Bite Somebody

Bite Somebody #1

by Sara Dobie Bauer

“Do you want to be perfect?”

That’s what Danny asked Celia the night he turned her into a vampire. Three months have passed since, and immortality didn’t transform her into the glamorous, sexy vamp she was expecting, but left her awkward, lonely, and working at a Florida gas station. On top of that, she’s a giant screw-up of an immortal, because the only blood she consumes is from illegally obtained hospital blood bags.

What she needs to do—according to her moody vampire friend Imogene—is just … bite somebody. But Celia wants her first bite to be special, and she has yet to meet Mr. Right Bite. Then, Ian moves in next door. His scent creeps through her kitchen wall and makes her nose tingle, but insecure Celia can’t bring herself to meet the guy face-to-face.

When she finally gets a look at Ian’s cyclist physique, curly black hair, and sun-kissed skin, other parts of Celia tingle, as well. Could he be the first bite she’s been waiting for to complete her vampire transformation? His kisses certainly have a way of making her fangs throb.

Just when Celia starts to believe Ian may be the fairy tale ending she always wanted, her jerk of a creator returns to town, which spells nothing but trouble for everyone involved.


Winner of the 2017 Imadjinn Award for Best Paranormal Romance!


"Witty banter and hot sexy-times make BITE SOMEBODY sparkle in all the right ways."
—Beth Cato, author of The Clockwork Dagger series

"Bite Somebody is the Pretty in Pink of vampire stories; fun, self-consciously retro, and not afraid to be goofy. I'll never get the phrase 'Woodsy BO' out of my head. Sara Dobie Bauer knows how to keep a reader smiling."
—Christopher Buehlman, author of Those Across the River

"BITE SOMEBODY is sexy, funny, and A-positively alive with colorful characters. Celia is perfectly imperfect and insecure; adorable sexy human, Ian, sparkles more than any undead ever could; and Imogene is the kind of bad-influence friend we all need in our lives. Bursting with tasty giggles, devilish guffaws, and swoony sighs, BITE SOMEBODY is an absolute pleasure to sink your teeth into."
—Jennifer Scott, author of The Accidental Book Club

Genres: Vampires, Paranormal, Romance, Urban Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, Fantasy, Humor

285 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 21, 2016

About the author

Bestselling romance author.
Green witch.
Feminist. Pro-choice. Anti-censorship.
Timothee Chalamet freak.
Horror movie aficionado.
Vampire mermaid in a past life.

Sara Dobie Bauer somehow survived her party-hard college years at Ohio University to earn a creative writing degree. She lives with her precious Pit Bull in Northeast Ohio, although she’d really like to live in a Tim Burton film.

Reviews

[Christopher Buehlman · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've read my last two novels, you'll guess I prefer my vampires brutal, mean and unrepentant. That's true. Except when it isn't. I didn't expect to enjoy Ms. Bauer's novel because it just didn't sound like my cup of sake, and I told her as much when she asked me to review it. Guess what! I had fun reading it. Big fun. I feel a little embarrassed here, like I'm a Harley Davidson guy giggling and riding a moped down the beach, hoping nobody from my club sees me. But it's a damn fine moped, and I forbid you to mock me, O dark lord of gothic evil, until you man-bun your bottle-black locks, put on your Vespa goggles and climb on. Just try not to like it. I dare you. Bite Somebody is the Pretty in Pink of vampire stories; fun, self-consciously retro and not afraid to be goofy. I’ll never get the phrase 'Woodsy BO' out of my head. Kudos to Sara Dobie Bauer for knowing how to keep even a cranky old bastard of a reader smiling, and five stars just for the balls on her for asking me to read a chick-lit vampire book.

[Lauren Stoolfire · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free ecopy of this novel from the author in a Facebook contest.

Three months ago Celia was turned into a vampire. However, she didn't become the glamorous and sexy vamp that she was expecting. She's exactly the same as she was before (awkward and lonely) and working the night shift at a gas station. Of course, now she can't go out in the sunlight, she's immortal, and she drinks blood. Her vampire therapist, and her vampire friend, Imogene, want to her to have her first bite, rather than drinking bagged blood from a sketchy contact at the hospital. Celia wants her first bite to be special and meaningful rather than just anyone. Her new neighbor has her nose and new senses tingling - his blood smells delicious - but she's too insecure to actually go out and meet him. When she finally does catch sight of Ian, her neighbor, she finds herself very attracted to him, and not just for his blood and her first bite to complete her vampire transformation. Things are finally looking up and Celia might have found her prince charming, when Danny, the creep her changed her into a vampire and then left her high and dry, has just returned to town.

Bite Somebody by Sara Dobie Bauer was light, fun vampire paranormal New Adult romance novel. Aside from the vampirism Celia is an every girl and pretty easy to relate to over the course of the story. Although, she could sometimes be an insecure sad sack, but her relationship with Ian is pretty sweet regardless of the fact that her fangs sometimes have a mind of their own around him and she thinks about drinking his blood all of the time. The characterizations are what make this novel, less so the mythology surrounding vampires. It's a cute and funny novel of self-discovery for Celia, even though she's already dead. Overall, Bite Somebody is a little too New Adult for me, but I expect you'll particularly enjoy this novel is you like Twilight (which makes a cameo in the story) and making fun of it at the same time.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Thoughts - 5 out of 5 Unicorns - I loved it!!!
***I choose what I read and review based on what intrigues me!! I bought this book because I wanted to start the series from the beginning, but no one tells me what to think, feel, or write about any book!

The cover is cartoonish, but I really like it!

This is the first book in the series, and my first time reading Sara’s work! This book is for adults only due to the murder, mayhem, and steamy content.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting to love this book like I do! It was perfect with its “There’s Something About Mary” humor vampire style where everything that can go wrong does but making you laugh along the way. This is how Celia and Ian’s relationship is. I love all the 80s and 90s movie references too! There is definitely some mystery with the deaths, but I don’t want to give anything away. It was an awesome ending, but also left you an ending that makes you want to read the next book even more!

Sara does a fantastic job pulling you into Celia’s life and her story! I loved every page and couldn’t put it down!

I highly recommend this book to vampire fans who want a humorous story about an awkward new vampire! Off to read book 2!!! I can’t wait!

[Ona · Rating 5 out of 5]

One would think the vampire genre has been beaten, flogged and simply has too much going on. I mean, after Twilight, no one even wants to hear the words vampire fiction, because it will induce a gagging sensation with copious amounts of eye rolling, and grumbling of how said genre really needs to be shelved and hidden, unless Bram Stoker has vampired himself out of the grave. (Look, I made a new word!)

However, Sara's "Bite Somebody" has brought the genre back to life (no pun intended) and is a breath of fresh air! This book is a recommendation to all who previously enjoyed the vampire fiction genre, before Twilight decided that fairy vampires were necessary, and it would be a brilliant introduction to those who haven't explored vampires thoroughly.

It's funny, it's refreshing and it's a must read!

[Mara · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re like me and are kind of over the vampire craze, I have news for you, Bite Somebody is WELL worth the read! It’s fresh, it’s different, with great characters that you can’t help but love, and not just the main cast. It’s funny, enchanting and you fall in love with the romance between our awkward Vampiress, Celia, and her beautiful surfer boy, Ian. It’s the less than perfect and less than exciting undead experience that really make this original and interesting story that you can dive head first into. Don’t hesitate to pick this up, because I can tell you that when it ends you’ll be clamoring for more!

[Anna Kaling · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can you give any less than 5/5 for a book with:
- a character named after a penis wig;
- farting couches;
- reviews of different blood types;
- ralphing tips for premature ejaculation;
- a hot surfer dude with floofy hair.

You just can't.

Celia is a newbie vampire and she needs to bite somebody. She knows exactly who she wants to bite: Ian, the cute surfer dude who lives next door. He smells of woodsy BO, which is a good thing. Celia sometimes stands at the wall separating their apartments and claws it rapturously while she sniffs him. This is a character I immediately got on board with.

Ian has floofy hair and he’s tall and slim and always says what he thinks. I like Ian.

Bite Somebody is hilarious, cute, light, and written with a wicked sense of humour that I love. Highly recommended!

[Dyrk Ashton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed louder and more often reading Bite Somebody than with any book I've picked up in years. Quick-witted, sharp, scary fun, with unforgettable, wonderfully well-rounded characters and snappy dialogue. Forget it's paranormal romance if you must, Dobie Bauer's Bite Somebody is a perfect summer read guaranteed to please anyone with a sense of humor and a pulse (unless you're a vampire, then you'll like it even more).

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bite Somebody has that rare quality of being filled with heat but also having the ability to make you genuinely laugh all while keeping hold of an enthralling story with characters who jump off the page. I devoured this book and loved every second of it.

[Jacqueline Rohrbach · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

My cold heart is cynical as hell, so I’m generally not hopeful about the lasting potential of couples after I close most romance books. I didn’t feel that way after reading Bite Somebody. Actually, I was optimistic for Ian and Celia and saw their love lasting well past the last chapter.

Ian and Celia communicate their emotions, needs, and sexual desires. There is a journey that made me want the characters to stay together. They cuddle. They share hobbies. They make terrible decisions together.

And there’s actual sweetness and tenderness in their romance. I’ve read a lot of romance novels where that’s not the case. Bite Somebody gave me a relationship I wanted to see progress and people I truly thought would be happy together.

It’s also feminist friendly.

I often felt like the author sat down with a list of female/male stereotypes in romance novels and said, “Fuck these stereotypes.” I appreciated that.

Celia is a real person with emotional needs. She doesn’t exist to please Ian and Ian doesn’t expect that from her. There are the typical moments of self-doubt (e.g. I’m not worthy of this man!), but Ian recognizes these feelings and tries to help Celia through them. He treats her emotional hang-ups like a caring partner rather than getting frustrated. He’s a gentleman I can cheer for.

Ian isn’t her only source of comfort. She has a female friend! And this female friend isn’t somehow a non-threat. Imogene is beautiful, confident, and sexually active. In a lot of romance books I’ve read, that makes her the competition. While Imogene does express interest in Ian and admits to jealousy, she doesn’t try to sabotage Celia’s chances or sour her to Ian. She pushes Celia to take chances on herself, and repeatedly tells Celia that Ian “digs” her. She’s a gruff vamp with a soft heart and makes for a good friend instead of becoming the rival or the backstabber. Exited to see her happy ever after in the next book.

I could go on here, but I’ll wrap it up and say I didn’t have my typical “RAWR” reaction.

Bonus: it presented an interesting legal question

Can you technically murder that which is already dead? If I were Imogene or Celia, I think I might have been a bit more concerned about the logical extension of this line of thinking, but good question, Ian. Also, the lack of body would make murder difficult to prove. Not impossible, but pretty difficult given they’re vampires and I want to say don’t have DNA to leave behind.

Also, I think Celia et al. could make a pretty strong case for self-defense in their particular situation. I don’t want to include spoilers… but yeah, VERY STRONG case for self-defense here.

The one thing that REALLY bugged me:

LEGAL PROBLEMS

The next in the series should have been called “Better Bite Saul” or “Bite a Really Good Lawyer.” I haven’t read it yet, but I kind of hope they’re on the run. I don’t even know if this is fair to ding a romance novel for, but… it did bring out my “gr” face.

[J.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I acquired this novel at a convention through a book trade with the author, whom I consider a friend.

Not gonna lie -- I probably never would have picked this novel to read without outside influence. But I met the author at a convention and we hit it off immediately, and I knew based on her personality alone that I had to read the book that had come out of her brain.

Now, my girl-crush on the author extends to the delightful world she's created. Even the setting itself is unique -- Florida, the Sunshine State itself, is a far cry from the big city where most paranormal romances take place, with plenty of places for the inhuman to lurk. As for the fantasy side of the world-building, her take on vampirism is refreshingly straightforward. And most importantly in any novel, the vampires and humans alike are fully fleshed characters with unforgettable personalities.

And even more important: the fully fleshed characters are not the typical tropes in romance novels, whether paranormal or not. None of them are perfect people, but you can't help but love them also for their flaws.

There were a few moments where I thought the action dragged. I didn't understand why some of the scenes were necessary, when the relationships were already solid.

But here's the best part:

Without spoiling anything, all those places where you might be tempted to set the book aside for something different? They were important, and the way all the conflicts and threads tied up at the end was fantastic, brilliant, and laugh out loud hilarious.

I can't wait to see what these characters get up to in the sequel.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light, fun read. A new twist on vampires.

[TheVampireBookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, I have to start how I got to this e-book first. You won't believe it. The Author! contacted me via Instagram if I'd like to read her book and then write a review. *happy screaming in my head* After a breather and my happy dance (because hey, somebody noticed I'm a weirdo with a specialization and therefore my work is not futile anymore- I mean, yes I have you, the Reader, but now even The Author - let's keep it singular and not be overly excited, this might be the only time someone ever gave me a book to review - wants an opinion) I calmed down enough to agree with this. Because I can write about what I think about a book. Yippee! *does a cartwheel, knocks some books off the shelves and almost kills a cat* OK, I'm done blabbering and let's get down to business.
This book is described as RETRO. Like VHS cassettes retro. Having been born to a post-communistic country I must admit it brought my childhood back because what may be so retro to some people, doesn't have to be so far in the past for the rest - everything came a decade or two later to central Europe ;-)= But yeah, crazy purple-haired stealing vampires walking around with cassette players, heroines owning a rather disturbingly large collection of VHS tapes and the smoke of pot actually brings the reader to the past.
The setting near the beach and a surfer boy who won't go into the water plays a nice contrast with the nocturnal life out of the sun vampires tend to lead. And the drinks. Never forget the booze. And an occasional joint. That seems so out of place, too. Drunk vampires. Vampires on drugs.
So, who is the protagonist? Almost any girl you know. Maybe YOU. The self-conscious about her body type. The one who thinks she's too chubby and who is horrified at the prospect of someone seeing her belly. The one who wears yoga pants all the time and the only dress she owns is a muumuu (I actually had to google this word and I'm horrified). The one who is so awkward she drools at people. Literally. I think we all have gone through an awkward phase (at least around our first big crush) - some people just never go out of this phase - that's Celia. And that's why she nods in agreement when asked to become a vampire. She thinks she'll become this beautiful glamorous vampire vixen (her fantasy is on one of her cassettes - Pretty Woman - she wants to have the transformation from a rejected nobody into a beautiful lady who stops everyone in their tracks). Guess what, her dietary plan is the only thing which changes. She is rejected by her maker and the only insight on her new nature is acquired from books (such as Twilight) which makes everything confusing as you may know. So she keeps working night shifts at a gas station and tries to avoid her hot surfer neighbour who smells so delicious.
The hot dude isn't as shallow as one might expect and won't make avoiding him easy. I also like that he is not afraid to be the physically weaker in a relationship. He's absolutely OK with it. But on the other hand, what isn't he cool with? :-)= He's a walking cheerful sunshine with a barf bag around his neck... just read it, you'll see.
The book is funny and when you're done laughing and expect nothing, the sound of silence is occasionally broken by farts from the therapist's couch. It is a romance but so much more. There are terrifying (or grotesque) moments as well - we're talking vampires here, don't expect no blood to be spilled.

[Vera mallard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bite Somebody is a wonderfully funny read. Get ready to laugh from the first pages to the last. Celia is a riot a minute and Woodsy BO Guy is just plain wonderful.


BITE SOMEBODY, STORY LINE:

In Bite Somebody, author Sara Dobie Bauer has created a vampire novel that is funny, witty, and just good entertainment. Celia Merkin is a newbie. A vampire newbie that is! She sees herself as wimpy, lumpy, fat, and far from irresistible. After her creator ask her if she wanted "to be perfect", Celia woke up alone, a new vampire, unable to bite anyone for food, and she certainly was not perfect. In fact, she was her same insecure old self, lumps and all. She has a psychiatrist who does not understand her, a new friend, Imogene, who is crazy, and a new neighbor, Ian, that makes her motor run. Her new crazy friend, Imogene, tells her to just bite somebody. Celia wants her first time special, not just a bite for the bites sake.

Is the woodsy bo guy next door the answer to Celia's problem? Will Celia ever realize her insecurities are coloring her perception of herself? What will happen when her creator pops into town with a new trick on his arm and new schemes?

Come alone and join Celia, Ian (Woodsy BO Guy), and Imogene as they traverse the world of vampires and humans.


