Having dated a guy who did his best to give me an eating disorder and then spent over a year trying diligently to lose weight with no success at all, I was ready for this book when it crossed my path. And it’s by a favorite author besides!
On top of that, I had just listened to something by Tony Robbins where he pointed out that the surest way to turn your desire for something up to 11 is to make it scarce. He gave an example of a certain kind of cookies. His family was eating a box or two a day, so there were never any left by the time he got home. So he had his chef or housekeeper or whoever buy 25 boxes, because he wanted some cookies, dammit!
He said after that, cookie consumption fell off dramatically. They still had like 20 boxes left for months, until they finally went bad and had to be thrown away.
This book uses that principle. The premise is that humans know how to eat, and our intuition will guide us to what our bodies need IF we listen to it. But most of us have soaked up so many rules and so much bullshit from various diets and so-called experts, we’ve lost touch with our intuition. Meanwhile, we’ve made everything we like so scarce with all our rules, we’ve programmed ourselves to be unable to control ourselves around it, so the second our iron-fisted control slips a little, we overeat like maniacs to get some while we can.
The idea that we can eat whatever we want, as much as we want, and still lose weight sounds ridiculous. But, the author argues, what’s even more ridiculous is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.
We all know diets don’t work. They never work. They’ve never worked for me, and it appears they’ve never worked for anyone ever. People may lose a few pounds in the short term, but they always put it back on, and usually more on top of it.
And honestly, even if eating whatever I want doesn’t work either, fuck it. I’m tired of never eating what I want and still being fat. It seems unjust. If I’m going to try so hard, I shouldn’t be fat, and if I’m going to be fat, I should at least get to eat what I want.
So I decided to try following this book.
The beginning of the book focuses on eating, specifically, breaking the scarcity association in your mind. The rule is you MUST eat exactly what you want and make it as delicious as possible. And you MUST eat as much as you want. Otherwise, it’s just another diet in disguise.
The catch is, you have to actually pay attention to the food as you eat it, and you have to stop when it stops being enjoyable.
No eating in front of the tv, while reading a book, or while listening to an e-course. Just eat and that’s it. And don’t make yourself a whole plate in the kitchen. Instead, put everything in serving dishes, bring it to the table, and just serve yourself a few bites at a time. You can have seconds as many times as you want. Infinite seconds! You just have to stop eating when you don’t want it anymore instead of going way beyond that and still eating in a daze.
As I expected, for the first few days, I ate a lot of foods that used to be forbidden, including tons of sweets. But sooner than I would have predicted, the appeal of that started wearing off. “As many cookies as I want” turns out to be a lot fewer cookies than I ever imagined! Within the first week, I had already switched to desiring vegetables. Yay! I’m still eating a lot more sugary stuff than I would ever let myself have normally, and I’m noticing how yucky it makes my body feel. Hopefully those things will lose the rest of their power over me this week.
Meanwhile, the latter half of the book brings spirituality back into the conversation and shows how to feel and release the feelings I was trying to use food to escape in the first place! Yes, let’s treat the disease, not just the symptoms!
It will be so cool to keep watching this unfold. If I really return to my proper weight this way, that will be such a hoot! The author is right, I used to maintain a healthy weight that I felt good about, and I never cut out bread or pasta or sugar. I just ate what I wanted. It’s only when I started using food to try to counteract feelings that everything went to shit. And then I started dieting, and that made it worse.
But honestly, regardless of what happens with my weight, life is so much more fun this way! I had so much fun last time I went grocery shopping. I seriously got whatever I wanted. It was a blast! I feel so lighthearted, like a kid again, except even better because nobody is telling me what to do!
I never would have guessed this would be part of my self-love project, but clearly it is.
This experiment started May 24. The author recommends trying it for 60 days, so I’ll report back on July 24.