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Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls
A fresh, surprising, and empowering guide to better understanding teenage girls.
Written with warmth and humour, Underestimated is the first book to invite us into a teenage girl’s brain and heart, as told from the point of view of a beloved and trusted mentor. Chelsey Goodan is a highly sought-after academic tutor who has worked with hundreds of girls from all different backgrounds, earning their trust, confidence, and friendship. They in turn have shared with her their innermost concerns, doubts, and what they wish they could communicate to their parents and the world at large.
With topics and language directly chosen by the girls, Goodan reveals how the solutions to a girl’s wellbeing lie within her. She offers parents the exact words they can use to help her discover these solutions and demonstrates how adults can better support a teenage girl’s voice to create positive change.
Rather than dismissing teenage girls based on our own fears or treating them as problems that need to be solved, Goodan encourages us as parents, and as a society, to help girls unleash their power and celebrate their intrinsic wisdom, creating more healing and connection for everyone. With inspiring ease, Underestimated shows us how to do this with accessible advice, entertaining narratives, and profound wisdom.
Written with warmth and humour, Underestimated is the first book to invite us into a teenage girl’s brain and heart, as told from the point of view of a beloved and trusted mentor. Chelsey Goodan is a highly sought-after academic tutor who has worked with hundreds of girls from all different backgrounds, earning their trust, confidence, and friendship. They in turn have shared with her their innermost concerns, doubts, and what they wish they could communicate to their parents and the world at large.
With topics and language directly chosen by the girls, Goodan reveals how the solutions to a girl’s wellbeing lie within her. She offers parents the exact words they can use to help her discover these solutions and demonstrates how adults can better support a teenage girl’s voice to create positive change.
Rather than dismissing teenage girls based on our own fears or treating them as problems that need to be solved, Goodan encourages us as parents, and as a society, to help girls unleash their power and celebrate their intrinsic wisdom, creating more healing and connection for everyone. With inspiring ease, Underestimated shows us how to do this with accessible advice, entertaining narratives, and profound wisdom.
272 pages, Paperback
Published March 4, 2025
97 people are currently reading
8175 people want to read
About the author
Chelsey Goodan
1 book22 followersCHELSEY GOODAN has been an academic tutor and mentor for sixteen years, with a particular emphasis on the empowerment of teenage girls. She speaks regularly to audiences about gender justice, conducts workshops, and coaches parents on how to better understand and connect with their daughters. She is the mentorship director of the nonprofit DemocraShe, and founder of The Activist Cartel. As an activist, she advises public figures, galvanizes volunteers, and organizes large-scale events for national nonprofits, while also serving on the board of A Call to Men. Her passion to explore humanity’s potential for authenticity, liberation, and empowerment permeates all of her work. A graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, Chelsey lives in Los Angeles.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 75 reviews
June 17, 2024
This was so powerful and so practical! I’m not a parent, teacher, or teen mentor, but I am a former teenage girl, and I really think every adult should read this. Goodan points out that the idea of an inner child – healing your inner child, re-parenting your inner child, letting your inner child out – is widely culturally accepted, but there’s not really an understanding of healing your inner teenager! This seems so radical and was very meaningful to me – to think about who I was as a teen, what I needed then, what I did and didn’t get, how I would talk to my teen self if I could, etc. I feel I’m going to take better care of my inner teen for the rest of my life.
I loved how Goodan takes so many huge concepts in a teen girl (or any person)’s life (e.g. confidence, friendship, sexuality, honesty) and not only explores why they matter, how people are devalued through them, and how we can empower each other and ourselves through them, but translates all those things into real everyday conversations. She gives examples of conversations she’s had with the many teenagers she mentors (and the whole book was reviewed by many of them!) as well as offering more general language and tools of meaningful conversation.
Also, it’s so funny and warm throughout. You can tell Goodan has so much care and respect for the teens she knows and for teens as a class of people. Teenage girls are powerful and capable and living under so much pressure! They have incredible bullshit detectors and will change the world! And yet they’re seen as vapid and silly and mean and merely preparing for real life! Protect the teens! Support the teens!! Thank you Chelsey Goodan!!
I loved how Goodan takes so many huge concepts in a teen girl (or any person)’s life (e.g. confidence, friendship, sexuality, honesty) and not only explores why they matter, how people are devalued through them, and how we can empower each other and ourselves through them, but translates all those things into real everyday conversations. She gives examples of conversations she’s had with the many teenagers she mentors (and the whole book was reviewed by many of them!) as well as offering more general language and tools of meaningful conversation.
Also, it’s so funny and warm throughout. You can tell Goodan has so much care and respect for the teens she knows and for teens as a class of people. Teenage girls are powerful and capable and living under so much pressure! They have incredible bullshit detectors and will change the world! And yet they’re seen as vapid and silly and mean and merely preparing for real life! Protect the teens! Support the teens!! Thank you Chelsey Goodan!!
May 22, 2024
This is so good! I listened to the audiobook and really enjoyed that. This brought back up a lot of memories of my own frustrations when I was a teenage girl which was interesting.
This book gave me a lot of practical guidance for being a youth leader. Like with anything, the gap between best practice and actually doing it can feel wide with Chelsey’s advice. I feel like I can apply this better with girls I mentor, but way less so with my own teenage gal in my life.
This book gave me a lot of practical guidance for being a youth leader. Like with anything, the gap between best practice and actually doing it can feel wide with Chelsey’s advice. I feel like I can apply this better with girls I mentor, but way less so with my own teenage gal in my life.
March 25, 2024
Essential reading if you have or work with teenage girls, or will someday. A fav quote: “Do not underestimate young women’s ability to shred toxic systems.”
March 10, 2024
Between 3 & 4 stars. If you don’t know much about sexism and the pressures on teen girls, this is a good overview but it needs some additional depth.
The author shares a lot of research about girls and some of it is insightful. In many places I wasn’t convinced that an insight was unique to girls. In others the verbiage is trite. In yet others the informal tone similar to how someone would speak to a peer undermined her authority. For example, in the sexuality section she writes “…I don’t think anyone is okay with these horrific statistics.” And “I’ve had so many amazing, supportive men in my life stand by me…” It read like a Gender Studies 101 assignment, though I suspect she was trying to be conversational. She comes across as naive again when she mentions working with a girl from Kenya who sought better models for beauty and drew from “African culture.” So many Eurocentric people lump the whole continent into one box, completely ignoring the diversity of countrieS and cultureS there. The culture of Kenya is undoubtedly different than Egypt or Algeria. Why completely dismiss that?
In other places her arguments are more perceptive and substantial, in the power section, for example. She notes that girls tend not to be inspired by behaviors and spaces traditionally associated with power. They are related to domination, exploitation and self-interest, whereas girls tend to be more communicative, empathetic, and collaborative.
I’m not sure what to make of Goodan’s background and authority to advise parents. As an experienced tutor and coach, she is in close contact and undeniably knows a lot about them. But she’s not a parent and doesn’t acknowledge that what she’s learned and the approaches she uses are free from the baggage a parent/child relationship would have. Therefore, they won’t work the same way. Her ideas can be a starting point and adapted for the kids in one’s life, but they’d need a lot of supplements.
A central recommendation that I DO think is highly effective is asking open-ended questions that ask girls directly what they think and feel. That ask them how they want to be treated and what solutions they think will work. It is important to empower girls.
I appreciate the ARC from #kismetbooks in Verona WI.
The author shares a lot of research about girls and some of it is insightful. In many places I wasn’t convinced that an insight was unique to girls. In others the verbiage is trite. In yet others the informal tone similar to how someone would speak to a peer undermined her authority. For example, in the sexuality section she writes “…I don’t think anyone is okay with these horrific statistics.” And “I’ve had so many amazing, supportive men in my life stand by me…” It read like a Gender Studies 101 assignment, though I suspect she was trying to be conversational. She comes across as naive again when she mentions working with a girl from Kenya who sought better models for beauty and drew from “African culture.” So many Eurocentric people lump the whole continent into one box, completely ignoring the diversity of countrieS and cultureS there. The culture of Kenya is undoubtedly different than Egypt or Algeria. Why completely dismiss that?
In other places her arguments are more perceptive and substantial, in the power section, for example. She notes that girls tend not to be inspired by behaviors and spaces traditionally associated with power. They are related to domination, exploitation and self-interest, whereas girls tend to be more communicative, empathetic, and collaborative.
I’m not sure what to make of Goodan’s background and authority to advise parents. As an experienced tutor and coach, she is in close contact and undeniably knows a lot about them. But she’s not a parent and doesn’t acknowledge that what she’s learned and the approaches she uses are free from the baggage a parent/child relationship would have. Therefore, they won’t work the same way. Her ideas can be a starting point and adapted for the kids in one’s life, but they’d need a lot of supplements.
A central recommendation that I DO think is highly effective is asking open-ended questions that ask girls directly what they think and feel. That ask them how they want to be treated and what solutions they think will work. It is important to empower girls.
I appreciate the ARC from #kismetbooks in Verona WI.
September 14, 2024
Chelsey is awesome and so is this book! It was teen girls who spread the gospel of the Beatles before men declared them music legends; it was teen girls who got shit for listening to Bieber before it started being cool to play him at parties. Society has ALWAYS belittled young women and dismissed their intelligence and their power. It’s so healing — and about damn time — we have a book to correct this narrative and shine a spotlight on just how resilient teen girls are.
March 9, 2024
Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls by Chelsey Goodan is an excellent resource for any parent, in my opinion. Though it says teenage girls, as a mother of two teenage boys, I resonated with it so much as well.
We have heard healing our inner child, but as the author has written, have we ever healed our inner teenager. I am IFS informed, and my inner teenager part answered that question for me very loud and clear. With very easy to understand terms, references, and resources, this book is excellent. I will be recommending this book to a lot of people because not only is this book for a parent but also for our own healing. I firmly believe that in our own healing lies the key to how we show up for our own children, families, and society.
Thank you, Gallery Books, for this book.
We have heard healing our inner child, but as the author has written, have we ever healed our inner teenager. I am IFS informed, and my inner teenager part answered that question for me very loud and clear. With very easy to understand terms, references, and resources, this book is excellent. I will be recommending this book to a lot of people because not only is this book for a parent but also for our own healing. I firmly believe that in our own healing lies the key to how we show up for our own children, families, and society.
Thank you, Gallery Books, for this book.
February 14, 2024
I won an ARC of this book from a Goodreads giveaway.
I wish this had been available for my parents when I was a teenager. And honestly, even as a 40 year old woman, I took a decent amount away from reading. Not just about teens but about myself. The people pleasing chapter, in particular, hit home.
While I don’t have any teens in my household, I’m excited to pass this along to friends.
I wish this had been available for my parents when I was a teenager. And honestly, even as a 40 year old woman, I took a decent amount away from reading. Not just about teens but about myself. The people pleasing chapter, in particular, hit home.
While I don’t have any teens in my household, I’m excited to pass this along to friends.
June 24, 2024
3.5 rounded up
Had some great takeaways that made me deeply reflect on my misconceptions as well as my own teenage experience. I enjoyed the direct quotes from the girls. It did get repetitive, and I wasn't a fan of the author's writing style at times. The solutions offered also felt oversimplified.
Had some great takeaways that made me deeply reflect on my misconceptions as well as my own teenage experience. I enjoyed the direct quotes from the girls. It did get repetitive, and I wasn't a fan of the author's writing style at times. The solutions offered also felt oversimplified.
March 27, 2024
LOVED this book!! It was very healing to hear an adult affirming the things I desperately wanted to hear as a teenager. This book is def geared towards a parent of a teenage girl, while I picked it up to be a better mentor for the teenagers I work with. There were points I couldn’t connect to as Im not parenting these kids myself and have no desire to be a parent but it was still interesting!!
The author is a tutor/mentor for teenagers and I learned a lot about how to show up for them through her depictions of their interactions and how she navigates the questions they ask her.
Overall, great read if you want to better understand how to affirm and give space to teenage girls in your life!!!
The author is a tutor/mentor for teenagers and I learned a lot about how to show up for them through her depictions of their interactions and how she navigates the questions they ask her.
Overall, great read if you want to better understand how to affirm and give space to teenage girls in your life!!!
March 10, 2024
I read an ARC of this book, which came out this month!! I am really looking forward to reading the finished pub and forcing my parents to do a book club and discussion questions with me 😊 I think in terms of conversations parents can have with their teen daughters, the HOW and genuine-interest that Goodan emphasizes are incredible. And she's right that this book can help you Listen and have better conversations with everyone.
