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In Our Lives First: Meditations for Counselors
In Our Lives First: Meditations for Counselors is a collection of six week’s worth of readings about the work of counseling and its impact on the counselor’s life and soul. Based on her 40 years of counseling experience, the author shows how the true work of counselors is tending first to their own souls in relationship to Jesus Christ, since they cannot lead clients where they themselves have not gone first. Change, growth, and spiritual health must be a reality in their lives first, in order to effectively facilitate change, growth, and health in others. Dr. Langberg’s essays are interspersed with quotes from her favorite authors, most of them Puritan pastors and theologians, for 40 days’ worth of readings.
Dr. Langberg is a practicing psychologist whose clinical expertise includes 40 years of working with trauma survivors and clergy. She is the director of Diane Langberg, Ph.D. & Associates, a group practice in suburban Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and speaks internationally on topics related to women, trauma, ministry, and the Christian life. Dr. Langberg is a clinical faculty member of Biblical Seminary and is core faculty with Biblical Seminary’s Global Trauma Recovery Institute. She is the author of "Counsel for Pastors’ Wives" (Zondervan), "Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse" (Xulon Press), and "On the Threshold of Hope: Opening the Door to Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse" (Tyndale House), and is a columnist for Christian Counseling Today.
Dr. Langberg is Chair of the Executive Board of the American Association of Christian Counselors, serves on the boards of GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment) and the Society for Christian Psychology. She is also founder of The Place of Refuge, an inner city, non-profit trauma and training center. Dr. Langberg is the recipient of the Distinguished Alumna for Professional Achievement Award from Taylor University, the American Association of Christian Counselor’s Caregiver Award, and the Philadelphia Council of Clergy’s Christian Service Award. She is married and has two sons.
Dr. Langberg is a practicing psychologist whose clinical expertise includes 40 years of working with trauma survivors and clergy. She is the director of Diane Langberg, Ph.D. & Associates, a group practice in suburban Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and speaks internationally on topics related to women, trauma, ministry, and the Christian life. Dr. Langberg is a clinical faculty member of Biblical Seminary and is core faculty with Biblical Seminary’s Global Trauma Recovery Institute. She is the author of "Counsel for Pastors’ Wives" (Zondervan), "Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse" (Xulon Press), and "On the Threshold of Hope: Opening the Door to Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse" (Tyndale House), and is a columnist for Christian Counseling Today.
Dr. Langberg is Chair of the Executive Board of the American Association of Christian Counselors, serves on the boards of GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment) and the Society for Christian Psychology. She is also founder of The Place of Refuge, an inner city, non-profit trauma and training center. Dr. Langberg is the recipient of the Distinguished Alumna for Professional Achievement Award from Taylor University, the American Association of Christian Counselor’s Caregiver Award, and the Philadelphia Council of Clergy’s Christian Service Award. She is married and has two sons.
143 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 5, 2013
120 people are currently reading
348 people want to read
About the author
Diane Langberg
30 books184 followersDr. Diane Langberg is a practicing psychologist whose clinical expertise includes 35 years of working with trauma survivors and clergy. She speaks internationally on topics related to women, trauma, ministry and the Christian life.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
February 6, 2023
I stopped reading after Week 3 of this book's devotionals. I am a Christian and a professional counselor, and I was hoping to find something more grace-filled for someone who is weary from working in the trenches. I am admittedly sensitive from spiritual wounding in a reformed tradition, and so I experienced Langberg as too frequently seeking to bring conviction to counselors and to impress on them the weighty-ness of their work. (She also refers often to Puritan sources, which I am also sensitive to right now.) I think there's a place for that, but I am not needing it right now.
June 21, 2021
Don't let the title deceive you: this book is useful for any Christ-follower engaged in any form of ministry, even if counseling is not your profession. Yes, the focus is for counselors, but I found Dr. Langberg's insights both stirring and even practical. She recognizes that we cannot give to others what we do not have, so she exhorts her readers to seek God in private in our own lives and let Him transform us and fill us up as we face the evils of the world, whether that is helping a traumatized individual, facing abuses in the church, or addressing the broader evils of trafficking and genocide. Yet, instead of simply pointing fingers at failures and evil, she repeatedly brings her message back to indirectly saying, "But for the grace of God, go I." Her thoughts are grace-filled and Scripturally grounded, with a healthy realization that sin is a disease we can all catch. Her chapters are short and simple, and she challenges her readers (including me!) to seek Christ that we may look like Him in whatever process we are experiencing.
