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48 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1969
Now
in the middle of this
someone I love is dead
and I don't even know
"how"
I thought she belonged to me
How she filled my life when I felt empty!
How she fills me now!
- Tambourine Life, 66
I wake up 11:30 back aching from soft bed Pat
gone to work Ron to class (I never heard a sound)
it's my birthday. 27. I put on birthday
pants birthday shirt go to ADAM's buy a Pepsi for
breakfast come home drink it take a pill
I'm high!
I do three Greek lessons to make
up for cutting class. I read birthday book
(from Joe) on Juan Gris real name: Jose
Vittoriano Gonzales stop in the middle read
all my poems gloat a little over new ballad
quickly skip old sonnets imitations of Shakespeare.
Back to books. I read poems by Auden Spenser Stevens
Pound and Frank O'Hara. I hate books.
I wonder
if Jan or Helen or Babe ever thinks about me. I
wonder if Dave Bearden still dislikes me. I wonder
if people talk about me secretly. I wonder if
I'm too old. I wonder if I'm fooling myself
about pills. I wonder what's in the icebox.
I wonder if Ron or Pat bought any toilet paper
this morning
- Personal Poem #2
I wake up back aching from soft bed Pat
gone to work Ron to class (I
never heard a sound) it's my birthday. I put on
birthday pants birthday shirt go to ADAM's buy a
pepsi for breakfast come home drink it take a pill
I'm high. I do three Greek lessons
to make up for cutting class. I read birthday book
(from Joe) on Juan Gris real name Jose Vittoriano
Gonzales stop in the middle read all
my poems gloat a little over new ballad quickly skip old
sonnets imitations of Shakespeare. Back to books. I read
poems by Auden Spenser Pound Stevens and Frank O'Hara.
I hate books.
I wonder if Jan or Helen or Babe
ever thinks about me. I wonder if Dave Bearden still
dislikes me. I wonder if people talk about me
secretly. I wonder if I'm too old. I wonder if I'm fooling
myself about pills. I wonder what's in the icebox. I wonder
if Ron or Pat bought any toilet paper this morning
- Sonnet LXXVI
what sky
out there is between the ailanthuses
a 17th century prison an aardvark
a photograph of Mussolini
a personal letter from Isak Dinesen
written after eating
can be succeeded by a calm evaluation
of the "intense inane" that surrounds
him:
it is cool
I am high
and happy
as it turns
on the earth
tangles me
in the air
and between these two passages (from
the only poem 'Biotherm') occurs a me-
diating line which might stand to charac
terize all of Mr. O'Hara's art:
I am guarding it from mess and message.
- Frank O'Hara's Questions from "Writers and Issues" by John Ashbery
Hi, Bears!
do you believe in magic?
good!
because I am here
to make a monkey out of you
The best way
to make yrself a monkey
is to jump down
(spin around)
pick a bale of cotton
if you don't understand
that
you will never understand
your country's history
- Tambourine Life, 18