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Kinda Korean: Stories from an American Life
For fans of Michelle Zauner's Crying in H-Mart and Cathy Park Hong's Minor Feelings comes a coming-of-age memoir about a daughter of immigrants discovering her Korean American identity while finding it in her heart to forgive her Tiger Mom.
In this courageous memoir of parental love, intergenerational trauma, and perseverance, Joan Sung breaks the generational silence that curses her family. By intentionally overcoming the stereotype that all Asians are quiet, Sung tells her stories of coming-of-age with a Tiger Mom who did not understand American society.
Torn between her two identities as a Korean woman and a first generation American, Sung bares her struggles in an honest and bare confessional. Sifting through her experiences with microaggressions to the over fetishization of Asian women, Sung connects the COVID pandemic with the decades of violence and racism experienced by Asian American communities.
In this courageous memoir of parental love, intergenerational trauma, and perseverance, Joan Sung breaks the generational silence that curses her family. By intentionally overcoming the stereotype that all Asians are quiet, Sung tells her stories of coming-of-age with a Tiger Mom who did not understand American society.
Torn between her two identities as a Korean woman and a first generation American, Sung bares her struggles in an honest and bare confessional. Sifting through her experiences with microaggressions to the over fetishization of Asian women, Sung connects the COVID pandemic with the decades of violence and racism experienced by Asian American communities.
302 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 25, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
November 9, 2024
An honest, emotional, and important memoir about existing in the liminal space between cultures.
This was such an emotional read. Sung’s childhood and young adulthood were particularly difficult to read juxtaposed with some truly beautiful moments as she begins to understand and heal her trauma (her reflections on her Dad and the scene where she finds the letters he sent her in the Air Force was so moving!). There’s a lot of heart, and heartbreak, told in an incredibly human way.
Sung’s commentary on identity and racism were poignant. I deeply appreciated listening to her reflections and her openness and candidness about her experiences as a Korean-American.
Sung is a talented writer. I enjoyed spending time with her and her family while reading this memoir. Reading the author’s bio at the end, and filling in some gaps about where the book leaves off and today, was wonderful. Keep being awesome, Joan Sung!
I was privileged to have my request to review this book approved by She Writes Press on NetGalley.
This was such an emotional read. Sung’s childhood and young adulthood were particularly difficult to read juxtaposed with some truly beautiful moments as she begins to understand and heal her trauma (her reflections on her Dad and the scene where she finds the letters he sent her in the Air Force was so moving!). There’s a lot of heart, and heartbreak, told in an incredibly human way.
Sung’s commentary on identity and racism were poignant. I deeply appreciated listening to her reflections and her openness and candidness about her experiences as a Korean-American.
Sung is a talented writer. I enjoyed spending time with her and her family while reading this memoir. Reading the author’s bio at the end, and filling in some gaps about where the book leaves off and today, was wonderful. Keep being awesome, Joan Sung!
I was privileged to have my request to review this book approved by She Writes Press on NetGalley.
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February 28, 2025This was definitely a raw, thought-provoking memoir, and I really wish I enjoyed it more than I did. I chose to read this because I really thought I was going to be able to relate, but unfortunately, I didn't. The author's upbringing was completely different than my own, and I found no connection to her story.
However, I give the author a ton of credit for coming out and telling her story. She literally went through every racist scenario you could possibly imagine. I've had things said to me in the past, but my friends always had my back. I remember when one of my girlfriends almost got into a fight with a very large man because he called me a racial slur, lol😂 Unfortunately, Joan didn't have that back up and I truly felt sorry for her. She talks a lot about race and covers all the Asian stereotypes in this book. I honestly felt like it was a lot.
Her relationship with her mother was seriously depressing to read about. But I hope that people who read this book don't think all Korean mothers are like hers.
There were definitely parts of this book that I found frustrating to read as a Korean-American. Some parts I even found a bit annoying. But in the end, this is her story, and I'm happy that she was able to forgive her mom and really get to know her dad.
Honestly, there is so much more I want to say, but I won't bore you, and just because this book wasn't for me doesn't mean it won't be for you.
