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Fifty Shades of True Crime: Sex, Drugs, and Killer Kink
The primary sex organ is the brain, an unrelenting and powerful receptor of aphrodisiacs, hardwired to get down and dirty and capable of imagining anything. You might think doggy style or downloading porn is getting your freak on, but you are about to indulge in a different realm of freakish sexual behavior. It is impossible to properly prepare you for what is contained within this book. What you are about to read and see, you'll never be able to unread or unsee. Cops witness it all, and as a seasoned twenty-five-year law enforcement officer, I will lead you through some of the strangest and darkest moments of humanity.
Buckle up for the ride of your life as Fifty Shades of True Crime sets into motion a bizarre trajectory of next-level carnal knowledge. You'll never look at your neighbor the same way, you'll wonder about your best friend, and you'll imagine what your coworker does behind closed doors. Deviant sexual behavior is part of our human psyche, and as offensive as it may seem to some people, it happens in your community. Usually, the private world of people's lives remains undisclosed, but those secrets will come alive as you explore these real-life events.
You'll get the opportunity to play Name That Crime, a soul-searching experience that lets the reader pick a perp's perversion. "The Last Climax" will uncover what happens when we exceed the human limits of hypersexuality. And finally, if you want to spice up your love life, "Teachable Tidbits" is a step-by-step tutorial filled with naughty nuggets. Proceed with caution as you discover that your sexual desires might not be so freaky after all . . . or maybe they are?
Buckle up for the ride of your life as Fifty Shades of True Crime sets into motion a bizarre trajectory of next-level carnal knowledge. You'll never look at your neighbor the same way, you'll wonder about your best friend, and you'll imagine what your coworker does behind closed doors. Deviant sexual behavior is part of our human psyche, and as offensive as it may seem to some people, it happens in your community. Usually, the private world of people's lives remains undisclosed, but those secrets will come alive as you explore these real-life events.
You'll get the opportunity to play Name That Crime, a soul-searching experience that lets the reader pick a perp's perversion. "The Last Climax" will uncover what happens when we exceed the human limits of hypersexuality. And finally, if you want to spice up your love life, "Teachable Tidbits" is a step-by-step tutorial filled with naughty nuggets. Proceed with caution as you discover that your sexual desires might not be so freaky after all . . . or maybe they are?
- GenresTrue CrimeCrime
240 pages, Paperback
Published July 16, 2024
13 people are currently reading
63 people want to read
About the author
Douglas Fifer
1 book3 followersDoug Fifer is a retired Alaskan police officer who specialized in crime scene analysis, deviant sexual crimes, hostage negotiations, and various special assignments throughout his twenty-five-year career. As a highly decorated investigator, Doug has negotiated with serial killers, solved homicides, and worked real-life cases that will shock you to the core. Born in the small town of Homer, Alaska, Doug’s family originates from southeast Alaska, mainly around the Ketchikan area. He and his wife, Kim, raised their children in the Anchorage area, where he resides today.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
July 24, 2024
Proof that truth is weirder than fiction
The introduction to this book is the best I have ever read. Never has my anticipation to read a book been so high. The author’s approach and chapter structure are clever as he eases you into the dark world of iniquity, the sinister underbelly of the city of Anchorage in Alaska. Could a book of true sexually related crimes shock me? Yes!
Some stories are disgusting and most are out there on another level of sexual pleasure. It was so weird and depraved that I was completely unaware this behaviour existed. Of course, I have read more graphic and explicit stories from the splatterpunk genre, but knowing these are true stories adds another dimension.
In summary, did I enjoy it….Yes
The author’s dark humour had me laughing out loud on occassions.
Has the book made me a better person…No, but that wasn’t the intent.
I am, however, much better informed on sexual fetishes.
I have added new words to my vocabulary: coprophilia and zoophiles.
I’ll let you investigate their meaning.
The introduction to this book is the best I have ever read. Never has my anticipation to read a book been so high. The author’s approach and chapter structure are clever as he eases you into the dark world of iniquity, the sinister underbelly of the city of Anchorage in Alaska. Could a book of true sexually related crimes shock me? Yes!
Some stories are disgusting and most are out there on another level of sexual pleasure. It was so weird and depraved that I was completely unaware this behaviour existed. Of course, I have read more graphic and explicit stories from the splatterpunk genre, but knowing these are true stories adds another dimension.
In summary, did I enjoy it….Yes
The author’s dark humour had me laughing out loud on occassions.
Has the book made me a better person…No, but that wasn’t the intent.
