She Took a Turn: A Memoir of Climbing Over Guardrails Into Growth

by Kristi J. Smith

Finding your true path isn’t easy. Sometimes, you’ve got to take a turn.

Early in her life, Kristi’s path was set. She traveled on the straight and narrow as an unquestioning Christian and dutiful daughter. This prescribed route, through her debutante ball and into medical school, set her up for success—and settled her into a life that never felt like her own.

In her memoir, She Took a Turn, Kristi Smith gives fresh insight into the challenging work of self-reflection and blazing one’s true trail. Kristi invites us inside her childhood memories and adult explorations, sharing stories from an entertaining and thought-provoking cast of characters who inspired her to open her mind and change her course. This story of Kristi’s journey through personal, political, and spiritual growth is a surprising celebration of authenticity. As Kristi takes her turn, she invites us to do the same, giving us hope and courage for our own exploration.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

428 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 18, 2024

Reviews

[Tracy Joy]

Okay was I hesitant at first to dive into a personal memoir of someone I had maybe little to no similarities to? Yes. But do I believe that books can unite people from different backgrounds? Yes. And do I think it’s important time in our history to remember this? Absolutely.

In this book, Kristi shares her life journey from a conservative Southern upbringing into growing into her liberal, educator and activist self. She shares her struggles with motherhood and how she again found herself in the mountain of responsibility. I admire Kristi’s values of authenticity and real connection. I also felt touched by her story as a new mom (I can barely handle one so, four kids is a heroic effort to me!)

Ways that I found I related to Kristi? There’s a lot of college football talk at my house! (Thanks to my husband, go Longhorns!! Now in the SEC.) I too grew up in a relatively religious household. And I also did a lot of volunteer work in my early youth.

[Emily | emilyisoverbooked]

Thanks to Kristi and Booked with the Emilys for the copy of this book!

A memoir from a mom of four who went through a series of personal transformations, SHE TOOK A TURN is a book for anyone who has been humbled by their personal views or upbringing, and who needs some motivation or inspiration. I love that Kristi shares her own story while also focusing on the fact that YOUR STORY MATTERS. Kristi really is inspirational and provides a picture of hope and what it looks like to live authentically.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow – I’ve never felt so validated and accepted and safe as I did while reading this book. Kristi Smith touches on so many adverse topics in life, and I really appreciate her heartfelt reactions and thoughts on certain topics. For example, kids who were constantly yelled at by their parents for not being the kid their parents wanted them to be (different from disciplining) is explained as the parents missing out on getting to know how great their kids can be. There were several moments like this where I felt like Kristi does a great job caring for everyone’s inner child. And she reminds you that it’s okay to be imperfect and to make mistakes – that is how you learn and grow to be a better person every day. This is particularly important for someone like me to remember because perfectionism is my middle name.

Feeling a sense of security and safety while reading the book is a new feeling for me. I really appreciate the vulnerable and heartfelt storytelling from the author. This book is excellent in teaching/reminding someone how safety and security are supposed to feel. Per usual, this book came into my life at the perfect time where I’ve learned some really important life lessons about compassion and acceptance.

Cannot recommend this book enough!!

[Melanie Biese · Rating 5 out of 5]

Authentic, funny, thoughtful, meaningful and entertaining. The author is so vulnerable with her readers as she shares her personal thought journey.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is a deeply captivating look at a woman's desperate attempt to find herself as she grapples with the expectations placed on her by her family, community, and society. Smith seeks to see and celebrate others as they are, without judgement, with the deep-seated desire that her authentic self also be known.

In this book, it doesn't take long to find what an interesting and beautiful self that is. Smith explores the complicated relationship with her mother, beginning from a very young age.

As a 5 year old, Smith demanded oatmeal for dinner. A reasonable request from her perspective, but one not shared by those who prepared her food. Oatmeal was not on the menu. What ensued was a 40 hour hunger strike, because while she and her mom had many differences, stubbornness was a family trait. This indomitable will would serve (and curse) her in coming years.