However, I give the author a ton of credit for coming out and telling her story. She literally went through every racist scenario you could possibly imagine. I've had things said to me in the past, but my friends always had my back. I remember when one of my girlfriends almost got into a fight with a very large man because he called me a racial slur, lol😂 Unfortunately, Joan didn't have that back up and I truly felt sorry for her. She talks a lot about race and covers all the Asian stereotypes in this book. I honestly felt like it was a lot.
Her relationship with her mother was seriously depressing to read about. But I hope that people who read this book don't think all Korean mothers are like hers.
There were definitely parts of this book that I found frustrating to read as a Korean-American. Some parts I even found a bit annoying. But in the end, this is her story, and I'm happy that she was able to forgive her mom and really get to know her dad.
Honestly, there is so much more I want to say, but I won't bore you, and just because this book wasn't for me doesn't mean it won't be for you.
January 28, 2025
**Kinda Korean: Stories from an American Life comes out February 25, 2025**
CW: sexual assault
Thank you to Sparkpoint Studio for this copy in exchange for an honest review. Note: all quotes are subject to change.
Where shall I begin? I’ve been on hiatus for a long while, barely reading anything last year. So it definitely takes a truly remarkable book to draw me back out of my non-reading shell. And Kinda Korean was the right book to come back into my life at the start of this new year.
Whenever I read a memoir, I struggle with how to rate it, let alone review it. This is someone’s story. Who am I to tell them if their story is “good” or not? Perhaps some people may think certain people’s lives are more worth chronicling, such as your favourite celebrity or a revered leader on the global stage, but don’t we also need to hear stories from the every day person? The kind of person that we can relate to?
This is what makes Joan’s story one that bowled me over in the best way possible, and I hope it’s one that does the same for many others out there. I’ll try to put all my thoughts down in a coherent way. This was not a book for my brain to simply appreciate; it was very much a book that saw into my heart.
I will first preface that I’m not Korean. But I don’t believe we have to be Korean, or even Asian, to feel for Joan. Written in a mostly chronological order and in short chapters catered around specific moments, it was a smooth read although I wouldn’t say it was an easy one. The majority of the story follows her from her youth, setting the scene as an Asian American child growing up in a space that always implicitly (or explicitly) said “you’re not one of us”. To make matters worse, identity can get even more confusing when among others who do look like you, there is still separation based on class and even the coveted double eyelid.
And then there is the matter of family. While my own Asian experiences were thankfully not as Joan experienced, I know well enough people who have had tiger moms. Reading her account of the miscommunication and deep divide between her and her mom was both riveting and heartbreaking. How intergenerational trauma led to years of self-destructive behaviours along with experiences I would never wish on anyone, I just wanted to hug the Joan that was in those pages and never let go.
Okay, so people may ask, what does this have to do with me? Why should I pick up this specific book out of all the ones out there?
My only answer? To understand the Asian diaspora experience more. Whether you are part of the Asian diaspora or not, this is a message for all of us to learn.
From the stereotypical fetishization of Asian women to feeling like we don’t belong anywhere, I learned so much within these pages. I highlighted SO many passages because there were so many things I wanted to return to again later. Not every moment had to be deeply personal to have connected with me. But I will say, as a Chinese Canadian reading this, I felt someone had finally worded some of the things embedded deep in my heart for the very first time, like it was okay to take it out of some dark recess and bring it up to the light to examine more closely.
In Western society, not too many people understand what it’s like to live as the Asian diaspora. I barely know if I’m living it right half the time. But perhaps, that is the beauty of the lesson in Joan’s story, the lesson she learned herself. There is no guidebook for being in this in-between space, therefore, can there be a right or wrong way to go about it with no model to follow? Instead of hiding the pains that are suffered in our strive for perfection, maybe it’s time for a bright light to shine on the dark side of Asian experiences so others may know. Maybe then, shocking events such as post-COVID hate on the Asian community can be better discussed and learned from. Was it really all of a sudden, as some people may have believed, or was it always bubbling just underneath the surface and finally crawling out into broad daylight?
There were so many lessons in Joan’s life that she learned and hence imparted on us as well through her story. So maybe it’s not in the big celebrity experiences alone we need to hear more of, but in the sharing of our everyday experiences that shape us for the better. I know I’ve been changed in some way from it.
CW: sexual assault
Thank you to Sparkpoint Studio for this copy in exchange for an honest review. Note: all quotes are subject to change.
Where shall I begin? I’ve been on hiatus for a long while, barely reading anything last year. So it definitely takes a truly remarkable book to draw me back out of my non-reading shell. And Kinda Korean was the right book to come back into my life at the start of this new year.
Whenever I read a memoir, I struggle with how to rate it, let alone review it. This is someone’s story. Who am I to tell them if their story is “good” or not? Perhaps some people may think certain people’s lives are more worth chronicling, such as your favourite celebrity or a revered leader on the global stage, but don’t we also need to hear stories from the every day person? The kind of person that we can relate to?
This is what makes Joan’s story one that bowled me over in the best way possible, and I hope it’s one that does the same for many others out there. I’ll try to put all my thoughts down in a coherent way. This was not a book for my brain to simply appreciate; it was very much a book that saw into my heart.
I will first preface that I’m not Korean. But I don’t believe we have to be Korean, or even Asian, to feel for Joan. Written in a mostly chronological order and in short chapters catered around specific moments, it was a smooth read although I wouldn’t say it was an easy one. The majority of the story follows her from her youth, setting the scene as an Asian American child growing up in a space that always implicitly (or explicitly) said “you’re not one of us”. To make matters worse, identity can get even more confusing when among others who do look like you, there is still separation based on class and even the coveted double eyelid.
And then there is the matter of family. While my own Asian experiences were thankfully not as Joan experienced, I know well enough people who have had tiger moms. Reading her account of the miscommunication and deep divide between her and her mom was both riveting and heartbreaking. How intergenerational trauma led to years of self-destructive behaviours along with experiences I would never wish on anyone, I just wanted to hug the Joan that was in those pages and never let go.
Okay, so people may ask, what does this have to do with me? Why should I pick up this specific book out of all the ones out there?
My only answer? To understand the Asian diaspora experience more. Whether you are part of the Asian diaspora or not, this is a message for all of us to learn.
How society had constantly told me what it meant to be Asian American, but I was never able to define it myself. How my Korean culture and my Korean family told me I was supposed to be one way, but my American culture told me I was supposed to be something else; I was caught in between. I belonged nowhere.
From the stereotypical fetishization of Asian women to feeling like we don’t belong anywhere, I learned so much within these pages. I highlighted SO many passages because there were so many things I wanted to return to again later. Not every moment had to be deeply personal to have connected with me. But I will say, as a Chinese Canadian reading this, I felt someone had finally worded some of the things embedded deep in my heart for the very first time, like it was okay to take it out of some dark recess and bring it up to the light to examine more closely.
And if I could speak Korean, was that truly the barrier keeping me from feeling “Korean enough”? If I was realistic, my inability to speak Korean would be replaced by another barrier keeping me from feeling Korean. Because that is the thing about the Asian American diasporic experience. We’re always trying to achieve perfection, when it doesn’t really exist.
In Western society, not too many people understand what it’s like to live as the Asian diaspora. I barely know if I’m living it right half the time. But perhaps, that is the beauty of the lesson in Joan’s story, the lesson she learned herself. There is no guidebook for being in this in-between space, therefore, can there be a right or wrong way to go about it with no model to follow? Instead of hiding the pains that are suffered in our strive for perfection, maybe it’s time for a bright light to shine on the dark side of Asian experiences so others may know. Maybe then, shocking events such as post-COVID hate on the Asian community can be better discussed and learned from. Was it really all of a sudden, as some people may have believed, or was it always bubbling just underneath the surface and finally crawling out into broad daylight?
There were so many lessons in Joan’s life that she learned and hence imparted on us as well through her story. So maybe it’s not in the big celebrity experiences alone we need to hear more of, but in the sharing of our everyday experiences that shape us for the better. I know I’ve been changed in some way from it.
My mother always told me the story of the willow and the wind. The willow that fights against the wind ends up breaking apart. But the willow that bends to the will of the wind is the one that survives. Bend to the wind. Heempehrah. Because what else can you do but let go of the things you can’t control?
December 3, 2025
This had me crying by the end
January 15, 2025
Kinda Korean by Dr. Joan Sung is a lesson in self discovery and acceptance, in addition to intersectionality, as a Korean American daughter of immigrant parents. Sung demonstrates how, throughout her life and across various settings, she is othered - used as and assumed to fit a stereotype when it benefits those in privileged positions, and dismissed, discriminated against, and silenced when she doesn’t meet expectations. The common thread in her stories is the questioning of her own identity and not being welcome or “enough” in any space.
