The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey

by Astrid Dahl

A propulsive page-turning thriller following the hit reality TV show Garden State Goddesses where secrets are uncovered, intense rivalries surface, and a startling murder propels a producer on a riveting quest for the truth.

On this season of Garden State Goddesses: Getting canceled means getting killed.

When Hope Bennett marries Carmela’s brother, Leo, she becomes not only a Fontana, but a Garden State Goddess—and not everyone is happy. Secrets will be revealed, decades-long rivalries will surface, and a sudden murder will lead to a reality reckoning no one is prepared for—least of all the show’s producer, Eden, who must race to catch a killer and save the most dramatic season of all time.

“Juicy, gossipy, and deliciously vicious, one thing is this New Jersey neighborhood has enough secrets to guarantee renewal. Readers will be clamoring for season two of this funny, dark guilty pleasure.” —KATY HAYS, New York Times bestselling author of The Cloisters

“Like the best, most addictive reality TV, The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey is about people behaving badly—lying, cheating, back-stabbing, and worse. I started reading for all the juicy drama, but it was the murder mystery that had me racing through pages at the end.” —ANA REYES, New York Times bestselling author of The House in the Pines

“Secrets, gallows humor, campy reality TV stars, and an Instagram gossip account called Shady Di—Astrid Dahl’s The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey is the kind of book I wanted to live inside. LOLing and gasping my way through, I nearly wished I’d written it myself!” —ANNA DORN, author of Perfume & Pain

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Fiction, Mystery Thriller, Contemporary, Audiobook, Adult

269 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 14, 2025

About the author

Astrid Dahl is an author, fangirl and law school dropout. She lives in Los Angeles, where she plans to die.

Reviews

[Sara Carrolli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is such a niche interest in a book (the real housewives meets murder mystery), but dare I say I liked the mix?

It gave the reality tv DRAMA that I was definitely invested in, was super fast paced, + had an outlandish ending. I did guess where the story was going & didn’t love the characters (which I think could be the point), but as a reality tv lover it worked for me! Not a memorable read, but if you love the housewives or reality tv shows like jersey shore, I think you may like this one!

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's probably no surprise when I say that reading this book is a lot like watching a reality TV show. Not one of the really exciting ones à la the original Temptation Island from the early 2000s, but something more like Sister Wives where you can leave it playing in the background while you do something else and not really feel that you're missing anything. It's entertaining and it's interesting enough, but ultimately there's not really a whole lot of depth to it.

Expect lots of shallow. The characters are shallow, the murder mystery is shallow, and the plot itself is pretty shallow. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's not worth reading, however. I mean, it is a book about rich housewives from New Jersey – no one is expecting a Crime and Punishment level storyline here. It's trashy and overly dramatic and ridiculous and a good portion of the characters are awful people, but it never really could have been anything else. I've never watched any of the Real Housewives franchise, but this book is exactly what I imagine watching one of those shows would be like … although as far as I know, none of the actresses from The Real Housewives of Orange County/New York City/Atlanta/New Jersey/etc. were ever murdered while filming.

The murder mystery honestly takes up a lot less of the plot than I imagined it would, though. I don't remember exactly when the murder actually takes place, but it's definitely in the second half of the book. And don't expect any Agatha Christie-level twists and turns – it's pretty obvious who did the deed from the very beginning, and Eden is definitely not Hercule Poirot.

But, yeah. If you like reality TV of the Jersey Shore variety, there's a decent chance you'll like this book. It's not fine literature by any means and it's certainly not deep, but it's kind of campy and entertaining. It's obviously set up for there to be a sequel, and while this wasn't my favorite read of all time or anything, I'll probably check out the next book just out of curiosity.

My overall rating: 3.45 stars, rounded down.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review. Its expected publication date is January 14, 2025.