"The prevailing philosophy of the day informed her [Smith's mother] that, more than anything else, I was the equivalent of wet cement—able to be molded. Much to her chagrin, I was more like dried cement: able to be altered if you were willing to pull out a jackhammer. Stubborn. Strong-willed. A Dog bullheaded Taurus."

"While my mother and I were similar in many respects (notably our independence), we also had major differences. She took pride in appearance. I took pride in devaluing it."

Smith profound desire and aptitude at self-reflection provides the reader with an amazing ride as she skillfully guides us through her life. She seems unable to leave any rock unturned, and recognizes that self-reflection and relaxation are often at odds. This can leave her at odds with those who love her.
"My mom looked at me and said, not for the first or last time, 'Being you must be exhausting.'"

Smith's mom is one of many colorful characters who Smith brings to life on the page and her exhaustive effort in writing this memoir pays off for those lucky enough to read it. It will make you laugh, possibly cry, and definitely leave wanting more.

[JC South · Rating 5 out of 5]

Smith takes us on a journey with her that may be unusual and foreign to many, but many more will see their own journeys reflected in these pages. Growing up in the Deep South in a conservative community is only the beginning of her story and one that she and I have in common. However, we took drastically different paths from our upbringings, yet our destinations have amazingly come to very similar destinations (so far - our destinations are not set). No longer do we see the restraints of our pasts and we have changed in a number of beliefs, but we both still have great respect for those who raised us, admire and accept the differences.
Take the time to read her story and follow her journey. The conversations that can come from this work and the relationships that can be developed from those conversations make all of our journeys worth the while.
I can’t express how much this books means to me. I’ll be honest and say I was primarily reading it because Kristi was a close friend from elementary through High School. We have stayed in distant contact over the years, with unfortunate spans of time that contact was weak. However, this book did not appeal to me just on a sentimental level as a friend of the author, but it is a deeper examination of the journey that we all go through. She acknowledges all of the different challenges that each individual faces and her story, while deeply personal brings out introspection in the reader that I was not expecting. Read this book. You will not be disappointed. I can’t wait to reconnect with Smith and examine our connections even more.

[Meaghan]

Thank you, Partner, @bookedwiththeemilys and author @kristijsmith for the #gifted book. (I do not give a star rating for memoirs.)

Synopsis: Kristi J. Smith was raised with every advantage, and this memoir chronicles that upbringing, and the subsequent identity crises she faces as she questions everything she thought she understood and wanted in life.

Mood Reader Guide: for when you want a detailed memoir akin to Cheryl Strayed, Glennon Doyle, or Elizabeth Gilbert's works examining religion, self-identity, and motherhood

Thoughts:
- so many of her insights on marriage and motherhood really resonated. That was my favorite portion of the book.
- she really admires Glennon Doyle, and her book Untamed - so much so that she expands on several ideas Doyle writes about in the book

Criticisms
- very long, with a bunch of family history that took a while to get through at the beginning
- references to events that are important but that she cannot talk about, which is like saying you know some juicy gossip but can't share it
- lots of acknowledging her faults, and wanting the reader to know how much she's grown, how progressive her views are, how much she's thought about social issues and when her voice (a privileged white woman) should be used

Quotable:

"You learn the most about people by paying attention to which stories they choose to share."

"Why can I not just be me, without that being a commentary on my mother?"

"Motherhood is an arena where depleting yourself is unabashedly celebrated."

"Being a mother feels like being the placeholder on a football team. The placeholder is the guy who receives the snap (catches the ball), so he can hold it for the kicker. Almost no one notices the placeholder unless he screws up."

"Given the choice, will you break your child or a structure that will not accommodate them?"

[Deep Choudhary · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Powerful and Honest Journey of Self-Discovery

Kristi J. Smith’s She Took a Turn is an inspiring and deeply personal memoir about breaking free from expectations and embracing personal growth. From the very first chapter, I was drawn into her story—one that feels both unique to her life and yet universally relatable.