As a woman, there are plenty of things to relate to throughout her stories, including her experiences with sexual assault and harassment, the impact of generational trauma, career obstacles, and being a mother to a biracial child.
As an Asian American, she was subjected to the model minority myth starting at a young age. This, at times, elevated her above other POC when her identity was being weaponized against them, yet still kept her excluded from white spaces, making it easier to deny her experiences with racism (even amidst, for example, the dramatic increase in violence against Asian Americans in relation to COVID).
As a Korean American with immigrant parents, she grappled with being born and raised in the US, yet not being welcomed or represented in American culture. Too close yet too removed from her family’s culture, she also didn’t gain a sense of comfort in other Korean Americans either - not feeling like she measured up in terms of Korean language fluency or economic status amongst her peers, let alone criticism she received from her immediate family.
On top of it, each piece of Sung’s identity is inseparable from another, and you feel the weight of these intersecting forms of discrimination adding up throughout her stories.
Despite tackling such heavy topics, Kinda Korean is a book I breezed through and found to be an easy, engaging read. It is ultimately a collection of stories that demonstrates how one can grow to feel secure in herself and embrace the in-betweens of identity, despite living in a world where she is constantly confronted with a societally-constructed box that she doesn’t fit neatly in. This is a book I would recommend to everyone.
Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the ARC of this book!
As a woman, there are plenty of things to relate to throughout her stories, including her experiences with sexual assault and harassment, the impact of generational trauma, career obstacles, and being a mother to a biracial child.
As an Asian American, she was subjected to the model minority myth starting at a young age. This, at times, elevated her above other POC when her identity was being weaponized against them, yet still kept her excluded from white spaces, making it easier to deny her experiences with racism (even amidst, for example, the dramatic increase in violence against Asian Americans in relation to COVID).
As a Korean American with immigrant parents, she grappled with being born and raised in the US, yet not being welcomed or represented in American culture. Too close yet too removed from her family’s culture, she also didn’t gain a sense of comfort in other Korean Americans either - not feeling like she measured up in terms of Korean language fluency or economic status amongst her peers, let alone criticism she received from her immediate family.
On top of it, each piece of Sung’s identity is inseparable from another, and you feel the weight of these intersecting forms of discrimination adding up throughout her stories.
Despite tackling such heavy topics, Kinda Korean is a book I breezed through and found to be an easy, engaging read. It is ultimately a collection of stories that demonstrates how one can grow to feel secure in herself and embrace the in-betweens of identity, despite living in a world where she is constantly confronted with a societally-constructed box that she doesn’t fit neatly in. This is a book I would recommend to everyone.
Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the ARC of this book!
March 10, 2025
Kinda Korean is a layered memoir about growing up as a Korean American in the Pacific Northwest. The author delves into the model minority myth, Asian women fetishization, among other important topics. It has been compared to other memoirs that also discuss these subjects (which I have also read and enjoyed), but this memoir has a distinct voice. I actually went into this book fairly blind and was pleasantly surprised at finding out she was a Pacific NW author. Every chapter brought a subject or experience that connected to me as a reader and I was engaged from beginning to end. It was nostalgic for me to read about Wild Waves, Uwajimaya, and the perfect description of the mood that rainy days feel like as a Washingtonian.
There are so many things in this book I want to mention that sat with me, but it would literally just be me gushing chapter by chapter so you might as well just read the book for yourself. Although it has mixed reviews, I found her writing quite enjoyable, witty, educational, and well-written. I’d be interested in reading more books from Dr. Sung in the future.
Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the gifted e-copy in exchange for an honest review.
There are so many things in this book I want to mention that sat with me, but it would literally just be me gushing chapter by chapter so you might as well just read the book for yourself. Although it has mixed reviews, I found her writing quite enjoyable, witty, educational, and well-written. I’d be interested in reading more books from Dr. Sung in the future.
Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the gifted e-copy in exchange for an honest review.