June 12, 2024
Recommended read for parents and educators. There are a few parts where I felt like it was redundant, but the overall message of how to communicate better with teens, girls in particular, is powerful.
As adults, I hear things said to teen girls and I catch myself thinking, they’re going to remember that for the rest of their lives. The author gives great examples from her own life as well as from many teens that I found to be relatable.
As a society, we often don’t take into account much that teens think or say, and I felt that the strategies shared here are simple, easy changes to make in our day to day communication with teens, yet are also ones that can help build a confident, empowered generation rather than one that questions everything they do.
If you have teens or work with teens in any capacity, read this book!
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
As adults, I hear things said to teen girls and I catch myself thinking, they’re going to remember that for the rest of their lives. The author gives great examples from her own life as well as from many teens that I found to be relatable.
As a society, we often don’t take into account much that teens think or say, and I felt that the strategies shared here are simple, easy changes to make in our day to day communication with teens, yet are also ones that can help build a confident, empowered generation rather than one that questions everything they do.
If you have teens or work with teens in any capacity, read this book!
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
May 19, 2025
I think this is one of the better books I've read on parenting and teenage girls. The author is really tuned into the inner world of teenage girls. Heck even as an adult this book really spoke to teenage Amanda. I highly recommend a listen or a read. I liked the author reading it. She was really engaging and delivered the book well. The chapters are short, but insightful. They come with a lot of good knowledge, real life tibits, and chunk size information to take with you. I really also appreciate the free guides that came with the book. I think even teenage girls would enjoy this one.
August 13, 2024
The book every body needs to read! For everyone that is a teenage girl, was a teenage girl, has a teenage girl or knows a teenage girl…incredibly valuable insights, practical tips and guidance. As someone in their 30s, I found it transported me back to my teenage years and I found the themes and discussion points still very relatable. Would absolutely recommend.
October 10, 2024
4.5 stars
WOW! My inner teenage girl feels so heard and loved after reading this book. I feel equipped with tips and tools to help me be an active listener with my daughter and other teens and tweens around me, encouraging the future filled with honesty and love-centered care that I want so much for them.
WOW! My inner teenage girl feels so heard and loved after reading this book. I feel equipped with tips and tools to help me be an active listener with my daughter and other teens and tweens around me, encouraging the future filled with honesty and love-centered care that I want so much for them.
April 29, 2024
Valuable insights, but the tone grated on me for some reason. Good quotes, though.
April 21, 2025
I read this book to better connect with my younger sisters but ended up healing a part of myself
April 6, 2024
I am not sure there are enough good things to say about Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls. I know, for sure, that I owe Chelsey Goodan a debt of gratitude for so clearly laying out the mistakes we're all making in our interactions with teenage girls--the way we inadvertently misunderstand them, hem them in, make them feel desperate for freedom from our expectations--and how to FIX them (the mistakes, not the girls. The girls, it turns out, are WAY more okay than we imagine).
I took me forever to get through this very readable, highly narrative book, because I didn't want to miss anything. I wanted it all to soak into my brain--and I wanted to implement the suggestions and tips Goodan offers in communicating with my own teenage daughter.
Underestimated has changed not only the way I communicate with my daughter, but the way I communicate with all the people in my closest circle. For me, the biggest takeaway was LISTENING. And not listening with an agenda. Not planning what I'll say next. But deep listening that hears the meaning behind the words.
The chapters that floored me, that I literally had to just sit quietly with for a bit, were the last two chapters: Power & Liberation. Get ready for what teenage girls think about these topics. It will blow your mind. And give you a lot of hope for where these girls are trying to take us--if we can give them space, allow them to be themselves, and drop the old scripts that have confined and controlled women of all ages for entirely too long.
I want every person who parents a teenage girl, or who has a close kinship or chosen family relationship with one, to read this book. It will change everything in your relationship with her for the better...IF you are willing to listen, to take down your own walls, to do the work. It's an ongoing process. But she is worth it. Every time.
Support Bookish and buy your copy of Underestimated here: https://bookshop.org/a/4334/978166803...