September 28, 2024
Phenomenal meditations for counselors. I very much appreciate the opening premise that counselors need help too. Bearing the cares and weights of others in counseling often takes a toll on us. As the author puts it, “There is a cost in doing this work.” In her foreword, Diane Langberg says, “I have learned through the decades that our true work is actually not care giving or counseling but rather tending to our souls in relationship to Christ.” The purpose of this devotional work is to replenish the hearts of counselors and spiritually invest in our lives first.
The contents of each article are convicting and soul-searching. I initially thought the book would contain mostly positive anecdotes and words of encouragement, but many of the thoughts struck deep. These are essential challenges for anyone who takes it upon themselves to care for the souls of others. We can so easily misuse this delicate relationship and need to understand the power the counselor holds and how to use it to serve others rather than serve ourselves. In a sense, the title “In Our Lives First” refers to the need to be pure, holy, patient, and enduring ourselves before we ask such of others. I must bend to the sanctification process myself before I attempt to help others do the same. As Langberg puts it, “we must be what we would have those who follow us become” (p. 48, based on John 17:19 where Jesus said “And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth”).
The book’s layout is very thoughtful with the material divided into days and weeks. Each week contains five brief articles (with a short challenge and a quotation at the end of each) and two meditations, the book being intended to be read over the course of six weeks. These short devotional thoughts were refreshing, and although I really wanted to read the book all the way through in one or two sittings, the small reading portions and spread-out pacing gave me time to really meditate on each thought. I consider it a great resource for personal devotions. My only criticism of the book is that it doesn’t use the KJV. Her thoughts on entering in, lured from within, understanding trauma survivors, power, institutional sin, habits, and genocide are very well-written and much needed.
There were many helpful quotes from the book, but I will only include one here. “Long-suffering is that power which enables us to suffer on, to bear with the suffering, to assimilate it and use it without letting it irritate, exasperate or numb us” (p. 15). To those who labor in caring for the souls of those around us, may we look to Christ and learn from Him what it means to be long-suffering in this sacred work we are called to. I look forward to going through this book’s sequel!
The contents of each article are convicting and soul-searching. I initially thought the book would contain mostly positive anecdotes and words of encouragement, but many of the thoughts struck deep. These are essential challenges for anyone who takes it upon themselves to care for the souls of others. We can so easily misuse this delicate relationship and need to understand the power the counselor holds and how to use it to serve others rather than serve ourselves. In a sense, the title “In Our Lives First” refers to the need to be pure, holy, patient, and enduring ourselves before we ask such of others. I must bend to the sanctification process myself before I attempt to help others do the same. As Langberg puts it, “we must be what we would have those who follow us become” (p. 48, based on John 17:19 where Jesus said “And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth”).
The book’s layout is very thoughtful with the material divided into days and weeks. Each week contains five brief articles (with a short challenge and a quotation at the end of each) and two meditations, the book being intended to be read over the course of six weeks. These short devotional thoughts were refreshing, and although I really wanted to read the book all the way through in one or two sittings, the small reading portions and spread-out pacing gave me time to really meditate on each thought. I consider it a great resource for personal devotions. My only criticism of the book is that it doesn’t use the KJV. Her thoughts on entering in, lured from within, understanding trauma survivors, power, institutional sin, habits, and genocide are very well-written and much needed.
There were many helpful quotes from the book, but I will only include one here. “Long-suffering is that power which enables us to suffer on, to bear with the suffering, to assimilate it and use it without letting it irritate, exasperate or numb us” (p. 15). To those who labor in caring for the souls of those around us, may we look to Christ and learn from Him what it means to be long-suffering in this sacred work we are called to. I look forward to going through this book’s sequel!
