Now this is a terrible book.
Written with all the wit and grace of a one-legged puppy, Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment reveals its intentions within the first chapter alone. This is not a book of striking prose or even serviceable but entertaining MOR lit. It is merely a cash cow, another mindless series designed to appeal to reluctant readers. It is, in a word, soulless.
Maximum Ride follows the adventures of six children, each of whom is the product of a genetic experiment: they are 98% human, 2% bird. These characters (each bequeathed with atrocious names that are supposed to be hip - Maximum, Nudge, Iggy, the Gasman, Fang, and Angel) spend 422 pages being chased by "Erasers" while trying to discover the secret of the School, the institution responsible for their mutations.
422 pages
for what could have been a novella, nay, an essay.
The stilted narration, provided by the "edgy" Maximum Ride, perhaps one of the most grating heroines in YA literature, is weakened by attempts to provide three-dimensionality to her character through her thoughtful analyses of those around her. Unfortunately, Patterson's creativity as a writer is strictly limited to half-baked and poorly described battle sequences, so Ride's introspection is relegated to heinous platitudes like, "It was like I had just lost my baby sister. And like I had lost my little girl" (p.25). (Guess what, Sister Girl... you did.)
Because Patterson has made a career out of writing awful books for adults, he has convinced himself that he knows how to write for teens, and, more horribly, like teens. In fact, his writing reads like an old man trying to sound young: "Angel stared and stared and stared at Jeb Batchelder" (p. 143) is writing worse than the output of most 2nd graders, and "Then, in a burst, she leaped up, sprang off the table, and practically crashed through the fire door. The Gasman was practically glued to her back." (p. 183) makes me practically tired of bad writing.
Worse than the one-dimensional characters and the freakishly awful writing are the countless pages devoted entirely to filler. Hundreds of trees could have been saved if Patterson had employed an editor. Here is a sample of go-nowhere events in the book:
• The gang sees a concert in Central Park.
• The gang enjoys Mrs. Fields' cookies.
• Two characters hang out with a bunch of hawks and learn cool flying tricks, all of which occurs while...
• ...Maximum spends about 8+ chapters with a family in a subplot that appears to tie into the primary story, but, in fact, does not.
• The majority of Chapter 103 is spent enumerating each character's orders in a fancy restaurant in great detail.
• Most of the book is devoted to "to-ing and fro-ing" - running from one location to another - with the express purpose of supplying a new setting for a battle.
The only upside to Maximum Ride is its appeal to reluctant readers... and I'm all for that. Avid readers, however, be warned. This book will take hours of your life that you will never get back.