I took me forever to get through this very readable, highly narrative book, because I didn't want to miss anything. I wanted it all to soak into my brain--and I wanted to implement the suggestions and tips Goodan offers in communicating with my own teenage daughter.
Underestimated has changed not only the way I communicate with my daughter, but the way I communicate with all the people in my closest circle. For me, the biggest takeaway was LISTENING. And not listening with an agenda. Not planning what I'll say next. But deep listening that hears the meaning behind the words.
The chapters that floored me, that I literally had to just sit quietly with for a bit, were the last two chapters: Power & Liberation. Get ready for what teenage girls think about these topics. It will blow your mind. And give you a lot of hope for where these girls are trying to take us--if we can give them space, allow them to be themselves, and drop the old scripts that have confined and controlled women of all ages for entirely too long.
I want every person who parents a teenage girl, or who has a close kinship or chosen family relationship with one, to read this book. It will change everything in your relationship with her for the better...IF you are willing to listen, to take down your own walls, to do the work. It's an ongoing process. But she is worth it. Every time.
Support Bookish and buy your copy of Underestimated here: https://bookshop.org/a/4334/978166803...
April 15, 2024
I absolutely LOVED this book!!
I can't believe how much it helped me. Each of the chapters dives into a different topic that I think everyone struggles with. Stuff like Self-Doubt, Beauty, and Shame, but the author does it in a really hopeful and inspiring way. She has a really entertaining voice in the way that she writes, which keeps your attention.
I truly loved this book and I hope everyone reads it!
I can't believe how much it helped me. Each of the chapters dives into a different topic that I think everyone struggles with. Stuff like Self-Doubt, Beauty, and Shame, but the author does it in a really hopeful and inspiring way. She has a really entertaining voice in the way that she writes, which keeps your attention.
I truly loved this book and I hope everyone reads it!
April 17, 2024
A must read for parents of teenage girls. And former teenage girls. 😉
Not only did I get some insight and ideas of better understanding my daughter. I was able to reflect on ideas for my teenage son. And surprisingly heal a chunk of my inner teenage self. 💕
Excellent!
Not only did I get some insight and ideas of better understanding my daughter. I was able to reflect on ideas for my teenage son. And surprisingly heal a chunk of my inner teenage self. 💕
Excellent!
May 14, 2024
Here's what I absolutely loved about this book:
-I loved Goodan's suggestions for mentoring teen girls by asking thoughtful questions. Her suggestions for questions were insightful and helpful. Asking questions opens the door for discussion and reveals inner thoughts, motives, and attitudes.
-I loved her take on some topics like perfectionism, beauty, and self-confidence. Goodan has eloquent wisdom to share with both teens and those who spend time with teens, especially in these chapters.
Here's why I gave it three stars:
-I seriously take issue with her essential claim that it is better for parents, teachers, and mentors of teens to let a teen have complete freedom in all choices and figure everything out by the school of hard knocks. I actually think that is cruel and dangerous. It is one thing to let a thirteen year old girl develop her own sense of fashion, make her choices in friendship, and start to take responsibility for things like her grades and her behavior at school and to bear the responsibility therein. However, it is quite another to simply allow her to make dangerous, life-altering choices and "learn the hard way" because of a fear that establishing any rules or boundaries will drive her to rebel or handicap her decision-making ability. Teenagers absolutely need to have more responsibility in decision-making than small children, but teenagers are not yet adults. They are in between children and adults, and brain science shows that their prefrontal cortex is far from developed. Just as it would be cruel to just let a five year old touch a hot stove so that they would "learn" for themselves not to do that, teen girls shouldn't have to "learn" from experience all of the many ways they can make life-altering decisions in their teen years that will lead to crippling trauma, addiction, disease, maiming, or all. This is why working with teens is so difficult: it should be a gradual release of responsibility of decision-making from authority figure to child. Probably no one gets it exactly right, but I was disturbed by how totally Goodan suggests that all guardrails be taken off. It is a function of being a teen to feel like you are more mature and ready for more responsibility than you are, which is why relationships with teens are sometimes a push-pull between teens and authorities, but I believe that the tension around boundaries can be navigated with love and lots of discussion while slowly taking the training wheels off in a way that won't cause a fatal accident. Getting through teen years healthy and in one piece really is a feat in of itself. Teens should be encouraged to think about the nature and purpose of boundaries in place by good authority figures who desire to see the teens both grow and thrive. Work with the authority figures within the good boundaries rather than fighting against all boundaries wholesale simply because they are there.
-Overall, I think that Goodan's claims are formed from a faulty sample size of teens. While the over-achieving, perfectionist, justice-minded teens she tutors probably are very mature for their age and can handle more responsibility than some of their peers, assuming that all teens are at the same level of self-reflection and care for how their actions affect others is a one size fits all approach. I believe that all teens need their training wheels removed in different phases at different times and in different ways depending on the unique characteristics and struggles. While some teens need firm boundaries in certain areas to keep them from jumping off the proverbial cliff without a parachute, others need not only the removal of boundaries but also a nudge out of the nest to spread their wings and fly, and some need boundaries in some areas and a nudge in others. One needs to KNOW teens to know what each really needs to best flourish during her teen years. I think it's unhelpful to make parents, teachers, and mentors feel guilty for ever employing rules/boundaries wholesale that teens take issue with at the time when that might be what that individual needs at that time.
-I loved Goodan's suggestions for mentoring teen girls by asking thoughtful questions. Her suggestions for questions were insightful and helpful. Asking questions opens the door for discussion and reveals inner thoughts, motives, and attitudes.
-I loved her take on some topics like perfectionism, beauty, and self-confidence. Goodan has eloquent wisdom to share with both teens and those who spend time with teens, especially in these chapters.
Here's why I gave it three stars:
-I seriously take issue with her essential claim that it is better for parents, teachers, and mentors of teens to let a teen have complete freedom in all choices and figure everything out by the school of hard knocks. I actually think that is cruel and dangerous. It is one thing to let a thirteen year old girl develop her own sense of fashion, make her choices in friendship, and start to take responsibility for things like her grades and her behavior at school and to bear the responsibility therein. However, it is quite another to simply allow her to make dangerous, life-altering choices and "learn the hard way" because of a fear that establishing any rules or boundaries will drive her to rebel or handicap her decision-making ability. Teenagers absolutely need to have more responsibility in decision-making than small children, but teenagers are not yet adults. They are in between children and adults, and brain science shows that their prefrontal cortex is far from developed. Just as it would be cruel to just let a five year old touch a hot stove so that they would "learn" for themselves not to do that, teen girls shouldn't have to "learn" from experience all of the many ways they can make life-altering decisions in their teen years that will lead to crippling trauma, addiction, disease, maiming, or all. This is why working with teens is so difficult: it should be a gradual release of responsibility of decision-making from authority figure to child. Probably no one gets it exactly right, but I was disturbed by how totally Goodan suggests that all guardrails be taken off. It is a function of being a teen to feel like you are more mature and ready for more responsibility than you are, which is why relationships with teens are sometimes a push-pull between teens and authorities, but I believe that the tension around boundaries can be navigated with love and lots of discussion while slowly taking the training wheels off in a way that won't cause a fatal accident. Getting through teen years healthy and in one piece really is a feat in of itself. Teens should be encouraged to think about the nature and purpose of boundaries in place by good authority figures who desire to see the teens both grow and thrive. Work with the authority figures within the good boundaries rather than fighting against all boundaries wholesale simply because they are there.
-Overall, I think that Goodan's claims are formed from a faulty sample size of teens. While the over-achieving, perfectionist, justice-minded teens she tutors probably are very mature for their age and can handle more responsibility than some of their peers, assuming that all teens are at the same level of self-reflection and care for how their actions affect others is a one size fits all approach. I believe that all teens need their training wheels removed in different phases at different times and in different ways depending on the unique characteristics and struggles. While some teens need firm boundaries in certain areas to keep them from jumping off the proverbial cliff without a parachute, others need not only the removal of boundaries but also a nudge out of the nest to spread their wings and fly, and some need boundaries in some areas and a nudge in others. One needs to KNOW teens to know what each really needs to best flourish during her teen years. I think it's unhelpful to make parents, teachers, and mentors feel guilty for ever employing rules/boundaries wholesale that teens take issue with at the time when that might be what that individual needs at that time.
June 27, 2024
This is what I needed. Immediately beginning a re-read to annotate and take better notes to help apply some of these principles. Trying to break generational trama's is hard and we momma's need more books like this one to help us out. Highly recommend.
2nd read: So good!! Still highly recommend to everyone who has contact with teens. Took tons of notes and feel WAY more confident to face this coming stage of life.
*I won a free copy of this book through a Goodreads Giveaway*
2nd read: So good!! Still highly recommend to everyone who has contact with teens. Took tons of notes and feel WAY more confident to face this coming stage of life.
*I won a free copy of this book through a Goodreads Giveaway*
May 15, 2024
Heal your inner teenager!
This remarkable book is skillfully divided up into perfect sized chapters. Don't rush through it, but eat and then digest each one. This is an excellent path towards making peace with your own inner teenager. Absolutely loved it!!!!!
This remarkable book is skillfully divided up into perfect sized chapters. Don't rush through it, but eat and then digest each one. This is an excellent path towards making peace with your own inner teenager. Absolutely loved it!!!!!
May 15, 2024
Excellent book! I gave it to my niece and she loved it. An empowering book for all ages!
May 12, 2024
An excellent look at what teenage girls are thinking and how to relate to them. Highly recommend for anyone with a teenage girl in their life.
May 12, 2024
Brilliant! Goes beyond the female teen mind
January 22, 2025
If you want to improve your relationship and trust with any human (even yourself), not only teenage girls, get this book. 10/10 recommended. It's one of those books that fundamentally change how you view life, your actions/feelings, and other's actions. If you find yourself thinking any of the stereotypes about any teenage girls in your life (mean, emotional, superficial, irrational, ect) RUN, don't walk, to this book.
I feel that if I ever met the author in real life, we'd be instantaneous friends. Call me, Chelsey.
"I think it's ridiculous how parents withhold compliments from a girl because they don't want her to get a big ego. Women having big egos, that isn't a thing. Society isn't fearing a woman's ego - it's fearing a woman's confidence. It's easier to make a woman who doesn't know her worth be subservient. A woman who knows her worth is what society is actually scared of."
"In response to a regular state of being evaluated, I see teenage girls erect their emotional walls and place guards at the door that carry the weapons of teen fury. Being hostile and vicious can certainly feel a lot safer when no one seems to see or value your authentic self. Rather than building confidence, that rage does everything it can to protect the insecurity hiding behind the walls."
I feel that if I ever met the author in real life, we'd be instantaneous friends. Call me, Chelsey.
"I think it's ridiculous how parents withhold compliments from a girl because they don't want her to get a big ego. Women having big egos, that isn't a thing. Society isn't fearing a woman's ego - it's fearing a woman's confidence. It's easier to make a woman who doesn't know her worth be subservient. A woman who knows her worth is what society is actually scared of."
"In response to a regular state of being evaluated, I see teenage girls erect their emotional walls and place guards at the door that carry the weapons of teen fury. Being hostile and vicious can certainly feel a lot safer when no one seems to see or value your authentic self. Rather than building confidence, that rage does everything it can to protect the insecurity hiding behind the walls."
April 16, 2024
I listened to the author-read audio version of this book, and highly recommend that. I believe that even her intentional vocal inflection and enthusiasm were teaching opportunities to work with unrecognized biases. I loved the anecdotal teaching, but my actual favorite parts were the five-point summaries at the end of each chapter… it was astonishing to me how simple (and HARD) I found her insights and conclusions. I found myself as often thinking about my own inner teen girl as I did about the teen girl I am raising. Healing her ended up being my takeaway. Dammit. In much the same way as her open ended approach to questioning teen girls requires a lot of good listening, and very little “actioning”, I had to tamp down my impulse again and again to demand solutions while reading. I found this an excellent source of guidance and hope.
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April 29, 2024What a refreshing read - teenage girls are worth celebrating!
April 26, 2024
Absolutely wonderful. I wish everyone would read this! For all the teenaged girls around and within us, and for all the men in their lives.
September 11, 2024
4.5 stars. Thoughtful, well-written and accessible without being preachy. I also think much of her insight and advice about teen girls is valuable for all readers, especially women - after all, we were those teen girls not so long ago. A worthwhile read/listen for parents of girls before and during the teen years.
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