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Feminine Lost: Why Most Women are Male
Feminine Lost explores the premise that all human beings are constructed of two energies, one masculine and one feminine. With the rise of the feminist movement, many women have migrated to their masculine side, some to the extent of losing access to their feminine side altogether. As a consequence, men have found their way to their feminine side. This process has had huge consequences for relationships between men and women, often leaving them feeling unsatisfied within their relationships or lonely without one.
Feminine Lost examines female archetypes – the Andro Woman, the Cougar, the Good Doer, and more - that have come to the fore since the feminist movement, pairing them with their masculine opposite, and looking at how the process of attraction functions under these circumstances. When the feminine principle breaks down, the ramifications are many. Feminine Lost breaks through the misunderstanding of what it means to be feminine; it is not an outward appearance but something far more significant.
- GenresNonfictionWomens
273 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
22 people are currently reading
165 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
October 5, 2018
Granger argues all people are a dynamic balance of masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) energy. Masculine is active; doing and giving. As you’d expect, feminine is creative; it nurtures and receives. You choose in your feminine, then act from your masculine.
So far so good, but the book doesn't offer much guidance on developing the energy you feel is lacking. Nor does it offer suggestions about how to choose and deploy the relevant energy should you need to. The little that's there is sprinkled through case studies, and not easily identifiable.
However, useful insights include setting boundaries, saying no, and starting a creative hobby.
So far so good, but the book doesn't offer much guidance on developing the energy you feel is lacking. Nor does it offer suggestions about how to choose and deploy the relevant energy should you need to. The little that's there is sprinkled through case studies, and not easily identifiable.
However, useful insights include setting boundaries, saying no, and starting a creative hobby.
January 28, 2019
Part self-help, part pseudo-psychological unscientific bullshit, complete waste of time. Read at your own risk.
August 20, 2017
This is a wonderful intro book for masculinized women like me. It helped me better understand feminine vs masculine energy, my strengths and weaknesses (worts and all) and provided me with a guide on how to reclaim my femininity.
The language is more concrete, less symbolic compared to typical books of this genre (e.g. Women Who Run with Wolves). Not to say that's a bad book, but for someone who's out of touch with her femininity, poetic, heavily symbolic books are much, much harder to process and understand.
This books cuts to the chase, tells me what my problems are and how to fix it. Totally readable in one sitting. 5/5
Caveat: If you're looking for great depth with all the infinite archetypes of femininity, this is not the book for you.
The language is more concrete, less symbolic compared to typical books of this genre (e.g. Women Who Run with Wolves). Not to say that's a bad book, but for someone who's out of touch with her femininity, poetic, heavily symbolic books are much, much harder to process and understand.
This books cuts to the chase, tells me what my problems are and how to fix it. Totally readable in one sitting. 5/5
Caveat: If you're looking for great depth with all the infinite archetypes of femininity, this is not the book for you.
August 1, 2017
This book was helpful in reminding me what qualities are feminine and the importance of polarity in our interactions. It helped me understand why some of my past relationships didn't work out. However, I have to believe with the post below that it is pseudo-psychological and unscientific, and that makes it hard for me to take it to too seriously. It seems a bit quaint and dated in an era of gender fluidity.
February 26, 2018
I didn't like the names that the author gave to her archetypes, and found her Good doer title annoying, since the term do gooder is a more usual term.
I was interested to dig deeper into the masculine/feminine polarity topic, although so many of the archetypes were so unpleasant, and I'm not sure I've really met many of these types of people.
My takeaways, have clear boundaries, say NO and don't take on everyone else's stuff.
I was interested to dig deeper into the masculine/feminine polarity topic, although so many of the archetypes were so unpleasant, and I'm not sure I've really met many of these types of people.
My takeaways, have clear boundaries, say NO and don't take on everyone else's stuff.
September 16, 2024
First of all - it’s very tempting to label things as “good or bad”. But as the author repeatedly stated throughout the book, many things are just what they are. And while words often carry connotations, the author aims to present things in a rather neutral tone (even though at times, the author too was revealing her own feelings towards certain types of people).
In essence, the book describes that while externally we’re defined by our physical polarity (male or female), internally, our own energy also carries its own polarity (masculine and feminine). In today’s world where the societal expectation of females - in terms of career, in terms of family lifes - mirrors that of male, the author argues that the consequences of that is, a new generation of people grew up becoming a feminine energy in male form, or a masculine energy in female form.
While innately, the author argues, there is nothing wrong with either form. The trouble arises only when someone in either form does not know what they want (the author went on details about several different types of feminine energy in male form and masculine energy in female form, which I won’t dwell too much here). Polarities attract each other. When a masculine female is matched with a feminine male, even if neither of them know why they’re attracted to each other, they just are. However, as the masculine female ages up (often with the introduction of children), they mellow more and become more feminine, that’s when polarity no longer works and marriage falls apart. As author observes:
Author spent a good deal of time explaining what masculine energy meant. In essence, masculine energy is required when doing exterior work - the “hunting” part. In work, regardless if one is born male or female, one needs to use their masculine energy to advance, otherwise they become gradually irrelevant. However, if a person can’t balance their energy - one energy overwhelmed the other - trouble arises.
The author also argues that when modern men no longer approach women - and often it’s the women approaching men - confusion arises:
The author argues that because the men become the picked, rather than the picker, they have immense freedom to roam around different women. And because they’re the one being picked, they’re using their feminine energy to interact with women. Thus in this interaction, if a woman doesn’t understand that she is in the male role (yet still internalizes herself as a female), they will feel for someone yet seemingly doesn’t understand why the other party doesn’t reciprocate.
You are the opposite energy of what you attract. Thus, if a female relies on her masculine energy, then she needs to either change her life to regain her feminine energy, or simply accept that she will attract someone feminine - again, there is nothing innately wrong with the arrangement, given if the said female is accepting her choice.
In essence, the book describes that while externally we’re defined by our physical polarity (male or female), internally, our own energy also carries its own polarity (masculine and feminine). In today’s world where the societal expectation of females - in terms of career, in terms of family lifes - mirrors that of male, the author argues that the consequences of that is, a new generation of people grew up becoming a feminine energy in male form, or a masculine energy in female form.
While innately, the author argues, there is nothing wrong with either form. The trouble arises only when someone in either form does not know what they want (the author went on details about several different types of feminine energy in male form and masculine energy in female form, which I won’t dwell too much here). Polarities attract each other. When a masculine female is matched with a feminine male, even if neither of them know why they’re attracted to each other, they just are. However, as the masculine female ages up (often with the introduction of children), they mellow more and become more feminine, that’s when polarity no longer works and marriage falls apart. As author observes:
... It has become acceptable for women to bring home the kill and feed the family because they are quite capable of earning a good salary and benefits. However, what these men do not realize is that in their arrogance and laziness they are easing themselves out of society… Women’s equality has somehow given them the go-ahead to release their manhood into the care of the women in their lives, and it is wreaking havoc…
Author spent a good deal of time explaining what masculine energy meant. In essence, masculine energy is required when doing exterior work - the “hunting” part. In work, regardless if one is born male or female, one needs to use their masculine energy to advance, otherwise they become gradually irrelevant. However, if a person can’t balance their energy - one energy overwhelmed the other - trouble arises.
The author also argues that when modern men no longer approach women - and often it’s the women approaching men - confusion arises:
... so many men have been burned and hurt by a masculine woman, to the point where they have become innately afraid of rejection and humiliation. It has gotten so bad that men can’t seem to muster the effort to approach a woman, even if they are attracted to her…
The author argues that because the men become the picked, rather than the picker, they have immense freedom to roam around different women. And because they’re the one being picked, they’re using their feminine energy to interact with women. Thus in this interaction, if a woman doesn’t understand that she is in the male role (yet still internalizes herself as a female), they will feel for someone yet seemingly doesn’t understand why the other party doesn’t reciprocate.
You are the opposite energy of what you attract. Thus, if a female relies on her masculine energy, then she needs to either change her life to regain her feminine energy, or simply accept that she will attract someone feminine - again, there is nothing innately wrong with the arrangement, given if the said female is accepting her choice.
August 13, 2025
This is one of my favorite books! As a young woman in my late 20’s in the year 2025 and with the atmosphere around dating nowadays, I think this book is so so important now more than ever! I think most of the topics she touches on and her take on masculine and feminine traits is so accurate! I related to the archetypes she defined and have never looked so inwards than while reading this book. I reflected back on failed relationships and understood them to a greater degree! I have not only gained new insights, knowledge, and awareness about myself, but also closure from relationships and friendships from the past. I believe this book needs to be read by all women and men in their twenties. We, as a society, need to shift our perspective and end the hate and competitiveness between the sexes that is louder now due to social media than ever before!! If we want to bring balance back to our society and the dating world, we all need to go into this book with an open mind and being awareness to the topics she sheds light on!! Great great read! I will be rereading again and I’ve recommended it to so many of my friends!
October 12, 2017
Some insightful observations
Interesting perspectives on female and male energies, how they play out in men and women, and how the need for balance can be central to any meaningful relationship.
Interesting perspectives on female and male energies, how they play out in men and women, and how the need for balance can be central to any meaningful relationship.
May 18, 2020
The best book to read for every hard working, successful and educated lady out here. It best explains masculinity in women, something that is toxic and we ought to learn and unlearn how to use our masculine energies.
January 26, 2021
As a boss I am interested in learning more about feminine vs masculine leadership styles and found this book really interesting. I would have liked to learn more about what exactly is the feminine vs masculine and how to harness each, but the personality groups resonated for me.
June 16, 2016
FEMININE LOST relays on the inner male-female paradigm, an ancient assumption that we have both male and female essence inside of us independently of sexual orientation. Moreover, the imbalance of these energies in us creates inharmony in ourselves and our relationships nowadays.
With archetypes, transformational coach, Jennifer Granger explains how these imbalances, promoted by false beliefs, show up in our society through her own experience and her clients, specifically the ones where women tend to their masculine essence and men, in consequence, to their feminine essence.
Jennifer Granger describes was going on as “we have well-dressed women in the workplace acting like men on a power trip and taking no prisoners. We have men who look like rugby players but are acting out their feminine side.” Furthermore, you attract your inner polarity, and the energy imbalance ensures dissatisfaction, and an unease feeling persists until the pursue of equilibrium.
Imbalanced archetypes:
The good doer
The villainous andro woman
The virtuous andro woman
The cougar
The pseudo masculine man
The highly feminine man
Balanced archetypes:
The graceful woman
The sensitive – champion man
FEMININE LOST is useful for both men and women to embrace a healthy male-female relationship in us and through us at work and at home.
With archetypes, transformational coach, Jennifer Granger explains how these imbalances, promoted by false beliefs, show up in our society through her own experience and her clients, specifically the ones where women tend to their masculine essence and men, in consequence, to their feminine essence.
Jennifer Granger describes was going on as “we have well-dressed women in the workplace acting like men on a power trip and taking no prisoners. We have men who look like rugby players but are acting out their feminine side.” Furthermore, you attract your inner polarity, and the energy imbalance ensures dissatisfaction, and an unease feeling persists until the pursue of equilibrium.
Imbalanced archetypes:
The good doer
The villainous andro woman
The virtuous andro woman
The cougar
The pseudo masculine man
The highly feminine man
Balanced archetypes:
The graceful woman
The sensitive – champion man
FEMININE LOST is useful for both men and women to embrace a healthy male-female relationship in us and through us at work and at home.
April 5, 2015
She comes up with some really intriguing categories that I maddeningly try to fit all the masculine women I know in. They aren't terribly precise but give good descriptions of characteristics to be observant of. I read through it quickly as other books on the subject of femininty (especially that of understanding oneself as a modern woman afflicted by the pull of a testerone-driven society) better lay the foundation to my thoughts on the subject. This was a nice spin off and interesting take but not necessarily a seminal text. Enjoyable but not earth shatteringly profound.
September 9, 2015
I gave Feminine Lost 5 stars - simply because it explained to me exactly what I was never able to sufficiently explain to others - why my marriage broke up! I thought the case studies were useful and real people would be able to relate. Jennifer Granger has hit on something I would never have considered valid in relationship breakdowns, but I found this book very useful and not at all preachy - which, let's face it - sometimes they can be. Highly recommended!
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews