A Leg to Stand On: An Amputee's Walk Into Motherhood

by Colleen Haggerty

When Colleen Haggerty lost her leg in an accident during her senior year of high school, she could have retreated from life and let her disability become her defining quality and no one would have blamed her for it. Instead, she went the opposite way. In the years following her accident, Haggerty explored her physical world with vigor, testing the limits of her body by joining a ski team, playing with a co-ed soccer team, and taking up kayaking and backpacking. She also tested the limits of her heart, pursuing love and passion with restless men. In A Leg to Stand On, Haggerty recounts her life as a disabled woman, from redefining herself as a young woman after tragedy fierce and able, but haunted by hard choices and suppressed grief to choosing marriage and motherhood. That choice comes at great cost to the physical freedom Haggerty has fought for, but ultimately she redemption, fulfillment, and self-acceptance in the bargain. No one will read this book without being inspired to accept their past and create the future they always wanted."

Genres: Memoir

244 pages, Paperback

First published November 11, 2014

Reviews

[Karol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, my heart ❤️.
Okay, one of my books that I have marked up with post-its, pen and highlighter.
Chapter 11 had me in heated tears. I was most wrapped up in Chapters 17-25.
Jam-packed with self-discovery, resilience, and an independent spirit. Colleen shares her strength to move internal mountains for the sake of self, her little family and the man who drove the car that severed her leg.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm intrigued by parenting memoirs and disability memoirs, and was looking forward to this rare blending of the two. With a title and cover that were clever and a bit humorous, I was expecting something different than what I found.

This is a memoir of pain (both physical and mental) and grief. The author explains and examines and works through her pain and grief throughout the decades. That is the story. It's not a memoir for an audience, told with wit and humor (the way I like my memoirs). This memoir is Haggerty's therapy. I related to some of it, but mostly felt I was listening in on a therapy session.

[Gretchen Staebler · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling, well-written read. I deeply admire the author for bravely writing the hard truths of her life following an accident that radically changed her young life. The proof of a good memoirist is that she doesn't shy away from writing what may repel some readers. All of us hold within us stories we don't want to look at ourselves, let alone share with the world. But telling those stories gives not only ourselves the chance to heal, but gives the reader an opening to look at and forgive that which smoulders within themselves. I was rooting for the author the whole way. I wish she had sought a good therapist sooner, but that was not her story. That she finally got help and began a journey of healing will guide someone else's survival story.

[Frances · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a lot of respect for someone so willing to reveal their emotions and the truth about the path to forgiveness. The reader experiences it all right along with the author as she vividly describes her accident and the physical and emotional pain that followed. I also grew up Catholic and struggled with the description of some of her choices, but understand them as important parts of her journey. Overall it is a powerful example of how one can respond to circumstances and become a whole and fulfilled person. I did find a few unanswered questions related to her relationship with her mother but she could have chosen to leave that out as it is not the main focus of the story.

[Carrie-Anne O'Driscoll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Colleen Haggerty has written THE inspirational book for the ages. Not because she lost a leg in a car accident and not because she overcame the physical challenges incorporated with that event but because she had the courage to share her emotional trials with the world. It's more of a stigma today to have emotions than a physical disability.
Beginning her journey in 1979 when she loses her leg trying to get assistance for her siblings in the ice and snow, she found herself as a 17 year old young women having to rethink everything she believed to be true. As a middle child in a large family she'd already felt as if she blended into the background. After the amputation she felt that it became the definition of "Colleen." She goes in depth into her thoughts and feelings about the reactions of society to her new disability. She felt that new expectations had been placed on her and in a real sense, they had. Haggerty feel into a well of despondency until she decided to define her disability and not the other way around.
She began skiing! Then she tackled soccer and hiking. She finally made it through college. She learned to love and lose and made same relationship mistakes that we all do. She had hard decisions to make that she felt she MUST make due to her amputation and she had to learn to live with them. Then, her life changed when she met Mark.
She'd quit looking for love and admitted to herself that it was acceptable for her to never marry. She could be an independent, fully functioning woman with one leg and no husband. As she said, when we stop looking we find exactly what we need. After a whirlwind courtship, Mark and Colleen were married and six months later they discovered that they were to be new parents. This is the scariest and most amazing news on earth for a "normal" person. Imagine this news knowing that you couldn't run after your toddler when he/she was in the street. You couldn't move quickly enough to catch them when they fell. However, together she and Mark tackled this challenge as well. Twice. Her descriptions of the trials and triumphs are amazing. You find yourself crying with her but even more often cheering with her.
I believe that she overcame her greatest challenge when she finally came to terms with and forgave the man who'd caused her life change. A man named Harvey had been living with the same pain, self doubt and self blame that she was to the point that he'd never traveled that section of interstate again. She initiated her first contact with him due to anger. She'd planned her blame session out in exacting detail. Then, she spoke to him. He didn't shirk responsibility. He embraced it. He told her time and again, "I'd give you my leg if I could." Their meeting began with an obligatory hug and ended with a genuine hug. Over the years they spoke on the phone. She no longer blamed him but he still blamed himself. Twenty seven years later, they met in person again. He met and stayed with her family. Her children accepted him. Her husband accepted him. In a final leap of healing, the two found themselves at the same dented guardrail that had claimed her leg over a quarter of a century before. They cried together and let the pain of that moment go forever. Together.
It's so easy to hold onto to blame, hatred, and anger. Haggerty did this for a long time. She simply had to be ready to heal. When she was she shared that forgiveness and healing with the cause of the pain. Not many people can do that.
She worried that she wouldn't be enough for her children. She knows now that she has been a larger than life hero not only to them but the world she shared this emotional story with. Those kids never need Shaq or anyone else. They had their parents! Yes, both Mark and Colleen are inspirational and noteworthy for their achievements without ever trying to do anything but live. That's an amazing thing!
This is a hard read at points but worth every hearty tugging page. You'll never even consider putting it down. You know by the fact that she wrote it that she came through it but you must know how. You must walk the road with her to know how truly inspiring she is. This is a book I'll be lending out for many years to come when I see people begin to sink into despair. It'll lift them back up in no time. A highly recommended 5 star read for everyone. Male. Female. Young or old. Go buy it. Now.

I won this book through a Goodreads giveaway.

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

A poignant and powerful memoir about a woman who loses her leg in an accident as a teenager. Her identity shattered, Colleen struggles to adapt and begins to doubt whether she can achieve her dream of being a mother.

Colleen comes to term with her disability with grace instead of self-pity. She tackles romance, makes difficult life decisions, and excels at skiing and hiking.

The true challenge comes when she becomes a mother, with the realization that she literally cannot keep up with her son. For me, this was the most powerful part of the book, not the aftermath of the accident. The challenges of early motherhood have been explored in many memoirs, but here there is the added difficulty of a physical disability. The pregnancy itself is a challenge, because weight gain interferes with the fit and function of her prosthetic leg. An especially poignant moment comes when her son realizes for the first time that his mother isn't like all the other mothers, and names the amputated appendage a "baby leg."

I also was moved by Colleen's return to the site of the accident, both with a therapist and later with the driver of the car that hit her. Even more astonishing to me is that Colleen moved to the town near where the accident occurred, meaning she continued to drive that route hundreds of times throughout her life.

She is a very strong, impressive woman, and hers is an inspiring story.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this memoir. It's always interesting to hear of someone else's life and their thought processes about the things that happen to them, and how they feel about the people in their lives. It's a good book, and Colleen Haggerty is a fascinating person. She begins a new life of adjustment and emotion when she's seventeen and loses her leg in an accident. It's a honest story, as she tells what she went through and the many heartbreaks and emotions and anger that she deals with as she lives her life. It's a beautiful story as she finds love and starts a family. It's hard not to shed a tear with all she's been through, but it's a happy ending as she matures and accepts who she is, and realizes how blessed she is with her family. It's inspiring. Thanks to the author and goodreads for providing the free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

[Kristin (Kritters Ramblings) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Check out the full review at Kritters Ramblings

A moving memoir that takes you into one woman's life before and after a tragedy that completely changes her life. Colleen Haggerty found herself in an accident where she loses one of her legs and each day after the accident she learns something about herself and how the accident didn't just change her physical life but also her emotional life.

I absolutely appreciated that Colleen included a few moments before the accident and the accident itself - although the fact that she was awake for most of it was completely scary to read. It helped the reading experience to know her life before the accident during and then knowing that most of it would be after the accident.

[Maggie Eisenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a rough ride and very well written. The writer has made choices in her life that made me not like her very much and it was hard to drum up sympathy for everything she did in coping with her loss of a limb but she is unflinchingly honest in her recounting and while she gives explanations she doesn't seem to expect them to be honored as excuses. The fact that she had a happy ending to her story in some ways seems more than she deserved and yet she certainly worked to get there and the lessons learned along the way are ones we could all benefit from, especially if we can learn them vicariously rather than have to experience what she suffered.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this memoir. I found myself glued to the pages and read it in a few hours.

College Haggerty writes with raw honesty, which I found to be rather engaging. I recommend A Leg To Stand On.