THE AMERICAN : PLOT SYNOPSIS WITH SOUNDTRACK
On a lovely day in May, 1868, Christopher Newman, a wealthy American businessman, sits down in the Louvre with an aesthetic headache, having seen too many paintings.
A young Parisian copyist, Noémie Nioche, catches his eye, and he agrees to buy the painting she is working on for the extravagant price of 2,000 francs.
BARRET STRONG : MONEY
Money don't buy everything it's true
But what it don't buy, I can't use
Here's 2000 francs
(that's what I want)
For your painting
(that's what I want. although 3000 would be good too)
Shortly thereafter, Newman recognizes Tom Tristram, an old friend from the Civil War, wandering the gallery.
THE CARTER FAMILY : FRIEND TO ME
If ever I have had a pal
You've been that friend to me
Since the day I helped saw your leg off
Newman explains that he has made quite a fortune and now he has come to Europe to find a wife to complete his fortune.
BOBBY DARIN : DREAM LOVER
Every night I hope and pray
A dream lover will come my way
Mrs. Tristram suggests Claire de Cintré, the beautiful and widowed daughter of an impossibly aristocratic family, the Bellegardes.
JACKIE WILSON : REET PETITE
Well, lookabell,lookabell,lookabell,lookabell Oooooh Weeeeee
Lookabell,lookabell,lookabell OoooooWeeee
Oh, Ah,Oh,Ah, Oh wee
Well, she's so fine,fine,fine,She's so fine fafafa fine
She's so fi iii ine,She's so fine,fine,fine
She's really sweet the finest girl you ever wanna meet
Oh,oh,oh,oh Oh,oh,oh,oh,oh
Rrrrrrrr Reet Petite, the finest girl you ever wanna meet
Several days later, Newman stops by the Tristram house only to find the visiting Claire, who politely invites him to call on her.
MARLENE DIETRICH : FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
Men cluster to me like moths around a flame
And if their wings burn I know I'm not to blame
When Newman stops by the Bellegarde home, a pleasant young man promises to go get Claire, but is checked by an imposing older figure who claims she is not at home.
SMILEY LEWIS : I HEAR YOU KNOCKING
I hear you knocking but you can't come in
Come back tomorrow night & try it again
Shortly thereafter, M. Nioche, Noémie's father, appears at Newman's hotel with his daughter's heavily varnished and framed picture. When the timid, bankrupt Nioche admits his fear that his beautiful daughter will come to a bad end, Newman offers to let her earn a modest dowry by painting. When he meets Noémie in the Louvre to commission the paintings, however, she tells him bluntly that she cannot paint and will only marry if she can do so very well.
THE SPICE GIRLS : I WILL ONLY MARRY IF I CAN PAINT VERY WELL
I'll tell you what I want
What I really really want
I will only marry if I can paint very well
I will only marry if I can paint very well
Yeah
Mrs. Tristram encourages Newman to spend the summer traveling, promising that Claire will wait for his return.
CLIFF RICHARD : SUMMER HOLIDAY
We're all going on a summer holiday
Doing things we always wanted to
Fun and laughter on our summer holiday
Exploring ruins, monuments and cathedrals
Ha ha ho ho
Newman spends a wonderful summer exploring ruins, monuments, cathedrals, and the countryside with his usual enthusiasm. On his return to Paris in the fall, Newman calls on Claire and finds her at home with her brother Valentin, the pleasant young man he met on the first visit. Newman is deeply drawn to Claire's presence, her peace, and her intense yet mild eyes.
ELVIS PRESLEY : I GOT STUNG
Holy smoke, land sakes alive!
I never thought this could happen to me
Mm, yeah! Mm, yeah!
I got stung by a sweet honey bee
Oh, what a feeling come over me
It started in my eyes
Crept up to my head
Flew to my heart
Till I was stung dead
I'm done, uh-uh
I got stung!
About a week later, Valentin calls on Newman at home. The two talk late into the night and soon become fast friends. Valentin explains to Newman that Claire was married at eighteen, against her will, to the disagreeable old Count de Cintré. Valentin tried to stop the wedding, but his mother, the Marquise and his brother, Urbain—the imposing older figure who barred Newman's first visit—coveted the Count's pedigree and fortune.
EMINEM : I COVET YOUR PEDIGREE
[lyrics removed after complaint received from copyright holder]
When the Count dies and his questionable business practices are exposed. Claire is so horrified that she withdraws her claim to his money. The Marquise and Urbain allows this withdrawal on the condition that Claire obey them completely for ten years on every issue but marriage.
THE STOOGES : I WANNA BE YOUR DOG
And I'll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your dog for ten years
And now I wanna be your dog for ten years
And now I wanna be your dog for ten years
Well, come on
Newman tells Valentin that he would like to marry Claire.
PERCY SLEDGE : WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN
When a man loves a woman
Spend hisa very lasta dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he neeeeds
He'd give up all his skanking around Europe
Stop visiting prostitutes
If she said that's the way it ought to be
Valentin promises to help Newman's cause, out of both friendship and a spirit of mischief. The following day, Newman calls on Claire and finds her alone. He frankly details his love,
THE WHO : I CAN'T EXPLAIN
Dizzy in the head and I'm feeling blue
The things you said, well, maybe they're true
I'm gettin' funny dreams again and again
I know what it means, but …
Can't explain
I think it's love
Maybe
I dunno
I'm inarticulate
his assets,
MUDDY WATERS : I'M A MAN
I'm a full grown man
Man
I'm a natural born lovers man
Man
I'm a rollin' stone
I'm a man-child
I'm a hoochie coochie man
well, well, well, well
hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
It can't have escaped your notice
What I'm actually singing about here
I got a big one
Yeah
and his desire to marry her. Fascinated but hesitant, Claire tells him she has decided not to marry, but agrees to get to know him if he promises not to speak of marriage for six months.
MARNI NIXON (dubbing for Deborah Kerr): GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.
Getting to know you,
Putting it my way,
But nicely,
You are precisely,
My cup of tea.
Delighted by Newman's success, Valentin arranges an audience with the heads of the family later that week.
BLACK UHURU : GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER
Guess who's coming to dinner, Natty Dreadlocks
Guess who's coming to dinner, Natty Dreadlocks
So let's give thanks and praise, Natty Dreadlocks
I appreciate the herb you brought for me, Natty Dreadlocks
On the appointed evening, after some painful small talk, Newman horrifies the assembled company with a long and candid speech about his poor adolescence
BILLY JOE ROYAL : DOWN IN THE BOONDOCKS
Down in the boondocks, down in the boondocks
People put me down 'cause that's the side of town I was born in
and the makings of his fortune. When the others have left for a ball, Newman bluntly tells the Marquise that he would like to marry her daughter.
HERMAN'S HERMITS : MARQUISE VON WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY DAUGHTER
Walkin' about, even in a crowd, well
You'll pick her out, makes a bloke feel so proud
After inquiring with equal frankness about his wealth, the Marquise grudgingly agrees to consider his proposal. Several days later, M. Nioche unexpectedly appears at Newman's hotel room, clearly worried about Noémie's antics.
THE COASTERS : POISON NOÉMIE
She comes on like a rose
But everybody knows
She'll get you in dutch
You can look but
You better not touch
Poison Noémie, poison Noémie
Late at night while you're sleeping
Poison Noémie comes a-creeping around
Newman decides to visit Noémie at the Louvre to discern the trouble. He encounters Valentin en route and brings him along. Valentin, completely charmed by Noémie and her ruthless, sublime ambition, resolves to pursue her.
THE BEACH BOYS ; HERE TODAY
it starts with just a little glance now
right away you're thinking about romance now
you know you oughta take it slower
but you just can't wait to get to know her
Shortly thereafter, Newman receives an invitation to dinner at the Bellegarde house. After dinner, Urbain confirms that the family has decided to accept Newman as a candidate for Claire's hand.
DEAN MARTIN : MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS
one girl, one boy
two bags of joy
Over the next six weeks Newman comes often to the Bellegarde house, more than content to haunt Claire's rooms and attend her parties.
DOBIE GRAY : THE IN CROWD
Any time of the year, don't you hear? Spendin' cash, talkin' trash
I'll show you a real good time, come on with me, leave your troubles behind
I don't care where you've been, you ain't been nowhere til you've been in
With the in crowd, with the in crowd, in crowd!
One afternoon as he awaits Claire, Newman is approached by Mrs. Bread, the Bellegardes' old English maid, who secretly encourages him in his courtship. Meanwhile, the Bellegardes' long-lost cousin Lord Deepmere arrives in Paris. Upon the expiration of the six-month period of silence about marriage, Newman proposes to Claire again, and she accepts.
EDDIE CANTOR : YES YES MY BABY SAID YES YES
Instead of no no
The next day, Mrs. Bread warns Newman to lose no time in getting married. The Marquise is evidently displeased by the engagement, but agrees to throw an engagement ball.
THE B52S : PARTY OUT OF BOUNDS
Who's to blame when situations degenerate?
Disgusting things you'd never anticipate
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo--ooooooo...
The following few days are the happiest in Newman's life, as he sees Claire every day, exchanging longing glances and tender words. Meanwhile, the Marquise and Urbain are away, taking Deepmere on a tour of Paris. On the night of the Bellegarde ball, Newman suffers endless introductions gladly and feels elated. He surprises first the Marquis and then Claire in heated discussions with Lord Deepmere, but thinks little of it. Afterwards, he and Claire exchange declarations of happiness.
VELVET UNDERGROUND : I'LL BE YOUR MIRROR
I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty that you are
But if you don't let me be your eyes
A hand in your darkness, so you won't be afraid
I'll be your mirror
The next morning, Newman arrives at the Bellegardes' to find Claire's carriage packed. In great distress, Claire confesses that she can no longer marry him. The Marquise and Urbain admit that they have interfered, unable to accept the idea that a commercial person should marry into their family.
THE SHANGRI-LAS : LEADER OF THE PACK
One day The Marquise said find someone new(new,new)
I had to tell Mr Newman we're through
(Whatcha mean when he said that you better go find somebody new?)
He stood there and asked me why
But all I could do was cry
I'm sorry I hurt you, American man of independent means
Vrrroooommm Vrrroooommm
Now read on….