This is a book that I enjoy talking about more than I enjoyed reading.
The characters and voice are a hoot: everyone speaks like he is the star of his own film noir but no one's really in the same movie as anyone else. The major triumph, though, is the narrative style.
Our narrator, rather than spelling out how he feels instead describes the way he acts. Literally acts. He is an actor and most of his actions have been coached by his theater director friend. Even his emotions are discounted as acting decisions implanted within him by his director friend. There's a remove without doing away with reliability, a sadness without self-pity.
It's very strange and though I've made this sound like the interior monologue of a sociopath, in the novel it comes off instead as a raw-nerved dispatch from a deeply wounded man. There's compromise and blame-shifting in his every move or word, something that's present in most lives but not acknowledged with the frankness displayed here.
Perhaps because of all this, the book weighs too heavily for it ever to reach the frothy heights it might otherwise. But it's not a farce and it's not a thriller or a madcap crime comedy. It's something closer to Dirty Rotten Scoundrels played as a drama.
As a side note, this publisher New Vessel Press is doing some really neat things. Their edition of Cocaine is awesome and I've gotten a few others on faith based on these two books.
Anyhow, some highlights:
man is but the shadow of a dream, but I couldn’t think of the book’s title or the name of the author. I don’t know who had dropped that line on me or at what point in his life the author had written it. Was it while he was gazing at the dying flame of a candle, or watching a dog with a bone in its jaws, its eyes shining with fearful ecstasy
It must have been a glorious moment and I can only thank God I wasn’t present, since most likely I would have added a few words and spoiled the whole show. That’s the way I am. And then what would have happened to the light? But I don’t like light. I like the darkness, which frees us from our faces and the shadows we cast.
We were walking side by side. Darkness was all around us, but not the kind that envelops a city like a dream. It didn’t make us forget our hot and tired bodies. This darkness was rough and hard, like the dust; and like the dust it clung to our skin.
“I won’t pay any attention to either of you,” I said. “You won’t interest me at all. I’ll just sit there looking out at the garden, and your loud, repugnant voices will seem to me both meaningless and unreal.”
Robert disliked taking showers and almost always refused, claiming that only dirty people need to wash very often. Chacun à son goût.
Yeah, a sweet little cripple. Or maybe a paraplegic. Jesus Christ, think how much money we could save that way!” “Oh, come on,” I said. “Dreams like that never come true. Besides, who ever brings a hunchback to the beach?” “Don’t you worry. To you it may have a hump the size of a camel’s but to its own mother the kid is as straight as the prick of a Russian soldier. What do you know about women? If they love someone, they’re blind as bats.”
The night seemed solid and dusty, like some forgotten theater set.
“One day people stop visiting you and so you start visiting them. That’s the onset of old age.”
I thought of a man I shared a hotel room with once; he was constructing a bomb he planned to throw at the minister of finance. Since he had no experience at bomb-making, everybody was afraid to stay with him. Then I started thinking of someone else, the brother-in-law of our hotel desk clerk. When his family committed him to a mental hospital, he set the building on fire. All the nuts ran off to some nearby orange grove, dancing and singing, and the cops had to search two days for them and move them to other hospitals all over the country.
He returned right away in the best of spirits, beaming like shit in heaven.
He continued to stare at me with a confused and helpless look. “Don’t you like my face?” I asked. “Well, neither do I. Just imagine how nice it would be if I looked exactly like you. Neither of us would need a mirror to shave.”
all the familiar smells: fish, grilled meat, and hot copper. While the bouncer was packing clothing into a suitcase, studying each piece separately and folding it carefully like a loving wife, I said
you can screen yourself from sadness and anger with the image of a face like that. I could use her face the way a child brings up his hand to shut out the view of something he’s afraid of.
someone who’s found the ladder to heaven in a woman’s gentle touch. That man was myself!
Poor Robert; he always looked like an insect emerging into light for the first time from under an overturned stone.
like a couple of kids. “Quite a sight, huh?” “Somebody should shave that bastard’s balls and send him back to kindergarten.”
Looking at her face, I thought three or four years from now no head would turn when she walked down the street or went into a movie theater. It’s odd how women’s looks suddenly disappear and the women themselves, too, vanish without a trace at the age when men become truly handsome and mature. Women’s faces grow cold and gray, and they begin to speak in sharp high voices that have no love, no despair, only a kind of miserable wisdom that prevents them from doing reckless things.
How many things are there, I wondered, that a man can discover about himself without anyone’s help? Not many; all that shouting Robert talks about drowns out the way we really are and all the gifts we possess, even though we don’t possess so many. So it’s a good thing we have at least the sea to look at and listen to.
Sartre made the astounding discovery that men’s underwear sometimes happens not to be very clean, and for that reason alone Sartre will be immortal.
string to an old man’s chair, and when the old poop was about to sit down, he pulled it out from under him. “The kid’s got a healthy sense of humor,” Robert said, watching the old man try to get up.
“Good god, how do you know all that?” “I don’t,” I said. “But if you close your eyes, you can improve on anybody’s life. Though if you don’t like this ending, I can make up a different one: he let a monkey jump on his back and can still be seen from time to time in the company of leprous beggars. A true Hollywood ending.”
“No. I hate surprises. I fear them more than anything. The only thing that brings joy is something you want and have been waiting for.”
“I’ll tell you something about my childhood. I once had a friend who experimented on frogs. The frogs really hated that. That was in Poland.” I fell silent. “Is that your only memory from Poland?” she asked after a terribly long pause, when she must have lost all hope of my continuing the conversation. “Actually the only thing I really remember from Poland is Khrushchev’s face,” I said. “You’re a very strange lover.” “I know. Once for three nights in a row I explained the construction of a steam engine to some girl. It didn’t get me very far. But apparently I was very cheeky as a kid. You’ll have to excuse me for a moment. This room doesn’t have a toilet.”
“You should buy him a toy,” the old man said. “Maybe a spear gun, something like that.” “You don’t know him,” I said. “The only toy he’d enjoy playing with is a flamethrower. Come, Johnny. Come along, dear. There’s something we have to talk about.
“I don’t have any kids. I’ve spent more money on abortions than there is in the Vatican budget. Even though I’m careful. As you’ve probably noticed.” I went over and sat on the bed.
This is probably how she had spoken to Johnny when he was very small and had trouble falling asleep. I think God created her so that she would give men love, peace, and rest. So that she could make them tired and then make them sleep. I’m sure He forgave her everything.
“I’m just a cheap gigolo,” I said. “It’s not my fault if you don’t want to believe me.” “You’re a big boy who probably started shaving too soon,” she said. “In America you’ll buy yourself a sports car and wreck it. I’ll help you do it. Now go to sleep. Sleep in peace. It’s all because of this wind.”
in lace she would have been the perfect model for somebody forging Renaissance portraits.
When the bishop of Warsaw diocese died, the kids from Catholic schools had to go and pray for him. There he was, laid out in state, one gloved hand hanging limply from the open coffin, and we had to kneel down and kiss that cold, rigid hand. When my turn came, I said I won’t do it, and the nuns dragged me over by force. So I bit into that dead hand with such a fury that it took several nuns to pry me off. They almost overturned the coffin.” “How old were you?” “I don’t remember. Maybe nine.” “It’s a good story,” Robert said. “Tell it to that broad. Americans love analyzing experiences like that. Let her exercise her brains. A small thing, but what joy it can bring to a woman! Just like a prick.”
He was beaming; he looked like a potato gifted with intelligence.