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Lost in Thought
"Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive."
Ilana has an enviable job at the opera house, a committed relationship, and a cozy Greenwich Village apartment, but the questions inside of her are growing insistent. Is it due to her scientist boyfriend's research on how people make their decisions, or is she suffering suppressed grief from the death of her adoptive mother? She becomes curious about who she would be if she'd grown up in her birth home. Is she truly who she thinks she is? Has she ever freely chosen anything at all? When Ilana learns that her birth mom owns a pub upstate, well, what harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? To see, just to see. What begins as curiosity about her choices evolves into a traumatic shift in her world. She loses control of her life. And then, chaos.
Lost in Thought is a novel about unconscious decision-making and the illusion of free will.
Ilana has an enviable job at the opera house, a committed relationship, and a cozy Greenwich Village apartment, but the questions inside of her are growing insistent. Is it due to her scientist boyfriend's research on how people make their decisions, or is she suffering suppressed grief from the death of her adoptive mother? She becomes curious about who she would be if she'd grown up in her birth home. Is she truly who she thinks she is? Has she ever freely chosen anything at all? When Ilana learns that her birth mom owns a pub upstate, well, what harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? To see, just to see. What begins as curiosity about her choices evolves into a traumatic shift in her world. She loses control of her life. And then, chaos.
Lost in Thought is a novel about unconscious decision-making and the illusion of free will.
- GenresFiction
256 pages, Hardcover
Published October 22, 2024
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32 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
November 9, 2024
Ilana Barrett is employed as the production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City, an occupation I've never run across before. She knows she's adopted but it's only after the death of her adoptive mother that she starts questioning her origins and learns that her birth mother owns a pub in upstate New York. What harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? Indeed. As the blurb states, Lost in Thought is a novel about unconscious decision-making and the illusion of free will.
I don't mind admitting that I'm not sure I got everything from this book that I was supposed to. I mostly liked the underlying story and the characters were interesting but there was more introspection in the book than I like and much of it went over my head. I don't think I know anyone who thinks such deep thoughts or who has such "meaningful" conversations with friends and family, or maybe they just don't include me in them. This book is well-written but I don't think I'm the appropriate audience. 3.5 stars rounded down.
I was invited to read and review a copy of this book by Meryl Moss Media Group on behalf of Koehler Books via Netgalley. All opinions expressed are my own.
Publication Date: October 22, 2024
I don't mind admitting that I'm not sure I got everything from this book that I was supposed to. I mostly liked the underlying story and the characters were interesting but there was more introspection in the book than I like and much of it went over my head. I don't think I know anyone who thinks such deep thoughts or who has such "meaningful" conversations with friends and family, or maybe they just don't include me in them. This book is well-written but I don't think I'm the appropriate audience. 3.5 stars rounded down.
I was invited to read and review a copy of this book by Meryl Moss Media Group on behalf of Koehler Books via Netgalley. All opinions expressed are my own.
Publication Date: October 22, 2024
September 18, 2024
I received a free copy of, Lost in Thought, by Deborah Serra, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Ilana Barrett seems to have the perfect life. great job and boyfriend, but she has a lot of questions and doubts in her mind, what could of been, what would of been, what should of been, so many questions unanswered. I did not care for this book, Ilana was not the easiest character to rad about, the book was to heavy at times.
December 5, 2024
Bailed at 2%. There was no mention in the synopsis about this being a COVID-related book. Numerous mentions already in just 2%.
August 25, 2024
I could relate to this story. Ilana begins to question her life, she knows who she is now, but wonders about who she would be if life had taken her a different path. As her journey continues on, we read about her life, her choices, but I wondered while reading, is it life making the choices or can a person override what life wants it to be. As I read, I could see things I hadn't before, and it kept me reading. I find it fascinating reading about people's journeys, and this one was different. It made me think, to see something's differently, and when we get to the end of this part of her journey, I started to see who she was becoming.
When I was asked to read the book, I wasn't sure, but it intrigued me enough that I had to read it. I think it helped me understand my own journey more. As I said, I could relate to this story.I received an ARC from Deb Zipf, Senior Publicist at Meryl Moss Media Group.
When I was asked to read the book, I wasn't sure, but it intrigued me enough that I had to read it. I think it helped me understand my own journey more. As I said, I could relate to this story.I received an ARC from Deb Zipf, Senior Publicist at Meryl Moss Media Group.
September 25, 2024
At its heart, the book offers a modern, nuanced take on the Nature vs. Nurture debate, this time exploring it through the lens of conscious and unconscious decision-making. We see many parallels throughout the narrative, such as between Ilana's adoptive upbringing versus her biological family, Manhattan versus Upstate New York, and urban life versus pastoral living. Ilana continually questions herself: if her actions are the byproduct of unconscious decision-making, is this a result of how she was raised, or is it more tied to her genetic history?
The book serves as an interesting exploration of this age-old debate in literature, and overall, I believe the author wants the reader to contemplate the debate itself rather than arrive at a definitive conclusion. I thought this was an interesting topic to explore and was told through equally engaging moments within the story.
While the book was well-written and engaging, I found the introduction of its main themes—primarily through the character Adam, who explains the theory of conscious versus unconscious decision-making—felt a bit heavy-handed. Additionally, Ilana's self-reflection on these questions could have been presented more subtly. I think it would have enhanced the narrative if these topics were woven into the story more organically, allowing readers to observe Ilana's dilemma from a distance instead of being told outright.
That being said, 'Lost in Thought' was still an overall solid read, and I'm looking forward to Deborah's next book! :)
The book serves as an interesting exploration of this age-old debate in literature, and overall, I believe the author wants the reader to contemplate the debate itself rather than arrive at a definitive conclusion. I thought this was an interesting topic to explore and was told through equally engaging moments within the story.
While the book was well-written and engaging, I found the introduction of its main themes—primarily through the character Adam, who explains the theory of conscious versus unconscious decision-making—felt a bit heavy-handed. Additionally, Ilana's self-reflection on these questions could have been presented more subtly. I think it would have enhanced the narrative if these topics were woven into the story more organically, allowing readers to observe Ilana's dilemma from a distance instead of being told outright.
That being said, 'Lost in Thought' was still an overall solid read, and I'm looking forward to Deborah's next book! :)
September 17, 2024
The writing here is magnificent and the story is quite thought-provoking. Nature vs. nurture, how we make choices - whether it is free will, conscious thought, or something hard-coded in our DNA from those who've gone before us. It's a lot to unpack and you would think it would make for some heavy reading. Far from it though. I was pulled in from the start and I would venture that it is because of the masterful writing.
October 30, 2024
This is a fascinating, lovely book about Ilana, the production manage for an opera house who is on a quest to find her birth mother when the mother who adopted her dies suddenly. Leaving her boyfriend--neuroscientist Adam at home--she travels to her hometown to discover the truths that have bothered her about circumstances she doesn't understand. At the local pub she finds a cast of unusual but lovely people who are sometimes reluctant but later trusting as she questions them about who she is and why wasn't "kept" there in this small town. It's a bittersweet look at family, love, and the sacrifices one makes to survive and do the right thing.
Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!
September 7, 2024
I am in awe. This is an extraordinary story, and one that will remain with me.
I received this book from Deb Zipf, Senior Publicist at Meryl Moss Media Group.
She clearly possesses a grand prescience in her world of publishing!
My thanks to her for providing this book via NetGalley, for review purposes.
I received this book from Deb Zipf, Senior Publicist at Meryl Moss Media Group.
She clearly possesses a grand prescience in her world of publishing!
My thanks to her for providing this book via NetGalley, for review purposes.
September 30, 2024
See my full review at Book Review: Lost in Thought by Deborah Serra First of all, I finished this book at 11:00 pm last night, and I lay awake far too long thinking about the ending. Today, I had some things I needed … http://michelleardillo.com/2024/09/17...
October 22, 2024
***I received an ARC from Net Galley in exchange for my honest review
I really wanted to like this book, but this book just wasn't for me. The book was a slow burn for the entire book. I did not find the main character, Ilana, likable. I thought she was wishy-washy, and a lot of her choices were questionable, if not downright weird. Others have given this a glowing review, so this may just be a case of "it's not you, it's me", but personally, I can't recommend this one.
I really wanted to like this book, but this book just wasn't for me. The book was a slow burn for the entire book. I did not find the main character, Ilana, likable. I thought she was wishy-washy, and a lot of her choices were questionable, if not downright weird. Others have given this a glowing review, so this may just be a case of "it's not you, it's me", but personally, I can't recommend this one.
September 26, 2024
I don't know what it was about this book, but Ilana's story just never came to life for me.
November 6, 2024
My unrestrained thoughts: This book comes close to ‘living inside someone else’s head’… but the someone else in question is a bunch of really flawed people.
Now, onto a little sophisticated review – it may contain tiny spoilers!
Deborah Serra’s Lost in Thought follows the life of the calm and controlled Ilana Barrett, whose life is as good as it gets. After managing the production of operas, the entire day, she goes home in the arms of her scientist boyfriend. Life does seem good… until we find out she’s going to meet her birth mother. Oh, yeah, she was adopted and had loving parents. But in her grief of losing her adoptive mother (and her boyfriend’s research on the decision-making process), she makes a spontaneous decision to check how her life would’ve been if she was still with her birth mother.
The moment she steps into the pub owned by her mother and her husband, chaos ensues. There’s a snarky grandmother who doesn’t like to put her teeth in, an appallingly frugal half-sister, a slightly sane half-brother, a neighbor shooting his gun at the sky/God, and a carpenter who induces totally weird feelings in her. Not to forget her threateningly welcoming stepfather and bio-mother with a layered personality, the reason behind the book’s conflict.
Whatever she had imagined about this visit… well, it goes to hell . The usually calm and controlled Ilana is thrown off her rails in the most profound way, and she’s not sure what will happen next.
For me, Ilana was a tough character to like. She had the advantage of protagonist bias but her opposing thoughts and actions made her look spineless. I was not sure what exactly to make of her, with the way she hopped from one decision to another. But I guess I related to her being ‘lost in thought’ and her unawareness of her grief’s influence on her.
As is also marketed, the book is primarily about the nature of choices. Through Adam, Serra explores whether we are in control of our decisions or if we’re just puppets to our unconscious mind. It’s a really thought-provoking discussion, but the way it was presented made it really forgettable. I was more focused on how Ilana’s life took a turn, instead of speculating why she did what she did. I think Adam’s heavy-handed explanation and the novel’s structure also added to its unmemorable impact.
What I liked:
Novel’s structure : With no chapters and no POV, the novel almost reads like a stream-of-conscious story from every character’s perspective. I was definitely thrown off at the start because it felt too confusing. Honestly, I was sure I was gonna DNF this book as I felt like I was pushed to read about Ilana out of nowhere. But the book soon grew on me, especially when the story gave insights into the O’Hollerans. I soon understood the beauty of this narrative style, even if it dampened the shock effect of many instances.
Isabella: Isabella appeared after the high point of the book was done (let’s be honest, everything picked up pace after the first half anyway) but she managed to make a small home in my heart quickly. She had strong ideas about everything and she put them forth in such a convincing way that I couldn’t help but nod along in agreement. She is like that brutally honest voice in that anxious person’s head who’s simultaneously positive in a convoluted way. And I’d like that to be in my life.
William: If not for Isabella, William would’ve topped my ‘favorite characters’ list. He doesn’t judge, gives out great advice, and is there for you exactly the way you need him to. Well, he is the levelheaded person frantic people like Illana want. Admittedly, he had his own issues, but unlike the actual protagonist, he faced them as maturely and responsibly as possible. So, imagine my shock when the only good character in the book became the ‘fatal’ reason behind Ilana finally coming to her senses.
What I wasn’t impressed with:
The book doesn’t follow the normal structure where there are POV changes… or chapters. Instead, it’s a mishmash of every primary and secondary character with sad asterisks put in between to indicate scene or setting change. While I can definitely see how radical it is, I couldn’t help but get frustrated at times. I might have come to like the flow after a while but that doesn’t mean I’ll willingly read books with this style. You can say it’s an aspect I loved and hated equally…
Another thing that made me uncomfortable was… Cafferty. Initially, I was blinded by Ilana’s instant attraction to Cafferty (that was enough to give me butterflies). But as Serra provided his perspective, I felt disillusioned.
It was not about how different his life was – the typical village boy, so to say – but the fact that he wasn’t ready to understand Ilana’s lifestyle. He kept thinking that he’ll change her and make her love the quiet life of Albany – and that’s just… so fucking stupid. Well, he had a redeeming arc at the end, but Cafferty can go to hell for all I care.
You can say both the love interests were a disappointment. Because I also wasn’t impressed by Adam either, but at least he was subtler in getting on my nerves. He was living in his own world, trying to drive their relationship single-handedly without thinking about Ilana (the sudden proposal still sends shivers down my spine).
Lastly, the ending was a little less impactful than the author intended. It would’ve been a jaw-dropping conclusion (and story) if the space for the characters’ unnecessary thoughts was given for building the ending.
My Final Thoughts?
I like the premise of Lost in Thought, but it was more like a jumble of thoughts attacking you from every side/character. It does look quite a lot like how people think, but do I want to read in the exact same way my thoughts are? No, I read to escape my thoughts!!
I must admit, though – it was a refreshing read simply because it was different than what I usually read.
Thanks to NetGalley and Deb Zipf of Meryl Moss Media for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review!
#netgalley #arcreview
Now, onto a little sophisticated review – it may contain tiny spoilers!
Deborah Serra’s Lost in Thought follows the life of the calm and controlled Ilana Barrett, whose life is as good as it gets. After managing the production of operas, the entire day, she goes home in the arms of her scientist boyfriend. Life does seem good… until we find out she’s going to meet her birth mother. Oh, yeah, she was adopted and had loving parents. But in her grief of losing her adoptive mother (and her boyfriend’s research on the decision-making process), she makes a spontaneous decision to check how her life would’ve been if she was still with her birth mother.
The moment she steps into the pub owned by her mother and her husband, chaos ensues. There’s a snarky grandmother who doesn’t like to put her teeth in, an appallingly frugal half-sister, a slightly sane half-brother, a neighbor shooting his gun at the sky/God, and a carpenter who induces totally weird feelings in her. Not to forget her threateningly welcoming stepfather and bio-mother with a layered personality, the reason behind the book’s conflict.
Whatever she had imagined about this visit… well, it goes to hell . The usually calm and controlled Ilana is thrown off her rails in the most profound way, and she’s not sure what will happen next.
For me, Ilana was a tough character to like. She had the advantage of protagonist bias but her opposing thoughts and actions made her look spineless. I was not sure what exactly to make of her, with the way she hopped from one decision to another. But I guess I related to her being ‘lost in thought’ and her unawareness of her grief’s influence on her.
As is also marketed, the book is primarily about the nature of choices. Through Adam, Serra explores whether we are in control of our decisions or if we’re just puppets to our unconscious mind. It’s a really thought-provoking discussion, but the way it was presented made it really forgettable. I was more focused on how Ilana’s life took a turn, instead of speculating why she did what she did. I think Adam’s heavy-handed explanation and the novel’s structure also added to its unmemorable impact.
What I liked:
Novel’s structure : With no chapters and no POV, the novel almost reads like a stream-of-conscious story from every character’s perspective. I was definitely thrown off at the start because it felt too confusing. Honestly, I was sure I was gonna DNF this book as I felt like I was pushed to read about Ilana out of nowhere. But the book soon grew on me, especially when the story gave insights into the O’Hollerans. I soon understood the beauty of this narrative style, even if it dampened the shock effect of many instances.
Isabella: Isabella appeared after the high point of the book was done (let’s be honest, everything picked up pace after the first half anyway) but she managed to make a small home in my heart quickly. She had strong ideas about everything and she put them forth in such a convincing way that I couldn’t help but nod along in agreement. She is like that brutally honest voice in that anxious person’s head who’s simultaneously positive in a convoluted way. And I’d like that to be in my life.
William: If not for Isabella, William would’ve topped my ‘favorite characters’ list. He doesn’t judge, gives out great advice, and is there for you exactly the way you need him to. Well, he is the levelheaded person frantic people like Illana want. Admittedly, he had his own issues, but unlike the actual protagonist, he faced them as maturely and responsibly as possible. So, imagine my shock when the only good character in the book became the ‘fatal’ reason behind Ilana finally coming to her senses.
What I wasn’t impressed with:
The book doesn’t follow the normal structure where there are POV changes… or chapters. Instead, it’s a mishmash of every primary and secondary character with sad asterisks put in between to indicate scene or setting change. While I can definitely see how radical it is, I couldn’t help but get frustrated at times. I might have come to like the flow after a while but that doesn’t mean I’ll willingly read books with this style. You can say it’s an aspect I loved and hated equally…
Another thing that made me uncomfortable was… Cafferty. Initially, I was blinded by Ilana’s instant attraction to Cafferty (that was enough to give me butterflies). But as Serra provided his perspective, I felt disillusioned.
It was not about how different his life was – the typical village boy, so to say – but the fact that he wasn’t ready to understand Ilana’s lifestyle. He kept thinking that he’ll change her and make her love the quiet life of Albany – and that’s just… so fucking stupid. Well, he had a redeeming arc at the end, but Cafferty can go to hell for all I care.
You can say both the love interests were a disappointment. Because I also wasn’t impressed by Adam either, but at least he was subtler in getting on my nerves. He was living in his own world, trying to drive their relationship single-handedly without thinking about Ilana (the sudden proposal still sends shivers down my spine).
Lastly, the ending was a little less impactful than the author intended. It would’ve been a jaw-dropping conclusion (and story) if the space for the characters’ unnecessary thoughts was given for building the ending.
My Final Thoughts?
I like the premise of Lost in Thought, but it was more like a jumble of thoughts attacking you from every side/character. It does look quite a lot like how people think, but do I want to read in the exact same way my thoughts are? No, I read to escape my thoughts!!
I must admit, though – it was a refreshing read simply because it was different than what I usually read.
Thanks to NetGalley and Deb Zipf of Meryl Moss Media for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review!
#netgalley #arcreview
September 29, 2024
“Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive. You should remember that”
Ilana Barrett is a successful production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City. She is in a committed relationship with partner Adam, a scientist and leads an affluent lifestyle, living in an apartment in Greenwich Village. Outwardly life looks good, but Ilana is unsettled and needs the constant support of her dearest friend, confidante and therapist, William.
The only child of adoptive parents, Ilana (now in her thirties), has begun to wonder more and more about her birth mother and how her life might have turned out if they had remained together. Her father had passed away some time ago and now her mother succumbs to Covid, spurring Ilana into taking actions which might turn her life upside down and inside out.
She discovers that her birth mother's name is Fiona and that she runs a bar in Albany, upstate New York. Curious and against the advice of both Adam and William, she decides to visit unannounced, just to get a feel for the place and the type of person her mother is. The plan is to be there and back in the same day. However, fate steps in and throws all her plans into confusion, something she is really not able to cope with, without William's advice and shoulder to lean on. The family, their business and the area in which they live, are not at all what Ilana had envisaged, so whilst wanting to run for home almost immediately, she gets sucked into their friendly and outgoing demeanour and finds herself making one of the biggest lone decisions of her life. But is it one she is going to regret when she cedes that all important control to an unknown force?
Ilana knows that if she takes the romanticism of finding her birth family out of the equation, theirs is a lifestyle she really doesn't want to lead, as comforting as it might appear to be. But rather than simply walk away and never contact them again, she makes the decision that Fiona at least should know who she really is and why she has tracked her down. Fiona's initial reaction is not at all what Ilana expects and William has to do some straight talking to get Ilana back on track. Even when Fiona has a slight change of heart, Ilana is left under no illusion about where her future lies, although when she decides that honesty is the best policy and comes clean with Adam, it becomes abundantly clear that he has other ideas which no longer include her.
When William is taken from her suddenly, Ilana is emotionally paralysed and doesn't know how she is going to move forward with her life. Advice comes from the strangest of sources, from someone who has become one of her closest friends, despite their differences in age, outlook on life and that they have known each other for such a relatively short time.
Will Ilana's consciously determined leap of faith be her undoing or her moment of independence - that's left for the reader to decide!
...
This is definitely a book which is going to divide opinion and thus would probably make a great topic for group discussion. I was left very undecided in my thoughts about it. However, I am sure that the levels of internal debate I experienced, were probably just as the author intended. I definitely enjoyed the underlying storyline a lot, along with the author's engaging and powerful style of writing, together with the way in which she introduced and developed such a very eclectic cast and mix of characters, so an overall 4* rating still seems more than fair from me personally.
The storyline actually raised quite a few questions I had never considered about conscious and unconscious decision making and exactly how much of each is free will and how much is controlled, although most choices have consequences and not all of those can be anticipated or controlled. I did feel however, that having Adam explain in such detail, the theories behind each theme, was a bit over the top and mind-boggling for the layperson such as myself. The same went for Ilana when she was self-analysing almost every move she made and thought she had, especially when she had broken her own rules around spontaneity.
Whilst the physical locations of the storyline were quite narrow and focussed, I found that the 'armchair traveller' in me was more than happy, as there were some excellent descriptions of both New York State locations, together with some lovely nuanced details and anecdotes relative to the 'behind the scenes' operations of an opera house.
The one slight criticism of the download copy I was offered to read, was that chapter breaks were not clearly enough marked and there were speech passages from multiple characters, all written together in a single paragraph, making it a little unclear as to who was speaking at any given moment in time. Hopefully these points are to be addressed before the book's release date.
Ilana Barrett is a successful production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City. She is in a committed relationship with partner Adam, a scientist and leads an affluent lifestyle, living in an apartment in Greenwich Village. Outwardly life looks good, but Ilana is unsettled and needs the constant support of her dearest friend, confidante and therapist, William.
The only child of adoptive parents, Ilana (now in her thirties), has begun to wonder more and more about her birth mother and how her life might have turned out if they had remained together. Her father had passed away some time ago and now her mother succumbs to Covid, spurring Ilana into taking actions which might turn her life upside down and inside out.
She discovers that her birth mother's name is Fiona and that she runs a bar in Albany, upstate New York. Curious and against the advice of both Adam and William, she decides to visit unannounced, just to get a feel for the place and the type of person her mother is. The plan is to be there and back in the same day. However, fate steps in and throws all her plans into confusion, something she is really not able to cope with, without William's advice and shoulder to lean on. The family, their business and the area in which they live, are not at all what Ilana had envisaged, so whilst wanting to run for home almost immediately, she gets sucked into their friendly and outgoing demeanour and finds herself making one of the biggest lone decisions of her life. But is it one she is going to regret when she cedes that all important control to an unknown force?
Ilana knows that if she takes the romanticism of finding her birth family out of the equation, theirs is a lifestyle she really doesn't want to lead, as comforting as it might appear to be. But rather than simply walk away and never contact them again, she makes the decision that Fiona at least should know who she really is and why she has tracked her down. Fiona's initial reaction is not at all what Ilana expects and William has to do some straight talking to get Ilana back on track. Even when Fiona has a slight change of heart, Ilana is left under no illusion about where her future lies, although when she decides that honesty is the best policy and comes clean with Adam, it becomes abundantly clear that he has other ideas which no longer include her.
When William is taken from her suddenly, Ilana is emotionally paralysed and doesn't know how she is going to move forward with her life. Advice comes from the strangest of sources, from someone who has become one of her closest friends, despite their differences in age, outlook on life and that they have known each other for such a relatively short time.
Will Ilana's consciously determined leap of faith be her undoing or her moment of independence - that's left for the reader to decide!
...
This is definitely a book which is going to divide opinion and thus would probably make a great topic for group discussion. I was left very undecided in my thoughts about it. However, I am sure that the levels of internal debate I experienced, were probably just as the author intended. I definitely enjoyed the underlying storyline a lot, along with the author's engaging and powerful style of writing, together with the way in which she introduced and developed such a very eclectic cast and mix of characters, so an overall 4* rating still seems more than fair from me personally.
The storyline actually raised quite a few questions I had never considered about conscious and unconscious decision making and exactly how much of each is free will and how much is controlled, although most choices have consequences and not all of those can be anticipated or controlled. I did feel however, that having Adam explain in such detail, the theories behind each theme, was a bit over the top and mind-boggling for the layperson such as myself. The same went for Ilana when she was self-analysing almost every move she made and thought she had, especially when she had broken her own rules around spontaneity.
Whilst the physical locations of the storyline were quite narrow and focussed, I found that the 'armchair traveller' in me was more than happy, as there were some excellent descriptions of both New York State locations, together with some lovely nuanced details and anecdotes relative to the 'behind the scenes' operations of an opera house.
The one slight criticism of the download copy I was offered to read, was that chapter breaks were not clearly enough marked and there were speech passages from multiple characters, all written together in a single paragraph, making it a little unclear as to who was speaking at any given moment in time. Hopefully these points are to be addressed before the book's release date.
September 25, 2024
Lost in Thought, Deborah Serra, author
I enjoyed this book because it made me think. I may not have agreed with every word or premise, or even the writing style, at times, but the mark of a good book for me is a book that makes me think. That book enriches my life. This is such a book.