[Heather Adores Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

3⭐
Genre ~ friendship/family drama
Setting ~ New Jersey
Publication date ~ January 14, 2025
Publisher ~ Simon & Schuster
Est Page Count ~ 287 (p+ 48 chapters +e)
Audio length ~ 8 hours 50 minutes
Narrators ~ Mia Barron, Sean Patrick, Emily Lawrence, Allyson Ryan, Devon Sorvari
POV ~ multiple 3rd
Featuring ~ debut, 4 parts, slow burn on the murder

There was a lot of craziness going on with a lot of crazy, shallow, awful, annoying characters. You know there might be a few too many when you are given a cast and crew list. I did appreciate it, though, so I could get a feel for who was who. Did I like any of the who's? Nope, not a one.

I have watched quite a few episodes of RHONJ. Haven't watched the latest season, though. Was I hoping for some crazy table flipping drama? Sure was! If ya know ya know 🤣
Happy to report ~ table flip ✔️ Seems Carmela is based on Teresa, since she's famous for doing that on the show. There was a woman on RHONY that has a prosthetic leg, so I'm guessing she was part of the inspiration for Valerie. The others are a mishmash of the other housewives.

So, overall, this was fine, but I do think it took a bit too long for the murder to happen. It will probably appeal to those that love shows like this because it reads just like the hot mess of one. There are even confessional transcripts to make it resonate more.

Narration notes:
I did not listen to this one, but am just giving the info above for reference. I am happy to see there are 5, so hopefully that worked out well.

Connect with me ➡ Blog ~ Facebook ~ X

[Constantine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Mystery Thriller

The story is about a reality show, “Garden State Goddesses” that needs a makeover. When the showrunner, Eden, decides on the way that will give the show its much-needed facelift, things will get more chaotic and out of control.

I don’t want to reveal more about the plot, relationships, and the mystery in the book because I feel that might give away the interesting part of it which are not many. This story is less mystery thriller and more drama. The mystery part is hidden in the background and never manages to come to the forefront. The story has lots of drama, and by drama here I don’t mean it in a good way.

There are too many characters to follow for a short book. This is less than 300 pages, and having all these female characters made it more confusing. Unfortunately, the characters are not well developed. Yes, some of them are distinguishable from others, but even those needed more work to stay in my mind.

I think the story as a concept is quite interesting. The execution needs more work, though. I can’t pinpoint who will be the right audience for this book. I thought I was among them, but it ended up being an OK book. I hoped for something better reading the synopsis.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with the ARC of this book.

[Dennis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been wanting to read Astrid Dahl's debut novel, THE REALLY DEAD WIVES OF NEW JERSEY, from the moment I heard the title. I love all the Real Housewives (besides Dubai) and am a total superfan housewives dork so I knew that I needed to read this one. This book is a satire of the Real Housewives franchise with multiple fan fiction twists and turns that any fan can recognize, but there's a unique story that presents itself to the reader as well.

The book details five women on a popular reality tv show called, Garden State Goddesses (literally, think of Real Housewives of New Jersey) and the introduction of a new castmember from California, Hope. Hope recently married Leo Fontana, who's sister Valerie and sister-in-law Carmela are on the show with bisexual jewelry designer Renee (who has a prosthetic foot Aviva Drescher style) and grand dame drunk Mrs. Robinson type Birdie (think Sonja Morgan mixed with Lisa Vanderpump). Hope is joining the show to help further her music career and escape her small town in Northern California. Her cousin Eden is a producer of the show and in fact introduced her to Leo! When one of the castmembers collapses during filming, Eden will be forced to find out what's going on and also come to terms with how her manipulation has caused devastating consequences.

THE REALLY DEAD WIVES OF NEW JERSEY dives into the social phenomenon of reality television and the Real Housewives and how fame can change people for better or worse. The story has a few queer characters which I was pleasantly surprised about and also has a lot of fun banter for any housewives fans! The book is over-the-top by means of satire so if you're looking for something more literary, stick with Chris Whitaker! I really had a blast with this book and it was one of the more fun books I've read lately. This book is the PERFECT popcorn thriller!

[megs_bookrack · Rating 3 out of 5]

**3.5-stars**

'Footage first, feelings never.'

Hope is the newest cast member on the popular reality television show, Garden State Goddesses.



After her cousin, Eden, the program's showrunner, introduced her to Leo Fontana, of the show's infamous Fontana family, the two fell in love and their wedding kicked off the first episode of this latest season.

Garden State Goddesses mainly focuses on the Fontana family, Sicilian-Americans located in Shady Grove, New Jersey.



Soft-spoken, doe-eyed singer/songwriter, Hope, who originally hails from Northern California, is a fish out of water amongst the rest of the cast. She's struggling to find her place; uncertain and self-conscious.

Hope's new sister-in-law, Carmela, is the Queen Bee of the family, and the show. She's less than elated by Hope's presence and doesn't pull any punches, making Hope uncomfortable at every turn.

Drama is top on the menu throughout this story, until eventually, someone ends up dead. Everyone has motives. Everyone is acting suspicious, but whodunit and is anyone else in danger?



I was sucked into this story fairly quickly. The set-up was interesting and I loved meeting all the characters. Dahl had me grabbing my popcorn early and often.

I love how she chose to include Confessional sections, which makes perfect sense with regards to the reality show production. I thought Eden did a good job of digging information out of these cast members.

I felt like Hope was a bit of wet noodle, so I agreed with Carmela on that one, but it was fun watching her try to fit in and get along. It's clear she had a bit of shady history and I liked watching as all that was revealed.



While some things I thought seemed obvious, I was never sure and loved guessing what was actually going on. It kept me engaged and flipping pages at a frantic pace.

Unfortunately, this is one of those cases where I was loving it for the first 80-85%, and then it lost my interest at the end. Admittedly, I was slightly-disappointed with the way it wrapped-up.

I did like some elements of the conclusion, including a last minute mini-reveal, but I also felt like certain aspects were drawn out unnecessarily.



For most of it though, oh my word, was I having fun. The 'propulsive page-turner' comment in the synopsis is spot-on. I never knew what was going to be revealed next.

I don't watch reality television, but I can see how it could be addictive. I feel Dahl absolutely succeeded in bringing those vibes to the page. I would recommend this to Readers who enjoy OTT-drama and intrigue.



Thank you to the publisher, Simon & Schuster, for providing me a copy to read and review. I appreciated how Dahl really leaned into the reality show concept. It was a lot of fun!

[casey · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

i was really excited for the pulpy reality tv thriller/mystery concept but this was surprisingly dull?? i dont mind figuring out a reveal/twist early if the ride to the reveal is entertaining but the story was so bland and predictable. none of the characters felt particularly interesting either. idk.. i think this needed more time to cook or something lol

[Ashley]

UPDATE: 12/30/24 Since I don't watch Real Housewives, the genius in this book went right over my head. For that reason, I'm pulling my number rating. I plan to reread w a physical copy and some guidance from RHW stans in hopes of really understanding what Astrid was doing here.

ORIGINAL REVIEW: In case you've never read any of my reviews, I am in love with Anna Dorn's writing. I will recommend any and all of her books to anyone and anything that is able to absorb her words into their brains, don't care how.

Astrid Dahl, however, is sadly just not my jam.
Going into this I was already weary since I'm not a fan of any of The Real Housewives series, nor do I like KUWTK. I'm down for reality TV, that wasn't the problem. Like in the tv shows, you get 873645 characters thrown at you at once and are expected to be able to keep track of them all. (*I do want to note here that toward the front of the book there's a list of each cast member along with a snippet of info as to their relationships/backgrounds. That would have been so so so so helpful if I had the a physical copy, however I had a kindle version and wasn't able to jump to that page very easily. Yes, I'm lazy. Yes, that's perhaps more of a "me" problem than the book's problem. You know what opinions are like, right? Everybody has one? They all stink?) Ideally this will be resolved for the final, official copy - I can't imagine it wouldn't have a direct link like each chapter of a book often does.

