(Dis)enchanted

24/7 Demon Mart #6

by D.M. Guay

One loser, one talking cockroach, and one karate-chopping bombshell are all that stand between YOU and your wildest dreams. Or certain death? Yeah. Probably certain death.

For lovable loser Lloyd Wallace, life is finally looking up. He's brokered a peace between the vampires and the werewolves. He's solved the mystery of the monster hamster who lived in his closet. And he doesn't have to worry about his parents catching werewolves on the lawn or getting bitten by their newly-turned vampire cat. Not anymore, because Lloyd just moved into his own apartment. A new, monster free—except for his vampire cat—apartment.

His new place comes with perks, too, like the hot girl who works at the cafe downstairs. She's the sexiest woman he's ever seen in a grandma sweater, and her coffee is so good, it makes him feel like he can conquer the world. She has “Lloyd's new girlfriend” written all over her. She's definitely sending signals.

Everything is great. A little too great.

Kevin has gone viral, but his newfound Internet fame means 24/7 Demon Mart is overrun with fans who worship him. Literally worship him.

DeeDee has finally mastered the flying jump kick, thanks to all the extra training she's put in at Bubba's werewolf gym. She has achieved martial arts greatness. Her new moves have turned her into a lethal weapon, and she's loving it. Maybe a little too much.

Everyone's dreams are coming true. Even Howard Van Helsing, owner of the Happy Tails vampire pet food shop is about to go on the vacation of a lifetime.

Success is spreading like a virus, and everyone's infected, except for Lloyd. Because he doesn't seem to have any dreams, or plans, or a big vision for his future. So as fame and fortune and success shower down on everyone around him, Lloyd's left with questions. Like, what do I want to do with my life? And do dreams really come true—without a catch—when you work at 24/7 Demon Mart? The answers could be the difference between life and death.

Find out what happens in (Dis) 24/7 Demon Mart 6.

24/7 Demon Mart is a horror-comedy / comic fantasy series for fans of A. Lee Martinez (Gil's All-fright Diner), Jason Pargin (John Dies at the End), Rick Gualtieri (Bill the Vampire), Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping), Mark Cain (Circles in Hell series), and Jack Townsend (Tales from the Gas Station).

(Dis) Enchanted is the sixth book in the 24/7 Demon Mart series.

Welcome to the 24/7 Demon Mart Universe! Three series, one hilarious adventure.

24/7 Demon Mart (Main series)
The Graveyard A Horror Comedy (Book 1)
Monster This one has zombies in it (Book 2)
Angel A grim reaper comedy (Book 3)
(Re) A demon horror comedy (Book 4)
Revenge of the A vampires vs werewolves comedy (Book 5)
(Dis) A hexed horror comedy (book 6)

24/7 Demon Mart Stories (read anytime after The Graveyard Shift)
Hell for the A 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas Special
Critters from the Poo A 24/7 Demon Mart Creature Feature

24/7 Demon Mart Short Reads
Kevin vs The Mothman
Kevin vs The Loveland Frogs
Kevin vs Lloyd

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Audiobook, Novels, Fiction, Ebooks, Urban Fantasy

236 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 31, 2024

About the author

DM Guay is a horror fan who mish-mashes her love of all that's scary/gory/geeky/funny into stories about creeps and critters, ghouls and ghosts, and all of the unseemly things that go bump in the night.

Denise lives in Ohio with her 12-foot skeletons. She gives out full-size candy bars on Halloween. She is a stage four kidney cancer surviver (It was bleak. Seriously.), so she donates some of her royalties to the Kidney Cancer Research Alliance. (KCCURE. ORG)

She also runs "Monsters In Your Inbox" a monthly round-up of B-horror movies, horror comedy books, and weird news.

Website: http://dmguay.com
Direct Store: https://payhip.com/authordmguay
Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B06XVFZ2X2
FB:https://www.facebook.com/DMGuay

Reviews

[Eli - Bookworm & Vine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another entertaining read!

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining fantasy listening 🎶🔰

This kindle e-book novel is from my Kindle Unlimited account book six of six

Another will written fantasy world 🌎 adventure thriller story about Lloyd as he goes though life with friends relationships.

I would recommend this series and author to 👍 readers of fantasy world 🌎 horror haunting adventure novels 👍🔰. 2024 😈😮

[Ziggy Nixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Things were finally going my way, and nothing could bring me down.