I am, however, much better informed on sexual fetishes.
I have added new words to my vocabulary: coprophilia and zoophiles.
I’ll let you investigate their meaning.
August 20, 2024
Fifty shades of True Crime, by Fifer Douglas is a book that will leave you speechless. It is done from Fifers 25 years as a law enforcement officer in Alaska and I found once I started this book, I could not put it down. This book comes with a warning, and it is everything it says it will be.
It is raunchy yet an entertaining true crime documentary which is fascinating yet disturbing. It is a book you would never predict especially what will come in the next chapter, but is an absolute fascinating read with some of the strangest and darkest moments in humanity. There is some exceptionally good humour thrown in from the Auther Fifer as he retells the stories of sex without having sex. Will you ever look at the people in your neighbourhood quiet the same way again after reading this book possibly not, but I devoured this book and could not resist stopping to inform my husband of my latest education of somebody’s freakish sexual behaviour. Never knowing who was more shocked or speechless. I hope the author puts out more book as I for one would look forward to reading them as this is a professionally written book and a highly informative topic told with honesty and humour. Thanks again Fifer Douglas. Thanks to Book Sirens the author and the publisher of this book. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
It is raunchy yet an entertaining true crime documentary which is fascinating yet disturbing. It is a book you would never predict especially what will come in the next chapter, but is an absolute fascinating read with some of the strangest and darkest moments in humanity. There is some exceptionally good humour thrown in from the Auther Fifer as he retells the stories of sex without having sex. Will you ever look at the people in your neighbourhood quiet the same way again after reading this book possibly not, but I devoured this book and could not resist stopping to inform my husband of my latest education of somebody’s freakish sexual behaviour. Never knowing who was more shocked or speechless. I hope the author puts out more book as I for one would look forward to reading them as this is a professionally written book and a highly informative topic told with honesty and humour. Thanks again Fifer Douglas. Thanks to Book Sirens the author and the publisher of this book. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 11, 2024
Excellent. Perfect amount of humor for a subject that can get very dark at times. Very interesting perspective, with it being written by a former police officer I definitely enjoyed the way the book was written. I recommend that my small home town public library buy it and will suggest it to people I know as well. It was a great book.
October 6, 2025
Fifty Shades of True Crime is a wild ride through the strangest and darkest corners of human behavior. Author Douglas Fifer, a former Alaskan cop, strings together story after story of crimes soaked in sex, kink, and shocking perversity. From bestiality cases in small towns to necrophilia, from bizarre arrests involving vegetables to chilling encounters with killers, the book leans on real-life cases to show just how messy and twisted desire can be. It’s told with a mix of dark humor and blunt honesty, which makes it both grotesque and oddly entertaining.
At times, I laughed, mostly at Fifer’s cop-gallows humor and his no-nonsense storytelling. Then a few pages later, I felt queasy. The stories don’t hold back, and the details are unflinching. His style is raw, sometimes crude, yet always conversational. It felt less like I was reading a book and more like I was being told insane stories by a cop who had seen too much but knew how to keep you hooked. I appreciated how he threaded in questions about morality and kink, forcing me to reflect on where the line between fantasy and crime really lies.
I also found myself admiring his honesty. He doesn’t try to sanitize the brutality of human desire or the failures of the legal system. Instead, he puts it all out there, and whether you’re disgusted, amused, or both, you can’t look away. One story that stuck with me was the “Cool as a Cucumber” case. A drunk driver in Anchorage not only crashed his minivan but was also discovered with a massive cucumber, wrapped in plastic, stuck inside him. The image is outrageous and grotesque, yet Fifer tells it with such dark humor that I couldn’t help but laugh and cringe at the same time.
I’d recommend Fifty Shades of True Crime to readers who like their true crime with a heavy dose of shock and unfiltered storytelling. If you want a book that dares to blend the outrageous with the horrifying, and if you can handle humor in the middle of horror, this book will grip you from start to finish.
At times, I laughed, mostly at Fifer’s cop-gallows humor and his no-nonsense storytelling. Then a few pages later, I felt queasy. The stories don’t hold back, and the details are unflinching. His style is raw, sometimes crude, yet always conversational. It felt less like I was reading a book and more like I was being told insane stories by a cop who had seen too much but knew how to keep you hooked. I appreciated how he threaded in questions about morality and kink, forcing me to reflect on where the line between fantasy and crime really lies.
I also found myself admiring his honesty. He doesn’t try to sanitize the brutality of human desire or the failures of the legal system. Instead, he puts it all out there, and whether you’re disgusted, amused, or both, you can’t look away. One story that stuck with me was the “Cool as a Cucumber” case. A drunk driver in Anchorage not only crashed his minivan but was also discovered with a massive cucumber, wrapped in plastic, stuck inside him. The image is outrageous and grotesque, yet Fifer tells it with such dark humor that I couldn’t help but laugh and cringe at the same time.
I’d recommend Fifty Shades of True Crime to readers who like their true crime with a heavy dose of shock and unfiltered storytelling. If you want a book that dares to blend the outrageous with the horrifying, and if you can handle humor in the middle of horror, this book will grip you from start to finish.
August 30, 2024
Just finished the book. My condition right now? Like Phoebe in "Friends" shouting " My eyes! My eyes! ".
Seriously, what are those cases I just read! They are True, Bizarre, oddly funny and sometimes highly disgusting. Human minds! Madre mia!
Like the author said," I am never going to see my neighbors the same way again. " The forewarning was enough to alert me about the content with its exciting points. But I am a brave reader. However, my bravery dropped 40% after I met Simpson, Red minivan and the cucumber holder.
Nevertheless, the cucumber size discussion was hilarious. Next, comes Bunny and the case of triple homicide. I learned a new term called Erotophonophilia. After the Locard’s
exchange principle, the icehouse pizza connection is yucky disgusting.
My bravery is already at Sub-Zero% when I received the 2020 Byron case, the journal keeping pervert, drug-induced hyperthermia, La Eme and the street-pusher's tattoo.
The Ballsy body art section , I do not wanna talk about and want one minute of silence. But Belva- duck case, Bestiality stats were still there. I hated that ancient Egyptian emblamers and recent related cases while dead moose and green River killer are creepy. I have no words for carpenter Bob and the hells Angel's member but gummy bear motivator developer (the female prisoner) seems innovative. Finally the cough drop has gone a little too private with comical timing.
Overall, I learned a lot and understand the box of chocolate theory too well. We should read this book to understand how diverse perversion can be.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Seriously, what are those cases I just read! They are True, Bizarre, oddly funny and sometimes highly disgusting. Human minds! Madre mia!
Like the author said," I am never going to see my neighbors the same way again. " The forewarning was enough to alert me about the content with its exciting points. But I am a brave reader. However, my bravery dropped 40% after I met Simpson, Red minivan and the cucumber holder.
Nevertheless, the cucumber size discussion was hilarious. Next, comes Bunny and the case of triple homicide. I learned a new term called Erotophonophilia. After the Locard’s
exchange principle, the icehouse pizza connection is yucky disgusting.
My bravery is already at Sub-Zero% when I received the 2020 Byron case, the journal keeping pervert, drug-induced hyperthermia, La Eme and the street-pusher's tattoo.
The Ballsy body art section , I do not wanna talk about and want one minute of silence. But Belva- duck case, Bestiality stats were still there. I hated that ancient Egyptian emblamers and recent related cases while dead moose and green River killer are creepy. I have no words for carpenter Bob and the hells Angel's member but gummy bear motivator developer (the female prisoner) seems innovative. Finally the cough drop has gone a little too private with comical timing.
Overall, I learned a lot and understand the box of chocolate theory too well. We should read this book to understand how diverse perversion can be.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
March 28, 2025
Title for Review: Not Your Momma’s True Crime Book – This One Bites Back
Let me just start by saying: if you're looking for your typical, reheated true crime fluff—complete with overly polished podcasts and recycled case summaries you’ve already heard a hundred times—keep walking. This isn’t that.
Doug Fifer doesn’t just peel back the curtain on humanity’s darkest corners—he yanks it down, sets it on fire, and dares you to keep reading. Fifty Shades of True Crime is a one-of-a-kind, jaw-dropping ride through real cases written by someone who’s actually been there. No watered-down narratives, no secondhand spin—this is the unfiltered POV of a decorated cop who’s stared monsters in the eye and lived to tell the story.
You’ll laugh (sometimes uncomfortably), you’ll cringe (a lot), and you’ll probably question what kind of society we’re living in. Doug manages to take you from shock to awe in a single paragraph, with writing that’s as sharp as it is savage. His humor is brutal, his honesty cuts deep, and his insight into deviant behavior is unmatched.
This book doesn’t just keep you turning pages—it grips you by the spine and drags you into the darkness with it. And the wildest part? You’ll thank it for the ride.
Five stars. Ten if I could. Read it. Then read it again. Just don’t expect to come out the same!
Let me just start by saying: if you're looking for your typical, reheated true crime fluff—complete with overly polished podcasts and recycled case summaries you’ve already heard a hundred times—keep walking. This isn’t that.
Doug Fifer doesn’t just peel back the curtain on humanity’s darkest corners—he yanks it down, sets it on fire, and dares you to keep reading. Fifty Shades of True Crime is a one-of-a-kind, jaw-dropping ride through real cases written by someone who’s actually been there. No watered-down narratives, no secondhand spin—this is the unfiltered POV of a decorated cop who’s stared monsters in the eye and lived to tell the story.
You’ll laugh (sometimes uncomfortably), you’ll cringe (a lot), and you’ll probably question what kind of society we’re living in. Doug manages to take you from shock to awe in a single paragraph, with writing that’s as sharp as it is savage. His humor is brutal, his honesty cuts deep, and his insight into deviant behavior is unmatched.
This book doesn’t just keep you turning pages—it grips you by the spine and drags you into the darkness with it. And the wildest part? You’ll thank it for the ride.
Five stars. Ten if I could. Read it. Then read it again. Just don’t expect to come out the same!
January 9, 2025
This book is truly not for the faint of heart. The author was correct in this statement at the beginning of the book. If you are embarrassed easily, please find another book.
However, I just met my new best friend. Seriously. I laughed at the outrageous stories (all true), and just could not believe the lengths some will go to for that "release." You will experience a myriad of emotions through this book - and some will simply be a "I cannot believe someone did that." There were a few that I read while I was eating, and while it didn't ruin my appetite, for some, this could be the new wonder weight loss drug.
I had to buy a copy of this one, as my husband needs to hear these stories. With our military backgrounds, these will fit in perfectly.
The author does a fantastic job of laying out the crimes, giving the reader a chance to guess at what the charge might be (I aced that part), and then gets into the nitty gritty of the case. Should the reader get through the book, they will not be disappointed in the different cases that are presented.
I have to thank the author for one of the best reads, and I look forward to seeing what will come next.
However, I just met my new best friend. Seriously. I laughed at the outrageous stories (all true), and just could not believe the lengths some will go to for that "release." You will experience a myriad of emotions through this book - and some will simply be a "I cannot believe someone did that." There were a few that I read while I was eating, and while it didn't ruin my appetite, for some, this could be the new wonder weight loss drug.
I had to buy a copy of this one, as my husband needs to hear these stories. With our military backgrounds, these will fit in perfectly.
The author does a fantastic job of laying out the crimes, giving the reader a chance to guess at what the charge might be (I aced that part), and then gets into the nitty gritty of the case. Should the reader get through the book, they will not be disappointed in the different cases that are presented.
I have to thank the author for one of the best reads, and I look forward to seeing what will come next.
October 25, 2024
Easily a 5 star book and I truly don’t hand out 5 stars for nothing BUT warning this book is insane, gruesome, and a bit scarring, but in a twisted entertaining and educational way lol. This is a very well written book from a retired Alaskan police officer. This book is crazy to me for many reasons. Not to get personal, but I’m a cop in the Air Force & a really good friend of mine lent me this book because she actually met the author at our local Barnes & Noble 🤯 we don’t come close to experiencing anything as crazy as him BUT we do live in the area where a majority of these stories came from, crazy. That’s the one word to describe this book and these stories CRAZY. But at the same time they’re crazy good, you get so sucked in and then for me I was so deep into the stories I needed breaks lol. If you want crazy, dark and twisted true cop stories this is the book for you.
July 6, 2025
Beyond twisted and demeted but AMAZING! I want this author to write many more books and now I will seek out every book he writes. Enough information to be grossed out but not enough to put it down. There is enough warning on every page on what you are getting into but I couldn't stop. I have a family of law enforcement/corrections/EMT/fire fighters/etc and they can't tell me stories so this was a good eye opener on things that they see. Thank you for your service and your dedication! I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 23, 2024
Well, this was a fun one! This guy has been in some interesting, strange, curious, and awkward situations while in law enforcement. It's well written and rather humorous commentary. Definitely a good read. The only reason I didn't give 5 stars is because I skipped over the majority of a chapter I didn't love. Otherwise, I found it rather enjoyable...in a weird sort of way
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
October 18, 2024
This book was so extremely entertaining… especially living in the city in which Doug refers. He is funny, yet frank and really does a good job making you want to know what happens next! This was a page turner for me- finished in record time and sad when all the stories stopped.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews