The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

by Shari Franke

Una familia aparentemente feliz de seis hermanos, con unos valores religiosos admirables, escondía el horror del maltrato físico y emocional. Ruby Franke, quien se postulaba como madre perfecta, era en realidad la personificación de una pesadilla: castigos desmesurados, abuso y un chantaje emocional espeluznante era lo que los hermanos Franke recibían si no saciaban la sed de likes y suscriptores de su madre.

Cuando Shari Franke, la hija mayor, consiguió escapar y denunciar el caso, logró plasmar su experiencia sobre papel en un relato adictivo y conmovedor. Esta es una historia de abuso familiar y trauma, pero también de superación y valentía, que ha cautivado a millones de lectores en todo el mundo.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Biography, True Crime, Religion, Biography Memoir

319 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 7, 2025

About the author

Shari Franke is the eldest daughter in the Franke family. She is a student at Brigham Young University.

Reviews

[Brady Lockerby · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO impactful and important! This is exactly why i am so anti family vlog channels and any social media pages that use children for some type of income, before they are mature enough to understand what they are signing up for. this quote from chapter 48 stuck out to me the most: “I wondered how the public’s consumption of others’ pain and suffering crossed the line from empathy to voyeurism? How quickly have we, as a society, become numb to the struggles of others, our capacity for compassion eroded by the sheer volume of human drama we’re exposed to daily?”

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I… have so many thoughts and I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to pass judgement on this book or not. I will just say I feel like the author was SO close to realizing the role that her church played in her experiences of abuse and I hope she gets there some day.

[Gabby · Rating 5 out of 5]

fuck mommy bloggers

[Haley Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

rating based on my personal reading experience

as someone who was raised LDS and grew up in the same hometown as Ruby, this was as harrowing as it was relatable. homophobia, abuse, grooming, manipulation, and coercion all under the guise of being sweet little mormons? sounds about right!! this book was well written and insightful and raw.

it seemed like Shari was 🤏 THIS CLOSE to fully understanding the role that the LDS church played in all of the suffering she has experienced. but by the end, she continues to be a member and changes Wards, keeping on the red colored glasses. I truly wish her the best and I hope one day she can finally leave the shackles of this terrible church and see it for what it is.

I also commend Shari for sharing her story and doing so in an empathetic and non-exploitative way for her and her younger siblings. ending cycles of generational trauma is hard!! she is doing a fantastic job

[avery · Rating 5 out of 5]

UPDATE: I am SO GLAD Shari finally got to tell her story, without news outlets and social media exploiting her family. This had me in tears, my heart was racing for her. She is stronger than I could ever hope to be. I hope anyone who reads this can learn the patterns of abuse, that Shari lays out in her book. These topics are so important to prevent abuse for ourselves and to advocate for others. WELL DONE SHARI.


IM LOCKED IN. NEED THIS BOOK NOW. 2025 HERE WE COME

[Jess Owens]

*I do not rate memoirs.*

I was one of the many people that was following the case against Jodi Hildebrant and Ruby Franke. I never watched Eight Passengers, and I don't watch family vlogging content in general (and yes, I'm very proud to say that.) I do, however, keep up with happenings in the Mormon space and that's how I was alerted of this case.

I think that Shari and her co-writer did an excellent job, this story was well written. I did listen via audio which Shari narrated. I did learn things about Shari, the abuse she experienced, and her family from this memoir. There is a lot that the public will know if you were following the case. I still think it's a worthwhile read because it's Shari's accounting, and she was an actual victim of the abuse from her mother and Jodi.

Shari is still very young, maybe 22? So I don't think you should expect this memoir to read as if it was written by someone who is late 20s, 30s, or 40s. Shari is still very close to the abuse she and her siblings endured. I think that with time, age, and experience, she may have a different perspective on the entire situation. And even with this, I still think it's worth it to read her story.

Shari shares growing up with Ruby and how she also questioned if she was loved, and I think that's something many people can relate to. She chronicles life as a young child and how her mother got into family vlogging. She talks about embarrassing life moments being captured and put on the internet for content. I didn't know that Shari had a channel, but she followed the footsteps of her mother and created a YouTube channel where she vlogged her life and her siblings. She owns that she too benefited from her siblings by using them as content, but it's what she was shown by Ruby. I also appreciate and applaud her for not naming her younger siblings or going into detail about them in this memoir.

Some people are upset because at the end of the day, Shari is still a member of the Mormon faith. I too find this frustrating but then I step back and remember she's 22. She's so young. I was never in a high demand religion, but I was naive at 22, so I'm not surprised. She also shows a lot of grace for her father, Kevin Franke, who I don't think deserves it, but he's not my father. If that is part of her healing, then so be it.