Lloyd, Lloyd, LLOYD!!! Godsdammit, haven't we been over this before? The whole 'the Universe (capital U mind you) shall punish thee with nasty lesions and other poxes should ye think things are going well' rule? Does the 'Power of Negative Thinking' not ring a bell with you? You are not intended to be nor blessed with the tools that might even let you fake your way through such situations because, let's face it, you are indeed "a clueless idiot, shuffling through life with blinders on!" And probably not even very fashionable blinders at that, with yours no doubt consisting of some faux naugahyde or even cardboard! As such, a calm sunny day with butterflies landing on your nose to tickle your happy bits is not in the cards. Not in a world where things like Count Fuzzy's Feline Blood Feast vampire cat food and oatmeal dragon's blood aura soothing goat's milk soap are perfectly normal items to have on your shopping list! Wait, no, there's no need to look again for these kinds of things, that's not the point! "You heard the devil. Carry on!"

How about we kill him, then we have an orgy?

No, you are as your creator has, well, created you (still talking about Lloyd, y'all, try to keep up!). That's right, author D.M.Guay continues to write you into her '24/7 Demon Mart' adventures, including this latest chapter, namely "(Dis)Enchantment" in the most Lloyd-esque of ways. You, a man without dreams, without targets, without goals … and most likely, not even any clean and/or dry underwear left to your name. And while those around you may also seem to suffer from their own curses, albeit at more conceivably recoverable levels, you are indeed the glue, nay, the very pitch that globulizes and holds these stories together. And yes, that implies that often duct tape will be needed to avoid slippage, especially as mostly naked fat guys like you tend to be slick the more they flop sweat in the face of certain dismemberment. Heh heh… member...

Hope his penis isn't as dumb as he is…

Needless to say, but I probably should because this is after all another one of my long and winding diatribes that I put together after finishing most books, I enjoyed the hell (yeah, we're usin' bad words this time as all get-out!) out of Mistress Guay's latest offer which takes place (primarily) in the aforementioned 24/7 Demon Mart - where cute things always manage to turn into monsters - and it's vast collection of alliterative items for sale such as condoms, cheap keychains, and cell phone chargers… and naturally coffee slushies and Biggy Piggy Chips. As always, her pacing and extra subtle dry wit ("Frozen coffee is the new hot thing…" Go ahead, think about it for a while, we have time…) is simply to walking-die for!

We got a lot to do, and the last thing we need is a moist mummy.

But yes, Book 6 of 6 (dang, still trying to figure out how to fit a 3rd 6 in here) has left me with the usual regrets as well, namely, (a) I wish I could go back each time and read the entire series from page 1 to the last of same and (b) I wish I could somehow pace myself better and not finish my copy within micro-hours (not the same as minutes, he scorned!) of download (that was indeed download and not buttload, a very real historical measurement!). But they are incredibly, most assuredly, and thoroughly fun. Particularly when they go as completely and utterly (lots of adverbs today, huh?) off the rails like this one did! And that's not even counting (though I did) the nearly 100 uses of either the word penis or dick within. Heh heh… dick within… nice!

I can't wait to have a werewolf winky. How glorious!

Another thing that always seems to happen is me sitting back and wondering just how the hell the author came up with the plot for her latest releases. I mean, how much trouble can, could, should a group working at an enchanted 24/7 convenience store get into? OK, before you answer that, do remember the interdimensional hellport in the beer cave, the cleaning (and sand leaking) mummy, the zombie cook and naturally, our beloved manager Kevin, who is a cockroach stuck in a … wait, something's not right there. We'll come back to that one, I'm sure. But this time, even though she admittedly got a bit emotionally 'involved' with her research (face it, humans are, have been, and always will be kind of scummy, full stop), the clever weirdness and weird originality (again, not the same!) were just priceless! And not to mention germane to our modern day and age (well, maybe your age, not mine!) what with phone zombies lurking about, particularly in my own kitchen!

I deserve to be happy. I'm seizing the day and shit. Carpe roach-em!

Kids, if you haven't jumped on the "24/7 Demon Mart" bandwagon yet, well, you don't know what you've been a-missin' oh boy! Pound for pound, word for word, crudely phrased reference to male genitalia to …well, you get the picture… this has been the funniest and most funnest (sic) set of books, novellas and teeny tiny stories written on scraps of paper found deep in an old granny purse that I've enjoyed in, well, ever! And when you begin to catch up to the rest of us, you'll just see how these stories add hilarity on top of hilarity and continue to get crazier all the time. Why, we'll have you up either chanting penis stealing spells or sucking face with a succubus in no time! Sigh… now to wait until the next instalment. I just can't win for losing… that's foreshadowing, y'all, look it up!

[Michael Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything you ever wanted

What happens when everyone around you starts to have their dreams come true? If you are Lloyd, the fat, clueless employee of the convenience store that also happens to be a portal to hell, well it is just too good to be true. And having no real dreams of his own it isn't. But he has an apartment, and even a girl that seems to like him and give him free food and coffee from the coffee shop downstairs. He even starts doing real adult things like paying his bills. What could possibly go wrong?

Once again DM Guay hits it out of the park with her latest novel. While still funny, her characters keep growing and changing (yes, Lloyd still refuses to actually read any of the books that would prepare him for his job, but at least he knows they are important). It is also nice to see that other characters also have lives and do more than just act as foils to the main trio. Having characters and events come back from previous books makes it a living, breathing world. Things don't reset back to normal with each book, what happened before does matter.

I enjoy how while Lloyd always manages to save the day, he ends up doing it in just about the most embarrassing (and extremely funny) way possible.

The only thing that frustrates me is the ending - not how it ends ( I actually love the little hint of what will be in the next book ) but that it does end, and now I have to wait again for the next one!

A great read, and just in time to reread the entire series before Halloween.

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lloyd is one of the nicest persons you could meet, but he is not the smartest or the most competent. So, when he moves out of his parents' house to live on his own, odds are high that he is going to run into some serious problems. And he does! The only question is how do these problems that the reader immediately picks up on connect to the trouble he finds at work when the witches come to town to get a little revenge on Lloyd's boss for not getting back together again with his old witchy girlfriend, Katia.

Like all of the books in the series, brace yourself for a lot of laughter. D. M. Guay is an expert on the various supernatural genres and her spoofs of them are always entertaining. There are times when you will want Lloyd to figure things out a little faster, but that is part of the appeal of Lloyd. He just isn't very smart and it takes getting hit in the face a few times for him to recognize the nature of the problem. But then, this is the guy who took a job at a 24 Hour Mart after he knew that demons used it as a transfer portal between hell and earth and never did get around to reading his employee manual that was packed with information to help him survive employment.

Guay also continues the theme of Lloyd growing up and maturing. He's come a long way since the first book, but he still has a long way to go. That's a good thing. Lloyd's immaturity is a source of much of the humor in the books.

[C I KESZEI · Rating 5 out of 5]

I waited far too long to read this after downloading it

If I find an author I like, I like to read all of their work. If there's a gap of output from them, I go back to another favourite to catch up. And that's what happened here. I've had Demon Mart 6 for ages, but it was worth the wait.

A brilliant job on Lloyd, Dee Dee, Kevin, Angel and the gang. And that it is an effortless read, (not reflecting the huge effort that I'm sure goes into writing a book) shows the talent the author has. And the research that was described in the book sausage. YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THE BOOK SAUSAGE, SCARY STUFF.

To come up with some of the situations, and phfnar humour also shows that not everyone matured at the same rate - this is in no way intended as a slur or to indicate it's childish, far from it. It indicates a large and wonderfully wicked imagination. Long may it continue

[one9eighty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great book from DM Guay with characters that feel like they've become part of the family. The 24/7 Demon Mart gang have to be on their toes with Faust's ex and her coven of witch friends out to cause trouble.

I've given this 5 stars because like the other books in the series it's wonderfully written, entertaining, humorous, well researched, and never skips a beat. Like I mentioned in my review of book 5, it feels almost like this was written for me - which I hope is big compliment. This book, and the others in the series, ticks so many boxes that I was truly gutted knowing that this was the last available book in the 24/7 Demon Mart series. Thankfully a note from the author at the end turned my frown upside down telling me that there will be more books - yay!!

[Justin Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

As always I did enjoy this book by D.M. Guay. my only real issue is more about the narrator, the parts were Lloyd's guardian Angel aka Angel, cried a bit much for my liking & the loudness of the crying was a bit much. Also, it seemed like Lloyd was a bit of a whiner & complainer, especially if he was in danger. I might just be nitpicking the small stuff. I did enjoy the theme of a sudden surge of popularity in a very new coffee shop took off like a rocket, it reminded me of Starbucks & their following of fans. DeeDee I think has to be one of my favorite characters aside from Doc & maybe Faust? Overall, better then decent book.

[Kathy Wortham · Rating 4 out of 5]

What's your type? Mullet Guy, Bikini clad influencer, or a cockroach rock band

He's out of his parents home once again, living over a coffee shop and trying to figure out his life goals. It doesn't hurt that call the coffee and muffins are free courtesy of the witches downstairs. But then his boss Faust pops up demanding everyone fill in their life goals. Right after that a bikini clad influencer tries to take over the Demon Mart. And after she discovers Kevin's Cockroach Rock Band their hit goes big. What could happen next, maybe Katia an evil witch, plus a coven.

[Rick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a joy to read in all its wacky fun. This series and this book are a great palate for well... everything going on in the world or just your day to day stresses. You will at least be chuckling at poor Lloyd and the shenanigans of the Demon Mart crew if not laughing out loud. Cost me a little sleep last night as I didn't want to put it down.

[Chrisanne Barker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another home run - What a fun read!!!!

Gotta say this series keeps hitting it out of the ball park. The story line n characters are soooo much fun. Gotta say though I hope one day Lloyd finally finds his purpose n a real dream!!! Give the series a try if you just want some good old supernatural laughs with lots of crazy characters, D.M Guay’s story telling is where it’s at!!!!

[Trevor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lloyd, DeeDee and Kevin return and this time it looks like all there dreams are coming true, but they should know better. Good book as Lloyd's lack of dreams, could save the day as witches come to town.

[Jennifer Roth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horrifyingly funny!

Only D.M. Guay can take serious subjects like the witch trials and running low on cat food and wrap them up in silliness! Social media trends get a well deserved roasting in hellfire, as do poor style and snack choices. Prepare to be amused!

[David Lange · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly fun!

This is a fun, sweet, adventure, with a few grown up moments and lots of laughs! I highly recommend to fans of snarky supernatural characters, and belly scratching heroes!

[Vanessa Kiger · Rating 4 out of 5]

ALL the laughs!!

This book is just super silly great fun!!! I laughed so much, and it was a great break from the real world. I love this series because it is light-hearted ridiculous, FUN!!!

[Harley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely another wonderful read!!! Already can’t wait for book 7!! SPOOKTACULAR!!!!

[Chad Cloman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Words Fail Me…

This book takes the series to even further heights of absurdity, which I didn’t think was possible. Yet somehow it works.

Recommended. I give it 4/5 stars.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another home run! My main complaint is that since I tore through it in less than a day, I now have to wait what seems like FOREVER for the next installment.
Hashtag Write Faster.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great chapter in the 24/7 Demon Mart series! Just when you thought nothing else can go wrong! "can't win for losing"

[Hilton Alligood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Demon Mart

I always enjoy reading DM Guay. I love all the characters and all the weird stuff that happens to them. Eagerly awaiting the next book!

[Mark O. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as good as the previous ones but I love the characters and is light reading during the insanity of election season.

[Michel McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was a fun new 24/7 Demon Mart book. It's always fun to have those characters running around in my head while on their adventure. I can't wait for the next one.

[Sonja Stockett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

Got a thing for witches, imps and succubi? Then this book is for you! I am stuck on this series and am constantly rooting for Lloyd.

[Cassandra Whitted · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always good

Loved can't wait for the next one. The main character is growing up so fast just waiting for the audio book

[David Rencher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great as always!

I love this series. Funny, light reading and just a good time. Great read when you need a break from heavier reads or studying!

[Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The books just get better and better.

[Jennifer Wilcoxson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paranormal comedy gold

I enjoy the Demon Mart 24/7 series. There are paranormal entities and humor on every page. It's a really fun read.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome and hilarious

I enjoyed this so much! Can't wait for the next one.
These books are always a fun read - you never know what's going to happen next!

[Elizabeth Pettersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always a Good Read

Thanks for another great Lloyd adventure. He deserves a much needed raise and hope he gets his girl soon. Looking forward to the seeing what happens next.

[Bill Sawyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is not to love!

Seriously, if you are reading this book in the series, you are a fan. This story doesn't disappoint. Love it! And! You get a song!