BITE SOMEBODY, CHARACTERS, PLOTTING, DEVELOPMENT:

First I must say, I have never laughed so much reading a vampire story. Author Sara Dobie Bauer has created a wonderful feel good book that will appeal to anyone that loves fun, laughter, vampires, first love, friendship, awkwardness, and self-revelations. The person we perceive ourselves, is often quite different from the one the world sees. As a result, Ms. Bauer successfully shows that each of us have characteristics which are attractive to others; all we need is awareness and confidence to believe.

Also, the plotting and pace of the story-line never slowed or lagged as we romp with Ian, Celia and Imogene. Imogene's character is gruff, gritty, and insane. Her development throughout the story-line was progressive. You will love Imogene. She is the yang to Celia's yin. Ian is the stuff of dreams and a little "out there" as he is from California. He is a man who sees below the surface to the real person.

Furthermore, the villain of the story is just that, an evil villain. He's conceited, evil, twisted, and corrupt. You will love hating him and his new fling.

In concluding the review of Bite Somebody, I found this book fast paced and well-written. Ms. Bauer included well crafted love scenes that are not graphic or in detail. Furthermore, Ms. Bauer added in mystery and included a surprise ending that will leave you screaming for the next book in this series. Bite Somebody is a wonderful light vampire romance.


BITE SOMEBODY, RECOMMENDATION 5 STARS:

In conclusion, I do not hesitate to recommend this book to anyone that enjoys a story-line which is well-written and includes laughter, mystery, friendship, and love. This is an easy, relaxing, fun, book. I look forward to the next installment in this series.

Finally, I received this book from Librarything in exchange for an honest book review. Book reviews of any novel are dependent on the book review author’s opinion; consequently, all book reviews on line under my name and on my blog are my opinion.

[RK Poe · Rating 5 out of 5]

When we are young, every little girl wants to feel like a princess. We grow with thoughts of perfection float around in our brains; perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect romance… the perfect life. And a lot of those thought guide the decisions that we make—as well as the mistakes.
Three months ago Celia Merkin was ask, “Do you want to be perfect?” and those thoughts of perfections came rushing back over her, leading her to make the biggest decision she’ll ever make in her life—and the last one. Now, her world has been a rollercoaster ride of awkward and awesome. The truth is, Celia was turned into a vampire. And as she woke into immortality, her hopes of spreading beautiful butterfly wings were dashed when she found out that she was still just a caterpillar. Her human life had been awkward and lonely. Now, nothing has changed—well except for reduction of sunlight in her life.

And after three months, Celia still hasn’t really integrated into the vampire world. Sure she has her therapist and her blood dealer, but as for friends… none. That is until she meets Imogene and the adventure truly begins. An adventure that is leading to Celia’s ultimate goal—to Bite Somebody.
Celia wants her first bite to be special, and her new neighbor smells perfect. Too bad she’s so insecure. With a little help from Imogene, Celia let’s down her guard just long enough to meet Ian, her neighbor. And now, she has more to be attracted to than just his “Woodsy BO” scent—and her desire for his blood. She now has a prince charming to help her complete her transformation into the vampire princess she thought she would become. Of course, it wouldn’t really be a fairy tale without an ogre. And we meet him when Danny, the creep that turned then ditched her, comes back into her life.

Bite Somebody by Sara Dobie Bauer is light and angsty vampire fun. Celia is very relatable, sometimes too much so. Her insecurities are refreshing and make her relationship with Ian even sweeter. And while this is a tale about a vampire, it’s not necessarily a vampire tale—not in the traditional sense. The reader enjoys a good story with fun characters, but even with it all centering around Celia’s bloodlust, this is equally a novel of self-discovery. The reader is on Celia’s journey with her, as she finds a life… after her death.

[Kim Watt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up Bite Somebody on the recommendation of a friend - I've not read much romance in the past, and although I'm reading a little more now it's still not my go-to genre. Add to that the fact that I've become fairly bored of vampires, and it just wasn't really what I'd consider 'my sort of book'.

And this is why we need friends whose taste we respect to recommend books to us. I would've missed out on an absolutely fantastic read. Funny, sexy, and filled with great dialogue, it has fun with the vampire trope and the characters are well-drawn and believable.

WIll definitely be reading the next!

[Novel Novice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unabashedly witty and charming, Bite Somebody by Sara Dobie Bauer is what you’d get if John Hughes and Amy Heckerling teamed up to write a vampire rom-com. Bauer’s book is whip-smart, funny as hell, and utterly adorable.

Celia is quirky and endearing as the reluctant newbie vampire, and her unlikely BFF Imogene is endlessly delightful. As the romantic foil, Ian is perfectly swoon-worthy and lovably dorky in equal parts. And the villainous Danny is the perfect fodder for Celia to face down as she gets her fangs under control, and starts taking control of her undead life.

Bauer has a knack for comedic writing, and her humor carries the book from start to finish — with bits of drama, danger, romance (both sweet and steamy), and friendship interjected throughout for what is, ultimately, a totally fun, engaging read. The characters and the comedy draw you in, and the characters and their dilemmas see you through to the very last page.

I loved every bit of this book. Though written for adults, none of the mature content is too graphic; so this would be perfectly appropriate for older teens, as well. And in fact, Celia does experience her own coming-of-age story throughout the course of Bite Somebody; but rather than transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, Celia transitions from her human life (which, let’s face it, was rather droll and depressing) into her vampire life, where she learns to embrace her identity, her sexuality, and her thirst for life.

[Trimaze · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this refreshing take on the vampire/paranormal/romance genre. The story is not only original but it is downright good. The main character, Celia a newly turned vampire, is upset because she has not transformed into the vampiric beauty she has envisioned she would become. She lacks the confidence and finesse she had hoped being a vampire would bring. Not only does she see a shrink to help her cope with everything she even "buys" her blood supply from a hospital blood bank employee!

It isn't until an unlikely friendship begins with Imogene, an over the top "say it like it is" fellow vampire, that Celia begins to "transform". With Imogene's help she begins to become more confident and even begins to date her ex-surfer neighbor Ian. Once Celia emerges from her shell the antics begin! Danny, the vampire who turned Celia into a vampire, shows up and Celia must defend all she holds dear.

I look forward to reading more from this author and I hope the sequel will be coming soon.

[Wendy Sparrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious book. If Jennifer Crusie's chick lit and Christopher Moore's vampire books hooked up and had a baby, it would be this book...only after it was all grown up and making awkward and sometimes sexy life decisions. The romance in this managed to feel very "real" despite the paranormal aspects--like these could be your friends and it wouldn't seem fictional. I really adored the characters. It was quirky and fun and I'm excited that there might be a sequel in the works.

This book would appeal to readers who like NA and adult paranormal romance or fiction that feels like it could happen to that "one friend you had in high school" only with the addition of vampires. Readers of Molly Harper, Jennifer Crusie, Christopher Moore novels would like this. And maybe Marilyn Brant too. Something about this book just reminded me of her style. With vampires.

*for my more conservative friends* There's drug use (MJ) and language in this one in addition to sex. FYI.

[Jana Washington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bite Somebody is as funny as it promised! Celia is awkward and solitary and sometimes a little too self-deprecating. She's also a new vampire with a fear of taking her first bite. But her new neighbor is seriously tempting her with his delicious woodsy smell. And on top of that, the first vampire she's met since she turned (aside from her therapist) is trying to convince her to just bite somebody. Celia knows nothing about being a vampire. She's trying to do research about it (via Twilight and Dracula), but with the help of Ian and Imogene, she starts becoming her own vampire rather than what the world expects a vampire to be. Celia, Ian and Imogene are a perfect trio, but the outside world soon intrudes on the little world they've built for themselves. While dealing with the internal struggle of finding herself, she must also cope with the external dangers that threaten them. I really enjoyed reading this book, and I can't wait for a sequel :)

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious! I loved this funny vampire romance. Nerdy protagonists are fun. Nerdy protagonists that aren't a perfect size 2 are my favorite!! Keepin' it real Celia!! I loved Ian, Imogene and Heidi. This book flowed. The story line was romantic with a few twists and turns and some bad guys thrown in, but most importantly, I laughed out loud!!! A LOT!!! If you want fun, vampire romance this is it. It puts me in mind of the Sookie Stackhouse series, not True Blood, but the books. I loved that series and I loved this. I can't wait to read about Imogene in Bite Somebody Else.

First sentence: Celia Merkin rode her powder blue beach cruiser down the humid length of Admiral Key, past darkened palm trees swinging in the nighttime breeze-and one hissing goose.

Last sentence: Ian always said he wanted kids.

[Dayna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advanced copy of this book to review.

Celia is a vampire. Only she isn't a very good vampire. She hasn't even had her first bite yet. Imogene is her only friend. Only she's just using Celia for her blood hook up. And Ian is the guy next store with the best smell ever.

Bite Somebody is a fun rom-com. It surprised me with its fun and witty dialogue as well as some deep moments that every one, vampire or human, can relate to. Celia is a great character that any women can relate to and Imogene is a great snarky balance. Overall this book is well written, easy to follow, highly enjoyable, and a great read. I was sad to see it end, but happy to have followed Celia, Imogene, and Ian on their adventures. Looking forward to the next one.

[Atara]

I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
I'm not sure what to rate this. Truthfully, I couldn't get through it. At a certain point I just flipped to the back to see if it was worth finishing. She was too awkward and nerdy for me. She had no ambition or drive. Her friend was too pushy. The romance unconvincing. However, I can see how some people would find her character endearing. It's just not for me.

[Alta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sexy and funny and memorable. I have read it several times now---i think maybe it's my new comfort book. I identified with the characters right away and fell in love with them. (Although crazy Imogene really flips my lid

[Beth Cato · Rating 4 out of 5]

Blurbed it! "Witty banter and hot sexy-times make BITE SOMEBODY sparkle in all the right ways!"

[Kelly Tabor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very light and fun for a vampire story. Bridget Jones with fangs.

[Cherry Bob*omb · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started off kinda cute and quirky, just became nothing as there was no conflict for most of the book, then some unconvincing drama was randomly jammed in the final quarter.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

M'eh. Kind of wanted to slap the heroine. Imogene is awesome, though.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

DISCLAIMER: I received this book for free from the publisher. It came with the second book - Bite Somebody Else - that I received through the Library Thing Earlier Reviewer program. Below is my honest review.

The first few pages started off quite slow for me and I was concerned that the whole book would be like that. Boy was I wrong. The pace, intrigue and excitment picked up once Imogen came on to the scene, which was very early on. This book had great character development, it provided a great insight in to the main character Celia, and I thought it also had a good story line. I found Imogen to be a very likable character and so is Ian. As the story progressed I found Heidi an interesting person and I loved her roll in the ending, as well as Dr Rayna Savage, her partner Dean. Danny and Steve were designed to be unlikeable characters and they did nothing to redeem themselves at all.

This book has a great ending, and leads into the second book, which I can't wait to pick up. I certainly recommend this book to anyone who likes Chick paranormal romance.

[Sadie Forsythe · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF 50%

I won a copy of the sequel to this book through Librarything and the publisher was kind enough to send both it and book one (this book) to me. I tried with it, I really did. But I honestly found it just too juvenile and ridiculous to bear. The main character is in her mid-twenties, but because she's pudgy she's apparently never done anything but watch corny 80s movies. Apparently rubiniesque women can't expect to ever have been kissed, or told their beautiful, or have had good sex, made friends, or been on a date. I found it insulting, really.

But here's a sample of the writing. You can decide for yourself.

" What you're feeling with Ian is the beginning of sexual pleasure."
"Orgasms feel like peeing?"
Dr. Savage shook her head. "No, but sometimes, when things are just getting started, women mistake the feeling."

I just can't take the book seriously. And while it was cute for a chapter or two, by page 140 (or so) it was beyond annoying. The main character is too stupid to tolerate.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Celia Merkin is a newborn vampire. She hasn't had her first bite yet, living off blood donor bags sourced from a local hospital blood dealer. Then, Ian moved in next door. And he smells wonderful. It's an aroma enough to drive a vampire mad. But this is Celia. And she's an oddball. Heck, she even pukes when she gets drunk. What vampires puke?

Anyway... This is an awesome book basically about an awake vampire. In it, she makes friends, finds a boyfriend, and deals with some killer ex drama.

This book will appeal to vampire fans and romantic comedy fans.I

*I received a copy of this book for free. The review is my own, honest and unsolicited.