Overall, I think for someone so young, this was a good memoir. I would be interested to hear from her again in 5-10 years, when she's had more life experience and distance from the trauma, to see what she would say. I wonder if she will stick with the Mormon faith? She is currently engaged and to me, that's super young, but very in line with a traditional Mormon. I wish her the best in her healing journey, and hope that she can enjoy her life offline, and only come back into the spotlight if she wants to.

[Emily May · Rating 4 out of 5]

The line between genuine interaction and performance had blurred so completely that sometimes, I wasn’t sure any of us could tell the difference anymore.

This book supports the conclusion I reached after reading McCurdy's I’m Glad My Mom Died— that no child can consent to fame and a life in the spotlight.

It's awful at times, but very readable with short, engaging chapters. Every time I have seen a child youtuber or those horrific child beauty pageants, I've wondered a lot of the same questions Franke considers in this book. Namely:

What are the lasting repercussions of growing up on camera, without any say in the matter? How does that constant exposure shape a child’s sense of self, their future relationships, their very understanding of privacy? And what does consent really look like when you’re a child, too afraid to say no?

The combination of living in a real life Truman Show and dealing with an abusive mother behind the scenes made Shari Franke's childhood a nightmare. Now, having escaped and spent some time with her thoughts, she looks back on what happened. Franke distances herself from her mother, Ruby Franke, by calling her by her first name, though she sees Jodi Hildebrandt as the true villain of her story.

I found it very interesting to read her conflicted thoughts on the idea of sharing one's story, which she notes is what Ruby Franke set out to do. On the one hand, sharing your story can be important and empowering, but what about when your story intersects with someone else’s? What about when telling your story violates the privacy of another who is part of that story?

Unlike Jennette McCurdy, I don't think Franke is quite removed enough from the events yet— or, perhaps, simply not quite old enough —to engage with all of the forces that enabled her mother. Occasionally, she touches on the role the LDS church played in what happened, but stops short of discussing how the culture it creates can allow abuses like this to take place. Though I guess it's hard to begrudge her clinging to her faith when so much else has been lost.

Please note that the book contains depictions of domestic abuse, grooming and sexual abuse.

[Mags C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the most compelling memoir I’ve ever read. The story was a little disjointed, and people seemed to enter and leave the narrative at confusing intervals. The author is clearly very young, and as much as I appreciate the therapeutic nature of telling one’s story, I think maybe a few more years of processing and better editing would have really served her well.

[Emma Griffioen · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In the end, ConneXions didn't change Ruby's tactics, it just gave her a manual to refine them."

This was so unbelievably heartbreaking. I'll post my full review in the morning!

[chan ☆]

really impressed by the strength of this young woman in telling her story

[Emma Briley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Shari is without a doubt a resilient and brave young woman and it was harrowing to read her story. I’m glad she got to share her experience, but I struggle to believe that this wouldn’t have been better as an essay or long-form article. It certainly felt like she was trying to reach the 300 page count with superfluous details and language.

I understand that she has full autonomy over what she chooses to share, but she left just enough breadcrumbs about her mother’s crimes that I was googling for actual information the second I finished reading. And while she chose to protect her siblings while not using their names, I wish she had just used pseudonyms rather than leaving them fully nameless, leaving some stories feeling strange and impersonal. Lastly, the timeline here was hard to follow. Specific dates were helpful to guide the story, but between them I struggled to determine if she was discussing time periods of days or months.

Strong girl!! Wish her the best!! Was happy to buy this book and contribute to her livelihood!! But can’t recommend reading it at all.

[Alyssa Goodrich · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not a review of the authors experience or the horrific circumstances of child abuse.

The author is clearly very young and the language and storytelling exemplifies that. I think this would be better told if she were to have written it in a few years. It is also very clearly written by a ghost writer.

The story felt like a high school essay where you have not met the minimum word count. It feels like she is constantly describing the scene without actually saying anything. She details her love of true crime earlier in the book but then vilifies the people who talk about her family’s story. So more time to separate herself from the events may have given her a sense of reflection.

I felt her team capitalized on the timing of the arrest and it seemed rushed

[emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

i don’t know anything about anything related to this book. but i don’t want to miss out

(reading for a substack post)
(review to come)

[Amelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

update: full review to come in the next few days, but this was absolutely phenomenal.

oh i have been WAITING for this. no one bother me on january 7th i will be VERY BUSY

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author clearly had a difficult upbringing, and I empathize, but this book felt like the first draft of someone’s college application essay. “Show, don’t tell,” I muttered to myself on nearly every page. Shari’s claims about her mother’s emotional abuse are repetitive and vague, leaving the reader confused about what actually happened in this family. All I got was that Ruby was strict about talking Shari talking to boys (annoying but regular LDS stufff), forced her to play a lot of piano, and always shoved a camera in their faces. That’s all terrible, to be clear, but it is not enough to fill a memoir. I was craving more color, more detail. It never materialized.

Another problem is Shari’s refusal to name or share information about (even under pseudonyms) four of her five siblings. What was the dynamic between all these kids and their parents? How old are all the siblings, and what are their personalities like? Did Ruby treat them all differently from one another? There was no detail whatsoever. I recognize that Shari wants to protect her siblings’ privacy, but then… she should not have written this book.

This may seem minor but I was also confused about who was paying her college tuition and room and board? What were the financial dynamics, in general, in this family? How did she form such a close relationship with her fake new Mom and Dad? What did her family think of them? Did her siblings have any relationships like that with surrogate parents?

Finally, nothing about the dad made sense. Where was he? What was his point of view? How exactly did she reconcile with him? What is happening?!??

This should not have been published as a memoir. With the right editor, it would have been a compelling essay.

[fabienne claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who grew up watching various family vloggers to fill the void my own imperfect family left, I needed to read this book to support Shari Franke and also to unpack what my child self had created these families (including the Frankes) to be. This book is a beacon of hope, a story of strength and resilience. There are a few important messages Shari Franke highlights:

1. Children don’t belong on social media.

2. Our fascination with true crime stories has to stop. We need to stop instrumentalizing victims’ pain for a few shocking images or a quick dose of: "Oh my lord, these poor souls." We must stop giving power to the evil and return it to those who have been beaten down.

3. This book was beautifully written. Shari Franke had something to say, and her team made sure her voice was heard.

What I found particularly striking in Shari’s story is how, despite her deep connection to the LDS faith, she was able to critically reflect on some of its shortcomings. Not everyone has the ability or opportunity to question their upbringing in such a profound way, and this really highlights some of the challenges of raising children within a highly demanding religion. In many cases, children raised in such environments can struggle to develop independent opinions, often prioritizing obedience over self-expression. It made me reflect on how much influence a faith like the LDS religion can have on shaping one’s worldview and decisions. Ruby and Jodi, like all of us, are products of their upbringing.

I am hopeful that this book will satisfy people's hunger for answers in this case, and that we can now truly let the family heal in peace. I also hope it opens the eyes of family vloggers who are exploiting their kids on a daily basis. It needs to stop.

[terri. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I already know I’ll get kickback for this review. To start I want to say that this is (a small portion) of her lived experience and I never want to take from that. I rate all the books I read so this will be no different.

Read this book in one setting. Very easy read. But I have some thoughts.

I felt like this book was teased to the public for so long as if it were going to hold the key to what happened. Instead, I was met with 50% of this book being about Jodi with just snippets of an emotionally abusive mother and, in my honest opinion, a checked out father.

Another thing I could tell, and I say this gently, is that she was a product of being a YouTube vlog family member. I say this because I feel like she does the same thing without truly realizing it. Forget about her social media presence - but this book does exactly what a YouTube vlog channel would do where it bread crumbs just enough to where you’re left with questions. And a lot of them. EXAMPLE: the way this book was teased to the public as a tell all but again, was mainly about Jodi for half the book and sprinkled in how Shari dealt with her mother BUT doesn’t go into what it was her mother had done outside of taking away electronics, making her leave the track team, etc.

Like I said, good book in the sense that it was written well and very easy to read. But I’ll be shocked to read reviews within the next month that don’t say the same thing. This book was a tease for those who followed the Franke family prior to the drama and even during and after the drama. I’ve only ever watched a handful of their videos in years past but only followed the saga once the courts and law enforcement got involved. So I’m left with a lot of questions.

[Hazel Scullin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shari is very brave for sharing her raw, vulnerable story. However, this book desperately needed another edit for continuity. I also felt some points weren’t given enough context (like why Shari and Chad went to different schools in the first place). I also think many questions were left unanswered (like what kind of relationship does she have with her mother’s family now). Of course she is under no obligation to answer these questions, but as a reader I felt there were many remaining questions that were left unaddressed.

[Meike · Rating 3 out of 5]

The kids of family vloggers are now old enough to publicly talk about their experiences, and these stories are not pretty: Shari Franke is the daughter of Ruby Franke, who ran the YouTube family channel "8 Passengers" about her life with six children. At the moment, Ruby is incarcerated for aggravated child abuse: For years, she has forced her offspring to perform in front of the camera, exploiting their turmoil for views, emotionally manipulating them, enforcing strict rules and punishments - until she teamed up with Jodi Hildebrandt, head of the counseling business ConneXions, a religiously infused NLP scheme that helped the two women rationalize even more gaslighting and abuse. What happened to Jodi, you ask? Jail. For aggravated child abuse.

Shari is now 22 years old, and her ghostwriters did a good job conveying her young voice and viewpoints - something tells me that in a few years, she might judge some aspects differently, and I'm here to learn about that as well. For instance, she largely exculpates her father Kevin, effectively putting him on the same level as the children: A naive, weak victim who was manipulated by his narcissistic wife. But this is a grown-ass man with a college degree responsible for protecting his kids - instead, he stood buy, remaining avoidant and passive. Ruby, on the other hand, gets all the anger: I'm not saying that Shari somehow has to forgive her, not at all, but her mother apparently has some serious psychological issues (that do not excuse anything, but still: why is the dad the pure saint and she's the pure witch?). Then, Ruby remains strangely attached to the Mormon church that played into her abuse (and her mom's issues), at the end even consulting a bishop about whether she would have to deal with her mom in the afterlife - I'm not saying that being religious is bad, but there's some space for reflection about how NLP and extreme religiosity in some cases connect.

What renders this book so important is that often, the media literacy of recipients is still not high enough to question digital content, especially when it's highly polished influencer videos designed to generate clicks and move product by creating the idea of a perfect family. It's not only that the parents ignore their children's rights, but the parasocial relationship between audience and creators keeps some viewers from even entertaining the thought that this might all be to the detriment of the kids: "But Ruby looks like such a good mother!" Yeah, she apparently looked like it, but even then, you had to look not very closely.

Great literature this is not, but this is not about aesthetics, it's about self-empowerment. So good for Shari that she gets her own voice back to set the record straight about her childhood.

[Cindy Pham]

a compelling story about narcissism, abuse, and cult behavior. smh @ mom saying she wouldn't give shari a shoutout for her youtube channel until shari gets 1k subs. girl be fr. it was interesting seeing how the mom tried to act innocent and ignorant with the court, knowing her behavior behind the scenes. i hope all the children find healing

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️ because fuck Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt.

[Bookishrealm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goodness! What a book....4.5

What Worked:The House of My Mother was an unexpected read. To be honest, I forgot that this book was even releasing this year, but I wanted to make sure I got to it this month. There isn't much that I can say about this book that Shari doesn't say for herself. I knew a little bit about the family based on information that was in the media regarding the case. However, I don't think that I realized what these kids experienced at the hands of someone who was supposed to be a provider and nurturer. And based on what I've learned about the laws in Utah, I highly doubt that Ruby will serve enough time to fit the crime.

This isn't the last book that we're going to see from kids of "mommy vloggers" or "family vloggers." Exploiting children for money and fame has detrimental consequences and the children who are forced to endure this abuse will not remain silent forever. It takes a certain type of strength to relive that trauma and expose it to the world in the hope that you gain control of the narrative. I hope that Shari gains some peace from this and is able to move forward with her life. While I do think that she has some reckoning to do with her church, especially as it pertains to abuse, this was a personal journey that Shari needed to take without the assistance or influence of anyone else. I was particularly proud of her for not sharing the stories of her siblings as she felt that was their own story to tell. Exploiting their experiences with abuse for this book would make her no different than Ruby.

Overall, this was an impactful and powerful read. Shari did an excellent job writing this book.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Harrowing read. I finished almost all of this memoir in one setting. Really appreciate Shari Franke’s powerful writing about her experience with her abusive mother. Franke does a great job highlighting the impact of psychological and emotional abuse/manipulation, how some adults will take advantage of vulnerable youth, and the how kids and teens are affected by being forced into the online influencer role against their will. As someone who’s a survivor of childhood emotional abuse myself, I respect and admire Franke for sharing her story. A lot of people make assumptions about parents based on what they portray to the outside world, when the reality can be quite different. It’s wild to think about that fakeness and covering up of abuse being magnified by millions through online platforms like YouTube and now, Instagram and TikTok.

Overall, I found the book accessibly-written and easy to fly through. I was deeply moved by how Franke found trusting, safe adults in her life, including a therapist and non-familial caring supports who supported her in her healing. There were times where the writing was a little choppy and I do wish Franke had reflected a bit more on the role of religious extremism and influencer culture in her family’s ordeals, however, The House of My Mother is still a compelling read.

[Terrie Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unimaginable. Shocking. Disturbing. Abusive...

As the oldest child of the Franke Family, Shari Franke shares her personal account of living her life through a camera lens. It began in 2015 when she was 11 years old. Everything was filmed every day for their popular YouTube channel, 8 Passengers. Her mom, Ruby, called the shots and built the channel's brand around raising six children for millions of subscribers to watch.

A picture-perfect family?

When things seem a little too perfect, doesn't it make you wonder?

Shari shares her perspective with respect and deep love for her family, and with hope for a better, quieter future. She withholds the names of her four youngest siblings, mentioning only Chad, the second-oldest. Shari is bright, intelligent, and savvy, but she's still just a kid amid the heart of it all.

Things get wonky, and eventually, all goes tragically off the rails.

The House of My Mother is a memoir that is not easy to read. Listening to the audiobook, with Shari's soft voice, helped. It felt like the voice of concern and reason, and it soothed many of the emotional edges for me. My heart broke for this brave young woman who voiced her concerns even when no one would listen!

4.25⭐

[Reggie Ann]

I truly don’t know how to write a review of this because I have no words. My jaw was constantly on the floor & tears filled my eyes many times. A heartbreaking & wild story told by such a resilient & brave woman.

[Nikola]

Bez oceny, bo uważam, że miałabym prawo oceniać wyłącznie styl, a to nie o to chodzi w tej książce.

[Jillian B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be Exhibit A for why “family vlogging” is a horrible idea. The author is the eldest daughter of Ruby Franke, the now infamous Utah mommy influencer who was arrested for abusing her children. This book depicts Shari’s childhood growing up simultaneously under Ruby’s thumb and in the public eye, and what it’s like to become a young adult after such a traumatic childhood.

The story was gripping, but what I appreciated most about it was Shari’s decision to limit the scope to her own story. The only sibling she refers to by name is her adult brother, and she reveals very few details on her younger siblings’ lives. Her choice to give them some privacy after a childhood where they were robbed of it is admirable. It’s clear that she is a very mature and empathetic young woman who, if she has children someday, will not follow in her mother’s footsteps.

This book was incredible and I finished it in a single day. You definitely don’t need to have watched the family’s YouTube videos to enjoy it (I’ve certainly never seen them and don’t plan to).

[Julie Craven · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to this book, but I found it disappointing. Super easy read, not boring but not exactly captivating. I don’t know how else to say this, so I don’t mean it as harsh as it sounds, but it feels like she was the wrong family member to write this story. There’s almost no new information, which while I understand her desire for privacy, “writing” a book that just repeats well known things isn’t exactly a great story. I’m also personally disappointed that she didn’t become aware that she is also brainwashed by the LDS Church, especially considering what happened with Derek & how SHE was punished and he wasn’t. She’s still young, so maybe she’ll get there one day. Overall, the book was fine, Shari seems like a sweet but naïve young woman, but the book as a whole lacked substance.

Edited to add/clarify: I don’t think most of you people realize Shari didn’t write this book. She had a ghost writer.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

REVIEW TO COME😭💔😭💔!!!!!!!!!

Wowza, I haven't had a five star read in a while😱!!!!!!!

[JaymeO · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful, disturbing, heartbreaking and raw!

Shari Frank’s is the eldest daughter of Ruby and Kevin Franke, and reluctant cast member of the hit YouTube show “8 Passengers.” The reality show that provided a glimpse into an LDS family living in Utah quickly gained 2.5 million subscribers. However, when Ruby joined ConneXions, the brain child of relationship coach Jodi Hildebrandt, viewers noticed that a very harsh disciplinary regime was enacted on the Franke children. Were viewers watching child abuse in real time? Shari exposes the truth behind Hildebrandt’s dangerous influence on her family and her quest to free them from a religious cult.

Having never heard of this case or the popular YouTube series before I read Shari’s memoir, I went into reading this book blind. Shari is an extremely intelligent 22 year old with incredible courage. As the eldest sibling, she attended college while her siblings were stuck at home in a nightmare. While completely abandoned by her family due to questioning Ruby’s behavior, she struggles to find her own way while also taking down Ruby and Jodi. As a newbie to this story, I didn’t learn very much about the actual YouTube show and felt compelled to watch an episode. Can you believe it’s still on YouTube?! I think my experience with the memoir would have been different if I had watched the show prior to reading it. However, the memoir is harrowing and extremely well-written for someone so young.

I listened to the audiobook which is read by the author. I highly recommend this format.

4.5/5 stars rounded down

Trigger warnings: child abuse, cults, grooming