May 1, 2025
Loved this so much, this will be a regular book I go back to
July 25, 2019
This book is written for counselors, but I think its messaging applies to all Christians in helping professions and Christian ministry. The author is gentle but firm about the toxicity of the sin you're exposed to as you're helping others (and you dig up deep within your own self). Such great reminders!
The only hesitation I had is that the end of the book veered a little far into the hot ticket issues of human trafficking and genocide. It kind of fits the book—she's talking about how small, interior choices can have big effects if left unchecked—but it feels a little too broad and personal conviction-y in a way that doesn't fit the scope of the rest of the book.
I did like this book so immediately that I've already purchased it as a gift for a friend.
The only hesitation I had is that the end of the book veered a little far into the hot ticket issues of human trafficking and genocide. It kind of fits the book—she's talking about how small, interior choices can have big effects if left unchecked—but it feels a little too broad and personal conviction-y in a way that doesn't fit the scope of the rest of the book.
I did like this book so immediately that I've already purchased it as a gift for a friend.
March 1, 2018
Every person in ministry should read this devotional. Diane challenges us to look like Jesus as we minister.
“The Lord Jesus Christ Himself is my inspiration. When the dominant note of my life becomes what others need, I will drown. The needs of this world are far beyond my capacity to meet. I do not take my orders from the needs I see, but from my Lord.”
“Success is rather whether or not I looked like Him no matter the outcome.”
“The Lord Jesus Christ Himself is my inspiration. When the dominant note of my life becomes what others need, I will drown. The needs of this world are far beyond my capacity to meet. I do not take my orders from the needs I see, but from my Lord.”
“Success is rather whether or not I looked like Him no matter the outcome.”
August 15, 2020
A must for Christian Counselors
Diane Langberg is a voice of wisdom that all those who are Christians and also want to practice solid therapy need to listen to. I’m grateful for her many years of experience to draw from. These short chapters, paired with true self reflection and humility can help keep you grounded in our shared humanity. Note: even though geared towards counselors, these meditations can also apply to any person in a people care field.
Diane Langberg is a voice of wisdom that all those who are Christians and also want to practice solid therapy need to listen to. I’m grateful for her many years of experience to draw from. These short chapters, paired with true self reflection and humility can help keep you grounded in our shared humanity. Note: even though geared towards counselors, these meditations can also apply to any person in a people care field.
April 29, 2023
Langberg is not shy about pointing out the realities of sin and evil in the work of counseling. This book often felt more sobering and weighty to me than it did refreshing. As a helping professional, I already feel too in touch with the weight of sin/evil and it’s effects on the people in my office, so I wished this book was more focused on providing reorientation and refreshment than it was. However, it may be helpful to some who have a naive view of the realities of sin/evil.
September 3, 2018
This is a must read, not just for counselors but every Christian who is in ministry or wants to really do the work Jesus told us to do!
Diane Langberg is a wise, godly woman who happens to be a clinical psychologist. There is much wisdom here from her years of experience ministering to broken hurting people (and really isn’t that everyone?).
Diane Langberg is a wise, godly woman who happens to be a clinical psychologist. There is much wisdom here from her years of experience ministering to broken hurting people (and really isn’t that everyone?).
December 30, 2021
This exceptional little book packs a punch on every page. You can tell Dr. Langberg has walked the path as a therapist and is extremely intentional with every paragraph. Her words both inspire and convict with a gentleness and grace that only the Holy Spirit could orchestrate. And I agree with other reviewers, not at all just for counselors but for Christ-followers.
July 20, 2022
Very convicting and encouraging
I was surprised at how much the author focused on social justice issues within the counseling profession. This is a great read for every Christian counselor because the emphasis on ethics and continuing a close relationship with Jesus as the critical foundation to professional fruitfulness is challenging and inspiring.
I was surprised at how much the author focused on social justice issues within the counseling profession. This is a great read for every Christian counselor because the emphasis on ethics and continuing a close relationship with Jesus as the critical foundation to professional fruitfulness is challenging and inspiring.
August 5, 2018
This book is excellent for anyone that desires to care for themselves, friends, family, and strangers. It helped me tackle some of the lies I believe and pressed into the harmful ways that I neglect my own care causing a chain reaction out from that center.
August 18, 2018
This is an incredibly impactful book of reflections/devotional thoughts from a counselor who has been walking through brokenness with people for forty years. Great for anyone, but especially poignant for counselors and aspiring counselors.
June 12, 2020
A provocative book for counsellors and pastors in particular but also for all Christians. Hard hitting at times but, then again, the hits are only intended to direct the reader into ways helpful, humble, and holy.
July 5, 2021
This collection of devotional readings by amazing Diane Langberg is something that you don't want to miss - especially if you are a counselor, therapist or someone who works with human souls & hearts.
This book has encouraged me, challenged me to think about beauty and danger of my work as a counselor, and above all else it has brought me closer to our Backward Savior Jesus Christ - 'whose message was for the weak. He who lived in glory, regresses to earth. He who was omnipotent, regresses to a human body. He goes back, goes down, and He becomes small. By our standards of success, Jesus would surely be deemed a faliure'
p.158
The question is, am I ready to follow him in his regression, even if that would mark me as unsuccessful in the eyes of everyone around me?
This book has encouraged me, challenged me to think about beauty and danger of my work as a counselor, and above all else it has brought me closer to our Backward Savior Jesus Christ - 'whose message was for the weak. He who lived in glory, regresses to earth. He who was omnipotent, regresses to a human body. He goes back, goes down, and He becomes small. By our standards of success, Jesus would surely be deemed a faliure'
p.158
The question is, am I ready to follow him in his regression, even if that would mark me as unsuccessful in the eyes of everyone around me?
March 29, 2023
This is by far the most helpful devotional I have read. I believe it can be applied beyond the counseling field and cover all types of ministry. Langberg gives practical tools to guide our spirit and point us to Jesus in our ministry. Absolutely recommend! I promise you’ll be encouraged.
June 20, 2023
Immensely valuable both for counselors and for pastors who counsel congregants. Dr. Langberg leads the way for us in keeping our minds and hearts open to the transformation God desires in us, not just in the lives of those those to whom we minister.
May 24, 2024
Not just for counselors, but for people. Poignant and thought-provoking in a way many devotionals aren’t. I’ll be returning to a couple of the days in particular (on power, service, and honor) as we approach another presidential election season.
April 1, 2025
Profound
Diane Langberg excellently weaves in the concerns of therapists and counselors with the Word of God, and what we are called to practice and habituate. Many times, I felt challenged and then also, encouraged. This is a must read if you are a Counselor who follows Jesus.
Diane Langberg excellently weaves in the concerns of therapists and counselors with the Word of God, and what we are called to practice and habituate. Many times, I felt challenged and then also, encouraged. This is a must read if you are a Counselor who follows Jesus.
July 6, 2018
Excellent devotions. Will go through it again.
April 18, 2019
WDY
It provides a good reflection on what it means to be a counselor. A good read for all who themselves in the helping profession.
It provides a good reflection on what it means to be a counselor. A good read for all who themselves in the helping profession.
March 23, 2021
40 days of meditations to help you give of your soul to others.
April 26, 2021
Excellent. I’ve come to expect nothing less from Diane Langberg. She is an important voice. These short devotions are a great read for anyone who is ministering to others.
May 9, 2022
Beautiful soul work for ministry and overall intimacy with God. Read this once a year to care well for loved ones and self.
May 24, 2022
Great devotions, wonderful and thought provoking.
May 25, 2022
Langberg is kind, yet direct. She acknowledges the suffering that comes with the vocation of counseling, and meets it with grace and compassion.
I love you Diane XOXOXOxoxo
I love you Diane XOXOXOxoxo
August 16, 2022
Easily a book I will cherish and re-read in seasons to come. A MUST READ for ministers, mental health practitioners, and anyone who claims Isaiah 61 as their calling.
July 31, 2023
Very helpful. It’s a set of daily devotions for 6 weeks. Very helpful for anyone caring for others.
August 5, 2023
Weighty and sobering, but needed. We need relentless humility and depth of wisdom. This book forces leaders to look in the mirror and to look at the world in needed ways.
April 26, 2024
Incredible resource of encouragement, vision, and hope for the Christ-following counselor.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews