Laid by the Lint Trap Monster: A Sentient Object Quickie

by Holly Wilde

When your new house has a laundry list of problems to tend to, the last thing you need is a literal laundry machine creature looming over you...or is it?

Enjoy this Quickie from Holly Wilde about a lint trap monster who is freed from the dryer, and repays the kindness with a fresh load of warm laundry.

Genres: Spicy, Short Stories, Smut, Romance, Monsters

14 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 8, 2024

About the author

If you’re looking to escape the boundaries of reality that we are so often confined to, then look no further. Sentient-smutty-smut and literal personification of everyday items is what you’ll find here.

Hi! it’s nice to meet you, I’m Holly “no-explanation” Wilde, and if you don’t buckle your seatbelt up for this ride, your chair will do it for you.

Follow me over on IG to get updates on my latest releases!

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing in ever conceivable way! The author's use of so many laundry terms during the sex had me dying. Doing loads and balls churning and even some naughty tidbits about fresh towels, I may never clean the lint trap again. I wish that, after our lead got ravaged here, her privates smelled distinctly like a fresh fabric softener sheet. Just a nice, classy touch. Although, the fact that the lint monster used his absorption to mop up the mess he made on her was quite convenient. And his entrance, bellowing "Hey, stop. That's my cock" was very entertaining. Very innovate and hilarious erotica with some good old-fashioned sex between a horny woman and a different type of creation, this was memorable.

[Britni Brecheen]

I didn’t realize my kindle was telling you guys I read this. 🙈 but also please read it (not you, Kathryn)

[Nessa’s Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holly Wilde’s Laid by the Lint Trap Monster takes a hilariously bizarre premise and spins it into a spicy, awkward, and undeniably entertaining quick read.

Our FMC finds herself in quite the predicament when she frees a lint trap monster from her dryer. Rather than causing chaos, this peculiar creature repays her kindness with a fresh load of warm laundry—and a little something extra.

This quirky novella had me laughing out loud and questioning my relationship with household appliances. The mix of humour, spice, and sheer absurdity makes for a read that’s as unexpected as it is delightful.

It’s a quickie that’s perfect for anyone looking to escape into a world where even lint has a surprising side. I will never be able to look at lint the same way ever again! If you’re in the mood for something offbeat and steamy, this one’s a must-read!

[marissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was short and fun and super punny lol

[Tessa Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

only rating 5 because WHAT😂 i was forced to read this and no one can judged me off of this

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

NOW THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

[Emmy P · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're looking for a 14 page pun filled tumble in the sheets, walk right over here. Absolutely wild time. I have like a million questions.

I wasn't originally going to review this one, but its been months and I am still thinking about its content. There is nothing more I could say that you can't go and see for yourself.

[Cortney · Rating 3 out of 5]

AGAIN, if you know me, no you don't for legal purposes. I am Casper.

FMC: Human

MMC: Lint. Trap. Monster.
Yes. You read that correctly. No, I will not be elaborating further because I cannot process this either.

My favorite part?
The sheer commitment to the bit.

The laundry puns??? Criminal. Unhinged. Pulitzer-worthy, honestly. I loved them.

“one more load ready to go”
“he grunts like a washing machine”
“ball churning” (STRAIGHT TO JAIL.)
“tumbling action of a dryer”
“this isn’t a delicate cycle”

At one point I had to pause, stare at a wall, and reevaluate every decision that led me here. *Ahem, TBR scratchers*

The plot (and I use that word VERY loosely):
She reaches into her lint trap… and instead of lint, she grabs a man.
Not just any man. A lint entity.
WITH A COCK.
THAT IS ON FIRE.

Respectfully, WHAT.

And not only is there ONE lint demon??
There are others.
There is apparently a whole cinematic universe happening and I was not warned. In the attic, a leaky pipe, you get the gist.


Anyway, here are my completely professional, very serious thoughts:

- Monster romance curiosity
People read monster romance to explore boundaries. This book said “boundaries?” and then threw them directly into the dryer on high heat for 90 minutes.

-Shock value + humor
You don’t read this. You survive it.
This is a group activity. A live reaction event. A “pause every 3 minutes to scream in Discord” experience.
Shoutout to Sydney for witnessing my descent into madness in real time.

- Short, low-commitment chaos
It’s not a 500-page emotional investment. It’s quick, weird, and memorable, which makes it perfect for palate-cleansing between heavier reads.

- Romance??
If you came here for love, tenderness, or emotional connection… I regret to inform you that this is not that journey.
This is vibes only. Unstable, flaming, lint-covered vibes.

She literally spits on her hand to put out the fire and just…keeps going.
No hesitation. No questions. No thoughts. Just action.

Honestly?
She’s stronger than me.

Anyway, I hope you read it. It's a short read -14 pages that you must experience.

[Darkbookghoul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Laid By The Lint Trap Master by Holly Wilde is another funny, short quirky read. Expect lots of laughs and funny sex scenes. Never lets us down.

[Guami Mommy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Peaked my imagination for bizarre horror smut, the less traumatic kind.

[Rachel Pollard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could never fathom the amount of many laundry puns

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mean… the laundry puns were pretty good

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Tumble with me.'

Utterly absurd. I mean... Linthood.
I just can't. 😂
Was hilarious static for my brain.

Might go stick my head in the dryer now and see what I find.

[Courtney Dunlap · Rating 1 out of 5]

I mean… what do you expect?

[browngirlreads · Rating 1 out of 5]

someone ban this tide commercial

[Rylee Davidson]

Normally I dread doing laundry and changing the lint trap, now I look forward to touching the soft fibers and can only imagine the warm embrace. I’ve found myself touching warm laundry in a concerning, yet comforting way.

[Nootka Lenoir · Rating 3 out of 5]

DON’T ASK
But honestly the amount of puns in this HILARIOUS!
Did not know a 14 page story could contain so many

[Chantelle Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haha what did I just read but loved every page

[Bria · Rating 1 out of 5]

Imagine giving a blowjob to something made out of lint, it’s giving taking a bite out of a cattail, aka the forbidden hotdog.
Could’ve been 2 stars because of the laundry based humour, however the sex swing the monster conjured like some laundry version of spider-man, complete with pegs, ruined me, along with the statement “tumble with me”

[Jessie Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where that beautiful brain comes up with these I’ll never know but I’ll kept on reading them every time!

[Kristina]

My dryer broke this morning, is this a sign?

[peachypiereads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve read a lot of sentient object romances so I’m desensitized to a lot of things but lemme tell you that this was a WILD ride. Each line was even crazier than the last and I ended the book with my mouth wide open, bamboozled, wondering, “what the hell did I just read 😳.” I have SO many questions and even more concerns 🥲 I wish to one day achieve the level of unbotheredness that the FMC expressed; I truly believe that there is nothing in the universe that could faze her.

This is definitely a book that I will be thinking about for a long time. Also I would like to make an honorable mention to all the hilarious laundry puns that Holly wove throughout the book. I appreciated all of them and they made me giggle coughlinthoodcough💕🧺

[Her Reading Tails · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh Boy...

Is it dumb? Definitely.
Did I read parts of it aloud to my partner? Absolutely.
Were we laughing our asses off? Hell yes.

The puns are well-placed in this ridiculous little tale of a woman and her freshly laundered lover. If you came here looking for a high-quality literary experience, you were most definitely led astray. Enjoy this silly story for what it is, and know that your book recommendations have been forever altered.

[Martha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay this one was even more unhinged than the airplane one, for me at least.

I was about to start washing my clothes, but now idk if I’ll be able to look at lint the same way lmao

How does this even work? It doesn’t really matter, but I just can’t get that thought out of my head lmao

This was definitely creative and fun, I’ll tell you that much. What a great way to complete my reading goal!

[Bethia Berry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This piece is weird, comical, and short, with much discussion about laundry. I almost laughed when it said, "As he works me like a dirty girl in need of a thorough rinse." It's 14 pages long, excluding the title and the final pages.

[DeannaK ✨ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was dared to read this.

[Sami | chaosandchapters_ · Rating 2 out of 5]

What….what did I just read? Another spellbound after dark pick. I just….what?!

[Rowan of Waterdeep · Rating 5 out of 5]

14 pages of silly fun. 10 socks-as-a-replacement-for-spunk outta 10.

[Kimbot the Destroyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The usual Holly Wilde combo of puns, weirdness, mediocre sex, and threats of sequels.

[Madi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wtf did i just read for book group?