Even without so many names though, I likely would still only give this 3.5/5. The "deadly" part of The Real Deadly felt like it was hardly mentioned. I'll give you a simile, "Deadly" is to the title as the 5sec teaser of a reality tv show's next ep that's really way more about random, pointless drama than anything having to do w said teaser is to RHOBH's full episodes.

The more I think about it the more I feel like this just wasn't for me personally, but could definitely be right on the mark for another brand of unhinged girlie.

PS Since this is by Astrid I can still say I'm obsessed w ALL of Anna's books, right? Ugh

{Thank you bunches to NetGalley, Astrid Dahl, Anna Dorn and publisher Simon & Schuster for the eARC in exchange for my honest review!}

[Kate Rayne]

just finished the delicious perfume and pain and discovered this gem exists?!?! maybe god is real after all. I simply cannot wait

[Books Amongst Friends · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overall: 2/5 Narration: 3.5/5

Thanks to Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for this egalley. I had this book sitting on my TBR for a while, but I really wanted to have the audiobook because the concept sounded like such a fun ride. As someone who loves reality TV, especially the behind-the-scenes of how these shows operate, I was excited to see how the book would play with those ideas. One of my favorite TV shows is UnREAL, which gives a dark and messy look into the making of reality dating shows, so I was hoping this would offer a similar kind of insight and over-the-top drama. But I think my expectations were too high.

This book definitely has secrets, scandals, and mess, but it struggles to commit to a specific tone. It wants to be satire, comedy, mystery, and thriller all at once, but because it never prioritizes one of these elements, everything about it feels uneven. Some readers have compared the experience of reading it to watching reality TV, but for me, it felt more like having an episode of your least favorite show playing in the background—where it’s there, but you’re not really tuned in.

The book starts by introducing us to each of the characters and gives us their personas and "confessionals," but the confessionals feel flat. I wished the confessional sections were better used to provide more character depth. Instead they feel vapid and tell way too much. And honestly, one of the biggest flaws of the book is how much telling there is versus showing. The book tells on itself so early that by the time anything actually happens, it’s not shocking at all. It spends so much time setting up relationships, revealing secrets in a way that isn’t even revealing, and dragging through daily, uneventful scenes that it really takes too long to get to the first big turning point. So you can see why the pacing is another major issue. We don’t even get the big death—something that should be the catalyst for the mystery—until over 50% into the book. In a book like this, that’s way too late for me personally. Especially given that even with time put into explaining the relationships of the characters, we don’t feel connected to them. If this had been structured differently, with the inciting event happening early on and the rest of the book focusing on the fallout, it could have been much stronger.

At the core of the story, we’re following two cousins, Eden and Hope. The book tries to create a mystery around them—two cousins who left behind their pasts and are trying to start fresh. But even their character arcs feel off. Hope, who supposedly wants to keep a low profile because of something in her past, decides to go on reality television of all things. That makes no sense. If she were really trying to stay hidden, a show where she’d be constantly filmed and scrutinized would be the last place she’d go. It would have made more sense if Eden had been the one with the secret past since she works behind the scenes and wouldn’t get screen time. But instead, we have Hope on TV, despite being linked to a literal mafia plot via her new fiancé. The book seems to be a send-up of Real Housewives of New Jersey and Mob Wives, so I get the reference, but the execution never pushes its far enough. Like, commit to bit. Please!

For a book with this concept, I wanted mess. Chaos. Cattiness. And instead, we get a little petty commentary and some catty remarks, but it never really goes there. If you’re someone who follows Real Housewives drama religiously, you might appreciate some of the references, but for me, it just wasn’t messy enough. There’s no over-the-top drama, no iconic fights, no real chaos—it’s just there. This book could’ve been a satirical piece holding mirror to reality as a predatory system and those who fall into that industry. It could’ve been a campy bundle of fun, but it kept missing the mark. The characters felt surface-level—never in a way that feels like intentional satire, but in a way that just made them boring. Whether they were on or off camera, they never had depth.
This is where the book’s lack of commitment really hurts it. It tries to balance humor, mystery, and satire, but because it holds back instead of fully embracing the absurdity of its premise, it ends up feeling tame. It needed to be bigger, messier, and campier. I wanted to see huge fights, ridiculous betrayals, jaw-dropping twists—but instead, everything felt underwhelming.

