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323 pages, Paperback
Published June 11, 2024
I was born twice, and I was killed the same number of times. In the beginning, I was born from the womb of a confining camp that hung me for a short time upon its walls. It told a story I believed, and upon that story I built my many lies. I lived in the camp's center and upon the margins of an imitation city. I maintained my lies, my hanging, and my marginality until I was killed by a farsighted crusher machine, so blinded by all its killing that it no longer discerned what fell between its jaws. Then it hid the traces of its crime by burying me deep within a vault. Like someone who had been through it all before, I endured my killing and I lived upon the wall that was my grave.Remarkably, Srour's philosophical development sets his narrative apart from other prison memoirs; as translator Luke Leafgren says, he 'shows us how he has lived through the imagination, how his reading expanded the walls of his cell'. But it is impossible to forget how his sanity costs him everything. By a small miracle, Srour dares to hope again – is 'born again' – when he falls in love with a lawyer who visits him from the outside. But it is a love that cannot last, for prison not only limits movement but also quashes dreams, relationship and potential futures. His strategy, of personifying the prison wall and using it as his center of gravity, is threatened by the brightest thing in his life; he loses his hold on the wall, and only through penning this memoir does he find his way back.
Take your wound to the edge of any sky you wish. Beat it against every inch of your body. You die if your wound remains conscious, so let it die instead! Or let it sleep. Don't disturb its slumber by expecting it to heal. Reject all its claims of pain and suffering, for just like dreams, things only come true if we believe them. Be deeper than your wound. Be bigger. Don't exist on its margin: let it exist as yours. Let your prior life grant you a thousand other lives, with similar opportunities for pain. We are not our pains. We are every-thing that existed before them and everything that will exist after them. Don't fall in love with your wound. Don't ever be seduced by the role of a victim. You are the master of your wounds. In prison, you are your prison. Part of your prison is you. If your father falls, catch him. If the one you love leaves you, do not despair, and do not believe she is gone if her love was sincere. If your mother comes to visit, do not stop yourself from collapsing before her: those are your pains. So come near to learn the enormity of your pain! Don't be afraid to come closer, for all pains are possible except those we don't understand.Overall, The Tale of a Wall is gut-wrenching, a book that not only shows the realities of the Israeli occupation but also makes you feel them: the fear, the claustrophobia, the heartbreak. It is a miracle it exists at all, and I do hope more people read it.
Nasser Abu Srour was arrested when he was 18. This November he will turn 56 and have lived most of his life in prison, one of many Palestinians who continue to be detained on the basis of forced confessions from before the Oslo Accords. Do you still think this began on October 7?