Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield

by Tina Swithin

Prior to stepping onto the battlefield with a Narcissist, it is imperative to know their playbook both forwards and backwards. The behavior of individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder generally defies logic but sadly, their tactics in the Family Court System often fool Judges, Commissioners, Attorneys, Minor’s Counsel, Social Workers, Therapists and even trained Evaluators. Narcissists are the masters of manipulation and projection and are known to launch stealth assaults that will leave their victims in an utter state of confusion and desperation. Victims are often left shattered and without a voice because they feel that no one could possibly believe or understand what they are silently enduring. Author, Tina Swithin, understands what it’s like to divorce a narcissist. Tina spent over four years on the battlefield of the Family Court System while acting as her own attorney in a desperate attempt to protect her two young daughters. While Tina’s first book, Divorcing a One Mom’s Battle details Tina’s personal journey and court battle, her new book offers solid advice and sanity-saving wisdom for transforming from victim to survivor. Education is power and Divorcing a Advice from the Battlefield is your personal guide and resource for navigating through high-conflict divorce. Receive advice for every stage of the • Leaving the Strategies and advice • Advice on attorneys, tactical moves, courtroom preparation, anxiety/PTSD, evaluations and more. • Narc Learn to decode emails and communication. • Sharing custody, sheltering children and breaking the cycle. • Life Beyond the Loving again, personal growth and healing. • Stories of Hope • Resources

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Relationships

276 pages, Paperback

First published February 20, 2014

Reviews

[Shauna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Divorcing a Narcissist

This book was very informative and helpful. Swithin has unfortunately been in the situation of divorcing a narcissist and therefore gives practical advice on how to handle dealing with them. I highly recommend this book for those going through a divorce with someone with narcissistic traits.

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful in ways both practical and mentally.

[Jason Scott · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm giving up on this one. There isn't anything to recommend about this, it's just a pile on list of people complaining about their situation. I think when people are in the middle of the high conflict portion of separation it's really easy to paint your future-ex-spouse as a cluster B personality disorder , and the stress of the situation may in fact cause people to exhibit traits of cluster B personality disorders. But I the audience for this "advice" book would be better off reading something by Bill Eddy.

I know for me that switching to parallel parenting really eased everything.

When I took a Parenting Through High Conflict Divorce class, one of the first things the counselor said was "isn't amazing that out of the 12 people here that you all are not the high conflict person?" and it was obvious in the class that there were people who blameshifted their ex without seeing how they contributed to conflict. This book is the same way. I read some of the stories (not the main author's stories, but the "advice from the battlefield") and I can't help but think "uh... I'm not sure your ex is the problem here".

Oh well, I hope people got to a better place where they were able to coparent or parallel parent without the kids being affected by the conflict.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this through Audible. EXCELLENT because its written by a survivor of Narc Abuse sharing her own experience and speaking to others going through a similar journey. No getting bogged down in technical language, just straight talk 'from the battlefield'. There are certain books that are worth having read to you. She organized her thoughts through sharing the story and then providing bullet points of learned experience she calls 'advice from the battlefield'. Will definitely be on my recommendation list for those who are in high conflict divorces with someone with a personality disorder.

[Dearbhla She-Her · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'd give two stars for the book content. While I learned some useful points about how to deal with a narcissist, stars deducted because a) this is not so much a book as rehashed blog posts & comments; b) court-related advice is relevant only in US, No effort has been made to be more universal; c) more deus-ex-machina than your average non-USian can stomach.
Final star deducted from this audible edition vs just the book content for the horrendous reader, who was desperately monotone and dreary in her delivery.

[Alejandra]

DNF'ed
The book is too disjointed to provide value to me- it often forgets its own claim to be a guide for coparenting with a narcissist, while simultaneously telling anyone splitting with a narcissist to cut them off in every way and never speak to them. While I see how that's ideal for our own healing and emotional safety, How impossible would that be?
I have to communicate food, diapers, forgotten snuggie toys, closed school days, who's brining what lunch, and upcoming birthday parties at least every day. I had to stop listening to how I need to cut him off for at least two months.

[Stephanie Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was simultaneously validating and discouraging. At the time I read it, I was looking for a way out… this book doesn’t give a roadmap to escape an abusive situation, but it does tell the story of how one woman did.

[Amy Beth McPherson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book to help support a friend who is having struggles. I learned a lot from this though. I feel better able to support others in this situation now. It was fascinating that some of the things I read I felt like they had taken notes from watching my friend’s ex. It was eerie.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential if you are in this situation.

[Garland L. Hundley]

Glad I read this book. I know I need to read more to completely understand.

[Linda Levinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book which takes not only Tina's situation into account, but others as well. While each experience is varied, there are elements that tie the book together and make it a go-to in high conflict divorces.

[Winter Sophia Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awareness & Educational! Excellent Read!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical advice with good aplicable step by step.