Kristi grew up following a carefully laid-out path, one that was shaped by tradition, family expectations, and religious upbringing. She did everything “right”—from her debutante ball to medical school—yet she felt a disconnect, as if she were living a life that wasn’t truly hers. What makes this book so compelling is her willingness to examine that feeling and take the difficult steps toward change.Her journey isn’t just about career or faith; it’s about identity, self-awareness, and the courage to make choices that align with who we really are rather than who we’re expected to be. She introduces us to a cast of fascinating people who influenced her along the way, and through her experiences, we see how moments of doubt, challenge, and even discomfort can be opportunities for growth.

I especially appreciated how she doesn’t present her transformation as easy or straightforward. Growth is messy, and Kristi doesn’t shy away from sharing the struggles and setbacks she faced. She writes with humor, vulnerability, and an openness that makes you feel like you’re having a conversation with a wise and thoughtful friend.This book is perfect for anyone questioning their path, feeling stuck in societal or family expectations, or simply looking for an honest and uplifting memoir. She Took a Turn is a reminder that it’s never too late to change course and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t even know where to start with this book. It hit me on a very personal and emotional level. There were so many parts of this book that I can very much relate to. I grew up in a very conservative household myself, and there was this “idea” this “plan” of how my sister and I were to be raised. Even though we were not from the South, our culture and household came with its own set of rules. You add on being Christian, and it’s infused that there is a specific direction that you are to take, and that is it. I know now, as an adult that it’s not black and white.

My mother and I also never saw eye to eye on many things, especially as I had gotten older. My childhood was Interesting when I talk to other friends, because it was unusual. Now as a woman, an adult, and a mother myself I have learned so much about healthy (healthier) relationships. I’ve also learned (the very hard way) what healthy even looks like when it comes to relationships between spouses (something I didn’t see growing up). Boundaries was not a thing in our household and it was something that I made sure to place with my children and our household because it is so important to have your sense of safety, space, and comfort. I also learned that being Christian for myself came to me in a completely different perspective. It wasn’t from my family, nor the church. It was something that I had to figure out all on my own.

There is so much I could sit and talk and write about this book, but I won’t. A lot of it feels so personal. All I know is that I give this book a 2 thumbs up and a 5 out of 5. I don’t typically feel that way about many books, but this felt very personal. It’s a great memoir! It’s very rare for me to say this because I only have 1 book on my shelf that I have had for more than 15 years. It’s a favorite of mine. I think this is going to be the 2nd book that I’ll be keeping for so many years to come just like that 1st book.

[_sassy_39 · Rating 5 out of 5]

"She Took a Turn: A Memoir of Climbing over Guardrails into Growth" penned by the author Kristi J. Smith is an intriguing memoir. Kristi's parents Joan and Lloyd raised her as a Christian daughter. When Kristi was born, it was assumed that she would become a Christian, medical doctor.


After growing up, the author still considers herself a Christian but the meaning of this identifier has changed a lot as compared to her childhood. While growing up, Kristi constantly learned from her mother who was there to involve her in different tasks. From the age of twenty-two to thirty, Kristi gained many insights that changed her. Her mother was there with her during her moments of self-discovery. Even though Kristi was raised with conservative values, she found her authentic self through constant self-work.


Those who are fans of memoir should definitely read this book. This book inspires us to embrace authenticity and do self-reflection. I appreciate the author's choice of title for the book. Those who want to forge a different path would gain great insights from the author's journey. I appreciate the author for the path she chose to walk and for being so courageous. 

4.5/5

[Erin Hatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

When this book came in the mail, my mom immediately said it needed to be read ASAP. We are both in the beginning stages of writing our own individual stories and hope to publish. This book gives me encouragement that there will be strangers who want to read my story when it eventually comes to fruition. Starting is the first step!

I appreciate Kristi's views even though some are a bit different from mine. I grew up with conservative views in a liberal state and I still lean towards being conservative, but I've learned to be a lot more open-minded as I've met and experienced different people.

I love the handwritten card as well-a beautiful personal touch that I'll keep in mind that wonderful day I can give away MY book on Goodreads. Thanks so much for the inspiration and the note!

This positive review is not influenced by the fact I won the book. Thanks!

[Holly Currin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Smith takes us on an amazing journey from her extremely conservative upbringing all the way through motherhood where she has found a more inclusive worldview.

Smith has an incredibly interesting story of how she came into her current beliefs. She speaks honestly of her childhood, of her early adult years, marriage, illness, motherhood, and of where she is currently. It's refreshing to read how she has honored relationships but has also built healthy boundaries.

This is a memoir that will forever be on my shelf. Smith speaks so many truths that resonate with so many of us that have battled having differing beliefs than those we love.

Compassion, love, and creativity fill the pages of this book! 5 stars, hands down!

[Tristen]

Short synopsis: She took a Turn is a memior of Kristi’s path that was set for her at a young age, and the mind opening moments inspiring her to adjust that path.

My thoughts: While I don’t often gravitate towards non-fiction I’m so glad I picked this up. I really enjoyed these stories from her life and childhood, and found moments where they were similar to my own.

One thing that really stuck out to me was her reminder of how important everyone’s story is! Everyone experiences growth and inspiring moments and it’s so important to share your story with the world!

Read if you love:
- Stories of inspiration
- Motherhood
- Memiors
- Transformation and growth

[Emily | booksandbedtime]

Thank you Booked with the Emily and author Kristi Smith for a copy of this book!

This memoir details Kristi's vulnerable experience as she attempts to find herself in the mist of expectations from family, community and society. Her story was very relatable to me, as I too grew up in the deep South, but now live in such a liberal northern city. Learning and growing as an adult can be difficult, but Kristi shares all the ugly truth and how her past has shaped her into who she is today, while still learning and growing. She Took a Turn is such an inspiring memoir.

[Mary Ingmire · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent memoir of a young woman's journey toward self-discovery. She documents her journey from a path set by others to the one she was meant to follow, from either/or thinking to both/and. Having lived in the South all my life, her story was relatable. There were certain "rules" that women followed as the norm. There were also "norms" for religion and politics. Smith's new path did not adhere to those. She recognizes that self-discovery is a life-long journey, not something that is accomplished by a specific date. I highly recommend this book.

[A KAPPEL · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a fresh take on what it means to grow up surrounded by one way of thinking and decide to strike out on your own to find out what's really out there and how you feel about it. The author guides you through her path but also encourages you to find your own, and ask why you're on the path you're currently on. I love that it swung from sweet to funny to provocative to nostalgic. I really felt like I was along for the journey.

[Megan Harvell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this book was incredible!!!! Absolutely loved it.

[Eileen Burke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Inspiring but somewhat laborious

I was loving this book until a bit over half-way through when the author’s mother’s words just kept coming back to me. It must be exhausting to be her - I was exhausted just reading about her. I understand but can’t relate to being so overly analytic about every single detail of a life. Sometimes things need to be given up to the universe….

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unabashedly honest and raw. Read this especially if you are a stay-at-home mother after having had a lot of education and career.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristi's memoir hit me pretty hard in a few areas. I grew up in a conservative Christian household in the north where there seemed to be the "church way" but also "be your own person" thrown at me when I was growing up, it kind of helped me to make my own path and decisions.. Even if it wasn't the one that was originally "set up" for me.

The way the book was written was very relatable. She invites her readers into her past and the important pivotal moments that made her question the social norms and find her own path through self-reflection. Great book for those who enjoy memoirs and look to be inspired to make a change in their life. She Took a Turn is a great read that shows you how to embrace change, & celebrate your individual self