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The Color Series
The Blue Book
In his most escharotic cacology since the award-winning "tablecloth novel" for children, BLARGVAAR, THE UNHAPPY SPERM WHALE, author Crad Kilodney, theologian, psychopath, and registered mortician, delivers up his most poignant gasbags.
Suburbanites want to know, "Is my brain a thing, or what? Can I change it? What if it breaks? Can I return it for a different color?"
These and other are liturgical pontifications are addressed in SUBURBAN CHICKEN STRANGLING STORIES. But as Aristotle once said, "I owe you nothing. Go away. I eat your face." And just as the luna moth of idiocy orbits the streetlamp of nihilism, so do the violent surgeons of Art and the New Age centipede men meet on the great battlefield of corn, testing whether this nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.
Now you will find all four types of sentences and all eight parts of speech. Here you will find your lost car keys. Here you will find sanity. We need your money to buy cigars for orphans. We have not changed our underwear in seven weeks. The stink of decay is everywhere, not just in your mind.
Chickens know the world will end. This is why they cut off their own heads and jump into the deep-fryer. It will be a dark and stormy night filled with clichés. The air will be full of bats. Bad haircuts will rule.
So feel free, free to try something new, free to live life for you. Stick your head in the television and electrocute yourself.
Suburbanites want to know, "Is my brain a thing, or what? Can I change it? What if it breaks? Can I return it for a different color?"
These and other are liturgical pontifications are addressed in SUBURBAN CHICKEN STRANGLING STORIES. But as Aristotle once said, "I owe you nothing. Go away. I eat your face." And just as the luna moth of idiocy orbits the streetlamp of nihilism, so do the violent surgeons of Art and the New Age centipede men meet on the great battlefield of corn, testing whether this nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.
Now you will find all four types of sentences and all eight parts of speech. Here you will find your lost car keys. Here you will find sanity. We need your money to buy cigars for orphans. We have not changed our underwear in seven weeks. The stink of decay is everywhere, not just in your mind.
Chickens know the world will end. This is why they cut off their own heads and jump into the deep-fryer. It will be a dark and stormy night filled with clichés. The air will be full of bats. Bad haircuts will rule.
So feel free, free to try something new, free to live life for you. Stick your head in the television and electrocute yourself.
60 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1985
8 people want to read
About the author
Crad Kilodney
36 books11 followersCrad Kilodney (1948-2014) was the pen name of Lou Trifon, an American-born Canadian writer who lived for many years in Toronto.
Kilodney obtained a degree in astronomy, but instead of working in that field he took a job at Exposition Press, a self-publishing company. Many of his experiences in that job, and with vanity publishing in general, shaped his outlook on fiction and provided him with material for many stories.
After moving to Canada in 1973 he worked at a number of other book publishers and while doing so decided that it might be best to reach people by publishing his books under his own Charnel House imprint and selling them face-to-face on the street. This he did from 1978 through 1995, and published over thirty books in this manner.
In 1991 Kilodney was charged with selling commercial goods without a license, making him the only Canadian writer ever charged for selling his own writing.
He retired from writing books in 1995.
Kilodney obtained a degree in astronomy, but instead of working in that field he took a job at Exposition Press, a self-publishing company. Many of his experiences in that job, and with vanity publishing in general, shaped his outlook on fiction and provided him with material for many stories.
After moving to Canada in 1973 he worked at a number of other book publishers and while doing so decided that it might be best to reach people by publishing his books under his own Charnel House imprint and selling them face-to-face on the street. This he did from 1978 through 1995, and published over thirty books in this manner.
In 1991 Kilodney was charged with selling commercial goods without a license, making him the only Canadian writer ever charged for selling his own writing.
He retired from writing books in 1995.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
March 5, 2022
This is really childish and sometimes moronic, but it caught me in the right mood. It helps not to be entirely sober and it helps even more if a cute naked guy is reading this book to you. I give the reader five stars and the book four stars.
If you are in a serious mood, this isn't for you.
If you are in a serious mood, this isn't for you.
August 17, 2024
Two good stories ("Mr Schlepp and His Ace Mechanic" and "Wooden Sticks With Points") and a bad one ("Dream Street"). One of his better works.
3.75 stars
3.75 stars
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews