe it's time to try to move up in the world. Maybe a different city would offer a better life.
With "Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving," author Lydia Sohn explores this culture where leaving, moving up, moving on, and moving over have become the things to do and where the idea of staying, working to be content, is considered rather antiquated.
Often using her own life story as examples, at times to the book's detriment, Sohn weaves in a variety of spiritual truths to encourage us to embrace the life that we're living and the world that we have before us.
We are blessed in the here and now and Sohn's gentle guidance encourages us to consciously choose staying when many others might choose leaving. It's an approach influenced by Benedictine beliefs and practices and, for Sohn, an approach that has Ms. Sohn encourages us to stop, take a step back, look closely at how blessed we truly are and enjoy the "here" that we have been given.
I've wrestled with how to review a book that offers gentle, valuable wisdom while also serving up lots of the red flags borne out of a life of trauma. There's no denying that Sohn's embrace of recognizing the value of staying and of realizing that our desire to reinvent often comes from issues that follow us along each journey is a valuable, meaningful embrace and an embrace that has served her well. While I couldn't help but feel like Sohn came from a bit of a place of privilege, "Here" is a reminder that the desire to leave is a universal desire regardless of our backgrounds, our economics, our ethnicities, and/or our spiritual beliefs. We all struggle with it in a myriad of ways.
Sohn hints at those who have no choice but to stay. She also hints at those who have obstacles to leaving, however, what I really longed for with "Here" was some discussion around those who've experienced trauma - domestic violence victims/survivors, abuse survivors, sexual assault survivors, war survivors, and even those, like myself, with disabilities. This "stay" spirituality has been used as a weapon throughout history and I longed for "Here" to recognize that weaponry and to speak against it.
In short, while I think "Here" is valuable for those drawn to the allure of nomadism and trying to move against it, I'm not sure I'd recommend it for those with trauma backgrounds who are struggling with leave/stay, guilt over leaving, guilt over staying, confusion about remaking one's life, and attempting to rediscover and redefine the world in which they live.
I can't help but feel that I'm being hypercritical of "Here." That's not my intent. However, as someone who grew up in an abusive cycle and who has experienced significant traumas, I can't help but long for "stay" teachings that emphasize "stay where God calls you" or "stay where you're safe" or "leave if you're unsafe" or any other myriad of teachings that emphasize we're all made in God's image and deserve to live in a place that reflects that. Sohn begins to address these concerns briefly, however, a deep dive into this issue, even one chapter, could have allowed "Here" to add tremendous depth and meaning to an even broader audience.
That said, personal concerns aside, "Here" is a meaningful exploration of what it means to commit to our lives and to embrace stability in our seemingly constant search for contentment.
Read
May 9, 2025I decided to DNF this at 30%. It’s interesting that this book and Annie B. Jones’ book about staying came out around the same time. The two are wildly different reading experiences. Jones’ book is memoir based and while she has religious views, it’s not the focus of her book. Sohn comes at staying from a religious angle (which feels like a mix of Christianity and new age to me). On the whole, though, it is Jones’ book that spoke to me at a spiritual level.
I am someone who is very tempted by the next shiny thing, and I did try to interrogate myself to see if it was feelings of conviction that were getting under my skin while reading, but I don’t think it is. I feel like the times when it is dangerous or unwise to stay are played down, and that doesn’t sit well with me. I know many people
who have stayed in a church situation longer than they should have in part because someone told them it’s important to be a person who stays.
I am someone who is very tempted by the next shiny thing, and I did try to interrogate myself to see if it was feelings of conviction that were getting under my skin while reading, but I don’t think it is. I feel like the times when it is dangerous or unwise to stay are played down, and that doesn’t sit well with me. I know many people
who have stayed in a church situation longer than they should have in part because someone told them it’s important to be a person who stays.
March 2, 2025
Thank you to PRH audio for my advanced copy.
I read Here as the author is part of my local community and I was curious to see her writing. Although this is considered a more spiritual type of book I appreciated the message about finding contentment in your “home” wherever it is and building connections.
I read Here as the author is part of my local community and I was curious to see her writing. Although this is considered a more spiritual type of book I appreciated the message about finding contentment in your “home” wherever it is and building connections.
March 31, 2025
A kind of spiritual memoir that is both approachable and challenging to my spiritual journey. The subtitle captures my feelings about Vancouver in a nutshell, and Sohn offers poignantly helpful reflections/questions for this season of life.
December 11, 2024
Lydia Sohn's book Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving presents good food for thought and reflection. We're so often in motion, planning our next goal or acquisition, looking for the next thing that convinces us that it'll make us happy and content, busy with activities and plans, that we seldom stop to enjoy the moment and feel the joy and contentment of being where we are and what we already have. Here.
Based on the Benedectine tenet of stability, this book asks us to consider that while the desire to move on to something new and exciting may be valid, it can also stand in the way of realizing that wherever you go, you are there, and that the real source of your discontent may lie within yourself and not your circumstances. That there can be immense value in staying where you are and looking for ways to change yourself rather than your location. However, the author is quick to state that if your circumstances put you in danger or at risk for harm, by all means go!
There is discussion of values-based living (motivated by internal rewards) versus goals-based living (motivated by external rewards), references to studies on happiness, contentment, the value of community and commitment, and reflections/stories from the author's life experiences, both personal, and as a United Methodist minister. Each chapter is followed by Questions for Reflection to help you think about how the chapter topic relates to your own situation.
I found this an interesting read and recommend it highly.
My thanks to Convergent Books for allowing me to access a digital review copy of the book via NetGalley. Publication is 2/25/25. All opinions stated in this review are my own and are freely given.
Based on the Benedectine tenet of stability, this book asks us to consider that while the desire to move on to something new and exciting may be valid, it can also stand in the way of realizing that wherever you go, you are there, and that the real source of your discontent may lie within yourself and not your circumstances. That there can be immense value in staying where you are and looking for ways to change yourself rather than your location. However, the author is quick to state that if your circumstances put you in danger or at risk for harm, by all means go!
There is discussion of values-based living (motivated by internal rewards) versus goals-based living (motivated by external rewards), references to studies on happiness, contentment, the value of community and commitment, and reflections/stories from the author's life experiences, both personal, and as a United Methodist minister. Each chapter is followed by Questions for Reflection to help you think about how the chapter topic relates to your own situation.
I found this an interesting read and recommend it highly.
My thanks to Convergent Books for allowing me to access a digital review copy of the book via NetGalley. Publication is 2/25/25. All opinions stated in this review are my own and are freely given.
November 11, 2024
Pastor Lydia Sohn's reflective writings in Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving gives the reader not only a personal glimpse into her life and culture, but also sheds light on a topic of staying instead of leaving. So much of our society today tends to leave, whether this is a job, where you live, relationships, religions, or other facet of life. The "grass is greener on the other side" mentality is rampant in our society and cultures today. But Lydia challenges the reader to look at the other side and reflectively ask what it would look like to stay. Taking her studies and practices from the Benedictine practice of stability and being present, Lydia challenges the reader to look within and be aware of the intricacies of life through our senses, being fully immersed in God's goodness and His blessings to us. Contentment is essential. Being able to recognize when to stay and when to leave are also areas Lydia's book envelops, and she does a wonderful job validating those who have suffered trauma or are enduring a difficult situation, that in some circumstances, it is best to leave. The book is well-rounded and gives emphasis on the stability and contentment component of the Benedictines, while also giving light to those who need to flee, for their safety and their health. The appendix and resources at the back of the book are wonderful and full of great content, and each chapter ends with a reflective questioning section, allowing the reader to dig deeper into the concept of staying. Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent books for the ARC of this book. All opinions are my own.
January 25, 2025
I’ve been following Lydia Sohn for six years now after stumbling upon her absolutely by chance. Her calm, steadfast wisdom helped me tremendously through the pandemic so I was thrilled to read her debut book “Here: A Spirituality of Staying In A Culture of Leaving”.
“Here” is based on the Benedictine tenet of stability. This drew me in immediately having grown up in a home whose primary tenet was leaving situations that were in the least bit difficult.
Sohn, whose parents immigrated to the US from Korea, has personal experience which she shares vulnerably here, which illuminate each chapter. Hearing her experiences about leaving and learning to stay offers the reader a place to connect with the emotions and lessons which helped her to find a greater sense of stability.
“Here” offers a great discussion on the difference between goals-based living and values-based living in a way I haven’t read before. It was so perfectly timed as I had to make some major professional decisions and her words guided me to feel content in my choices.
I appreciated her reminders for folks in unsafe places/relationships to go to safety. This book is not meant to be interpreted as a suggestion to stay in all situations but rather to practice discernment, some of the reflections and spiritual practices included in the appendix to determine why you want to search for the “next best thing.”
“Here: A Spirituality of Staying In A Culture of Leaving” was the perfect book for me to read as 2024 came to a close and I know it’s one I will return to again and again.
“Here” is based on the Benedictine tenet of stability. This drew me in immediately having grown up in a home whose primary tenet was leaving situations that were in the least bit difficult.
Sohn, whose parents immigrated to the US from Korea, has personal experience which she shares vulnerably here, which illuminate each chapter. Hearing her experiences about leaving and learning to stay offers the reader a place to connect with the emotions and lessons which helped her to find a greater sense of stability.
“Here” offers a great discussion on the difference between goals-based living and values-based living in a way I haven’t read before. It was so perfectly timed as I had to make some major professional decisions and her words guided me to feel content in my choices.
I appreciated her reminders for folks in unsafe places/relationships to go to safety. This book is not meant to be interpreted as a suggestion to stay in all situations but rather to practice discernment, some of the reflections and spiritual practices included in the appendix to determine why you want to search for the “next best thing.”
“Here: A Spirituality of Staying In A Culture of Leaving” was the perfect book for me to read as 2024 came to a close and I know it’s one I will return to again and again.
January 6, 2025
Here
A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving
by Lydia Sohn
Genre: Christian/Self-Help
Pages: 224
ISBN: 9780593727645
Publisher: Convergent Books
Pub date: Feb. 25, 2025
Here has an interesting premise—practicing the Benedictine discipline of stability leads to fulfilment. It’s a pushback against the common belief that if a person is unhappy where they are, then they should leave. Instead of leaving, a person should commit to where they are, providing it’s safe and healthy to do so. (Oppression and abuse are never acceptable.) It’s a point of view change. A “where can I go” mindset changes to “what changes do I need to make within myself instead?” Changing oneself and putting down roots leads to stability, community, and fulfillment.
Here doesn’t explain or analyze this discipline. Instead, it is more of a spiritual memoir. Sohn doesn’t come from a background of rootedness. Her parents immigrated from South Korea when she was a small child. They moved multiple times during her childhood. As an adult she wanted to put down roots, and this principal of stability, of putting down deep roots in a community, appealed to her. She has integrated this Benedictine principal into her life, and it has worked well. If you are someone seeking direction on how to become more rooted where you are, how to commit to a community, then give Here a try. 4/5 stars.
Thanks to NetGalley and Convergent Books for a free e-copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving
by Lydia Sohn
Genre: Christian/Self-Help
Pages: 224
ISBN: 9780593727645
Publisher: Convergent Books
Pub date: Feb. 25, 2025
Here has an interesting premise—practicing the Benedictine discipline of stability leads to fulfilment. It’s a pushback against the common belief that if a person is unhappy where they are, then they should leave. Instead of leaving, a person should commit to where they are, providing it’s safe and healthy to do so. (Oppression and abuse are never acceptable.) It’s a point of view change. A “where can I go” mindset changes to “what changes do I need to make within myself instead?” Changing oneself and putting down roots leads to stability, community, and fulfillment.
Here doesn’t explain or analyze this discipline. Instead, it is more of a spiritual memoir. Sohn doesn’t come from a background of rootedness. Her parents immigrated from South Korea when she was a small child. They moved multiple times during her childhood. As an adult she wanted to put down roots, and this principal of stability, of putting down deep roots in a community, appealed to her. She has integrated this Benedictine principal into her life, and it has worked well. If you are someone seeking direction on how to become more rooted where you are, how to commit to a community, then give Here a try. 4/5 stars.
Thanks to NetGalley and Convergent Books for a free e-copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
February 27, 2025
Here
A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving
by Lydia Sohn
Pub DateFeb 25 2025
Convergent Books
Christian| Self-Help
Convergent Books and Netgalley provided me with a copy of Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving.
Lydia Sohn was a serial burn-it-down-and-start-over girl until she encountered the Rule of St. Benedict and its vow of stability. Sohn took a pause to consider what she wanted out of life—identity, purpose, community—and had a lightbulb moment: Everything she needed to live the life she desired was already within her reach.When Sohn paused to reflect on what she wanted out of life-identity, purpose, community-she had a lightbulb moment: everything she needed to live the life she desired was already within reach.When Sohn paused to reflect on what she wanted out of life-identity, purpose, community-she had a lightbulb moment: everything she needed to lead the life she desired was already within her reach.
hThe cultural message that we should do whatever it takes to achieve our goals is pushed back against here. Sohn's message, on the other hand, is to stay. Keep cultivating the potential and beauty that lie dormant within you.
Using both personal narrative and spiritual reflection, Here encourages readers to embrace and transform their circumstances through commitment and stability—to find true contentment wherever they are.
I give Here three out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving
by Lydia Sohn
Pub DateFeb 25 2025
Convergent Books
Christian| Self-Help
Convergent Books and Netgalley provided me with a copy of Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving.
Lydia Sohn was a serial burn-it-down-and-start-over girl until she encountered the Rule of St. Benedict and its vow of stability. Sohn took a pause to consider what she wanted out of life—identity, purpose, community—and had a lightbulb moment: Everything she needed to live the life she desired was already within her reach.When Sohn paused to reflect on what she wanted out of life-identity, purpose, community-she had a lightbulb moment: everything she needed to live the life she desired was already within reach.When Sohn paused to reflect on what she wanted out of life-identity, purpose, community-she had a lightbulb moment: everything she needed to lead the life she desired was already within her reach.
hThe cultural message that we should do whatever it takes to achieve our goals is pushed back against here. Sohn's message, on the other hand, is to stay. Keep cultivating the potential and beauty that lie dormant within you.
Using both personal narrative and spiritual reflection, Here encourages readers to embrace and transform their circumstances through commitment and stability—to find true contentment wherever they are.
I give Here three out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
February 22, 2025
This is a personal account of Sohn working her way to understanding the Benedictine principle of stability. She helps us understand our own restlessness, our thinking that if we could just change our circumstances our restlessness would cease. But we take ourselves with us wherever we go, whatever external circumstances we change.
Sohn found her ground in the Benedictine rule of stability. We have been given a lot, a combination of what we have chosen and what we have been given by God. Sohn encourages us to realize, “All of life is a gift given to us by grace.” (690/2322) I was particularly struck by her teaching on gratitude as a vital aspect of the spirituality of stability. Gratitude is a state of being, she writes. It is an inner orientation that enables us to embrace who we are and the lot we have been given. (It is not about only those things we think are good.)
Sohn gives insights and personal examples from her life to help us think about stability and develop it within ourselves. She has provided questions at the end of each chapter for reflection or group discussion. This is a good book for those who desire to develop an inner spiritual stability regardless of external circumstances.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.
Sohn found her ground in the Benedictine rule of stability. We have been given a lot, a combination of what we have chosen and what we have been given by God. Sohn encourages us to realize, “All of life is a gift given to us by grace.” (690/2322) I was particularly struck by her teaching on gratitude as a vital aspect of the spirituality of stability. Gratitude is a state of being, she writes. It is an inner orientation that enables us to embrace who we are and the lot we have been given. (It is not about only those things we think are good.)
Sohn gives insights and personal examples from her life to help us think about stability and develop it within ourselves. She has provided questions at the end of each chapter for reflection or group discussion. This is a good book for those who desire to develop an inner spiritual stability regardless of external circumstances.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.
October 30, 2024
There's a lot of books about leaving, this is a first that I've seen about staying.
"The lot you find yourself in right now is a mixture of what you've chosen and what you've been given. No matter, receive it. Tend to it, nurture it, be grateful for it. Quit looking at other lots. God will meet you in your own." - Chapter 2
This book gently guides the reader to consider staying when they feel like leaving. I think the most helpful section was in chapter 4 where she outlines some practical ways to reframe your thinking around the feelings of wanting to leave. This book doesn't ignore the tough situations we might find ourselves, rather it gives the reader freedom to consider deeply what the practice of staying might actually offer. Topics like restlessness, questioning, finding home, perseverance, vision, and values are covered in this book. I am reading this book along side of Emily P Freeman's book "How to Walk into a Room" and I think they go together perfectly. There's a gorgeous tension in discerning your right step and knowing whether it hurts because it's bad or if it hurts because it's hard. I highly recommend this book to anyone thinking about leaving--a job, a relationship, a place, etc.
*I was given an advanced copy of this book in exchange for honest review.*
"The lot you find yourself in right now is a mixture of what you've chosen and what you've been given. No matter, receive it. Tend to it, nurture it, be grateful for it. Quit looking at other lots. God will meet you in your own." - Chapter 2
This book gently guides the reader to consider staying when they feel like leaving. I think the most helpful section was in chapter 4 where she outlines some practical ways to reframe your thinking around the feelings of wanting to leave. This book doesn't ignore the tough situations we might find ourselves, rather it gives the reader freedom to consider deeply what the practice of staying might actually offer. Topics like restlessness, questioning, finding home, perseverance, vision, and values are covered in this book. I am reading this book along side of Emily P Freeman's book "How to Walk into a Room" and I think they go together perfectly. There's a gorgeous tension in discerning your right step and knowing whether it hurts because it's bad or if it hurts because it's hard. I highly recommend this book to anyone thinking about leaving--a job, a relationship, a place, etc.
*I was given an advanced copy of this book in exchange for honest review.*
January 24, 2025
4.5 stars, rounded up.
For any and all of us who find ourselves wanting to cut and run when life gets hard, when things don't go our way, or we are in a space of discomfort, Here by Lydia Sohn is for us. I related so much to the author's experiences and her questions about being in the right place and doing the right things. Her simultaneous desire for a feeling of home and a sense of adventure is one that I think has a distinct audience. I highlighted so many passages and feel that this book came at the right time in my life, a time of unsettledness. I especially appreciated the metaphor of "trying things on for size" and that staying is not so restrictive that we stay miserable or in unhealthy situations. It is more so a call to question one's wanderlust and see if building gratitude and contentment could make all the difference. Each chapter included helpful reflection questions that I know I will be coming back to and the author's favorite versions of lectio divina and the examen have already come in handy. Overall, I'm a fan of this book and its contents.
Thank you to Convergent Books and NetGalley for the DRC. All thoughts are my genuine reading reactions and opinions.
For any and all of us who find ourselves wanting to cut and run when life gets hard, when things don't go our way, or we are in a space of discomfort, Here by Lydia Sohn is for us. I related so much to the author's experiences and her questions about being in the right place and doing the right things. Her simultaneous desire for a feeling of home and a sense of adventure is one that I think has a distinct audience. I highlighted so many passages and feel that this book came at the right time in my life, a time of unsettledness. I especially appreciated the metaphor of "trying things on for size" and that staying is not so restrictive that we stay miserable or in unhealthy situations. It is more so a call to question one's wanderlust and see if building gratitude and contentment could make all the difference. Each chapter included helpful reflection questions that I know I will be coming back to and the author's favorite versions of lectio divina and the examen have already come in handy. Overall, I'm a fan of this book and its contents.
Thank you to Convergent Books and NetGalley for the DRC. All thoughts are my genuine reading reactions and opinions.
January 6, 2025
What a wonderful book! It was incredibly timely for me. I have been enduring a work challenge that has triggered my "burn it down and move on" button more than a few times, but a deep inner knowing has been nudging me to stay. This book was just what God had for me to read at just the time I needed it! Lydia does an amazing job of describing the power of stability and how it is not stagnancy. It's not a call to stay stuck, but an invitation to let faithfulness change you, to be transformed by staying with our commitments.
The stories she weaves in of her own life and experiences are captivating and so relatable. I could not put it down. It has elements of memoir as well as tools for spiritual formation. There are questions for reflection at the end of each chapter that make it feel like a spiritual direction session with Lydia guiding you to your own awarenesses along the way.
So much wisdom is packed into this book!! Don't miss the chance to glean from her.
The stories she weaves in of her own life and experiences are captivating and so relatable. I could not put it down. It has elements of memoir as well as tools for spiritual formation. There are questions for reflection at the end of each chapter that make it feel like a spiritual direction session with Lydia guiding you to your own awarenesses along the way.
So much wisdom is packed into this book!! Don't miss the chance to glean from her.
January 23, 2025
I have been following Rev Lydia for a few years and always appreciate her depth of insight mixed with gentle encouragement and practical wisdom. Her debut book, releasing in February 25, exceeded my expectations.
Rev Lydia shares her journey of learning to live this principle of stability, as taught by the Benedictines. Yet she is careful to emphasize that sometimes leaving is the right choice, especially for safety and well-being.
I appreciate the reflection questions at the end of each chapter as a chance to pause and consider how this plays out in my life.
This book came to me at a time of transition. As I evaluate everything, reading this book was like a rope that tethered me while I considered whether to launch in search of greener pastures, or stay and sink my roots deeper. I chose to stay.
Rev Lydia shares her journey of learning to live this principle of stability, as taught by the Benedictines. Yet she is careful to emphasize that sometimes leaving is the right choice, especially for safety and well-being.
I appreciate the reflection questions at the end of each chapter as a chance to pause and consider how this plays out in my life.
This book came to me at a time of transition. As I evaluate everything, reading this book was like a rope that tethered me while I considered whether to launch in search of greener pastures, or stay and sink my roots deeper. I chose to stay.
December 24, 2025
I sought out Lydia Sohn’s book during a season of indecision about leaving a faith community—that I started. I appreciated her candor about the times when she stayed and left different ministry leadership roles. Sohn didn’t answer my question of whether I should stay or leave, but I found myself pausing the audiobook multiple times to transcribe her statements and questions into my journal. While it didn’t solve my heart’s tension, I was captivated by her declaration that “Staying doesn’t make you holier or more loved by God.” My biggest takeaway was a line she quoted from W.B. Yeats: “Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.” As an adrenaline junkie, I probably answer her question differently than other readers or listeners: “Do you think adventure and stability are mutually exclusive or mutually supportive?”
April 9, 2025
A very thoughtful book about the push and pull of what it takes to make us happy and content in life. It doesn't offer concrete answers but challenges the reader to think differently about their circumstances and be more open to bloom where you are planted, be less judgemental and cherish the seemingly small things .
I enjoyed the author's vulnerability in sharing her story and honesty in admitting that she still struggles with the dangling carrot of the possibility of the grass being greener on the other side
If you are struggling with your current situation this book may give you a different lens through which to view it.
Thanks to Netgalley for the chance to read it in exchange for my thoughts. All opinions are my own.
I enjoyed the author's vulnerability in sharing her story and honesty in admitting that she still struggles with the dangling carrot of the possibility of the grass being greener on the other side
If you are struggling with your current situation this book may give you a different lens through which to view it.
Thanks to Netgalley for the chance to read it in exchange for my thoughts. All opinions are my own.
November 2, 2024
This makes for a wonderful memoir—rich, candid, and warm stories. Honestly, at times would forget the theme of the book because the stories were on the lengthier side and Pastor Sohn didn't always speak directly to why she was sharing them, and some lessons wrapped a bit abruptly without clear interpretation on how she accepted the resolutions she describes. Because of this, I wasn't sure if the target was more for this to be a memoir or practical theology. But regardless, I did enjoy the peek into her life and at many points I paused to consider my own habits of leaving difficult situations prematurely.
Note: I received an advance copy in exchange for this honest review.
Note: I received an advance copy in exchange for this honest review.
May 6, 2025
This is such a relatable read on spirituality. I have traveled a great deal on my own and lived in five different cities as an adult. The desire for home and stability is a human longing no matter the circumstances of our lives but also enhanced by the physical instabilities or uncertainties.
Her chapter on Taizé felt like finding a spiritual sister since I also spent time there. The author refreshes our understanding of ancient traditions and practices that have rooted people throughout history. It reads like a spiritual memoir with affection for those who have opportunities to be uprooted and those thrust into it without choice. Buy this book and savor it.
Her chapter on Taizé felt like finding a spiritual sister since I also spent time there. The author refreshes our understanding of ancient traditions and practices that have rooted people throughout history. It reads like a spiritual memoir with affection for those who have opportunities to be uprooted and those thrust into it without choice. Buy this book and savor it.
September 23, 2025
Such a kind and human book. Read it in one sitting.
The part in which Sohn describes her dream about trying a new fit and having to accept the only dress she had at the moment, to then have it changed by God as she started walking..honestly? Got me bawling.
The book invited me to a reflexion on movement, stability, gratitude and wrestling with faith.
I like how simple it seems, but how deep it hits.
I really appreciate how mature and nuanced the author is, speaking of common sense but also personal insight and a heart which has experienced a lot. It does not sound imposing.
a warm reading for a rainy afternoon, under yellow-ish light.
The part in which Sohn describes her dream about trying a new fit and having to accept the only dress she had at the moment, to then have it changed by God as she started walking..honestly? Got me bawling.
The book invited me to a reflexion on movement, stability, gratitude and wrestling with faith.
I like how simple it seems, but how deep it hits.
I really appreciate how mature and nuanced the author is, speaking of common sense but also personal insight and a heart which has experienced a lot. It does not sound imposing.
a warm reading for a rainy afternoon, under yellow-ish light.
July 18, 2025
Lydia Sohn brings us a book that challenges our thinking. In a world bent on leaving and 'You do you boo' type of mentality, Sohn challenges us to stay, to be content with what we have, and be grateful for the here and now without pushing ourselves to strive for what's next. This is so counter-culture, that it bares the weight of sitting in the moment and contemplating what our next move should be. Definitely one that will challenge your thinking in the right way. Highly recommend.
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*
November 1, 2024
Lydia Sohn’s book Here is all about looking for life in the here and now as enshrined in the Benedictine practice of stability.
Although I felt like it took a while to get going it was a worthy ready and with its suggested questions to reflect on it certainly helps to engage with the material. However, Here is actually at its best when Lydia is sharing from her own story and her own heart and I especially appreciated her story of experience at Taize.
Overall I would recommend it.
Although I felt like it took a while to get going it was a worthy ready and with its suggested questions to reflect on it certainly helps to engage with the material. However, Here is actually at its best when Lydia is sharing from her own story and her own heart and I especially appreciated her story of experience at Taize.
Overall I would recommend it.
February 26, 2025
I laughed and cried reading Lydia's story and her pondering thoughts. What a God thing to have this land in my inbox at this moment in my life when I very much have the desire to run, to pack a bag, to disappear for a while. But the wider the roots of a tree, the bigger the branches. A very important, thought-provoking book about staying when everything is telling you to leave those hard things behind.
March 6, 2025
As someone who once prided herself on being “reckless” (yikes), finding so much contentment in my very ordinary life has often confused me. Am I lazy or complacent? Lydia’s book reminds me that maybe I have finally figured something out. Also, as an agnostic bordering on atheist, I found the very best of the lessons of Christianity in this book and was never once turned off by any religious undertones. Beautiful book!
May 2, 2025
Lydia Sohn is a United Methodist minister, a wife, mother, and a child of Korean parents. She experienced a sense of restlessness in life until she began to study the Rule of St. Benedict. Its vow of stability especially spoke to her. Here is a thoughtful meditation on the value of staying put...geographically and in other ways. She acknowledges, however, that sometimes people must leave (relationships, in particular) - for their own health and safety.
February 27, 2025
Very good listen; this would be a great study to do with friends or alone. The author is the reader for the audio and she is pleasant to listen to. Her voice and writings is totally non-judgmental and made me wish she was my pastor.
March 16, 2025
In a world of rapid shifting, Lydia Sohn explores what it means to truly rooted in God and in communities. I really enjoyed the way she wove the way of the Ancient Fathers into other ways to grow deeper. I will read the book again.
I was thankful to read this ARC through NetGalley.
I was thankful to read this ARC through NetGalley.
May 11, 2025
“Instead of asking, What can I change in my lot? Go one level deeper and ask, How can I grow in the lot I’m planted in right now?”
I enjoyed reading this one! It’s a quick read, but I decided to read a little bit every morning just to savor and reflect upon it.
As a military spouse who constantly has to move, I was worried I wouldn’t get too much out of this because “staying” isn’t often an option I get to control, but that was not the case.
I enjoyed reading this one! It’s a quick read, but I decided to read a little bit every morning just to savor and reflect upon it.
As a military spouse who constantly has to move, I was worried I wouldn’t get too much out of this because “staying” isn’t often an option I get to control, but that was not the case.
June 20, 2025
I’ve used this book as a mediation. To contemplate where I am in life and where I want to go. The writing calls you in to inspect. To evolve. The author writes with a religious lens that crosses over into all disciplines of life. Love this book and highly recommend to anyone itching to leave!
March 26, 2025
Loved Lydia's writing. There were a lot of instances that make you reflect where you are and where and what you want to do.
I enjoyed this reading
I enjoyed this reading
April 21, 2025
More religious than I expected but still sounds it to be an interesting take on the pull to leave vs stay
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