The Emperor's New Clothes, or in this case, the Author's New Editors!
I have so enjoyed the four previous Magiford Trilogies that catapulted KM Shea into the Kindle Best Seller Charts, that I was VERY disappointed with this latest series and it took me a while to work out why. Deborah Grace White, a South Australian author, edited all four of the previous Magiford Trilogies (and also The Prince's Bargain). It turns out that Marla Rogers edited the first two Magic On Main Street, and Alan Packer (DG White and Melanie Cellier's father) edited this one, The Order of Blood and Ruin.
The things I most enjoyed about the previous 4 series has turned out to be White's editing. The witty dialogue and situational comedy, especially with the minor characters, and the beautifully understated romances between the main characters were such a delight to savour.
Unfortunately this latest trilogy is quite simply not in the same class and was quite a disappointment to me. Oh yes, her fans loved it, but it was pretty much the same standard as her previous Fairy Tale/Enchantress/Elves/RPGLit etc. Her fan base is strong enough, especially for those who have read all of her previous books, to find much to enjoy in this latest installment, which revisits some of the main characters from the previous books. But for other aspiring writers who would love their books to get the same exposure, it is an object lesson in the difference between a world class editor and ones that are merely competent. Check the sales ranking for all of the series that White edited, and read and compare the differences.
For starters, with a GREAT writer, like Shakespeare or George RR Martin, or Jane Austen or Georgette Heyer, there ARE NO MINOR characters. All are beautifully realised and have their own distinct voices. With White as editor, I thoroughly enjoyed such well rounded minor characters. Their dialogue always moved the plot on and was entertaining. Unfortunately so many minor characters in this latest series were boring, their dialogue not even remotely entertaining, certainly for the most part did not move the action forward and could easily have been cut. The Dracos Siblings should have been rewritten, the potential was there for great comedy, yet they just ended up the butt of Killian's lousy jokes. They added nothing. Similarly Jade's co-workers could have done with a lot less story time, so that their best lines could have shone to best advantage. So much over the 3 books was quite frankly irrelevant and could easily have been cut, making a tighter and more entertaining story. The last book was far too long. We do not need lessons in gun safety, and every single fighting move was way too much information for the average reader. There was so much the editors should have cut.
Now for the main characters, the romance itself took over the plot, instead of enhancing the action, the lack of discipline in the dialogue was horrendously mushy. Men for the most part do not talk like Considine, even when they are madly in love. For a vampire who does not eat, calling her pet names based on types of meals just came off as irrelevant. He could have used types of weapons as pet names, given that she is a very competent fighter. She is a brave heroine and he could have used adjectives that extolled her leadership that would have fitted in with her character and the plot of this story. Less is more when it comes to romance in adventure stories, Mary Stuart is quite right to say that a man reveals his character in heroic ACTIONS in the romantic suspense genre, and kissing a woman without consent should have been flagged by a content editor as inappropriate, when there are so many other ways an equivalent or better grand statement could have been made by Considine at the end of Games of Enemies and Allies.
This series had a wonderful plotline, Enemies to Lovers, a reasonable adventure and mystery, some great side characters like Orrin and the co-workers with much potential for witty lines which got totally ruined by the editors not being ruthless enough in cutting all non-essentials to the overall plot. This was what made the other series so great: everything matched and enhanced the plot. Magic on Main Street just rambled on and so much was irrelevant to the plot.
I pray that this detailed review will give encouragement and insight for aspiring writers from a reader's perspective on the differences an editor can make. And the only logical conclusion any author could make would be to hang on to a world class editor like Deborah Grace White and do what it takes to keep them. Our world needs quality author editor partnerships.