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Bouncing Back: How Women Lose & Find Themselves in Marriage & Divorce
GOLD PRIZE WINNER in Self-Help/Motivational, 2024 Global Book Awards
FINALIST in Adult Non-Fiction, 2024 Wishing Shelf Book Awards
“If you’re looking for a soulmate to help you through the divorce journey, Bouncing Back is the book for you.” — Abigail Trafford, author of Crazy Time
Who better to guide women through the heartbreak of an unhappy marriage than a seasoned psychotherapist who has lived it herself?
Decades after her own divorce, Ellen Holtzman reflects on her journey as she helps two of her patients confront the struggles of their faltering relationships. Together, the three women grapple with fear, uncertainty, and a sense of loss. But Holtzman discovers that a marital crisis can lead to self-discovery and new opportunities.
Compassionate, insightful, and deeply relatable, Bouncing Back offers hope and inspiration to anyone facing the end of a relationship. The compelling narrative will resonate with readers searching for strength and clarity as they imagine a new future.
“The book is beautifully written and infused with the author’s wisdom and compassion.” — Joy Wolfe Ensor, PhD, former president of the Michigan Psychological Association
“The style reveals deep insights alongside emotional moments that will resound with readers.”
— 2024 BookLife Prize Critic’s Report
FINALIST in Adult Non-Fiction, 2024 Wishing Shelf Book Awards
“If you’re looking for a soulmate to help you through the divorce journey, Bouncing Back is the book for you.” — Abigail Trafford, author of Crazy Time
Who better to guide women through the heartbreak of an unhappy marriage than a seasoned psychotherapist who has lived it herself?
Decades after her own divorce, Ellen Holtzman reflects on her journey as she helps two of her patients confront the struggles of their faltering relationships. Together, the three women grapple with fear, uncertainty, and a sense of loss. But Holtzman discovers that a marital crisis can lead to self-discovery and new opportunities.
Compassionate, insightful, and deeply relatable, Bouncing Back offers hope and inspiration to anyone facing the end of a relationship. The compelling narrative will resonate with readers searching for strength and clarity as they imagine a new future.
“The book is beautifully written and infused with the author’s wisdom and compassion.” — Joy Wolfe Ensor, PhD, former president of the Michigan Psychological Association
“The style reveals deep insights alongside emotional moments that will resound with readers.”
— 2024 BookLife Prize Critic’s Report
254 pages, Paperback
Published July 9, 2024
4 people are currently reading
10 people want to read
About the author
Ellen Holtzman
2 books3 followersEllen Holtzman, PsyD is a psychotherapist who has been practicing for more than three decades. Currently, she sees individuals and couples in her Boston area office. She specializes in the treatment of women navigating divorce and has helped hundreds of them bounce back from the end of their marriages.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
November 23, 2024
Bouncing Back is an insightful book that offers a deep understanding of the emotional and practical challenges women face during a divorce. While I am not personally divorced, the book resonated with me on many levels, providing wisdom and strength that applies to all women, whether single or married. The author's perspective as a psychologist provide valuable advice and empower women to navigate life's difficult transitions with resilience and confidence. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking personal growth, self-discovery, or simply a better understanding of the complexities of relationships.
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December 1, 2024Ellen Holtzman’s Bouncing Back is engaging, informative, and beautifully written. A memoir of education, it interweaves her own multi-layered education—as a young woman devastated by the failure of an early marriage who learns to tell a new story of herself as a strong, capable person able to face uncertainty and move toward happiness, and as a successful psychotherapist, instructed in part by her own experiences as a patient and by her patients’ stories.
Equally importantly, the book traces the individual transformative education of two patients, “Lisa” and “Meghan,” who allowed Holtzman to tell their stories—stories that somewhat parallel hers, as each moves from disappointment and uncertainty in her marriage toward fuller and empowering understanding of her history, values, and capabilities. Holtzman carefully draws our attention to the collaborative nature of the therapeutic process, such that we recognize how the therapist’s role as guide is qualified by the practice of questioning: her questions are productive to the extent that her patients are able to respond in ways that enable their own understanding of their situations and desires. In turn, the therapist is instructed by listening to her patients, as she acknowledges, for example, when she tells us that “thirty years of listening to my patients . . . had made me see my ex-husband differently. . . . I was beginning to forgive” him. Finally, as we observe the work of this compassionate and skilled interlocutor, and the shared effort essential to such a process, we readers are also educated, whatever our own prior experiences with therapy (or not) may be.
The success of Bouncing Back derives both from its compelling subject matter and from the quality of Holtzman’s writing. She makes each of the principal figures a persuasively realized character—a real, recognizable person with whom we are moved to empathize, and for whom we, along with the author herself, can feel something like suspense.
These effects are enhanced by the use of descriptive detail, subtle shifts in tone, including occasional low-key humor, and graceful, unobtrusive integration of historical contexts and relevant research. Above all, Holtzman’s language is always clear and precise, with vivid and inventive figurative language offering readers both the pleasure of creativity and additional angles of insight into a person’s experience. Thus, for example, “It was like she stood on a fault line in the ground watching tall buildings sway back and forth”; and “I imagined the soft, snapping sound the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle made when they fit together.” Together, the parts of Bouncing Back seamlessly create a unified reading experience that both teaches and delights.
Equally importantly, the book traces the individual transformative education of two patients, “Lisa” and “Meghan,” who allowed Holtzman to tell their stories—stories that somewhat parallel hers, as each moves from disappointment and uncertainty in her marriage toward fuller and empowering understanding of her history, values, and capabilities. Holtzman carefully draws our attention to the collaborative nature of the therapeutic process, such that we recognize how the therapist’s role as guide is qualified by the practice of questioning: her questions are productive to the extent that her patients are able to respond in ways that enable their own understanding of their situations and desires. In turn, the therapist is instructed by listening to her patients, as she acknowledges, for example, when she tells us that “thirty years of listening to my patients . . . had made me see my ex-husband differently. . . . I was beginning to forgive” him. Finally, as we observe the work of this compassionate and skilled interlocutor, and the shared effort essential to such a process, we readers are also educated, whatever our own prior experiences with therapy (or not) may be.
The success of Bouncing Back derives both from its compelling subject matter and from the quality of Holtzman’s writing. She makes each of the principal figures a persuasively realized character—a real, recognizable person with whom we are moved to empathize, and for whom we, along with the author herself, can feel something like suspense.
These effects are enhanced by the use of descriptive detail, subtle shifts in tone, including occasional low-key humor, and graceful, unobtrusive integration of historical contexts and relevant research. Above all, Holtzman’s language is always clear and precise, with vivid and inventive figurative language offering readers both the pleasure of creativity and additional angles of insight into a person’s experience. Thus, for example, “It was like she stood on a fault line in the ground watching tall buildings sway back and forth”; and “I imagined the soft, snapping sound the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle made when they fit together.” Together, the parts of Bouncing Back seamlessly create a unified reading experience that both teaches and delights.
March 5, 2025
This is a fascinating and insightful story. Ellen is in a unique position, as from her therapist’s chair she is able to share two other women’s stories as well as her own, here in her memoir. As a result of this the book has a different format. Some of Lisa and Meghan’s experiences resonate with Ellen’s own of many years ago. This book gives us time for reflection, and to realise women deserve more. “The stories we tell about our lives shape the choices we make”, and will chart our forward path. The “narratives inform how we view ourselves in the past and in the future”. We can choose to transform ourselves and bounce back as strong independent women with a voice. Ellen learned to handle uncertainty, and to tell a new story about herself as a strong, capable woman who could achieve good things in her life. Her new career was just the start of a more fulfilled life with happiness and renewed purpose. An interesting and engaging read.
July 16, 2024
Ellen Holtzman's touching and personal memoir speaks to a woman's heart. A seasoned psychotherapist, Dr. Holtzman contemplates her own experiences while she assists others as they work through divorce. This well-written and insightful book is a gift to anyone struggling with the decision-making around keeping a marriage together and coping with the pain and aftermath of divorce.
March 2, 2025
Reading this book was like curling up on a comfy sofa with your favorite drink on a cold rainy day while hearing your new best friend’s very own story along with stories of a fascinating career. I couldn’t stop reading even though I realized I was sabotaging myself as I’d come to the end of the story sooner! This relatable author tells her story with wit, humor and honesty.
July 27, 2024
I loved this book and thought it was perfect for anyone contemplating whether a relationship is right for them, or struggling in the aftermath of a break-up. In addition to being smart and well written, it really is a tender hug!
July 31, 2024
Bouncing Back is an insightful and personal story of women and divorce. The author discusses her own experience with divorce and therapy while also detailing her experience as a psychologist helping other women through marital challenges. Great read.
August 1, 2024
This is a great book for anyone who is thinking about divorce - Ellen Holtzman PsyD gives the reader a compelling insight into what's like to be in this situation from both sides of the couch, as it were.
September 11, 2024
The author provides an in-depth look at what it means to grow from the trauma of unfulfilling relationships and move forward post-divorce. The book provides a dynamic view of the different ways women realize they deserve more.
October 1, 2024
When you're going through this type of situation you feel like you're the only one and feel so alone. Reading these stories had a personal effect on me because of my own experiences. Bouncing Back is so well written and engaging. A great read!
August 2, 2024
An interesting read. How different women in different situations cope , survive and eventually thrive when faced with divorce.
January 4, 2025
A compassionate and thoughtful guide not just to marriage and divorce but to living well, being honest and kind and independent in all the right ways. I am so happy to recommend this lovely book!
July 24, 2024
Ellen Holtzman walks us through her personal journey both as a therapist and a woman navigating a divorce and its aftermath. Her writing is honest and heartfelt. I rooted for her and the patients she profiles. I heartily recommend this book.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews