Kirby's Lessons for Falling [in Love]

by Laura Gao

“I’m once again blown away by Laura Gao’s ability to make me relate to someone completely different from myself. Get ready to experience the epic highs and lows of high school rock climbing.”—Sonora Reyes, National Book Award finalist and bestselling author of The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School

Once dubbed the Queen of Balance as her school’s top rock climber, Kirby Tan suffers an injury that sidelines her for the rest of the season. Now she’s forced to join the newspaper club for some desperately needed extra credit. Worse, she’s recruited by crystal-wearing, tarot-reading Bex Santos for her astrology-based love advice column. As Kirby reluctantly agrees to orchestrate “matches made in heaven” with Bex, she begins to wonder if their own stars could be aligned. But loving who she wants isn’t so easy when her family and church community are on the line. Can Kirby pull off her greatest balancing act yet?

From Laura Gao, the acclaimed creator of Messy Roots, comes an authentic slow-burn romance and coming-of-age story perfect for fans of Heartstopper, lovers of astrology and tarot, and anyone looking for answers on the right way to fall (in love). 

Genres: Graphic Novels, Romance, Young Adult, LGBT, Queer, Comics, Contemporary

304 pages, Paperback

First published March 4, 2025

About the author

Laura Gao is a Chinese-American comics artist. Gao became famous when she released a short comic called "The Wuhan I Know" in response to the growing sinophobia due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The comic was later used as the basis for her graphic memoir called Messy Roots, released in March 2022.

Reviews

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

a heartwarming YA graphic novel about sapphic first love, rockclimbing, astrology, tarot, grief, and figuring out yourself out while making mistakes along the way. there's also the heavy matter of reconciling coming out with religious family ties.

though there's nothing objectively wrong with the art style, i had a hard time vibing with it. some characters are hard to distinguish, and there were panels where i wasn't sure exactly what was happening.

however, the art does exude emotions - my favorite was the bao-making montage, filled with joy and culinary magic! the soft color palette is also lovely.

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Children's Books for providing me with a copy of this book in return for an honest review.

[Maia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirby is a high school rock climbing champion forced to take a hiatus from her sport after an injury. While she's recovering, she joins the newspaper class and teams up with an enthusiastic, scattered, passionate classmate, Bex, who believes in astrology and crystal energy. Bex wants to run a write-in astrology themed relationship column and quickly talks Kirby into some wild shenanigans setting up various classmates with each other. Unsurprisingly this has unintended consequences! Kirby and Bex grow closer and begin to share details of their home lives and families, but also run into issues that threaten to destroy the fragile feelings growing between then. Through this there are also threads of grief and family lineage- Kirby's father died young, and now her grandfather is aging and fading. I thought this book had maybe a couple too many moving pieces- there was one twist in the middle I might have cut or shortened to give some of the elements more space. But I really loved both Kirby and Bex as characters and as romantic leads they felt so fresh and fun.

[Anniek · Rating 3 out of 5]

This didn't entirely live up to my expectations, and honestly I ended up with mixed feelings. I thought this story was good, but it didn't stand out to me as something that will stay with me. I feel like I've read similar stories before and have enjoyed some of them more. It didn't help that I struggled with the art style - I didn't find the characters very recognizable, so I struggled to tell them apart and keep track of who's who, which made it harder to follow along with the narrative. I did enjoy the writing, the humour and the colour scheme, but it wasn't enough for me to really enjoy this.

[Rod Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed Laura Gao's Messy Roots: A Graphic Memoir of a Wuhanese American, but this attempt at YA high school coming-of-age/romance fiction just screams sophomore slump. I forgave the skittery nature of her art and writing in her memoir because the subject matter was so interesting to me, but here it left me detached from the blah characters and the bland plot.

Also, astrology and tarot are turnoffs for me, and a lot of time is given to both, canceling out my interest in the LGBTQ+ and immigrant elements.

Too long and too boring, and that's too bad. But I'd still come back for book number three.

[Frank Chillura (OhYouRead) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have never understood the want to rock climb. It sounds like I’d sweat too much, fall too much, and I really do not like heights. BUT I look up to anyone that finds that kind of thing exciting. The stamina and strength it takes is commendable… just not for me.

Maybe that’s why I wanted to read Kirby’s Lessons For Falling (In Love). The idea that even if you climb, even if you fall, there are so many ways to pick yourself back up.

This was full of love, as well as sadness. There was more than one death of a family member that happened off page, as well as a lot more drama and sadness that brought many a tear to my eyes. So bring a box of tissues when you read this.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great YA graphic novel from Laura Gao, this time a Sapphic opposites attract romance between Kirby, a star rock climber and Bex, an astrology loving relationship advice geek. When Kirby falls in a competition and hurts her wrist she needs to find another extracurricular activity and chooses the newspaper club where she gets paired up with Bex working on an astrology-based matchmaking/advice column.

I loved the great cast of queer friend side characters, the complicated relationship Kirby has with her widowed single mother and the secondary storyline involving Kirby's grandfather who suffered a stroke when she came out and is now confined to a wheelchair. Full of family drama, high school antics, great illustrations, anxiety rep and tons of heart.

Recommended for fans of books like Laura Dean keeps breaking up with me by Mariko Tamaki. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!

[elbow ☆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars
to my core i am a hater.

i'm sorrrrrry i wanted to enjoy this but i was just so confused!!! i couldn't tell the characters apart, i couldn't follow the storyline, and i was just so baffled the whole time. the religious stuff seemed sorta underdone and not explained very well, and i even didn't like the formatting of the text within the comics.

sorry laura gao!

[andshe.reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well this was my first ever graphic novel and I can't say I was disappointed.

Laura Gao brings us a heartwarming sapphic 'first' love story. Fueled with the usual teen drama, Gao also covers anxiety representation and also the heavy topic of 'coming out' and highly religious families. She smashes it, BTW.

The cast of characters was awesome and pretty relatable in terms of remembering our teenage years, the insecurities, family and friendship drama, and so on.

Of course, I was rooting for Kirby and Bex. They were so cute and fun together.

Full of fantastic illustrations and the colours that just blend their way through the book added to a great read. Can't wait to try more graphic novels in the future.

Thank you to PrideBookTours, the author and publisher, for a copy of the book.

[andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the advanced digital copy!

this book will be out Mar 04 2025.

--

this is a sweet little graphic novel about grief, discovering yourself, and being honest in your own identity too.

kirby tan is a climber, something she started out doing with her beloved dad by her side. years later, kirby's a great climber, largely disciplined by her balance, but her dad has passed on, which is something that's maybe made kirby a little bit afraid of risks. this fear leads her to a hand injury and she's off climbing for a while, but decides to fill the space by joining the school newspaper, writing horoscopes and connecting people.

maybe here's the place kirby finds her people - there's bex, always porting around a broken piece of amber as a talisman from her last relationship and maybe from the world, too. kirby knows all about finding faith in things - she's a member of her church and she likes it, but she also knows that if they find out about her queerness then maybe they won't love her back.

this little graphic novel is about carving out your own identity and how toxic it is to operate out of fear. about how listening to the opinions of others will only negatively impact your own life, not change you into the person that they want you to become. i felt like some of the plot/narrative was a bit murky and unclear at times, which is why i couldn't rate this one a five. but overall a solid, cute read.

[Meggie Ramm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Competitive rock-climber Kirby is forced to join the school newspaper after a fall, and slowly starts to fall for Bex, the writer of an astrology based love column. But how does her queer identity fit in with her mom's church community? And what will she do when her bone heals and she has to leave newspaper for climbing? 

This graphic novel had a lot of moving parts: rock climbing arch rivals, the death of a parent, acceptance and rejection by a church community, living with a family member with dementia, and a love story. Occasionally it was hard to find a main through line. The organic quality of the art made for a lovely comic, but that plus the multiple plot points led to me getting confused more than once. 

A lovely story with a phenomenal cover.

[Sean Briere · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really interested and locked in the very beginning of this graphic novel, especially all the stuff having to do with climbing. Once the character's story switched to her joining the school paper I was pretty bored. I stuck with it until close to 70%, but tbh it felt like torture. I was fully bored by this one.

[AquaMoon · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one was a bit... messy, I suppose. From the storyline that struggled to find its handholds to the artwork that looked more like rough draft mockups than final prints. I liked the premise, but it failed to grab me.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounded up. A coming of age, coming out, first love story. I really appreciated the nuanced perspective on a deeply religious Chinese-American community and the role they played in Kirby’s life and the life of her mother trying to get by as a widowed single mom who had immigrated to America with her husband who has since passed away.
It avoided any caricatures and black-and-white thinking and it worked well to show how Kirby’s delaying coming out relates to the family’s strong bond to a religious immigrant and first gen American community, which I really appreciated.
It also had some lovely queer joy and a variety of supportive characters, which I really appreciated.

[Bailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was just okay. I was really looking forward to a piece of fiction from Laura Gao, thinking I might enjoy it more than their memoir, but I wasn't blown away. I loved the color scheme and enjoyed the general story, but I've read so many stories (especially graphic novels, honestly) with almost the same exact plots and themes. I was hoping for something a little more original, with a little more rock climbing.

[Starr ❇✌❇ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story didn't go where I expected! I liked the framing of the lessons on falling, and I always like a good "set-'em-up" type of wingman style troping, so that worked for me. I also enjoyed seeing such a balanced representation of diaspora and religious community, instead of total rebellion or distancing. This felt surprisingly healthy, for what it is. For me, though, the pacing got in the way- the romance happened too quickly while the story felt too long.

[chvang · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.something stars, rounded up to 4.

Summary.

Good: nuances. No bad guys, no one dimensional villains. Just people trying their best.

OK. Bad: the layout is chaotic, cluttered.

Recommendations: YMMV, but all in all, well told and intimate that the not-so-great parts dont detract from it.

[shatterinseconds · Rating 4 out of 5]

*3.75 stars

[Eliott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love)
Overall Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ .5 (3.5/5) or 7.00/10 overall

Characters - 7

Atmosphere - 8

Writing - 7

Plot - 7

Intrigue - 7

Logic - 7

Enjoyment - 6

[lara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a cute read!! Really enjoyed it <3

[K. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Content warnings: death of a parent, mental health, vomit, xenophobia, religious bigotry, injury detail, sexual harassment, terminal illness

3.5 stars

Look, for the most part I enjoyed this. I liked the rock climbing stuff and the dynamic between Kirby and Bex. But ultimately, I found myself wanting *more* from this. More of what I'm not quite sure. But SOMETHING.

[Benny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweet but left me wanting. I usually really like looser, messier, less refined art styles but something about this just felt more like a first draft than a finished piece. a bit long, a bit samey. Not without merit though! I need to read Laura Gao's autobiographical work

[brontësaurus · Rating 2 out of 5]

review to come.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kirby’s Lessons for Falling [in Love] is an interesting & beautifully emotional slowburn, opposites attract young adult romance between a rock climber & a relationship advice columnist with a passion for astrology. I was in awe of the artwork & I loved the way in which it told the story & evoked so much emotion. This book made me realize I need to read more graphic novels. As a rock climber, I loved seeing rock climbing featured. It bouldered its way into my heart. I also appreciated the difficult & important topics it covered. This was a fascinating young adult graphic novel that is easy to fall for.

Kirby’s Lessons for Falling [in Love] Is great for those looking to read…
💙 Graphic Novels
💙 YA Sapphic Romance
💙 Opposites Attract
💙 Forced Proximity- Newspaper Club
💙 Rock Climber x Astrology Loving Relationship Advice Columnist

Thank you to Epic Reads & StoryGram tours for the gifted copy, which I voluntarily read & reviewed.

[Mimsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the e-ARC of Kirby's Lessons for Falling (in Love)!
4.5 / 5 ⭐

A cute coming of age (and coming out) high school story. Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (in Love) features a slew of dynamic LGBTQIA+ characters, complicated teenage hormones, and a bittersweet ending. In addition to the expected themes, we also have multiple brief depictions of death, illness / medical decline, and grief.

[Merritt · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a lot of ways to fall in life, think trick is knowing how to get back up again.

Thank you to #NetGalley and Harper Collins for this copy of #KirbysLessonsForFallingInLove in exchange for my honest review.

If you've gotten your fill of Heartstopper and want a mixed-race, southern American, lesbian take on the slow burn queer high school romance give this book a chance. Kirby's Lessons for Falling does a great job at weaving so many elements of the two main character's stories to create an interesting narrative dealing with religion, queer acceptance, grief, and coming into oneself as a young adult. 

I don't really want to say much else about it, as I think the story will speak for itself. Truly I only had a few small issues with this book - 1. The digital format split pages that are meant to be full spreads so I had to turn the page back and forth (always a nitpick for me), 2. The art style got a little muddy so sometimes things were hard to follow but the story line does a good job of leading you through that, 3. There's an attempted serial assault situation that caught me off guard. It's not graphic, the panels are short, and the friends put a stop to anything before something actually happens but it's there and something to look out for if that's sensitive for you.

Overall though, the messages are clear and important and worth checking out. 

[Lisa Pineo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This sounded really cool and I wanted to read a queer graphic novel for Pride month so I gave it a go. Sadly it didn't really grab me. I found the story itself to be diluted with too many subplots. Kirby likes competitive climbing but injures herself so she joins newspaper club to help bring up her English mark and meets a cool girl who she falls for. But there's also friends' stories, mom's story, backstories, a religious aspect, her grandfather's stories in the present and past...it all got convoluted and confusing. I didn't really gel with the characters, probably because there were so many I didn't get to know enough about each one and got some confused. Plus the art style was okay but with only minimal color, stories in the past and present, and the detail level changing a lot I didn't know what was happening a lot. I did like Kirby's story with Bex, it was just overshadowed by everything else.

[Bek (MoonyReadsByStarlight) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good overall. some of the parts about needing to be a certain kind of person in family and religion reasonates with me. I do wish more had been done on the astrological side of things. I'm general, a few aspects of the plot would have benefited from being longer. But even still, it is a good on3

[Margherita · Rating 3 out of 5]

This didn't work much for me.
I think the start was pretty choppy and weirdly paced, and I considered DNFing for a bit but thankfully it got a bit better as it went on (but still felt a bit choppy/messy/confusing at times). Overall I still see what the author was trying to do and like the topics included in the story, even though they didn't feel very fleshed out.

[angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

yayyyy go laura 😻😻😻😻

[Emmie Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars