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232 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2024
“In Londen, en in die eerste weken, was tijd het enige dat ik bezat, zo veel zelfs dat het voelde alsof het ministerie van Binnenlandse Zaken me in die zeeën van tijd wilde laten verdrinken.”
“Meer dan een lichaam hebben we niet om ons te herinneren aan de hoop die we hebben verloren, het thuis dat we nooit terug zullen krijgen. Thuis is meer geworden dan een land alleen.”
I remember those evenings when our garden was packed with adults and children who had come to read my father's books whenever there was a lull in the bombardment, when women who couldn't read or write would arrive with their bun sets and make coffee and popcorn in exchange for stories, when poets would read their unfinished work to gauge their audience's reaction, when, having read some of my father's books, debates would break out among intellectuals.3.5/5
Even the way we want to love has to be negotiated in the same way we sought asylum in this country, our fate hanging on a matter of believability.
They handed me to a refugee organisation as if I were a crumpled, dog-eared book that everyone had attempted to read before stopping midway through, having stumbled across difficult sentences, disturbing images, and then quitting and passing me on.
I thought about the success and failure of a story and how it depends on other factors beyond the truth.
Even the way we want to love has to be negotiated in the same way we sought asylum in this country, our fate hanging on a matter of believability. Yet what is there to believe or not to believe about us - two immigrants standing here in the heart of Bloomsbury, in the depth of the night, pretending that we're a myth.
“the past two years have been the most difficult of my career. A lot of publishers – young, old, black, white, Asian – try to push you towards how marketable your book can become. …. It was constantly: “Yeah, but why is it one paragraph? Sulaiman can write really well, but why is he writing this erotic, sexual thing?” Giving space to your madness as a writer – to your playfulness, to your desire for experiment – becomes a white-man field; I really felt I had to stand up for myself. Maybe I’ve taken the concept of freedom into the wilderness [laughs], but, for me, it’s about paying homage to your imagination. I’ve lived in oppressive countries, I know what oppression is – the last thing I’d want to do is to turn my imagination into an oppressive thing.”
Listen, I said to the men in English.
What? one of them asked. I repeated it, this time letter by letter, L-i-s-t-e-n. The man shook his head. In this country, we say lisen, he said. I wondered about the missing letter T and why they decided to throw it away - and as if I developed instant kinship with a letter ejected from its rightful place, I gave the T a home on my tongue
They handed me to a refugee organisation as if I were a crumpled, dog-eared book that everyone had attempted to read before stopping midway through, having stumbled across difficult sentences, disturbing images, and then quitting and passing me on.