**Spoilers Below** Stop reading here if you don’t want my spoiler rant lol.

A lot of things were painfully obvious early on. Pierre being the mastermind behind everything? Called it. Even when I briefly doubted it, I thought the maid might be involved because of all the hints about her muttering under her breath and hating her job. When Pierre wasn’t the first to die, it became even clearer that he had to be the culprit.

Hope’s death should have been a major moment, but the way Eden reacted felt completely out of character. She’s written as this cutthroat, “the show must go on” type of person, but suddenly, she cares? Even though she was the one who put Hope at risk by bringing her onto the show in the first place? It didn’t make sense. This applies even more so when you get to the end.

Leo, Hope’s fiancé, was another disappointment. His casual approach to saying, "Oh yeah, I know you’re having an affair with Renee, but whatever, I’m sleeping with someone else too," felt forced. And when it’s revealed that he and Carmela were hooking up, it wasn’t a surprise at all. The book spends so much time telling us that they have weird, tense interactions that it’s obvious what’s happening before we’re supposed to figure it out. The way everything was revealed felt anticlimactic because of how much it was foreshadowed without subtlety.

The poison plotline was also a huge letdown. For a book about a Housewives-style reality show, the deaths could have been so much more creative. They could have leaned into Final Destination-style, set-related accidents or something different, but instead, we get poison. Such a wasted opportunity. Not only that, but once Hope dies, the book tells you outright who’s going to be suspected, so the rest of the mystery unravels exactly how you’d expect. And then Leo kills Carmela, Carmela’s partner kills him, and just when things finally start getting entertaining, it all rushes to a dull, predictable conclusion.

And then there’s Hope’s big secret—her ex-girlfriend killed her parents. That should have been a jaw-dropping moment, but it’s written in such a casual way that it barely registers. When the ex gets arrested, it’s like, "Oh, okay. Let’s move on." Same with Pierre. Once he’s caught trying to flee the country, it’s a shrug moment instead of a climax. The whole book builds up these reveals only to deliver them in the least exciting way possible for the reader.

Even after all that, the book still drags on. A whole year passes, and suddenly Eden is dating Renee—the same woman Hope had an affair with and clearly had feelings for? Make it make sense. It was clear the author was attempting to drag out the story to leave room for a sequel— of which I hope there isn’t one.

Final Thoughts
This book had so much potential, but it played it too safe. The premise was perfect for a juicy, over-the-top mystery, but instead, we got a slow-moving, lukewarm story that never fully commits to any of its ideas. If you want a cozy mystery with a little bit of sass, I could see this book being for you. But if you’re looking for a Real Housewives-style scandal-filled thriller, this could disappoint you.

[Kelli Krystne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The real housewives of jersey.. but with dead bodies.
I absolutely adored this book! I am a fan of the real housewives so I was immediately drawn to this book. The characters are amazing, I loved them all. The author did a great job of keeping me engaged and just when you thought you had things figured out, there was more! I highly recommend this book.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published January 14, 2025.

If you are wondering what this is about, it’s not the book for you.

“Garden State Goddesses” is a hit reality show on a second rate network. When Hope Bennet marries Valerie’s brother and Carmela’s (really?) brother-in-law Leo she doesn’t just become a member of the Fontana family, she also becomes a Goddess.

That’s because her cousin, Eden, produces the show and she’s the one who introduced Hope and Leo. Hope joins Valerie Dulce, Carmela Fontana, Renee Ricci and Birdie St. Clare on Huzzah network’s fifth most popular show. And this season, with the addition of Hope secrets and old rivalries will be revealed. These will lead up to a big finish….huge.

The book has a large cast, and the reader will likely guess a fair amount about what is going on. It’s relatively cute, even though there’s not much mystery to the mystery; it’s more a send up of the shows and how they are made. Fans of the Housewife ves will likely find it fun.

[Andi Paluch · Rating 1 out of 5]

As an avid housewife fan I was so excited for this one. But wow, it was awful. Do not recommend.

[Lisa Leone-campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

For those Housewife of (name a city) fans, this book should be a must read! It is hilarious, dramatic, filled with hate, deceit, egos and murder. It is so very good! The housewives in the story are composites of some of the real housewives. The most fun I had was trying to piece together which real character each character was based on! The book will catapult the reader into the dizziness of the multiple story lines of these well-developed pretty narcissistic characters with an ending made for television!

Hope Bennett is the newest cast member of the Garden State Goddess cast set in New Jersey. She is also the cousin of the producer of the series. She has recently married another cast member's brother, Leo. Carmela, the sister of Leo who is an original cast member and known for causing trouble is not pleased with the casting and will make sure Hope knows it every chance she can get.

The saga starts immediately when one of the housewives is found dead. The reader has no idea which, but that sets the story to go back in time which leads up to who the late cast member is.

Thus begins the story of each housewife, their backstory, their secrets, their drinking and drug problems and much, much more! At the end of each chapter, you will get a taste of each member's "confessional" and what it takes to get something out of each of them.

The story itself is a wild ride you won't want to get off and the ending will make you feel as if you were in an actual season of Real Housewives where there is hairpulling and lying, shock and horror and make-up and hair and drunk women galore! It was a very fun read!

Thank you #NetGalley #Simon&Schuester #AstridDahl #TheReallyDeadWivesofNewJersey for the advanced copy.

[Elle · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up to 4

As a dyed in the wool Anna Dorn fan, I found myself analyzing the writing style of this book meta cognitively. Am I reading this as if it were written by Astrid Dahl of Perfume and Pain? Or am I reading it as a rebranded version of Anna as she launches into a new genre? And the only reason I had this thought process was because the pacing was odd and felt off brand for Anna, but Astrid is the one at work here.

The first half was so heavy on setting up and explaining the family drama to me instead of getting sloppy with it right away. It was too much telling without enough showing. The murder aspect, which is what really excited me, was disappointingly predictable. I wanted MORE MESS! A bigger reveal. A neck breaking twist! A less satisfying ending!!!

I don’t watch reality tv shows but I loved the narrative of Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen and figured the unfamiliarity wouldn’t throw me off. Unfortunately I was wrong and a little lost in the shallow end. I didn’t understand the formatting of the confessionals and any references to existing Bravo (Huzzah!) shows were lost on me. Only halfway through the book did a friend clue me in to an actual reality star with a prosthetic foot! I flipped back to the cast of characters often and almost wish the Fontana part of the cast came with a family tree.

Some things I did like: actual NorCal representation!!!!! People forget that it’s a massive state and most of it is rural. Yreka and Weed, the shit holes that they are, are finally getting a moment in the spotlight!! Brother God has to be a reference to Mother God right??

It would have been really fun for Hope to be more self assured and still odd and culty. Her identity crisis makes her as interesting as a sheet of printer paper.

The murder mystery plot is alluded to at the start, but it actually hits just after halfway and that’s what finally got me sucked in to finish the novel. The character’s actions got more erratic at that point and I was invested in finding out where things would end. I zipped through the second half of this novel while taking one of those two hour hotel room baths where you have to keep topping up the hot water.

Overall I think this one really needs to be marketed to the reality tv fanbase more than the murder mystery readers. It’s a brave step into a new genre, but if anything, the women could be behaving more badly!!!

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anna Dorn is a fucking genius. Lemme give you some necessary background for those jumping into this book unfamiliar with the meta world she’s building here.
“Astrid Dahl” is the protagonist of Dorn’s previous novel Perfume & Pain, a lesbian novelist struggling to come up with ideas for her new book (Dahl is even a stand-in for Dorn in P&P with references to her previous books) and gets inspired to pivot to a trashy book about housewives. So this is THAT book, with Dorn writing under Dahl as a pseudonym, and Dorn assumes the character of Dahl even in interviews about this novel.

This is a bit of a departure from Dorn’s previous more literary work, and I kinda think it served as an excuse for her to just write something fun and trashy, although there are definitely still hints of Dorn’s style in there. It’s definitely a love letter to Real Housewives fans - I personally prefer her other stuff but Dead Wives is for sure a fun romp and very bingeable

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5/5

I am a day one Housewives fan, I never miss an episode and am obsessed with just about every franchise, so the minute I heard about this one I knew I had to read it! I expected it to be dramatic, over the top, glamorous and juicy and it was but it was also silly, shallow and not thrilling at all. Sadly, it’s a very middle of the road read for me and it didn’t quite live up to my expectations. I did enjoy how this felt almost exactly like watching an episode of RHONJ down to the confessionals. I also loved all the nods to the franchise, lots of Easter Eggs that were fun! I didn’t expect to be bored and unfortunately I was and I also didn’t expect the mystery aspect to be so lackluster but it was. The characters had no depth either which sounds like it could’ve worked here but it fell flat. Overall a miss for me and I’m truly bummed about it.

[Amy Lee Corr · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not 4 star quality in any sense, it was so damn silly, but I’ve forever said real housewives will end up with a murder to keep upping the ante so it was fun to read my prediction

It’s real housewives fanfic x Unreal (that scripted tv show of behind the scenes manufacturing of reality tv) with v obvious references to Theresa from RHONJ and Aviva from RHONY with a character having ONE LEG (sadly without as iconic a line as “the only thing artificial or fake about me is this leg”)

Not a single plot point surprised me but that’s also true for real housewives franchises.

[Catbytheseareads ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining slow burn, murder mystery set against the backdrop of a housewives-esque reality show. The main focus is on the Sicilian American Fontana family of Shady Pond, New Jersey.

When Hope Bennet marries Carmela’s brother Leo Fontana she not only becomes a wife but also a Garden State Goddess that his family is not so happy about. Eden Hope’s cousin is the one who introduced her to Leo and she’s the showrunner for the reality show.

There’s loads of crazy drama, shallowness, secret affairs and the closeted gay and bi characters.
Highly recommend this to RH show fans!
my cheat sheet:
Renee 43, single mom, Jewelry designer/Esty Shop
Ruby 13, Renee's daughter, wanna be singer superstar
Carmela 47, the sexy bitch! Nail salon owner, Married
Valerie 46, married, Leo’s sister, prosthetic foot, 3 sons
Birdie Clumsy/funny drunk, rich widow, age ?
Pierre 29 Birdie’s son, shallow, haughty gay, equestrian
Hope 33 singer-songwriter married to Leo, outsider
Leo 44 Pretty boy, Valerie's bro Carmela's bil
Eden 37 Hope’s cousin, showrunner
Bianca 18 Carmela's shy daughter

[nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Major thanks to Simon & Schuster for sending this over to me.

*3.5 rounded up

“..𝘚𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮, 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘪𝘵.”

If Anna Dorn wrote a murder mystery by way of 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘸𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴.

Perfect for a long flight.

Easy funny fun.

[Kristy Riley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perfume & Pain by Anna Dorn was one of my favorite books this year about an author named Astrid Dahl. So when I found out Anna was writing a book AS Astrid, I was foaming at the mouth for a copy.

You’ll love The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey if you love any of the housewives shows, rich people acting insane and messy, soap opera-y drama.

This was a fun, quick read and I definitely had a good time reading it. I’ve never seen any of the house wife shows so I probably missed tons of inside jokes. The characters were insufferable in a fun way.

I think it’s my own fault for going in expecting Anna Dorn because it didn’t feel like her writing. I did like it though and if you love the house wives shows or just messy trash reality tv, you’ll love it.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!

[ari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had some of my favorite things: reality TV, drama, insane characters, and lots and lots of mess. I love the Real Housewives franchise, and Anna Dorn's writing, so this was the perfect combo for me. I loved the crazy personalities, the subtle Bravo references, and the general plot. This was truly an ode to reality tv - I could tell what traits were taken from real reality personalities. It was a super fun read that kept me entertained and laughing in the way only AD can do.

Thank you Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the ARC.

[Tara Leimkuehler]

Delightfully camp.

[Wonko · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can only assume this was an early book that she couldn’t get published at the time. Powerfully stupid, but not in a fun way.

[Braden Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listen, if you're like me, and you're an avid fan of any of the THE REAL HOUSEWIVES franchises, you'll appreciate Astrid Dahl's THE REALLY DEAD WIVES OF NEW JERSEY. It's basically an ode to all of the ladies, and under three hundred pages, it's an easy read. If you like reality tv, camp, bickering housewives, murder mysteries, sapphic romances and a bunch of Italian women screaming - buckle on up bambinas! I can't say I was entirely surprised by the ending, but I read it so quickly that I didn't mind the time I spent reading it. To be honest, this is a very mid-tier book for me, but will it make you want to binge all of the Real Housewives episodes? Absolutely.

Special thanks to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[VelvetReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Housewives are my guilty pleasure, so when I saw this book being advertised, I knew I had to read it. Admittedly though, I struggled with the first half of the book. There are a lot of characters introduced, but not much actually happened at first besides petty clashes. Once we got to the halfway mark, things started to pick up and I found myself becoming more invested in the actual story. Things got really messy and I was living for every chaotic twist that was thrown in. Overall, I enjoyed the read and would continue to read more books focusing on these characters (those that are still alive anyway lol).

Many thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the opportunity to read this as an ARC. The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey comes out on January 14th!

[jenna williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

i loved every last word on every last page and have fingers crossed that this becomes a lengthy series. it had all my favorite things: trash reality tv, cults, mystery, romance. and the real housewives quotes at the beginning of each part was chef’s kiss. astrid please write more asap!!!!!

[Kenzy El-Mohandes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfection!!

[Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Had a blast reading this once I stopped expecting Anna Dorn or what I thought Astrid Dahl’s writing would sound like. Every character is an amalgamation of various Bravo stars so if you’re an avid Bravo watcher it felt like a book full of fun little Easter eggs for fans. For lovers of not just reality TV but interesting characters, and soapy (but not stupid) storylines. So much fun.

[Allison Speakmon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t watch a ton of reality television. I just didn’t grow up watching it and so it’s just not something I think to watch as an adult. The only shows I tend to watch are the Bachelor (when we have girl’s night), Design and Home shows, Big Brother (because my husband’s family are die hard fans), and now The Secret Lives of Morman Wives. I’ve watched a few others, and honestly I’m not sure why I don’t watch more, I love me some messy drammaaaa!

Coming off my binge of The Secret Lives of Morman Wives, I was so ready to jump into The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey. Catty drama AND a murder mystery, YES PLEASE! & just like you would expect from a Housewives season, this sure was messy and not necessarily in the best way.

Things I loved, catty housewives, a peep behind the scenes of reality TV, and Birdie. Things I didn’t: swallow character development, extremely unlikable characters, the plot is hanging on by a thread, and overall trying to ‘do’ to many things. Plus, for having ‘Dead’ in the title, the murder(s) are flimsy.  

Reading this book was the equivalent of turning on trash tv in the background while your focus is on something else entirely. Even at only 288 pages, it was entirely too long. It could have used some additional editing as it skipped a few natural points to end the story but instead kept going and even set it up to potentially have a sequel. If you like reality TV or soap operas, you might give this one a go. It’s not my favorite book and I don’t think I’d read a sequel.

The Really Dead Wives of New Jersey is out now! Huge thank you to Simon & Schuster for my advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion.  If you liked this review, please let me know either by commenting below or by visiting my
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