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Impasta Syndrome: A Sentient Pasta Romance
"Absolutely absurd. I give it my full endorsement" - Recapping Romantasy Podcast
When I inadvertently add a sprinkle of enchanted salt to my spaghetti, I get the shock of my life. The pasta overflows, and it doesn't stop. Not until it morphs into the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
He says his name is Al Dente, and he's the last in a line of men cursed to be pasta. He also knows who I am...and comes ready to noodle.
When Al steps out of the pot and onto my kitchen floor, he shows me how good a man can be.
And how good a plate of pasta can make me feel.
I can't help it - I start making pasta every day.
And now I think I'm falling for a man made of noodles. Except...what happens when the salt runs out?
Part ridiculous romance, part fairy tale, all spice, with a romantic HEA. Make sure to follow Calla Myttie here on Amazon to receive an alert when the next ridiculously steamy story releases!
When I inadvertently add a sprinkle of enchanted salt to my spaghetti, I get the shock of my life. The pasta overflows, and it doesn't stop. Not until it morphs into the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
He says his name is Al Dente, and he's the last in a line of men cursed to be pasta. He also knows who I am...and comes ready to noodle.
When Al steps out of the pot and onto my kitchen floor, he shows me how good a man can be.
And how good a plate of pasta can make me feel.
I can't help it - I start making pasta every day.
And now I think I'm falling for a man made of noodles. Except...what happens when the salt runs out?
Part ridiculous romance, part fairy tale, all spice, with a romantic HEA. Make sure to follow Calla Myttie here on Amazon to receive an alert when the next ridiculously steamy story releases!
55 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 14, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
July 20, 2024
His name is Al Dente and he’s a made of spaghetti.
I will not be taking any questions at this time 🍝.
I will not be taking any questions at this time 🍝.
Read
August 12, 2024For science
Read
December 4, 2024For research purposes only
October 9, 2024
Why not?
Spaghetti might be the easiest thing YOU make in your kitchen, but know he puts in the work 🤭 Be his gnocchi girl and slurp up every last drop (okay I'm done 🤣)
Spaghetti might be the easiest thing YOU make in your kitchen, but know he puts in the work 🤭 Be his gnocchi girl and slurp up every last drop (okay I'm done 🤣)
October 11, 2024
Think shadow daddy wings and tentacles, except paskhetti. Yes, phantom spaghetti wings. Also, trauma dump levels of child abuse.
June 14, 2024
A surprisingly heartfelt story about a woman grieving the loss of her Nana and a very special pot of noodles. Noodles have never been so sexy! First off I was so excited the moment I saw the title and cover of this book. Pasta is life and I knew I had to read it immediately! So many noodle puns and I was living for every single one! Also his 💦 tastes a bit like sweet basil.
June 13, 2024
why did i love this so much??? this goofy, adorable, steamy novella is shockingly emotional and packs such a punch with how short it is. i loved this story!! i would love a full
length novel sometime
length novel sometime
June 14, 2024
What would happen if your favorite pasta came to life, especially in the form of the perfect man? Have you ever thought that noodles could be used for bondage? If the answer to these questions is yes, then you will enjoy this great read. It starts with a woman who is suffering from the death of her Nana. To honor her and remember her, she takes out her favorite pot and adds a pinch of the salt that her Nana had given her. Out comes the man of her dreams, his name is Al Dente. It was a beautiful story, full of pasta puns and spice. It was a super sweet story between the characters; I loved them both! I can't wait to see what other dish the author brings us in the next book.
August 9, 2024
you know what, this was a great time. completely absurd, but who among friends hasn't wished their pasta would turn into a hot italian man?
come for the premise, stay for the double penne-tration lmaoooo
come for the premise, stay for the double penne-tration lmaoooo
July 12, 2024
Did I just fall in love with…pasta? 👀
July 20, 2024
3.5!
Now…where can I buy this salt?
Now…where can I buy this salt?
March 29, 2026
I need to know the story…
And I wish the author dedicated it to all the girls who needed the Flying Spaghetti Monster 😅
Also Nonna is a freak 😉😂
And I wish the author dedicated it to all the girls who needed the Flying Spaghetti Monster 😅
Also Nonna is a freak 😉😂
June 13, 2024
Spaghetti hasn't been this sexy since Lady and Tramp shared a plateful in their movie!
The neighbor who had befriended twelve-year-old Jane has just died. Jane had called her Nonna, or grandmother. She had taught Jane her recipes. Jane’s mother died when Jane was a baby. Her father raised her, but her entire life he's told her she's unlovable and will never find love. Jane hasn't seen her father since she left home at age eighteen, but she has remained close to Nonna, visiting her every weekend.
With her dying breath, Nonna pressed a tiny glass bottle into Jane’s hands, telling her to guard it with her life and to tell no one about it. She told Jane it was salt and that just a pinch—even a single grain—was enough.
Returning home from the funeral, she decided to comfort herself by preparing Nonna's spaghetti recipe. She used some of the salt in the pasta water and thought she saw something in the water, but decided it was her imagination. She whispered, "I love you," as she added the spaghetti to the water. Again, she thought she saw something in the water. Leaning over the pot to look, a tear dropped into the water. The water starts to spark, and the sparks turn into a flame. Screaming, she stands back as the fire almost rises to the ceiling. As she watches, the spaghetti begins to rise vertically out of the pot. A creature begins to rise out of the pot; its hands grasp the handles of the pot as it steps out. Only it no longer looks like spaghetti. It's a man—a very handsome, very naked man!
His name is Al. Alberto Dente. He explains that his family has been cursed for many generations. They were pasta makers in Campania, Italy. An old woman had come to the door and asked his great-grandfather for some pasta to eat. He explained that he'd be happy to feed her, but the pasta wouldn't be ready for several hours. She didn't believe him, and when he showed her the dough, she asked to eat it anyway. He was afraid that since it had raw eggs, it might make her ill. If she'd just wait, he'd feed her when the dough was ready. She told him she got cranky when she didn't eat, and since he withheld food from a starving woman, she was putting a curse on him and his entire line. Then she consigned him to the container of salt he kept on his worktable. His salty form can only come to life when used with pasta. His earthly visit ends when the pasta water is gone. He can choose to go to heaven, but doing so ensures his entire line will disappear with him. Then she smashed the container. The only salt that is left is in the tiny bottle Nonna passed to Jane.
Jane stumbled onto the first step to ending the curse. Al tells her what she must do to end the curse. Can she do it?
I received an ARC of this book from the author via Booksprout. I am voluntarily leaving this review.
The neighbor who had befriended twelve-year-old Jane has just died. Jane had called her Nonna, or grandmother. She had taught Jane her recipes. Jane’s mother died when Jane was a baby. Her father raised her, but her entire life he's told her she's unlovable and will never find love. Jane hasn't seen her father since she left home at age eighteen, but she has remained close to Nonna, visiting her every weekend.
With her dying breath, Nonna pressed a tiny glass bottle into Jane’s hands, telling her to guard it with her life and to tell no one about it. She told Jane it was salt and that just a pinch—even a single grain—was enough.
Returning home from the funeral, she decided to comfort herself by preparing Nonna's spaghetti recipe. She used some of the salt in the pasta water and thought she saw something in the water, but decided it was her imagination. She whispered, "I love you," as she added the spaghetti to the water. Again, she thought she saw something in the water. Leaning over the pot to look, a tear dropped into the water. The water starts to spark, and the sparks turn into a flame. Screaming, she stands back as the fire almost rises to the ceiling. As she watches, the spaghetti begins to rise vertically out of the pot. A creature begins to rise out of the pot; its hands grasp the handles of the pot as it steps out. Only it no longer looks like spaghetti. It's a man—a very handsome, very naked man!
His name is Al. Alberto Dente. He explains that his family has been cursed for many generations. They were pasta makers in Campania, Italy. An old woman had come to the door and asked his great-grandfather for some pasta to eat. He explained that he'd be happy to feed her, but the pasta wouldn't be ready for several hours. She didn't believe him, and when he showed her the dough, she asked to eat it anyway. He was afraid that since it had raw eggs, it might make her ill. If she'd just wait, he'd feed her when the dough was ready. She told him she got cranky when she didn't eat, and since he withheld food from a starving woman, she was putting a curse on him and his entire line. Then she consigned him to the container of salt he kept on his worktable. His salty form can only come to life when used with pasta. His earthly visit ends when the pasta water is gone. He can choose to go to heaven, but doing so ensures his entire line will disappear with him. Then she smashed the container. The only salt that is left is in the tiny bottle Nonna passed to Jane.
Jane stumbled onto the first step to ending the curse. Al tells her what she must do to end the curse. Can she do it?
I received an ARC of this book from the author via Booksprout. I am voluntarily leaving this review.
September 17, 2024
This one had a storyline that flowed better than the rest. It just didn't grab me as well as the others did.
June 22, 2024
Impasta Syndrome is a short and super-steamy, instalove, completely absurd, opposites-attract, girl gets her pasta man romance. This story was hysterical, smutty, and a completely unexpected joy. Jane is a somewhat plain girl mourning the loss of her Nonna. She makes her pasta and uses the special salt Nonna left her. Crying into the pot, a hunky man appears from the noodles...and his name is Alberto Dente... His family has been cursed, and only true love and a few events can break it. The chemistry was hot, the pasta puns were hysterical, and the ending was very happy. I loved this silly, feel-good romance so much!.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
June 13, 2024
This was so cute. And deep. I was not expecting all the feels and emotions. Jane's life is tough but Nonna (a neighbor she adopted as a grandmother figure) leaves behind her secret salt. A small memory trinket she thinks. BUT with a dash of good ol' Italian magic and a very delicious spaghetti recipe it's so much more! Al Dente comes to life and his mission is to make Jane fall for his noodles... and him. There's some light noodle bondage and I love to see it. Pasta fans will love this charming and silly love story. Calla definitely tossed some red chili flakes in this one too. *wink wink*
*ARC Review, all opinions are my own.
*ARC Review, all opinions are my own.
June 30, 2024
3.5!!!
This was more plot driven than I thought it would’ve been. It’s got a good balance of cute romance, cringey love, sexy writing, and actual plot. Haha.
There’s character development. Which we love.
There’s loss and fear of rejection. Grief and strained family relationships. Cursed families for generations.
It’s something I couldn’t have even dreamt up. But the world needed a palette cleanser like this.
The sexy scenes are nice! Noodles? Filling you up everywhere?? Geez. Sign me up lol.
Definitely worth the read!
This was more plot driven than I thought it would’ve been. It’s got a good balance of cute romance, cringey love, sexy writing, and actual plot. Haha.
There’s character development. Which we love.
There’s loss and fear of rejection. Grief and strained family relationships. Cursed families for generations.
It’s something I couldn’t have even dreamt up. But the world needed a palette cleanser like this.
The sexy scenes are nice! Noodles? Filling you up everywhere?? Geez. Sign me up lol.
Definitely worth the read!
July 22, 2024
A little disappointed that the phrase "touched by his noodly appendage" was not used a single time in this story.
Noodle man's name is Al Dente. I can't help but hear Linda Belcher's mom's voice every time Jane says his name. Aaaalllll. It's full of pasta puns that made me smile. The story is sweet, so I get why people liked it more than I did. It was a fun story, just not one I'll be thinking about after I hit the post button.
Noodle man's name is Al Dente. I can't help but hear Linda Belcher's mom's voice every time Jane says his name. Aaaalllll. It's full of pasta puns that made me smile. The story is sweet, so I get why people liked it more than I did. It was a fun story, just not one I'll be thinking about after I hit the post button.
June 13, 2024
A really quick read, smutty with some humour and a bit of a plot. Great for a 1-2 hour binge during lunch or just before bed.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
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June 14, 2024
Listen, the last thing I thought I'd be lust after was pasta, but apparently I am greatly mistaken and I would now like a very hot Italian man to just magically come out of my pasta 😂
August 4, 2024
did this ruin one of my favorite foods for me? imPASTAble
2.5☆
2.5☆
August 5, 2024
This was absurdly creative! The punny noodle references were *chef’s kiss*.
August 7, 2024
The only thing I liked about this book is that his name is Al Dente
February 13, 2026
Impasta Syndrome by Calla Myttie
⭐⭐⭐⭐ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Novella * Humour * Sentient * Tentacle-Like * Magic * Paranormal * Fated Mates * Cheating (by ex) * Neglectful Parent * Curse * Fairy Tale * Sitophilia * 55 pages
With Valentine’s tomorrow, I wanted to find y’all a feral read that fit the theme.
Some of y’all are celebrating this “holiday” (is it even a holiday?), going on restaurant dates, maybe even ending up at an Italian restaurant. See my logic? Therefore, I present to you: Sentient Pasta Romance.
His name? Alberto Dente.
You know… Al Dente.
Firm. As your pasta and man should be.
Don’t get your spaghetti tangled, because this story gets SAUCY.
Al’s forefather was cursed by a witch and turned into salt. When a specific batch of that salt is used in cooking, he can transform into a man who is absolutely ravenous to… noodle with the cook. Through magic (and vibes, apparently), they can have children, and when those children come of age, the curse transfers. Generational pasta trauma.
Our lucky girl receives a tiny vial of special salt from her dying neighbour, and voilà! she summons her spaghetti soulmate who has apparently been waiting for her. She changes one small thing in the recipe, which starts breaking the curse. But can she complete part two and keep him forever?
After all… she’s the marinara to his heart.
Things escalate quickly. He’s all man… but with some impressive magical upgrades. Think additional spaghetti-style appendages with a mind of their own that penne-trate her every holes at once! Yes. That happens. Repeatedly. He also disappears occasionally, only to be summoned again, because a girl’s gotta eat.
With her salt supply dwindling, will she finally be the gnocchi girl to break the curse once and for all? Or will he pasta-way into the nether?
Read it to find out.
Pasta la vista, baby.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Novella * Humour * Sentient * Tentacle-Like * Magic * Paranormal * Fated Mates * Cheating (by ex) * Neglectful Parent * Curse * Fairy Tale * Sitophilia * 55 pages
With Valentine’s tomorrow, I wanted to find y’all a feral read that fit the theme.
Some of y’all are celebrating this “holiday” (is it even a holiday?), going on restaurant dates, maybe even ending up at an Italian restaurant. See my logic? Therefore, I present to you: Sentient Pasta Romance.
His name? Alberto Dente.
You know… Al Dente.
Firm. As your pasta and man should be.
Don’t get your spaghetti tangled, because this story gets SAUCY.
Al’s forefather was cursed by a witch and turned into salt. When a specific batch of that salt is used in cooking, he can transform into a man who is absolutely ravenous to… noodle with the cook. Through magic (and vibes, apparently), they can have children, and when those children come of age, the curse transfers. Generational pasta trauma.
Our lucky girl receives a tiny vial of special salt from her dying neighbour, and voilà! she summons her spaghetti soulmate who has apparently been waiting for her. She changes one small thing in the recipe, which starts breaking the curse. But can she complete part two and keep him forever?
After all… she’s the marinara to his heart.
Things escalate quickly. He’s all man… but with some impressive magical upgrades. Think additional spaghetti-style appendages with a mind of their own that penne-trate her every holes at once! Yes. That happens. Repeatedly. He also disappears occasionally, only to be summoned again, because a girl’s gotta eat.
With her salt supply dwindling, will she finally be the gnocchi girl to break the curse once and for all? Or will he pasta-way into the nether?
Read it to find out.
Pasta la vista, baby.
February 18, 2026
OMG- Having some fun today! Reading Inpasta Syndrome with a buddy because well, we just haven’t done that in a while. After her grandma passes, Bella decides to cook the passed down recipe for spaghetti. A single tear drops into the pot when preparing the meal, which is just enough to break the curse!
Al Dente has come to life and if he falls in love with Bella he can remain human. It is a good thing that once alive, Al comes with an insatiable need. We can think of some very spicy ways to use his thick hot noodle dick!
Some Best lines:
“When I saw you taste that noodle with your pretty pink tongue.” (which noodle?- The hot noodle dick? LOL)
Al’s tongue is toying with the shell of my ear. “I can’t” I breathe.
Al pulls back, looking like he’s holding his breath. “Is it your cycle? I don’t mind Bella” (UM- is this a pun for spaghetti sauce?)
Finally, what feels like eons later, my body finally comes down from its high. It falls softly into what feels like a bed of feathers, but I realize is soft, swollen noodles. Vaguely, I catch the scent of sauce, rich an buttery. Or is it AL? (I just may be jealous here)
I fell in love with Al in his pasta form. I know I’ll love him as a man, too, but I’ll have to do some grieving over the noodle I fell for. When I look up at Al, I can see the hunger in his eyes. And it’s not for food. “I want you Bella”- “Then take me AL!” 😃 (Flashing back to Married with Children!)
Al Dente has come to life and if he falls in love with Bella he can remain human. It is a good thing that once alive, Al comes with an insatiable need. We can think of some very spicy ways to use his thick hot noodle dick!
Some Best lines:
“When I saw you taste that noodle with your pretty pink tongue.” (which noodle?- The hot noodle dick? LOL)
Al’s tongue is toying with the shell of my ear. “I can’t” I breathe.
Al pulls back, looking like he’s holding his breath. “Is it your cycle? I don’t mind Bella” (UM- is this a pun for spaghetti sauce?)
Finally, what feels like eons later, my body finally comes down from its high. It falls softly into what feels like a bed of feathers, but I realize is soft, swollen noodles. Vaguely, I catch the scent of sauce, rich an buttery. Or is it AL? (I just may be jealous here)
I fell in love with Al in his pasta form. I know I’ll love him as a man, too, but I’ll have to do some grieving over the noodle I fell for. When I look up at Al, I can see the hunger in his eyes. And it’s not for food. “I want you Bella”- “Then take me AL!” 😃 (Flashing back to Married with Children!)
February 21, 2025
Star rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
A sentient pasta romance? It obviously needed to be read for science.
I didn’t quite know what to expect from this novella and I was pleasantly surprised. It was more plot driven than I anticipated and although the story was outlandish, it was interesting enough to keep me reading.
The pasta puns and tie ins were funny and I found Al Dente’s character to be sweet and charming. I mean really, who wouldn’t love a man who smells of butter and oregano? Not to mention his very useful noodle appendages. 👀
The story was cute, fun, and funny. I look forward to reading more of Calla Myttie’s work.
POV: single, first person
Tropes: he falls first, instalove
Kinks: all holes, “good girl”
Triggers: childhood abuse, neglect
Spice rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
A sentient pasta romance? It obviously needed to be read for science.
I didn’t quite know what to expect from this novella and I was pleasantly surprised. It was more plot driven than I anticipated and although the story was outlandish, it was interesting enough to keep me reading.
The pasta puns and tie ins were funny and I found Al Dente’s character to be sweet and charming. I mean really, who wouldn’t love a man who smells of butter and oregano? Not to mention his very useful noodle appendages. 👀
The story was cute, fun, and funny. I look forward to reading more of Calla Myttie’s work.
POV: single, first person
Tropes: he falls first, instalove
Kinks: all holes, “good girl”
Triggers: childhood abuse, neglect
June 17, 2024
loved it !! love Jane/Bella and Alberto Dente... this is their story... a fast paced cursed love story... Jane is fighting grief, her nonna has just died ...she makes a pot of spaghetti with the vial of salt that nonna gave her , with the instructions to always keep it safe.. Al and his family has been cursed for generations, to be pasta men but, only for as long as the noodles cook, then, gone until next time or until the salt runs out... he appears for Jane/Bella ... and this is their story... so good !!! with a heart breaking twist...
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
June 22, 2024
Sweet, simple, & smutty. If you’re looking for a quick read with a golden retriever MMC, this is the book for you. Jane is grieving the loss of her long-time neighbor when a seemingly useless gift left for her in the will brings her the man of her dreams. This is an adorable story. I loved that the author was able to have fun with the concept of pasta as a boyfriend, puns and all. I think the only thing I needed a little more of was maybe a bit more description of how the pasta was attached. Is it wings? Like attached to his back? I need to know.
November 8, 2024
Exactly but nothing at all what I expected. Listen, I am no stranger to strange sentient romances and I LOVE them, so when I saw pasta, romance, sentient all in one, you bet I grabbed and devoured this book. But the little twist, the moment or three of WAIT, is she just going to get and let, NO, he couldn't have, did he..STOP!! WAIT!!! Is she really going to just, for it to all play out exactly how you expect...yeah it really did..LOL
So yes, you get a silly book, with silly spicy scenes cooked to the perfect amount of bite with softness here.
So yes, you get a silly book, with silly spicy scenes cooked to the perfect amount of bite with softness here.
June 11, 2024
Alberto Dente's family has had a curse on them for generations. The only way they can leave the spirit realm is with a boiling pasta pot and special salt.
Jane has only had one person love her. Nonna was more of a grandmother than just a neighbor. When Nonna died, she gave Jane her salt vial and told her to guard it with her life.
Magical, curses, and add some steamy kink.
I received a copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Jane has only had one person love her. Nonna was more of a grandmother than just a neighbor. When Nonna died, she gave Jane her salt vial and told her to guard it with her life.
Magical, curses, and add some steamy kink.
I received a copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews