Shut Up and Eat Me

by J.C. Bryer

A dark and dirty reverse harem zombie romance.

Genres: Horror, Dark, Spicy, Halloween, Why Choose, Smut, Erotica

59 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 16, 2024

Reviews

[Sully Smutty · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why?? Why did I read this. Why do I do this to myself.

After 3.75 years on GR tracking what I read, after 1,700+ books, this is the one that sent me over the edge.

Maybe don't come back and read my cathartic edited add-on word salad sewage upchuck of a nonsensical review, because it's going to be almost as awful as reading about blue slushie in the ass crack, shoving dirty toes down a throat, licking yolk off your hand after dashboard frying an egg and finger-painting with period blood while muttering in Russian or wait is it Ukrainian, which orphanage are the four brothers from again? Maybe where the potato vodka runs as deep as the 19 syllable word fuckfest in the cornfield that didn't even gross me out because I was too busy trying to decipher sentences

that

never

ended

and had different fonts, sometimes three to a page, with a wackadoodle snicker-poodle indent all the way to the right and then BAM– semicolon, splice, huge font, comma, scream, I'm not scared yet.

[Jess Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shut Up and Eat Me took zombies to an entirely different level for me in the way that makes me think I'd be okay with the zombie apocalypse if this is what I was getting into.

If you haven't read J C Bryer yet you might not know this, but her stories are unlike anything you will ever read. Even in short stories such as this her characters are always fully developed so you can't help but root for them and wherever their ending may lead.

This Halloween adjacent story might be short, but it packs a punch. If creepy circus vibes, a bit of darkness and you know zombies eating... well more than brains is your thing then I know you will love this story as much as I did.

Oh, and did I mention this is a reverse harem? Yeah, that is right. Not one, not two but three wickedly delicious creatures for you to sink your teeth into.

*ARC received from author in exchange for my honest review. *

[Sass · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the sort of gross filth that I don't want to admit loving, but I actually do. An adult rated, scary circus with all manner of debauchery? Sure. Escaping an abusive marriage for a wild life of travel and a relationship with four pervy Ukranian zombie acrobats? Sounds kinky, but if they make you feel safe, okay. Get that zombie love, friend. You deserve a happy life.

[Krystle Krystlesbookclub · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one is spicy filth. Literally no other way to describe it. I wanted more spicy and less filth from the spicy scenes. It's a short and dirty quick read for Halloween.

Halloween vibes ✔️
Reverse Harem
Spicy scenes
Dirty boys

[M · Rating 1 out of 5]

?

I really wanted to enjoy this because I think the boys and her would have a fun relationship. However, the story felt all over the place and was so hard to follow that I honestly have no idea what was happening! In my opinion it was just too confusing?

[˗ˏˋ mckenna ˎˊ˗ · Rating 1 out of 5]

i am depraved enough to read zombie smut and unhinged enough to wish this was darker, gorier and sexier

[Marharyta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fabulously dirty and cryptic

💕 Has life ever come at you so hard that you decide to join the circus? If so, I recommend checking out this short story that only JC Bryer could write. Our MC gets chased around the circus by 4 large zombies, terrified, kicking, and screaming. Is she acting for the sake of the show? Or is her terror real, fuelled by her own personal demons…

The zombies are large, Ukrainian boys with walls of muscle. They grunt, monosyllabic sounds in their camo pants and shredded tees, whilst doing back flips. One chases her with a chainsaw. She allows them to touch her. It’s all for show. But after the show is when the fun truly begins. The story is dirty and cryptic, yet also alluring and intoxicating. A fabulous escape that lets your imagination run wild.

[Sela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book, confusing at times and dirty. I thought they’d be real zombies, thankfully they weren’t. They were hot Ukrainian men dressed as zombies who were kinky and dirty. I mean, dirty, licking toes, licking period blood lol and licking armpits. Crazy. The ex husband thing kinda threw me off.

[rylan · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 was confused while reading and still confused

[Aubrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

a sweet little surprise of a short story

This was shockingly good. So well written and poignant. A quick and spicy read with more plot and thought than it had any business having.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A smidge of carnival horror with a dash of filthy spice and a whole lot of fucking weird….. I was gagged and spooked with every page! I was obsessed from the beginning and flew thru this novella. Is there more? Gimme mooooore! Maybe a series from the Z’s POVs?? *insert heart eyes here*

Side note: it was a little choppy in the sense that it read sorta like a diary or journal, and with how unique it was in both plot and delivery, it is absolutely not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea. Read the blurb, check trigger and content warnings, and go in with an open mind :)

[Daria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Different

Hmmm kinda not sure what I read. I didn't dislike it but didn't love it either.
She kinda ran away and landed in like a carnie cove ran by zombies.
The Z's 4 of them a lot of quirkiness. Definitely dirty interestingly odd. Not a lot of story in this short piece if strange.

[Megan Thee Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Read for October/Halloween

Overall, 4.5 stars. I enjoyed this book because it gave me Halloween vibes but not too over the top. The story was kind of choppy in some parts but it was a quick read. I’d recommend to others.

[Olga Kamińska · Rating 4 out of 5]

zombie five-way fuck

Fuck… only 59 nine pages but I was grossed out, turn on, giggling and shit.
Quickie novel but nice. I even didn’t know I needed it until I read it.
But fuck me, I found new kink. Who knows licking faces might be such a turn on 😬🔥

[Kayla P · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t even understand what I just read. There isn’t a single plot point I can pinpoint and tell you about bc almost nothing happened in a way that was cohesive. There’s a mention of “you” that is never explained or made sense about. The constant stream of consciousness writing is awful and didn’t make any sense. There’s no cohesive timeline to anything, idk how to tell any of the characters apart, almost nothing happens except sex (I think?).

[BatDuckie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh

This was horrible. I hated the mix of first and second person pov throughout the entire thing. Also, it was all over the place. The format was so dang wonky. Some of the words were big and bold. Others were randomly in the middle of the page or on the right side. It didn't make sense. The story was all over the place, too. I don't know why I bothered to finish this, but it wasn't worth it. But thankfully, it was f.r.e.e. on Amazon when I grabbed it. Probably won't be checking anything else by this author if this is how they write 🥴😬

[Brantley-Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the story line, but it seemed to jump around a lot. I was confused for half of it. The spice was spicy, but with the spotty story line it added to the confusion. Seemed rushed with trying to add so much into a short story. Regardless, I still enjoyed the read.

[Rhiannon Cheyenne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shut Up and Eat Me - J. C. Bryer

I really like how the story is told. You don’t really see many stories formatted and told like this so it was a nice treat. This was a really fun book to read for Halloween and I definitely will be reading the other books in the series especially if they’re like this and with this writing style. Uri, Andres, David, and Z were interesting and I would love for another book with these characters again, especially with Tyler. There is some graphic content, but I definitely would recommend it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Out of 5 Stars ⭐️

🔥 / Spice Rating ☀️

# of Pages 🌙 59 pages

Release Date 🌟 9/16/24

Format 💫 Digital

Series 🌙 Head for the Holidays, #2

Genre/Tropes ✨ scare actor MMCs, MM, MF, why choose?, MMFMM, circus, Ukrainian MMCs

Favorite Character ☀️ N/A

Favorite Line 🌟 ‘Really, pops? I thought you used to walk to school in a blizzard and all that.’

‘He looks into your eyes and you know he’s being dramatic and manipulative… but, damn. He’s good at it.’

[Kat Colangelo · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️ 2 stars and that's generous.

Going in, I didn’t expect a lot from a book that’s barely 60 pages, but I do love short novellas and always give them the benefit of the doubt, still this one missed the mark hugely for me.

The story felt chaotic in a way that wasn’t engaging, more like jumping rapidly from one idea to the next without fully committing to or developing any of the storylines. The timeline was especially difficult to follow, with frequent jumps that made it hard to tell when things were happening.

The circus concept and the promotional videos surrounding the book were genuinely fun and creative. I also liked the smut scenes but again couldn't tell how long into the relationship these were happening, days, weeks, months. I think the core idea had a lot of potential, but it needed more consideration for the reader’s experience. With a clearer structure and more focus, this could have been something really interesting! But as it stands, it just didn’t work for me.

[Anthony Gregorey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, so this book was AMAZINGGGGGG!!!! Yes, it’s zombie related but not in the way you would think. This is about spooky circus characters who I absolutely love their thought process when it comes to this female character. She legit made me jealous of this random life she chose to live lol…..when you find out in the end why she chose that life temporarily, it put the icing on the cake for me! I highly recommend you read this book if you like short erotica thriller/horror. This book didn’t;t even give horror or thriller IMO but I still ATE IT UP!!!!!!

[heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is... A lot.

I've read some wild books but this one takes the cake this year for a whole other reason.

While the general idea is wonderful, this book didn't make the cut.

From sentences adding or not adding up, the font going all over the place, and the words didn't even stay in the same alignment.

If this book would get reworked and adjusted to fix the majority of the issues, I'm sure it could potentially be a four or five star read but for today, two stars.

[thekatz_meoww · Rating 2 out of 5]

this was a no for me

I don’t expect a lot especially going into a book that’s like 60 pages…but this was chaotic and not in a fun way, it just seemed like bouncing from one idea to the next without fully following through on a thought, and the constant changing of the text was confusing. The circus and the promo videos for it was a fun, but the story as a whole just missed the mark for me even with the deeper meaning

[Dark moonlight · Rating 1 out of 5]

honestly, I hate giving 1 star ratings... but this book was so disappointing. I really hoped im gonna enjoy a short smutty read but nooooo ... this is not it! I've read 30 pages and I was so so confused.... I skipped some pages cuz obviously, i wanted to check the smut... and again, NO. wtf is this.

[Areadingsunflower · Rating 1 out of 5]

uhm.... this would have been so much better if I didn't spend the entire time trying to decipher the sentences and what was going on. the whole book felt like word salad. the premise doesn't bother me and from the authors note I can appreciate what she was trying to say but this book made less than zero sense.

[Carrie West · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ever watch that show Mystery Science Theater? They play a movie and talk over it with? This was that. Like the actors were on a stage while someone in the corner had a mic just telling you what was happening as you watched it. It was a complete let down with nothing that grabbed my attention to keep me intrigued.

[Bella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh I mean it wasn't horrible, but the descriptions during the sex scenes grossed me out. I get its trying to highlight that her 'zombie' boys are gross and vile an she didn't get why she liked them so much but the armpit scene and when they licked her feet and dirty hands was just too much for me.

[Jay.reads2020 · Rating 1 out of 5]

i dont even want to write a review it was so bad. i got this from a stuff your kindle and i had to stop at page 26. i have no clue what is going on. Never in my life have i ever experienced a book so...weird(?). for the sake of your sanity don't read it, I was so confused 😭

[Ash · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title caught my attention but unfortunately, the story wasn't for me.

It has things I like but I couldn't get into the formatting and how the story progressed.
I did like the message of if you're in a DV situation then get out- loved that.

[Kendra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wanted more!

I really enjoyed this novella! I wanted more by the end, more details, more sex, more hot zombies. I loved the trauma healing and how it's basically a letter to the abuser. Great read!

[Slaughterhouse Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very confusing

The poverty switches from i\me to she in a few spots. Also I figured she was writing to someone but I'd like even a fee lines on why he's in jail. And why is when worried about him finding her if they travel? The writing style wasn't good me