It Takes A Family: A Cooperative Approach to Lasting Sobriety

by Debra Jay

Counselor and interventionist Debra Jay shows alcoholics, other addicts, and their loved ones how to work collaboratively and as individuals to take on the roles and responsibilities that support long-term sobriety

Most books on recovery from addiction focus either on the addict or the family. While most alcoholics and addicts coming out of treatment have a recovery plan, families are often left to figure things out for themselves. In It Takes a Family, Debra Jay takes a fresh approach to the recovery process by making family members and friends part of the recovery team, beginning in the early stages of sobriety.
In straightforward, compassionate language, she outlines a structured model that shows family members both how to take personal responsibility and to build a circle of support to meet the obstacles common to the first year of recovery. Together, family members address the challenges of enabling, denial, and pain while developing their communication skills through practical, easy-to-follow strategies and exercises designed to create transparency and accountability. With this invaluable guide, family members work together as they reinvent their relationships without the all-consuming dysfunction of active addiction.

260 pages, Paperback

First published October 21, 2014

About the author

Debra Jay’s latest books are "It Takes a Family, 2nd edition: Creating Lasting Sobriety, Togetherness, and Happiness," and "Love First 3rd edition: A Family’s Guide to Intervention," both published by Hazelden (2021). She is also author of "No More Letting Go: The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and Drug Addiction," published by Bantam (2006). She co-authored the book "Aging and Addiction," published by Hazelden (2002).

She is co-founder of a private practice providing clinical intervention services nationally and is founder of Structured Family Recovery® services and training. She designed the highly acclaimed Love First Clinical Intervention Training Program first hosted annually by the Betty Ford Center and now at The Retreat in Minnesota. Debra previously worked as an addictions clinician for the Hazelden Foundation (Hanley-Hazelden) working in inpatient treatment. She was the first coordinator of the older adult program and served as facilitator of the family program.

Ms. Jay has served as trustee on several boards including the Care Continuum Board for the St. John Board of Trustees, and the Dawn Farm Board of Trustees.

She has designed an advocacy website designed to help families concerned about an addicted loved one receive in-depth information at no cost, GetHelpGiveHelp.info. She also founded The Best Minds Podcast, creating a space for families and the best minds in the addiction treatment field to come together (lovefirst.net).

Ms. Jay regularly appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show for 3 seasons as an addictions expert. She has also been on The Dr. Oz Show, and has been writing a newspaper column since 1996 on issues related to addiction and the family.

Reviews

[Cassie Selleck · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for ANYONE dealing with an addict or alcoholic in your family or circle of friends. At once hopeful and realistic, I wish I had read this book long ago...before my own family was devastated by addiction and loss.

[Kristin Agar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the very best book on how families are affected by addiction. It provides explanation of the disease process and offers hope and a pathway to healing for the entire family system. The book is a must read for anyone working in the addiction field, and a must read for anyone affected by addiction. I have read It Takes A Family multiple times and I continue to learn from it and to share it with families I work with all over the country.

We all owe Debra Jay thanks beyond measure for her gift of It takes A Family! I can't wait to read the new edition which is out now!

[Celeen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very informative and easy to read. The format is broken down nicely and excellent resources are listed. I would recommend this book to any family member who is trying to assist a loved one striving for recovery.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Debra Jay combines her passion and outstanding research to build a simple action based process for families and loved one affected by alcoholism or addiction. Structured Family Recovery uses the power of recovery principles to walk beside our recovering loved ones.

[Lisa Hinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an indispensable resource for families struggling with a loved one’s addiction. It is also a helpful resource for any therapist working with them. It is easy to read, follow and apply in a very short period of time with tangible results in changing the family dynamic.

[Blaine Morrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though this is designed as a sort of guidebook for Structured Family Recovery, it is also an excellent resource for anyone either in recovery from addiction or indirectly involved in the process.

[Judy Desetti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great information about alcoholism and how to get help, set up a Family Recovery Team.

I will plan to get my own copy and then re-read it.