Who are you? Have you ever wondered? Ilana, the main character of this book is madly wondering who she is and where she came from. However, why is she so consumed with this passionate desire to discover her ancestry? What was wrong with her life? From the outside looking in…nothing! She had an apartment in Greenwich Village, a successful career managing an Opera House, she had David, a compassionate boyfriend, she had a best friend William, and a busy work and social schedule that she managed well. So, why was she searching for something else? What was missing and what did she hope to discover? Will this book answer those questions or will it demand each reader answer those questions about their own life choices?
Although Ilana loved her parents and knew that they had loved her, she never really felt like she knew her true identity or who she really was inside or out. Ilana had been adopted, and after the recent pandemic pushed people into isolation, creating fear and loneliness and forcing everyone to have more time to think, more time to contemplate their true purpose in a life that might be cut short too soon, or that might change forever with a population of masked, socially distancing, frightened human beings, Ilana felt confused and vulnerable. The catastrophic death of her mother from Cancer made her uncertainty worse. Although she had never before felt the need to explore her background, she now felt compelled to explore her origin.
When she discovered that her mother, Fiona, operated a bar in Albany, NY, she decided to go there, anonymously, to see where she came from and what kind of person her birth mother was that she could give up her child. Why did this visit make Ilana begin to wonder even more about her own decisions in life? Did she consciously make her choices or were they genetically and magically somehow all determined by her DNA with baked in memories, some not her own, but were those belonging to trace memories of her ancestors’, as her boyfriend believed? In Albany, she tried to simply be a voyeur, an observer who would then return home, no one else the wiser, but she was swept into Fiona’s life, unexpectedly, and what she discovered would change the path of her own life completely.
Why did Ilana choose the path she was on? Was her formality and finer upbringing better than the crudeness of the lifestyle of her birth mother’s family. Was her sense of privilege guiding her and the lack of that privilege guiding them? Was their freedom to feel and act more openly better than her way of having complete control of her emotions and reactions leaving her stilted and distant, at times? Why was her path so different? Would she be willing to change her present content life for the chaotic type of life she witnessed, a life that seemed to be filled with unrestrained love and joy on a more instinctual, emotional level? Could she embrace her new family? Would Fiona allow it? Would she want her secret exposed? Could the knowledge of Ilana’s existence destroy the lives of others?
There were so many interesting characters like William and Isabella, Cafferty and David, Shea and Patrick. They all represented different sides of the coin, of the personality and behavioral choices.
Would Ilana discover who she was or would she remain confused? Would the reader have made the same choices as Ilana? What was it that determined Ilana’s lifestyle, her DNA, her upbringing, or something else? Would the knowledge of her true background conflict with the person she believed she had become or would she become someone else in the process? If everything you believed about yourself was challenged, how would you react? Would you try to fit into that new vision of yourself? Which one would be the right one, the one you were raised as or the one you would have been raised as if you had not been adopted. Who is your true mother? Is it the one that raised you or the one that birthed you?
This is a book that is about the choices that determine our lives. Each of the characters has faced life differently. Did privilege have anything to do with the trajectory of their lives or ours? Do we assume we are better or worse depending on our status? Is it possible to cross class lines? This is a book about identity, religion, loyalty, freedom, privilege, elitism, choices, decisions, pathways, and change. Who are we really?
I enjoyed this book because it made me think. I may not have agreed with every word or premise, or even the writing style, at times, but the mark of a good book for me is a book that makes me think. That book enriches my life. This is such a book.
Who are you? Have you ever wondered? Ilana, the main character of this book is madly wondering who she is and where she came from. However, why is she so consumed with this passionate desire to discover her ancestry? What was wrong with her life? From the outside looking in…nothing! She had an apartment in Greenwich Village, a successful career managing an Opera House, she had David, a compassionate boyfriend, she had a best friend William, and a busy work and social schedule that she managed well. So, why was she searching for something else? What was missing and what did she hope to discover? Will this book answer those questions or will it demand each reader answer those questions about their own life choices?
Although Ilana loved her parents and knew that they had loved her, she never really felt like she knew her true identity or who she really was inside or out. Ilana had been adopted, and after the recent pandemic pushed people into isolation, creating fear and loneliness and forcing everyone to have more time to think, more time to contemplate their true purpose in a life that might be cut short too soon, or that might change forever with a population of masked, socially distancing, frightened human beings, Ilana felt confused and vulnerable. The catastrophic death of her mother from Cancer made her uncertainty worse. Although she had never before felt the need to explore her background, she now felt compelled to explore her origin.
When she discovered that her mother, Fiona, operated a bar in Albany, NY, she decided to go there, anonymously, to see where she came from and what kind of person her birth mother was that she could give up her child. Why did this visit make Ilana begin to wonder even more about her own decisions in life? Did she consciously make her choices or were they genetically and magically somehow all determined by her DNA with baked in memories, some not her own, but were those belonging to trace memories of her ancestors’, as her boyfriend believed? In Albany, she tried to simply be a voyeur, an observer who would then return home, no one else the wiser, but she was swept into Fiona’s life, unexpectedly, and what she discovered would change the path of her own life completely.
Why did Ilana choose the path she was on? Was her formality and finer upbringing better than the crudeness of the lifestyle of her birth mother’s family. Was her sense of privilege guiding her and the lack of that privilege guiding them? Was their freedom to feel and act more openly better than her way of having complete control of her emotions and reactions leaving her stilted and distant, at times? Why was her path so different? Would she be willing to change her present content life for the chaotic type of life she witnessed, a life that seemed to be filled with unrestrained love and joy on a more instinctual, emotional level? Could she embrace her new family? Would Fiona allow it? Would she want her secret exposed? Could the knowledge of Ilana’s existence destroy the lives of others?
There were so many interesting characters like William and Isabella, Cafferty and David, Shea and Patrick. They all represented different sides of the coin, of the personality and behavioral choices.
Would Ilana discover who she was or would she remain confused? Would the reader have made the same choices as Ilana? What was it that determined Ilana’s lifestyle, her DNA, her upbringing, or something else? Would the knowledge of her true background conflict with the person she believed she had become or would she become someone else in the process? If everything you believed about yourself was challenged, how would you react? Would you try to fit into that new vision of yourself? Which one would be the right one, the one you were raised as or the one you would have been raised as if you had not been adopted. Who is your true mother? Is it the one that raised you or the one that birthed you?
This is a book that is about the choices that determine our lives. Each of the characters has faced life differently. Did privilege have anything to do with the trajectory of their lives or ours? Do we assume we are better or worse depending on our status? Is it possible to cross class lines? This is a book about identity, religion, loyalty, freedom, privilege, elitism, choices, decisions, pathways, and change. Who are we really?
October 18, 2024
“...the virus made her jittery with alarm. Without discriminating, lives were stripped away…” her adoptive mother included. Sheltering in place was a time of vast blankness…each day blending into the next…everyone waited.
Ilana Barrett fell into her old routine…without a single conscious moment. “The beat of the street pumped into the soles of her heels…”. Taxi cab horns sounded as she walked to her Greenwich Village brownstone. She was production manager for the Lyric Opera House. “A crushing volume of details defined her world…everything was her responsibility…stagehands…labor unions…it was an authority she didn’t own naturally. Insecurity hid in the folds of her fashionable suit.”
“Ilana felt the only way to ward off making mistakes in life was to be certain and walk with purpose…” show no emotion or weakness. She had attended all the right schools, had the right set of upwardly mobile friends and the right boyfriend, Adam. He was a neuroscientist at Columbia University. To stay at the top of his game, he needed to “research, publish, speak and stay relevant.” Adam’s discussion topics included conscious and unconscious decision making. “You don’t decide what you’ll think next. Thought appears.” Ilana’s go-to person was William. Both had experienced significant loss; Ilana with the death of her adoptive mother, William, his coming out alienated his entire family. Ilana and William were each other's “family”. Both Adam and William advised Ilana not to follow the unconscious thought that rose to the forefront; discover her birth mother.
A day trip to Albany, New York…just to get a bird's eye view of what her birth mother, Fiona was like. Fiona and her husband Shea, owned a pub in a neighborhood that was a far cry from Ilana’s upscale living. While Ilana peered into the pub, Shea tossed out a rowdy patron who crashed into her pushing her to the ground. Pulled up by her armpits, Shea helped her into the bar then handed her a stiff drink. Suddenly, she was enveloped in the fold of Fiona’s family and brought home to have dinner with the clan. They wondered about this strange woman dressed in an impeccable suit who appeared on their doorstep. Her one day visit was a glimpse into a different world, a chaotic one seemingly with free will, free time and skinny dipping.
