Breaking The Good Mom Myth

by Alyson Schafer

From leading parenting expert Alyson Schafer, Breaking the Good Mom Myth breaks down personal and cultural myths about motherhood while empowering mothers everywhere

As a psychotherapist and parenting expert, Alyson Schafer has worked with a great many mothers who, in the quest to be "good mothers," have ended up on the doorstep of despair. Alyson is a fresh-fifty suburbanite and working mother of two, and she can speak to these issues both personally and professionally. This book explains the psycho-social phenomena of how each person creates their own unique "good mother myth" and then examines why these myths are not only faulty, but could in fact lead to poor parenting, marital disaster and individual crisis.

Alyson Schafer offers up ideas for how the reader can reject her current "stinky thinking" and instead adopt a more useful outlook to improve her situation. The story arc allows readers to identify and then project how their parenting may be unknowingly going off the rails. The goal of this book is to provide parents with some basic education and a means of self-discovery. Readers uncover their own good mother myths and are given an eye-opening glimpse into potential issues to challenge their thinking. A great sense of empowerment is restored as mothers become better able to resist the pulls of their personal and cultural myths, and instead begin parenting with greater intention and in ways that are more suitable to proper child guidance.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Audiobook, Self Help, Education, Childrens

224 pages, Paperback

First published November 10, 2006

Reviews

[Alexandra’s · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an excellent book that I wish I had read much earlier! In fact, I would recommend giving it as a baby shower gift! This book helps dissolve all of the myths of modern motherhood that plague my generation. I was hooked by the first chapter on self-care. It also talks about not forgetting about your marriage, how to respectfully discipline, and not having to always play with your child. Lots of great topics!

[Marianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book that challenges the way we think about Motherhood and the Myths that we have come to believe makes one person a better mother than the other. Lots of simple advice with scenarios as proof and explanation. I have definitely adopted some methods of Democratic Discipline and I think that this book has really changed the way I parent the girls. This is also a book that I would consider purchasing.

[Kathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this. It came off as smug and overly-simplistic, instead.

[Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Полезни наблюдения над действията на децата и начините да заобиколим борбата за власт и изнудването. Много полезни и реалистични примери. Не засяга много теми 3-4 но са добре и подробно описани. Успокояващо е за търсещите всичко най-добро за децата си. Напомня ми на "Бабати все ... е ползвала/правила."

[Milena Tseneva · Rating 3 out of 5]

„Ако спрете и се замислите, ще се уверите, че идеите за „добрата майка“ са също толкова нелепи, колкото куклата Барби е еталон за красота.“

Винаги съм била скептично настроена към селф-хелп литературата. Не ме привличат книги, които ни учат как да бъдем по-добри, по-самоуверени, по-по-най. Не изпитвам нужда да ги чета, колкото и самоуверено да звучи това. Просто съм от типа хора „проба-грешка“, а не от онези, които се учат как стават нещата само на теория и после я се опитат да следват съветите на практика, я не. Още по-малко посягам към книги, които са свързани с майчинството.

Когато бях бременна, умишлено не си купих нито едно четиво на подобна тематика. Така смятах да бъде и занапред, докато не попаднах на Алисън Шейфър и „Край на мита за добрата майка: Как да загърбим стремежа към съвършенство, да си върнем здравия разум и да отгледаме чудесни деца“ (изд. „Colibri“). Заглавието привлече вниманието ми и започнах да чета с интерес. Може би все пак имаше какво ново да науча, колкото и упорито да отричах наум.

Далеч не се имам за перфектната майка, но осъзнах, че в стремежа си да съм идеална най-вероятно допускам доста грешки. Убедена съм, че всяка майка е попадала в този капан. Именно това се надявах да разбера от експерта в отглеждането на деца Шейфър – как да избегна тези грешки.

Още от ревюто- тук: http://azcheta.com/alisan-sheyfar-kra...

[Lee-Ann Sleegers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, probably because it was written by a mom and she admits she sometimes has to regroup. I've read a number of parenting books over the last four years and this is by far one of the better ones. It tackles real life situations, giving you alternatives to what current society expects. The solutions offered when reviewed carefully are good old common sense and initially leave you wondering "why didn't I think of that?" My biggest take away was that I don't need to be like every other mom on the block and really shouldn't try to be, but instead be realistic with expectations of both self and child.

[Bird · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was ok but nothing earth shattering. I've never felt competitive with other moms and or concerned that other parents didn't think I was as on top of everything as I should be, so maybe I'm not the target audience. It was a good reminder to adjust my expectations and appreciate the chaos, though.

[Sarah Lopez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is light-hearted read at how to avoid trying to be "the perfect mom". The author reminds the reader many times that there is no such thing! It's a quick one with lots of comical real life examples.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again, AWESOME... a fair amount of re-hashing from Honey I Wrecked the Kids (or vice-versa depending on which came first) but it's such good information and advice I don't mind hearing it over and over...

[Harmony · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really liked the book.... I think it is a must read! Made me think a little more about the way I do things and how it influences my daughter. It helped me to not feel so overwhelmed.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I got so many great tips from it, and I plan to implement a lot of what Schafer suggested. Now if only I could get my husband to read it too so we could be on the same page.

[Ricka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book for the mom who believes she needs to be perfect and if her kids are even a little out of line then she isn't!

[Amanda]

did finish it...but the parts I did read, were great advice. One day I will pick it back up and finish it. Very realistic view of raising kids.

[Suzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as good as Honey I Wrecked the Kids, but still awesome!

[Kelly Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Author is bang on with her advice about losing the part of motherhood that is less about the kids and more about our image of ourselves. Every mom should read this!

[Adam Wolf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this, but not as much as Ain't Misbehavin'. I am not a mom, and that might be part of it. Everything after chapter 4 was gold.

[Doroti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Изненадващо полезна информация и тук-таме съвети.

[Melody]

DNF at the vacation advice. I’ve unsuccessfully tried for over 6 months to force myself to finish it, but now I officially give up. I hate this book, it’s out-of-touch and entitled.

Some of her advice is helpful, while some is infuriating. She advises people to drop off the kids at their grandparents and go on a date every week. (Surely everyone lives near family and free babysitting, right? Right??)

Another gem is that if you can’t imagine enjoying a weeklong vacation alone with your spouse, you should book a two-week couples vacation. Who is she writing this book for? People who are independently wealthy and unemployed? I don’t know anyone with kids who can just pop off for a couples weekend, let alone a multi week vacation.

The vacation advice totally spoiled the illusion this book’s advice might be practical or useful in my life.

[Петя Младенова · Rating 4 out of 5]

Хубава книга с много практически съвети. Единственото, което ме притеснява в нея, е т.нар. хоризонтално възпитание, което може да бъде възприето от някои родители като крайна форма на либерализъм. Децата не са и няма как да бъдат равностойни на родителите си нито във вземането на решения, нито в излагането на мнение. Третирането им като възрастни може да бъде нож с две остриета. Все пак книгата на мен лично ми беше полезна и бих я препрочела някой ден.

[Ros · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of the applicable parenting advice was much better formulated in her earlier books (or in Siblings Without Rivalry), and a lot of the "take time for yourself/your relationship" advice was very slim on practical and applicable tips for actually achieving that.

[Byzi Ivanova ﺕ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Уникална книга, която би помогнала на всяка майка да се отърве от бремето на стереотипите и предрасъдъците.
Улеснете живота си и първо се погрижете за себе си, за да имате щастливи деца и съпруг!
Препоръчвам на бъдещите и настоящи майки!

[Mariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Проста и ясна книга. Интересни идеи.

[Maria Todorova-Takucheva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книгата много ми хареса и ми даде нов поглед върху доста въпроси за отглеждането на деца. Определено в даден момент ще се обърна отново към нея за опресняване.

[Kaelene · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated a couple of the early chapters, but overall, I didn't agree with the parenting style Schafer advocates.

[Mckenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alyson is so down to earth in her writing style. No mom-shaming in her book and the ideas are backed by research. Loved thos book as a parent and a mental health counselor.

[Karlynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Literally one of the best parenting/being-a-mother books I’ve ever read. Wish I had read it four years sooner.
It gives you practical advice while making you laugh and cry at the same time.
Not everyone will enjoy the sassy tone, but if you can get past that, then it has a lot to offer in the way of explaining real life behaviours/problems and their solutions.
I find a lot of other parenting books I’ve read give you a lot of theory and ‘advice’ without giving you anything practical and concrete. So this is a welcome addition to my bookshelf.

[Emanuella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книга, която приземява и те вади от балона на майчинството и стремежите да бъдеш перфектната майка. Написана с чувство за хумор и засягаща наболели теми, изкривени представи и очаквания на нашето време. С полезна информация и примери.

[elizabeth sawyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent parenting book for moms!

[Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great parenting advice for mothers AND fathers. Now to get Luke to read it!!