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Pure Eyes, Clean Heart: A Couple's Journey to Freedom from Pornography
In this candid account, Craig and Jen Ferguson share their personal story of the shame, anger, and hopelessness associated with Craig’s porn addiction. It threatened to destroy their marriage until they discovered how drawing close to Christ could lead them out of the pit of sinful habits, unhealthy responses, and personal despair toward true recovery. Marked by biblical and practical guidance for addressing the heart issues that lead to addiction, Pure Eyes, Clean Heart offers encouragement and hope to those who struggle—or whose loved ones struggle—with the lure of pornography. Includes Scripture-based prayers, discussion questions for couples, and other helpful resources.
232 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2014
14 people are currently reading
54 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
October 4, 2014
I wish I could give this book more than five stars. Truly, I don't know that I've ever been more touched by a work of nonfiction. This book is God-breathed. Anointed! Reading it, I felt washed over by the prayer that went into it.
I LOVE the way it's put together (her perspective, his perspective, gentle suggestions about how one might, with the help of the Lord, approach a specific challenge).
I LOVE the humble tone. The bravery, honestly, and just...love of these people makes me want to curl up and cry. There is not one iota of pretentiousness or bossiness, and I know--as one who's very sensitive to tone, as one who CANNOT be told (by another human) what to do and how to think--that's why the message affected me so very deeply.
I LOVE the applicability of this book. I believe wholeheartedly that it will help EVERY married person, ESPECIALLY if (s)he's a Christian. If (s)he's NOT a Christian, this book may very well lead him or her TO Christ. There is so much, here, about love...forgiveness...honesty...authenticity...grace...surrender (I could go on and on!): the most basic and necessary ingredients for healthy marriage.
I'd promised to lend my copy to a friend when I finished reading, and I don't know: I'm going to have to buy her a copy or something, because I just can't. I need to go back and reread certain things...underline them...sit with them awhile...maybe write them up my arm with a Sharpie.
Trust me: even if pornography has never been an issue in your marriage, you will be blessed by this book. You will learn from this book. You will be inspired by this book. You will start praying for this couple to make a video series out of this book, for your small group Bible study. You will wish you had the money to buy a copy of this book for every married couple you know and every church library in your county.
I LOVE the way it's put together (her perspective, his perspective, gentle suggestions about how one might, with the help of the Lord, approach a specific challenge).
I LOVE the humble tone. The bravery, honestly, and just...love of these people makes me want to curl up and cry. There is not one iota of pretentiousness or bossiness, and I know--as one who's very sensitive to tone, as one who CANNOT be told (by another human) what to do and how to think--that's why the message affected me so very deeply.
I LOVE the applicability of this book. I believe wholeheartedly that it will help EVERY married person, ESPECIALLY if (s)he's a Christian. If (s)he's NOT a Christian, this book may very well lead him or her TO Christ. There is so much, here, about love...forgiveness...honesty...authenticity...grace...surrender (I could go on and on!): the most basic and necessary ingredients for healthy marriage.
I'd promised to lend my copy to a friend when I finished reading, and I don't know: I'm going to have to buy her a copy or something, because I just can't. I need to go back and reread certain things...underline them...sit with them awhile...maybe write them up my arm with a Sharpie.
Trust me: even if pornography has never been an issue in your marriage, you will be blessed by this book. You will learn from this book. You will be inspired by this book. You will start praying for this couple to make a video series out of this book, for your small group Bible study. You will wish you had the money to buy a copy of this book for every married couple you know and every church library in your county.
October 25, 2018
Pure Eyes, Clean Heart by Jen and Craig Ferguson is a great book.
This couple understands exactly how devastating a pornography addiction can be to a married couple, because they lived through one. They are very clear and forthcoming in what happened in their lives and how God used it to sanctify them both.
The Fergusons use their real-life story to help readers to understand what the first steps are in beginning a recovery from pornography addiction without shame or guilt. They do an excellent job of explaining the difference between conviction and condemnation.
I LOVE that this book supports a wife being an accountability partner for her husband. While it can be an incredibly difficult role to fill, I do think it is one of the best ways to have accountability for moral purity because NO ONE is going to know you or your edging behaviors like a spouse.
Overall I give Pure Eyes, Clean Heart a solid B+ rating. It is a great resource to have if you or someone you love has a pornography addiction. This book is specifically geared towards pornography issues in a marriage, not other sexual sins like physical and emotional affairs. I gave this book a B instead of an A because it does lean pretty heavily towards the side of only men having issues with pornography. It hardly addresses the issues of women looking at pornography or reading erotica.
This couple understands exactly how devastating a pornography addiction can be to a married couple, because they lived through one. They are very clear and forthcoming in what happened in their lives and how God used it to sanctify them both.
The Fergusons use their real-life story to help readers to understand what the first steps are in beginning a recovery from pornography addiction without shame or guilt. They do an excellent job of explaining the difference between conviction and condemnation.
I LOVE that this book supports a wife being an accountability partner for her husband. While it can be an incredibly difficult role to fill, I do think it is one of the best ways to have accountability for moral purity because NO ONE is going to know you or your edging behaviors like a spouse.
Overall I give Pure Eyes, Clean Heart a solid B+ rating. It is a great resource to have if you or someone you love has a pornography addiction. This book is specifically geared towards pornography issues in a marriage, not other sexual sins like physical and emotional affairs. I gave this book a B instead of an A because it does lean pretty heavily towards the side of only men having issues with pornography. It hardly addresses the issues of women looking at pornography or reading erotica.
October 4, 2014
Mark my words, this book will impact many.
Here’s the deal. Authors, Craig and Jen Ferguson score off the charts with likability. They will remind you of people you know, friends you have, or friends you want to have. They are real, vulnerable, not preachy, and beyond brave.
“Pure Eyes, Clean Heart” tells the story that many would rather not talk about, porn addiction, but instead of pointing fingers at people and actions, it points readers to God.
I like the way this book is written in a He Said/She Said format because it makes the book appropriate and accessible for both men and women. Its Prayer Section is valuable, and because I am a practical girl, I also really appreciate the resources at the end of the book. In addition, I think the discussion questions will be instrumental in starting new and productive conversations for couples who may have a tendency to rehash the same conversations (but never come up with solutions) again and again.
I see this book as being a useful resource for a number of groups and types of people: men’s and women’s groups, premarital counselors, marriage counselors, friends, marriage and family retreat attendees, couples and individuals.
Bravo, Fergusons. You nailed it.
Here’s the deal. Authors, Craig and Jen Ferguson score off the charts with likability. They will remind you of people you know, friends you have, or friends you want to have. They are real, vulnerable, not preachy, and beyond brave.
“Pure Eyes, Clean Heart” tells the story that many would rather not talk about, porn addiction, but instead of pointing fingers at people and actions, it points readers to God.
I like the way this book is written in a He Said/She Said format because it makes the book appropriate and accessible for both men and women. Its Prayer Section is valuable, and because I am a practical girl, I also really appreciate the resources at the end of the book. In addition, I think the discussion questions will be instrumental in starting new and productive conversations for couples who may have a tendency to rehash the same conversations (but never come up with solutions) again and again.
I see this book as being a useful resource for a number of groups and types of people: men’s and women’s groups, premarital counselors, marriage counselors, friends, marriage and family retreat attendees, couples and individuals.
Bravo, Fergusons. You nailed it.
July 10, 2014
In Pure Eyes, Clean Heart: A Couple's Journey to Freedom from Pornography, Craig and Jen Ferguson openly and willingly share details of their own personal struggles through a porn addiction in hopes that it will help other couples traveling the same road.
In an age where there is so much secrecy and shame surrounding porn addictions, I admire the Fergusons' courage to step out and share from their own experience, sharing how God has led them to freedom.
One of the advantages of Pure Eyes, Clean Heart is that it is written in a way that helps wives understand their husbands' struggles and husbands understand their wives' struggles. In addition, the book focuses on honesty and open lines of communication. Each section of the book includes a chapter from Jen's perspective,a chapter from Craig's perspective, and a chapter designed to help couples process together what they've learned. This chapter relies heavily on scripture, and I think that's what makes this book a helpful and practical resource. Additionally, each section includes discussion questions that help couples process things together. Another major plus for me were the sample prayers in Appendix B which help husbands and wives know better how to pray for each other and themselves.
Readers will find that the book addresses all sorts of issues like:
why pornography is dangerous and what God says about it;
breaking sin cycles;
confession and forgiveness;
realizing a relationship with Jesus is the only answer;
putting on God's armor for the spiritual battle;
how, when and who to share your struggle with; and
offering grace to each other.
Overall, I'm very impressed with this Pure Eyes, Clean Heart. What I appreciate most is that the authors willingly admit that there is no "one-size-fits-all" tool that works for everyone. For some people it's accountability, for others it may be exercise, and for still others it may be something else entirely. However, the Fergusons do point out that the only way to truly overcome a porn addiction, no matter which spouse you are, is to pursue a deeper relationship with Jesus.
Readers seeking help in dealing with a porn addiction will find hope and encouragement as well as biblical teaching and some practical tips and suggestions. If couples read the book and take the time to openly and honestly discuss it together, I know this book will get them started on the road to recovery. Some couples may still wish to seek counseling as well, but this book is certainly a great starting point. It is honest, engaging, encouraging and heavily dependent upon the Bible.
* Note: I received a copy of the book from NetGalley for this honest review. However, the opinions expressed are my own.
In an age where there is so much secrecy and shame surrounding porn addictions, I admire the Fergusons' courage to step out and share from their own experience, sharing how God has led them to freedom.
One of the advantages of Pure Eyes, Clean Heart is that it is written in a way that helps wives understand their husbands' struggles and husbands understand their wives' struggles. In addition, the book focuses on honesty and open lines of communication. Each section of the book includes a chapter from Jen's perspective,a chapter from Craig's perspective, and a chapter designed to help couples process together what they've learned. This chapter relies heavily on scripture, and I think that's what makes this book a helpful and practical resource. Additionally, each section includes discussion questions that help couples process things together. Another major plus for me were the sample prayers in Appendix B which help husbands and wives know better how to pray for each other and themselves.
Readers will find that the book addresses all sorts of issues like:
why pornography is dangerous and what God says about it;
breaking sin cycles;
confession and forgiveness;
realizing a relationship with Jesus is the only answer;
putting on God's armor for the spiritual battle;
how, when and who to share your struggle with; and
offering grace to each other.
Overall, I'm very impressed with this Pure Eyes, Clean Heart. What I appreciate most is that the authors willingly admit that there is no "one-size-fits-all" tool that works for everyone. For some people it's accountability, for others it may be exercise, and for still others it may be something else entirely. However, the Fergusons do point out that the only way to truly overcome a porn addiction, no matter which spouse you are, is to pursue a deeper relationship with Jesus.
Readers seeking help in dealing with a porn addiction will find hope and encouragement as well as biblical teaching and some practical tips and suggestions. If couples read the book and take the time to openly and honestly discuss it together, I know this book will get them started on the road to recovery. Some couples may still wish to seek counseling as well, but this book is certainly a great starting point. It is honest, engaging, encouraging and heavily dependent upon the Bible.
* Note: I received a copy of the book from NetGalley for this honest review. However, the opinions expressed are my own.
November 1, 2014
First of all, this book was very good for anyone dealing with *any* sin-struggle in their heart. It doesn't have to be pornography.
For many, this book can really bring hope & peace. I LOVE that she points the reader to Jesus. HE is the only hope we have of permanently breaking free from ANYTHING. No self-help book, counselor, 12-step group, or safe-guards will be able to give you the steps to freedom. Those steps are only found in Christ...and Christ alone. This book is perfect for anyone looking for true freedom, true healing, and true hope in Christ. Anyone who has a tender, teachable, and open heart will benefit from this book.
However, I'd be careful about handing it off to a wounded friend. It could be misunderstood. I believe God helped Jen & Craig to pen these words. I mean to say that when I was at my most tender place, I felt more wounded whenever I thought excuses were being made & my sin was being leveled to my husband's sin. I felt like his hurt was being minimized. I often misinterpreted things validated. My heart just wasn't in a place of receiving all the truths right away. So, if I were just discovering pornography in my marriage, I might have been a little sensitive & put-off at any finger pointing in *my* direction. It's not that I think I'm without sin, or not deserving of being called out in my sin. It is simply that when I first dealt with this issue, I needed comfort & having my own sin pointed out was not what I would've been looking for. That said, not everyone is in the place I was at. As a woman who has endured pornography in my marriage, I've found the words in the Ferguson’s book to be poignant and true. Having come through the other side of this issue (my husband is fully free by the grace & kindness of God!) my heart is now much more open to the things in this book aimed towards me. I still found it to be a painful read. It was hard to go back there & remember the feelings and emotions that were articulated so incredibly well. But some of the pain was a good pain. The Holy Spirit gently convicted me of some things through the gentle way things are presented in this book.
Readers will get a very good idea of what the other person in their marriage may be really feeling, thinking, needing…and also hope, comfort and a gentle sense of direction.
For many, this book can really bring hope & peace. I LOVE that she points the reader to Jesus. HE is the only hope we have of permanently breaking free from ANYTHING. No self-help book, counselor, 12-step group, or safe-guards will be able to give you the steps to freedom. Those steps are only found in Christ...and Christ alone. This book is perfect for anyone looking for true freedom, true healing, and true hope in Christ. Anyone who has a tender, teachable, and open heart will benefit from this book.
However, I'd be careful about handing it off to a wounded friend. It could be misunderstood. I believe God helped Jen & Craig to pen these words. I mean to say that when I was at my most tender place, I felt more wounded whenever I thought excuses were being made & my sin was being leveled to my husband's sin. I felt like his hurt was being minimized. I often misinterpreted things validated. My heart just wasn't in a place of receiving all the truths right away. So, if I were just discovering pornography in my marriage, I might have been a little sensitive & put-off at any finger pointing in *my* direction. It's not that I think I'm without sin, or not deserving of being called out in my sin. It is simply that when I first dealt with this issue, I needed comfort & having my own sin pointed out was not what I would've been looking for. That said, not everyone is in the place I was at. As a woman who has endured pornography in my marriage, I've found the words in the Ferguson’s book to be poignant and true. Having come through the other side of this issue (my husband is fully free by the grace & kindness of God!) my heart is now much more open to the things in this book aimed towards me. I still found it to be a painful read. It was hard to go back there & remember the feelings and emotions that were articulated so incredibly well. But some of the pain was a good pain. The Holy Spirit gently convicted me of some things through the gentle way things are presented in this book.
Readers will get a very good idea of what the other person in their marriage may be really feeling, thinking, needing…and also hope, comfort and a gentle sense of direction.
November 21, 2014
If you don't happen to deal with this issue and therefore think you don't need to read this book, think again! This book has something for everyone. One would think that a book about porn addiction would only appeal to a niche market, but that's not the case with "PURE EYES, CLEAN HEART - A Couple's Journey to Freedom from Pornography." Jen and Craig Ferguson not only speak honestly and courageously about Craig's porn addiction; they share, step by step, how they've navigated these murky waters to a place of healing.
While I did not expect to see myself or my husband in this book, the truth is that I saw us both. The message "PURE EYES, CLEAN HEART" delivers will resonate not only with anyone dealing with any type of addiction, but with all married couples as well. That is because this book is not only about addiction but about relationships in general as well.
Still not sure this book has something for you? The book is divided into 6 segments and each of these consists of 3 chapters - one written from Jen's perspective, one written from Craig's perspective and a third chapter to help you work through the topic they've just presented. If you love God's Word then you will love these third chapters. They go beyond sharing relevant Scriptures and give in-depth explanations of the verses that allow you to see Scripture in an entirely new light. Whether married or not, or addicted or not, this book has something in it for you!
While I did not expect to see myself or my husband in this book, the truth is that I saw us both. The message "PURE EYES, CLEAN HEART" delivers will resonate not only with anyone dealing with any type of addiction, but with all married couples as well. That is because this book is not only about addiction but about relationships in general as well.
Still not sure this book has something for you? The book is divided into 6 segments and each of these consists of 3 chapters - one written from Jen's perspective, one written from Craig's perspective and a third chapter to help you work through the topic they've just presented. If you love God's Word then you will love these third chapters. They go beyond sharing relevant Scriptures and give in-depth explanations of the verses that allow you to see Scripture in an entirely new light. Whether married or not, or addicted or not, this book has something in it for you!
October 17, 2014
Jen and Craig Ferguson share their story of redemption and hope as they navigated the storm of dealing with addiction. Their book, Pure Eyes Clean Heart, A Couple’s Journey to Freedom from Pornography, deals with more than just the realization of a problem and the passage through it; it fills in holes that addiction leaves behind. The practical, necessary, and hope-filled words that lace the pages of each chapter bring the reader to a place where freedom is not just something to wish for, but it is something we can actually attain.
Written in sections of 3 chapters that allow Jen and Craig space to share their voice, the final chapter in each section brings us back to God’s story. I literally could not put the book down once I started. It was easy to read and, with their personalities showing through, I found myself both absorbing their pain and rejoicing in their moments of triumph. The raw truth and humble reverence for the Lordship of Christ, permeated the entire theme of this couple’s retelling of going from bondage to freedom, together. I finished the book feeling inspired.
It is a worthwhile investment to make in yourself and in the lives other others who you know need to read it.
Great book!
You can read a complete review on my blog at http://www.journeysingrace.com/2014/1...
Written in sections of 3 chapters that allow Jen and Craig space to share their voice, the final chapter in each section brings us back to God’s story. I literally could not put the book down once I started. It was easy to read and, with their personalities showing through, I found myself both absorbing their pain and rejoicing in their moments of triumph. The raw truth and humble reverence for the Lordship of Christ, permeated the entire theme of this couple’s retelling of going from bondage to freedom, together. I finished the book feeling inspired.
It is a worthwhile investment to make in yourself and in the lives other others who you know need to read it.
Great book!
You can read a complete review on my blog at http://www.journeysingrace.com/2014/1...
October 1, 2014
Jen and Craig Ferguson tell a brave story that can encourage couples in so many areas of life. Yes, they share about the shame, anger, insecurity, and hopelessness they experienced because of Craig’s addiction to pornography, but their story is about so much more.
They learned how Christ could rescue them – individually and together – out of the darkness and free them into the light. As I read “Pure Eyes, Clean Heart,” so many other questions came to my mind: What lies from Satan have I believed that created division in my house? Is there anything I need to bring into the light?
I thought about convicting words and condemning words are not the same thing. In fact, they have the opposite effect on my life. Those times I was given the gift of truth are important to point me to God.
This book for both men and women is packed with resources and practical advice that are based on the Bible. Jen and Craig alternate telling their story and encouraging couples to talk and pray through their own struggles. Questions throughout are likely to prompt meaningful conversations about all sorts of subjects.
They learned how Christ could rescue them – individually and together – out of the darkness and free them into the light. As I read “Pure Eyes, Clean Heart,” so many other questions came to my mind: What lies from Satan have I believed that created division in my house? Is there anything I need to bring into the light?
I thought about convicting words and condemning words are not the same thing. In fact, they have the opposite effect on my life. Those times I was given the gift of truth are important to point me to God.
This book for both men and women is packed with resources and practical advice that are based on the Bible. Jen and Craig alternate telling their story and encouraging couples to talk and pray through their own struggles. Questions throughout are likely to prompt meaningful conversations about all sorts of subjects.
October 13, 2014
I just finished reading Pure Eyes, Clean Hearts by Jen and Craig Ferguson. A story that has washed God's love, peace and hope over me today. A story of struggle and a story of hope, the hope we all have in Jesus Christ. This is a book about marriage, commitment, honesty and community. A book that should be read by "not married yet", "just married", "married and struggling", "married and at peace" and "married again". A reminder that as a married couple we are on the same team (when our hearts are knit together in Christ) and that we do not fight against flesh and blood but against the evil one. Thank you Jen and Craig for exposing the darkness and following the Lord!
September 24, 2014
This book could almost be marketed as a one-volume marriage library. It is about a husband's addiction to pornography, but you could replace "porn" with almost any addictive behavior, and reap valuable insight and advice from every chapter.
Well-written and well-organized, one of the best things about "Pure Eyes, Clean Heart" is its warm, friendly, understanding tone. The Fergusons share their story with a sincere desire to help readers discover and get rid of their own unhealthy baggage -- whatever form it may take.
Well-written and well-organized, one of the best things about "Pure Eyes, Clean Heart" is its warm, friendly, understanding tone. The Fergusons share their story with a sincere desire to help readers discover and get rid of their own unhealthy baggage -- whatever form it may take.
September 2, 2015
This is an excellent book. It is wide, wide open and so honest it transcends pain and radiates hope from the very first page. The story of the Ferguson family battle with pornography addiction is a simple, common entry point into the heart of all addiction and recovery. Jen and Craig write back and forth, each giving their perspective on part of the process and then they write together as a couple. I found the book tremendously thoughtful and inspiring. If you know anyone at all who suffers from any form of addiction, this book will help.
January 27, 2015
Thankful for this brave couple willing to share their story to help others. It's not easy to let anyone peek in on the intimate parts of your life, but they've done so to offer hope. If you want to hear an honest account of the struggle through addiction, this is the read for you. Great couple. Great book.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews