If anything, I wish I could “go beast mode” on this book because it’s undoubtedly one of the worst romance books I’ve ever waisted my time reading.
I didn’t know anything about the author going in but if the MC, Emma is at all similar to the author and her stint on the Bachelorette, then tbh it’s no wonder the romance didn’t last, because based on this book, romance and HEAs to this author mean toxic AF relationships where neither partner has a clue how to communicate, grow up, or respect other people’s feelings and lives.
Let’s start with Emma. She’s supposed to be a type A, list / itinerary loving perfectionist, who’s fiercely loyal. What this actually translates into is an incredibly rigid, controlling person who belittles the emotional intelligence, agency, and desires of her friends and instead decides she knows what’s best based on absolutely zero evidence. She signs her friend up for what is basically “the bachelor” (how creative, bleh) without telling her, decides she’s responsible for her best friend Sybil and keeping her from jumping off the proverbial ledge when Sybil seems to be a functioning and surviving adult on her own, and constantly seems to vacilate between being resentful of her “manic pixie dream girl” bestie Sybil and then irrationally, and frankly creepily, idolizing her.
There’s a clear lack of experience in the writing where the dialogue feels stilted, the landmarks / places noted can’t possibly be geographically accurate, and mental health is used as a convenient justification for deflection or drama instead of being treated seriously or reflected honestly. For example, the entire kayak fight is NOT how panic attacks actually work. Being stubborn and crazed because you don’t want to hear the truth about your behavior is not a panic attack, that’s just being stupid and immature.
Slight spoiler but I find it so off putting Emma decides to make herself some avenger for her friend’s heartbreak, going after her friend’s ex for cheating when Emma is in fact, ALSO a cheater. This is absolutely never addressed btw. It’s just implied that Emma’s boyfriend was boring so it’s ok. It’s not. It’s gross. And also stop assaulting people?? Unclear why the author thought this was a cutesy way of showing how Emma “goes beast mode” for those she loves because frankly, it’s incredibly off putting. Sure we all have fantasies of knocking an ex out but the fact that Emma shows this behavior multiple times and it’s treated like an endearing idiosyncratic quirk is concerning.
Next, the romantic lead, Finn is honestly such a snooze fest. There’s nothing swoony about him. It’s entirely unclear how he feels or what his motivations are and he felt like that same commitment phobic fuck boy he was in high school by the end. His only purpose is to tell Emma about her toxic behavior yet let her continue on acting that way anyway.
And if you’re curious, no, you in fact NEVER learn what the hell is up with Sybil the entire time. And that is maddening. It’s hard to believe these are even friends at all when Sybil has zero regard for her behavior and how it impacts everyone, when she lets Finn take the heat for an event she causes and when she knows Emma holds against Finn for YEARS. Sybil lets Emma believe the worst about Finn, while also being besties with Finn and knowing about his crush on Emma. Sybil knows Emma is controlling and why, but she lets Emma spiral on and hold a vendetta for years regardless.
Basically everyone in this book sucked and it’s clear it wasn’t on purpose. I’m all for reading about toxic relationships and characters, a la Sally Rooney, but this clearly wasn’t that.
Lastly, the ~spice~ was cringe at worst and confusing at best, I could not for the life of me understand the logistics and positions of their bodies while on the hammock, it was just weird. This felt like dramatized teenage angst pulled from the pages of a diary rather than an adult romance.