Life as Ilana knew it could suddenly change on a dime. She had a successful business life at the Opera, the potential for marriage and children with Adam, a life certain and with purpose…but constrained. Life in Albany was free-falling, a simple life with unrestrained joy and love. Ilana was now lost in thought. She had a champion in septuagenarian opera donor, Isabella whose insight and life experiences helped Ilana discover that whether conscious or unconscious, controlled or determined by a leap of faith, decisions were consequential.
“Lost in Thought” provides a wide array of characters from all walks of life. In the capable hands of author Deborah Serra, the novel explores the mystery and emotionality of some of life’s most difficult decisions. Highly recommended.
Thank you Koehlerbooks and Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Ilana Barrett fell into her old routine…without a single conscious moment. “The beat of the street pumped into the soles of her heels…”. Taxi cab horns sounded as she walked to her Greenwich Village brownstone. She was production manager for the Lyric Opera House. “A crushing volume of details defined her world…everything was her responsibility…stagehands…labor unions…it was an authority she didn’t own naturally. Insecurity hid in the folds of her fashionable suit.”
“Ilana felt the only way to ward off making mistakes in life was to be certain and walk with purpose…” show no emotion or weakness. She had attended all the right schools, had the right set of upwardly mobile friends and the right boyfriend, Adam. He was a neuroscientist at Columbia University. To stay at the top of his game, he needed to “research, publish, speak and stay relevant.” Adam’s discussion topics included conscious and unconscious decision making. “You don’t decide what you’ll think next. Thought appears.” Ilana’s go-to person was William. Both had experienced significant loss; Ilana with the death of her adoptive mother, William, his coming out alienated his entire family. Ilana and William were each other's “family”. Both Adam and William advised Ilana not to follow the unconscious thought that rose to the forefront; discover her birth mother.
A day trip to Albany, New York…just to get a bird's eye view of what her birth mother, Fiona was like. Fiona and her husband Shea, owned a pub in a neighborhood that was a far cry from Ilana’s upscale living. While Ilana peered into the pub, Shea tossed out a rowdy patron who crashed into her pushing her to the ground. Pulled up by her armpits, Shea helped her into the bar then handed her a stiff drink. Suddenly, she was enveloped in the fold of Fiona’s family and brought home to have dinner with the clan. They wondered about this strange woman dressed in an impeccable suit who appeared on their doorstep. Her one day visit was a glimpse into a different world, a chaotic one seemingly with free will, free time and skinny dipping.
Life as Ilana knew it could suddenly change on a dime. She had a successful business life at the Opera, the potential for marriage and children with Adam, a life certain and with purpose…but constrained. Life in Albany was free-falling, a simple life with unrestrained joy and love. Ilana was now lost in thought. She had a champion in septuagenarian opera donor, Isabella whose insight and life experiences helped Ilana discover that whether conscious or unconscious, controlled or determined by a leap of faith, decisions were consequential.
“Lost in Thought” provides a wide array of characters from all walks of life. In the capable hands of author Deborah Serra, the novel explores the mystery and emotionality of some of life’s most difficult decisions. Highly recommended.
Thank you Koehlerbooks and Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 25, 2024
‘Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive. You should remember that.’
Ilana Barrett is the production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City, she is in a committed relationship with Adam, a scientist, and has an apartment in Greenwich Village. Life looks good, but Ilana is unsettled. Her adoptive mother recently died, and Ilana wonders about her birth mother, about the life she might have lived with her birth mother. Ilana’s curiosity is stoked, in part, by Adam’s research into how people make decisions. What are the impacts of nature and nurture on a life?
While Adam has his own plans for their life together, Ilana is curious to learn more about her birth mother. And, when she learns that her birth mother owns a pub in upstate New York, she decides to make a visit. What could possibly go wrong? Ilana intends to remain anonymous. Things do not go according to plan: Ilana in her tailored linen suit stands out in the pub, but somehow, she becomes caught up in the lives of those she meets. What happens when control is ceded?
I was a fair way into this novel before I became fully engaged. The introspective musing at the beginning may have been a perfect lead into what follows, but I found it irritating at times. Adam and Ilana both annoyed me: he with his assumptions and she with her attempts to accommodate his expectations. By far my favourite character in the first part of the book was Ilana’s friend William. But part way through the book, when I was beginning to despair, the focus and pace changed, and I found myself caught up in Ilana’s journey. And when I finished, I wondered what might happen next.
Choices have consequences: not all consequences can be anticipated.
‘It was disconcerting to face that her value did not come from who she was, but rather from what she was, …’
Note: My thanks to NetGalley, the Meryl Moss Media Group and Köehler Books for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Ilana Barrett is the production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City, she is in a committed relationship with Adam, a scientist, and has an apartment in Greenwich Village. Life looks good, but Ilana is unsettled. Her adoptive mother recently died, and Ilana wonders about her birth mother, about the life she might have lived with her birth mother. Ilana’s curiosity is stoked, in part, by Adam’s research into how people make decisions. What are the impacts of nature and nurture on a life?
While Adam has his own plans for their life together, Ilana is curious to learn more about her birth mother. And, when she learns that her birth mother owns a pub in upstate New York, she decides to make a visit. What could possibly go wrong? Ilana intends to remain anonymous. Things do not go according to plan: Ilana in her tailored linen suit stands out in the pub, but somehow, she becomes caught up in the lives of those she meets. What happens when control is ceded?
I was a fair way into this novel before I became fully engaged. The introspective musing at the beginning may have been a perfect lead into what follows, but I found it irritating at times. Adam and Ilana both annoyed me: he with his assumptions and she with her attempts to accommodate his expectations. By far my favourite character in the first part of the book was Ilana’s friend William. But part way through the book, when I was beginning to despair, the focus and pace changed, and I found myself caught up in Ilana’s journey. And when I finished, I wondered what might happen next.
Choices have consequences: not all consequences can be anticipated.
‘It was disconcerting to face that her value did not come from who she was, but rather from what she was, …’
Note: My thanks to NetGalley, the Meryl Moss Media Group and Köehler Books for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
October 24, 2024
Favorite Quotes:
All the flippancy of the evening disappeared. They sank into an earnest whisper. They spoke to each other like kids sharing mysteries while perched in a tree house and rapt in the quiet woods.
You’re born. You get so many minutes. You die. That’s kinda it. How you spend your minutes is the only thing.
Saint Bernadette’s was a dismal boarding house in the center of the city. The nuns performed their earthly penance by running it. They were brittle women, sexless, and looking longingly toward death.
They sat in quiet companionship. Ilana knew for all the gifts that life had given her— her privileged education, her quiet good looks, her sense of practicality— it was the gift of this friendship that she most treasured.
“He’s not a piece of real property.” “True, there is very little real about him at this point— not his teeth, his hair, his left knee, his right hip, or his erection. He is more a collage of spare parts.”
She strikes me as a woman who would ride a llama bareback through a burning building in a pair of crotchless panties if she damn well felt like it.
Whenever Willow had an idea, she made lists, and most of the time, ecstatic intentions aside, the only thing she actually accomplished was the list.
What was not being said was getting loud inside the silence.
My Review:
This was not a happy ever-after romance, this was a coming into oneself women’s fiction tale with characters who were imperfect, realistically flawed, and struggling with real-world issues, work, and personal baggage. While at times I felt conflicted with the vagaries of the storylines when they were not going in the direction I expected or hoped for, kudos must be given to this clever author for her writing style. It was profoundly perceptive, poignant, insightful, and well-nuanced with authentic quirk, while eloquently detailed in a witty brain-teasing manner in magnificent Technicolor. I had to whittle down several pages of favorite quotes for those to include in this review.
All the flippancy of the evening disappeared. They sank into an earnest whisper. They spoke to each other like kids sharing mysteries while perched in a tree house and rapt in the quiet woods.
You’re born. You get so many minutes. You die. That’s kinda it. How you spend your minutes is the only thing.
Saint Bernadette’s was a dismal boarding house in the center of the city. The nuns performed their earthly penance by running it. They were brittle women, sexless, and looking longingly toward death.
They sat in quiet companionship. Ilana knew for all the gifts that life had given her— her privileged education, her quiet good looks, her sense of practicality— it was the gift of this friendship that she most treasured.
“He’s not a piece of real property.” “True, there is very little real about him at this point— not his teeth, his hair, his left knee, his right hip, or his erection. He is more a collage of spare parts.”
She strikes me as a woman who would ride a llama bareback through a burning building in a pair of crotchless panties if she damn well felt like it.
Whenever Willow had an idea, she made lists, and most of the time, ecstatic intentions aside, the only thing she actually accomplished was the list.
What was not being said was getting loud inside the silence.
My Review:
This was not a happy ever-after romance, this was a coming into oneself women’s fiction tale with characters who were imperfect, realistically flawed, and struggling with real-world issues, work, and personal baggage. While at times I felt conflicted with the vagaries of the storylines when they were not going in the direction I expected or hoped for, kudos must be given to this clever author for her writing style. It was profoundly perceptive, poignant, insightful, and well-nuanced with authentic quirk, while eloquently detailed in a witty brain-teasing manner in magnificent Technicolor. I had to whittle down several pages of favorite quotes for those to include in this review.
December 9, 2024
Thank you to Meryl Moss Media group, the publisher, and the author for this book.
I thought this would be your typical, my biological parents are gone and now I'm going to look for my biological mother. It turned out to be so much more.
Sometimes the structure of this author's sentences are sophisticated especially when Ilana's scientist boyfriend speaks and it's over my head along when they go to dinners with friends.
Ilana is a production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City, and an interesting and busy one at that. (This is probably the first time I've read a book with a job like this). Despite her busy job, Ilana wants to go (or need to go I guess) to Albany to find her mother (Fiona) who owns a bar. Does she think she can go to the pub and just observe and not introduce herself? Not quite! What a bunch of "seedy" characters in that place and Ilana is dressed to the nines like the professional and city girl she is. Fiona is a waitress, her grandmother (Nellie) is the piano player and then she gets invited to her half sister's Willows house for dinner and it seems she has a half-brother too Patrick. They have no idea who she is just yet. What a motley crew they are with friends and neighbors there for dinner.
There's the backstory of Fiona's life too and it wasn't a good one either starting out when she was pregnant with Ilana. When Ilana finally tells Fiona who she is, it is not a good one and she tells her to go. Ilana goes fleeing back to NYC with her tail between her legs and has to tell Adam something that happened that has to do with her trip. She gets back into her life with her job and tells her best friend William, all about it. He's a psychiatrist and a great listener. Everyone needs a friend like that. He's gay and has his own problems.
Was the ending what I thought it would be? Not at all and that was a good thing.
I thought this would be your typical, my biological parents are gone and now I'm going to look for my biological mother. It turned out to be so much more.
Sometimes the structure of this author's sentences are sophisticated especially when Ilana's scientist boyfriend speaks and it's over my head along when they go to dinners with friends.
Ilana is a production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City, and an interesting and busy one at that. (This is probably the first time I've read a book with a job like this). Despite her busy job, Ilana wants to go (or need to go I guess) to Albany to find her mother (Fiona) who owns a bar. Does she think she can go to the pub and just observe and not introduce herself? Not quite! What a bunch of "seedy" characters in that place and Ilana is dressed to the nines like the professional and city girl she is. Fiona is a waitress, her grandmother (Nellie) is the piano player and then she gets invited to her half sister's Willows house for dinner and it seems she has a half-brother too Patrick. They have no idea who she is just yet. What a motley crew they are with friends and neighbors there for dinner.
There's the backstory of Fiona's life too and it wasn't a good one either starting out when she was pregnant with Ilana. When Ilana finally tells Fiona who she is, it is not a good one and she tells her to go. Ilana goes fleeing back to NYC with her tail between her legs and has to tell Adam something that happened that has to do with her trip. She gets back into her life with her job and tells her best friend William, all about it. He's a psychiatrist and a great listener. Everyone needs a friend like that. He's gay and has his own problems.
Was the ending what I thought it would be? Not at all and that was a good thing.
June 3, 2025
Rating: 2.75
Mode of Reading: NetGalley Digital ARC, courtesy of Deborah Serra and Deb Zipf (part of the marketing team at Meryl Moss Marketing Group), in exchange for my honest review...
It's an ARC... When does it Release? This book was published October 22 2024- you can get your own copy today!
How did I pick this up: I love discovering new authors through ARCs, so when Deb reached out via email, I was excited to grab a copy. The premise promised a thoughtful blend of serious themes and humor, which definitely intrigued me.
Short Yet Sweet Review: Ilana has lived what many would consider a successful, fulfilling life. She oversees the NYC Opera House and was raised by loving parents. But after the pandemic and the loss of her mother, she begins to question her roots and decides to seek out her birth parents. Her long-term partner, a scientist focused on decision-making, adds an interesting layer to her inner conflict. Amid all this, Ilana chooses not to tell anyone the truth about her journey. Is life unfolding as it should? Is she shaped more by nature or nurture? And is the past keeping her from her future?
I have to give Deborah Serra credit, despite my rating, this book is well-written. That said, I don’t think I was the right reader for it. It really deserves someone who wants to unpack big ideas and have thoughtful discussions. I went in with the intention of giving the story the attention it deserved, but I found myself increasingly frustrated and wanting it to be something it wasn't. While the story ends on a hopeful note, it wasn’t the resolution I was hoping for, and I didn’t connect with many of Ilana’s choices. Still, Serra captured Ilana’s inner world and that of the surrounding characters so clearly. For a reader who loves deeper themes and introspection, this could be a great, discussion-worthy book club pick.
Mode of Reading: NetGalley Digital ARC, courtesy of Deborah Serra and Deb Zipf (part of the marketing team at Meryl Moss Marketing Group), in exchange for my honest review...
It's an ARC... When does it Release? This book was published October 22 2024- you can get your own copy today!
How did I pick this up: I love discovering new authors through ARCs, so when Deb reached out via email, I was excited to grab a copy. The premise promised a thoughtful blend of serious themes and humor, which definitely intrigued me.
Short Yet Sweet Review: Ilana has lived what many would consider a successful, fulfilling life. She oversees the NYC Opera House and was raised by loving parents. But after the pandemic and the loss of her mother, she begins to question her roots and decides to seek out her birth parents. Her long-term partner, a scientist focused on decision-making, adds an interesting layer to her inner conflict. Amid all this, Ilana chooses not to tell anyone the truth about her journey. Is life unfolding as it should? Is she shaped more by nature or nurture? And is the past keeping her from her future?
I have to give Deborah Serra credit, despite my rating, this book is well-written. That said, I don’t think I was the right reader for it. It really deserves someone who wants to unpack big ideas and have thoughtful discussions. I went in with the intention of giving the story the attention it deserved, but I found myself increasingly frustrated and wanting it to be something it wasn't. While the story ends on a hopeful note, it wasn’t the resolution I was hoping for, and I didn’t connect with many of Ilana’s choices. Still, Serra captured Ilana’s inner world and that of the surrounding characters so clearly. For a reader who loves deeper themes and introspection, this could be a great, discussion-worthy book club pick.
October 15, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced digital copy of this book.
Ilana has the perfect life. Or does she? She lives in the center of the universe, New York City, has a job she loves and is very good at, an attentive lover who is on the cusp of proposing, a best friend, a psychiatrist who helps her work through her problems, so what's missing? And THAT is the question that starts this book.
Ilana always knew she was adopted and her parents loved her unconditionally, providing everything she would need to have a good and fulfilling life. But the recent death of her mother, with whom she was especially close, has led her to curiosity about what her life MIGHT have been if her teenage birth mother had not given her up for adoption. So, against the advice of virtually everyone in her life, she sets off to Albany, where she has learned her birth mother lives and runs a bar. She is just going to go in quietly, have a glass of wine, and see this mother she has never known, then leave and go back to her "real" life. But things don't go QUITE as planned and Ilana gets to know the family as she never expected, somehow losing herself and staying the entire weekend. Finally, as she is readying to leave, she reveals to her mother, Fiona, who she really is. Everything that happened that weekend seems like a dream, or a nightmare, and she is incapable of returning to the life she had been leading.
The question is, do we make the big decisions about our lives not freely, but as a result of everything that we have experienced up to that moment? Suddenly, Ilana is on a quest to find out.
Ilana has the perfect life. Or does she? She lives in the center of the universe, New York City, has a job she loves and is very good at, an attentive lover who is on the cusp of proposing, a best friend, a psychiatrist who helps her work through her problems, so what's missing? And THAT is the question that starts this book.
Ilana always knew she was adopted and her parents loved her unconditionally, providing everything she would need to have a good and fulfilling life. But the recent death of her mother, with whom she was especially close, has led her to curiosity about what her life MIGHT have been if her teenage birth mother had not given her up for adoption. So, against the advice of virtually everyone in her life, she sets off to Albany, where she has learned her birth mother lives and runs a bar. She is just going to go in quietly, have a glass of wine, and see this mother she has never known, then leave and go back to her "real" life. But things don't go QUITE as planned and Ilana gets to know the family as she never expected, somehow losing herself and staying the entire weekend. Finally, as she is readying to leave, she reveals to her mother, Fiona, who she really is. Everything that happened that weekend seems like a dream, or a nightmare, and she is incapable of returning to the life she had been leading.
The question is, do we make the big decisions about our lives not freely, but as a result of everything that we have experienced up to that moment? Suddenly, Ilana is on a quest to find out.
November 3, 2024
First, I want to thank the author, publisher and NetGalley for allowing me this pre-published copy to review.
I found myself wanting to find out how many parts of this plot would end as they circled toward many possibilities. One theme was the question of free-will, which was provocative and thought-provoking to many reviewers, but seemed a bit tired to me, something discussed in college dorms decades ago (or were we just not taking responsibility for our impulses?). Nonetheless, Ilana's quest to find her birth family and her realization that her real parents were the ones who raised her seemed quite true to my experience with many patients (I spent my career as a psychiatrist) and in fact, Ilana was less disappointed than many as she seemed to accept and understand who these people are and who they were at the time of her conception/birth without an unrealistic fantasy. Her maturity in this regard I appreciated.
Another theme was about the tolerance of people living very different lives--whether one concludes this is by choice or some other determinant,--can this be done without the judgement of those who live with the more mainstream "norms"? Much food for thought here.
I found the writing somewhat uneven -- meaning that at times it flowed fast, insightful, thought-provoking, and delightful, and at other times cliched and too nose-on with telling instead of showing. I also found the head-hopping a bit clunky.
Nonetheless, I am not shy to put down a book that doesn't grab me, and I certainly was compelled to see what happened to each character and see how it all wrapped up. Great job.
I found myself wanting to find out how many parts of this plot would end as they circled toward many possibilities. One theme was the question of free-will, which was provocative and thought-provoking to many reviewers, but seemed a bit tired to me, something discussed in college dorms decades ago (or were we just not taking responsibility for our impulses?). Nonetheless, Ilana's quest to find her birth family and her realization that her real parents were the ones who raised her seemed quite true to my experience with many patients (I spent my career as a psychiatrist) and in fact, Ilana was less disappointed than many as she seemed to accept and understand who these people are and who they were at the time of her conception/birth without an unrealistic fantasy. Her maturity in this regard I appreciated.
Another theme was about the tolerance of people living very different lives--whether one concludes this is by choice or some other determinant,--can this be done without the judgement of those who live with the more mainstream "norms"? Much food for thought here.
I found the writing somewhat uneven -- meaning that at times it flowed fast, insightful, thought-provoking, and delightful, and at other times cliched and too nose-on with telling instead of showing. I also found the head-hopping a bit clunky.
Nonetheless, I am not shy to put down a book that doesn't grab me, and I certainly was compelled to see what happened to each character and see how it all wrapped up. Great job.
April 22, 2025
Rating: 3* of five
The Publisher Says: "Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive."
Ilana has an enviable job at the opera house, a committed relationship, and a cozy Greenwich Village apartment, but the questions inside of her are growing insistent. Is it due to her scientist boyfriend's research on how people make their decisions, or is she suffering suppressed grief from the death of her adoptive mother? She becomes curious about who she would be if she'd grown up in her birth home. Is she truly who she thinks she is? Has she ever freely chosen anything at all? When Ilana learns that her birth mom owns a pub upstate, well, what harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? To see, just to see. What begins as curiosity about her choices evolves into a traumatic shift in her world. She loses control of her life. And then, chaos.
Lost in Thought is a novel about unconscious decision-making and the illusion of free will.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.
My Review: Philosophical maunderings wrapped around a handy plot the author found lying around. Neither the plot nor the maunderings did much for me. Then again, they wouldn't...I've been in therapy of some sort since before the author was walking on her own.
Quite a few people will light up like streetlights at dusk when they cotton on to the larger point she's making. James Redfield made boatloads of cash on the same highway, and with far less accomplished prose. I hope Author Serra does, too.
The Publisher Says: "Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive."
Ilana has an enviable job at the opera house, a committed relationship, and a cozy Greenwich Village apartment, but the questions inside of her are growing insistent. Is it due to her scientist boyfriend's research on how people make their decisions, or is she suffering suppressed grief from the death of her adoptive mother? She becomes curious about who she would be if she'd grown up in her birth home. Is she truly who she thinks she is? Has she ever freely chosen anything at all? When Ilana learns that her birth mom owns a pub upstate, well, what harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? To see, just to see. What begins as curiosity about her choices evolves into a traumatic shift in her world. She loses control of her life. And then, chaos.
Lost in Thought is a novel about unconscious decision-making and the illusion of free will.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.
My Review: Philosophical maunderings wrapped around a handy plot the author found lying around. Neither the plot nor the maunderings did much for me. Then again, they wouldn't...I've been in therapy of some sort since before the author was walking on her own.
Quite a few people will light up like streetlights at dusk when they cotton on to the larger point she's making. James Redfield made boatloads of cash on the same highway, and with far less accomplished prose. I hope Author Serra does, too.
October 28, 2024
Lost in Thought by Deborah Serra is a wonderful and thought provoking book that will stay with me for a long time. The author wanted to explore the themes of free will and unconscious decision-making, and did so through a story of love, loss, friendship, family, renewal, self-exploration and letting go. Ilana Barrett appears to have it all; she is beautiful, well educated, in love and has a position as production manager of the successful Lyric Opera. Ilana's adoptive Mother recently died from Covid, and as always Ilana tried to work through her grief without missing a beat in any area of her life. She loved and appreciated her adoptive parents, yet the loss of her mom got her thinking about what her life might have been like if raised by her birth mother. She decided to take a trip to the pub her natural mom and her husband owned- just for one drink and to see her. That trip essentially opened a new and different world to Ilana. While at times I was frustrated by Ilana, I generally liked her very much. Fiona, her natural mother and her family, her dearest friend William, and the lovely yet provocative 75 year old Isabella Wharton all touched my heart. The book does include sensitive topics including death, Covid, AIDS, griefand teen pregnancy, yet they are integral to the story and written with mastery and grace. I loved Lost in Thought, it captivated my mind and spirit. Thank you to NetGalley, Koehler Books and Deborah Serra for the opportunity to read and review an ARC of Lost in Thought; this review reflects my honest opinion. 5 stars.
October 5, 2024
Ilana has an enviable job at the opera house, a committed relationship, and a cosy Greenwich Village apartment, but the questions inside her are becoming insistent. Is it due to her scientist boyfriend's research on how people make their decisions, or is she suffering suppressed grief from the death of her adoptive mother? She becomes curious about who she would be if she'd grown up in her birth home. Is she truly who she thinks she is? Has she ever freely chosen anything at all? When Ilana learns that her birth mum owns a pub upstate, well, what harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? To see, just to see. What begins as curiosity about her choices evolves into a traumatic shift in her world. She loses control of her life. And then, chaos.
This is a thought-provoking story. Ilana Barrett is a production manager at the Lyric Opera House in New York City. Her partner, Adam, is a scientist. Ilana was adopted, and she finds out her mother, Fiona, runs a bar in Albany. She decides to go and visit the pub and see what her mother is like.
The characters are intriguing. Will the knowledge of her background make Ilana become a different person? This book had me asking myself so many questions. Unfortunately, I was over 50% before I became fully invested in this book.
Published 22nd October 2024
I would like to thank #NetGalley #KoehlerBooks and the author #DeborahSerra for my ARC of #LostInThought in exchange for an honest review.
This is a thought-provoking story. Ilana Barrett is a production manager at the Lyric Opera House in New York City. Her partner, Adam, is a scientist. Ilana was adopted, and she finds out her mother, Fiona, runs a bar in Albany. She decides to go and visit the pub and see what her mother is like.
The characters are intriguing. Will the knowledge of her background make Ilana become a different person? This book had me asking myself so many questions. Unfortunately, I was over 50% before I became fully invested in this book.
Published 22nd October 2024
I would like to thank #NetGalley #KoehlerBooks and the author #DeborahSerra for my ARC of #LostInThought in exchange for an honest review.
October 25, 2024
‘Does your mind wander? Where does it go without you?’ – An involving novel!
California author Deborah Serra is a screenwriter, playwright, editor of literary magazine After Dinner Conversation, and novelist – Primal, 2 Broads Abroad, and now LOST IN THOUGHT.
Serra’s writing skills reflect her visual artistry in composing works for stage and screen, and in this immersive novel she has created a character in Ilana who not only carries attention with her life struggles – myriad choices and the illusion of free will – but also is a mirror for the reader’s introspection. An early example of her behaviors is in response to being in an elevator when a limping woman (MS) enters and Ilana inquires about her injured foot! ‘Ilana’s face got hot, and her body froze simultaneously. It was a paradox of physicality. She mumbled something unintelligible that she hoped sounded sympathetic but not patronizing, and then she stood properly erect and looked forward uneasily. She felt guilty for her capable body, which she took for granted. Her intentions were good, but it made for a starkly quiet ride. She smiled awkwardly at the woman as she exited the elevator, and then she listened to her brain screw her over all day long.’
A brief overview on the novel: Ilana has an enviable job as production manager at the Lyric Opera House, a committed relationship, a cozy Greenwich Village apartment, wonderful friends and the satisfying feeling of accomplishment. But the questions growing insistent inside her are about to shift the trajectory of her life.’
Reading Lost In Thought initiates introspection, and in sculpting vivid characters that serve as mental pawns, the author not only successfully entertains but also stimulates valuable insights. Recommended on many levels.
California author Deborah Serra is a screenwriter, playwright, editor of literary magazine After Dinner Conversation, and novelist – Primal, 2 Broads Abroad, and now LOST IN THOUGHT.
Serra’s writing skills reflect her visual artistry in composing works for stage and screen, and in this immersive novel she has created a character in Ilana who not only carries attention with her life struggles – myriad choices and the illusion of free will – but also is a mirror for the reader’s introspection. An early example of her behaviors is in response to being in an elevator when a limping woman (MS) enters and Ilana inquires about her injured foot! ‘Ilana’s face got hot, and her body froze simultaneously. It was a paradox of physicality. She mumbled something unintelligible that she hoped sounded sympathetic but not patronizing, and then she stood properly erect and looked forward uneasily. She felt guilty for her capable body, which she took for granted. Her intentions were good, but it made for a starkly quiet ride. She smiled awkwardly at the woman as she exited the elevator, and then she listened to her brain screw her over all day long.’
A brief overview on the novel: Ilana has an enviable job as production manager at the Lyric Opera House, a committed relationship, a cozy Greenwich Village apartment, wonderful friends and the satisfying feeling of accomplishment. But the questions growing insistent inside her are about to shift the trajectory of her life.’
Reading Lost In Thought initiates introspection, and in sculpting vivid characters that serve as mental pawns, the author not only successfully entertains but also stimulates valuable insights. Recommended on many levels.
October 25, 2024
First time reading anything by this author, but I was intrigued so I started reading and then I wondered what was I reading? This book is about “unconscious decision making, and the illusion of free will.”
it seemed like to me, as I was reading this, were just random thoughts pieced together to justify unconscious decision-making. There are many characters in this story introduced which don’t really add to the plot or the circumstance around the main character.
I had a hard time stay focused on the story of the main character experiencing grief , wanting to know more about her birth mother, meeting people outside of her normal world, making decisions that are not in line with what normally would do, and then, blaming unconscious decision-making to be the reason for those erratic decisions.
There were random things conveyed about a side character that didn’t really add to the the story. It made me wonder how does this person making lists, or being a certain way really add or take away from their personality. There wasn’t any additional explanation. Just random thoughts, tangentially placed throughout the story.
I struggled with the story. I didn’t feel any empathy for Ilana, she almost comes across self serving.
it seemed like to me, as I was reading this, were just random thoughts pieced together to justify unconscious decision-making. There are many characters in this story introduced which don’t really add to the plot or the circumstance around the main character.
I had a hard time stay focused on the story of the main character experiencing grief , wanting to know more about her birth mother, meeting people outside of her normal world, making decisions that are not in line with what normally would do, and then, blaming unconscious decision-making to be the reason for those erratic decisions.
There were random things conveyed about a side character that didn’t really add to the the story. It made me wonder how does this person making lists, or being a certain way really add or take away from their personality. There wasn’t any additional explanation. Just random thoughts, tangentially placed throughout the story.
I struggled with the story. I didn’t feel any empathy for Ilana, she almost comes across self serving.
February 2, 2025
Ilana is the perfect career woman, with the right family behind her, the right studies, the right character, flexible enough not to run afoul of the difficulties of the job, and strong enough to lead with a firm hand in a place that is as full of drama and dramatic personalities as an opera house. She also has the perfect boyfriend, a top neuroscientist who is also beautiful and extremely capable as a populariser. She also has the perfect best friend, a psychotherapist with whom she had a brief affair before he came out. Only, after the covid death of her adoptive mother, all this perfection seems to start to get tight for Ilana, who eventually, in what should be a very brief moment of rebellion and recognition, decides to go and meet her biological family. What she discovers is an imperfect but loving world, which, little by little, changes the way she sees things, finally helping her to make choices that are not entirely conditional.
The book is well-written and very interesting, especially for the questions it asks and prompts us to ask ourselves about whether the choices we make are really ours, but it has a few too many clichés and some contradictions in the handling of the characters.
The book is well-written and very interesting, especially for the questions it asks and prompts us to ask ourselves about whether the choices we make are really ours, but it has a few too many clichés and some contradictions in the handling of the characters.
July 11, 2025
Originally posted on my blog Nonstop Reader.
Lost in Thought is a standalone novel about life and free will by Deborah Serra. Released 22nd Oct 2024, it's 256 pages and is available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links throughout.
It's intrinsically human to think "what if" about decisions we made, and that's what the author elevates to art throughout this contemplative novel. Content includes covid, loss, adoption, trauma, and how seemingly innocuous minor choices have follow on effects. Readers will either resonate with the contemplative nature of the writing or else be frustrated by the hazy and undefined navel gazing.
Three and a half stars. Serious and bleak in places. The writing is disjointed and uneven in places, but overall intriguing.
Disclosure: I received an ARC at no cost from the author/publisher for review purposes.
Lost in Thought is a standalone novel about life and free will by Deborah Serra. Released 22nd Oct 2024, it's 256 pages and is available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links throughout.
It's intrinsically human to think "what if" about decisions we made, and that's what the author elevates to art throughout this contemplative novel. Content includes covid, loss, adoption, trauma, and how seemingly innocuous minor choices have follow on effects. Readers will either resonate with the contemplative nature of the writing or else be frustrated by the hazy and undefined navel gazing.
Three and a half stars. Serious and bleak in places. The writing is disjointed and uneven in places, but overall intriguing.
Disclosure: I received an ARC at no cost from the author/publisher for review purposes.
October 21, 2024
Lost in Thought follows the story of Ilana, who has an amazing career at the opera house and a perfect New York life. She is in a committed relationship with a neuroscientist who is studying how people make their decisions. When Ilana's adoptive Mum sadly dies it brings up questions about her birth mother, so she embarks on a journey to find out where she came from. This sends her life down a completely different path and sees Ilana questioning who she really is.
This is nothing like the books I usually read but, having studied philosophy in the past, I was intrigued. For a while, it felt like nothing really happened, but before I knew it I was fully drawn in to the story.
Whilst not being as action packed and fast paced as my usual reads, this was a beautifully written story that will have you questioning whether we have free will atall and wondering how many of our decisions are already made for us.
My thanks to NetGalley for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review.
This is nothing like the books I usually read but, having studied philosophy in the past, I was intrigued. For a while, it felt like nothing really happened, but before I knew it I was fully drawn in to the story.
Whilst not being as action packed and fast paced as my usual reads, this was a beautifully written story that will have you questioning whether we have free will atall and wondering how many of our decisions are already made for us.
My thanks to NetGalley for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review.
October 21, 2024
Ilana, the main character thinks a lot. In the first section, I found her too introspective. Once she arrived in Albany, the plot engaged me more and I ended up enjoying the book a lot . Ilana seems to have it all, a high flying job , an appartment in West village New York, interesting friends and a relationship with Adam, a scientist. She was adopted and after the death of her adoptive parents, looks into finding her biological family. This has severe repercussions for her life and relationships with others, which does make interesting reading. She is a thinker and spends a lot of time pondering about lifestyle choices and relationships, so the book might not be for you if you find that irritating. I had difficulty, at first, with the unusual structure of the book. No chapters as such and the first part was quite long, that became a minor issue as the book progressed and hooked me in more though.
thanks to Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
thanks to Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
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