January 7, 2025
i love cultural stories and reading other people's pov from all over the world. this memoir was written beautifully & it was super relatable.
was i confused at times? yes, because they were written and divided into short stories explaining different issues she has growing up with immigrant parents and the trauma she has to faced growing up that went on for years and years.
i found myself moved by her unflinchingly honest yet tender portrayals of her mother, which by the way is a Tiger Mom. the author dives into the good, the bad, and the ugly when talking about her mother, which is what makes the book so compelling. I think anyone who has a lady bird kind of relationship with their mom could identify with the highs and lows between Joan and her mother. and while touching on broad themes of mother-daughter bonds & generational trauma, she remains committed to her own story without making any broad generalizations about culture.
i loved this. her story was very inspiring. i laughed, cry and was angry at times because i just wanted to save her. this was a very eye opening biography. definitely a must read.
thank you @shewritespress for an early copy.
this book comes out in Feb. 25 2025.
[tg: SA, verbal abuse, physical abuse, alcohol, rape]
was i confused at times? yes, because they were written and divided into short stories explaining different issues she has growing up with immigrant parents and the trauma she has to faced growing up that went on for years and years.
i found myself moved by her unflinchingly honest yet tender portrayals of her mother, which by the way is a Tiger Mom. the author dives into the good, the bad, and the ugly when talking about her mother, which is what makes the book so compelling. I think anyone who has a lady bird kind of relationship with their mom could identify with the highs and lows between Joan and her mother. and while touching on broad themes of mother-daughter bonds & generational trauma, she remains committed to her own story without making any broad generalizations about culture.
i loved this. her story was very inspiring. i laughed, cry and was angry at times because i just wanted to save her. this was a very eye opening biography. definitely a must read.
thank you @shewritespress for an early copy.
this book comes out in Feb. 25 2025.
[tg: SA, verbal abuse, physical abuse, alcohol, rape]
February 2, 2025
A memoir from an Asian American woman about her struggles growing up in a U.S. immigrant family, grappling with generational trauma.
I’m an immigrant myself, raising my children in my adopted, and much-loved, country. Although we are white, and race is not an issue for us, nationality might be. It’s very interesting to read about other people’s experiences, especially from the second generation, as I often think about my own children and what they endure or might struggle with in the future.
I enjoyed the first third of the book very much. The stories were painful and real. I applaud the author’s bravery in speaking openly about her struggles and traumas. I understand the importance of speaking loudly about racism, sexism, stereotypes, cultural differences, and her experience as an army officer. These topics should be heard and talked about more.
Sadly, I related all too much to her experience of intrusive parental control. Her relationship with her parents and brother felt familiar to me, so I empathised with her anger, disappointment, and blame.
However, even for me, it was overwhelming at times. The constant blaming of others—particularly her mother—became uncomfortable to read. There was so much anger, negativity, and pessimism that I found myself irritated by the relentless attitude. Yes, I understand the pain, but the sky isn’t always dark. It didn’t feel like a fully balanced picture but rather a cherry-picking of the worst moments of her life. Her wounds seemed too fresh, too raw, and too painful still. I wanted to put a plaster over them.
I struggled to get through parts of the book, not only because of the overly negative tone but also because some stories felt repetitive and circular. More editorial refinement might have helped maintain reader engagement—enhancing some stories and cutting others. I rarely DNF books, but I seriously considered it halfway through. In the end, I decided to push through, and I’m glad I did.
By the final chapters, the author reached a meaningful realisation about her identity and culture. She let go of the rage and blame directed at her parents and society, finding peace within herself, her family, her life, her purpose. This shift lifted my overall opinion of the book.
Many thanks to She Writes Press for the review copy provided via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
I’m an immigrant myself, raising my children in my adopted, and much-loved, country. Although we are white, and race is not an issue for us, nationality might be. It’s very interesting to read about other people’s experiences, especially from the second generation, as I often think about my own children and what they endure or might struggle with in the future.
I enjoyed the first third of the book very much. The stories were painful and real. I applaud the author’s bravery in speaking openly about her struggles and traumas. I understand the importance of speaking loudly about racism, sexism, stereotypes, cultural differences, and her experience as an army officer. These topics should be heard and talked about more.
Sadly, I related all too much to her experience of intrusive parental control. Her relationship with her parents and brother felt familiar to me, so I empathised with her anger, disappointment, and blame.
However, even for me, it was overwhelming at times. The constant blaming of others—particularly her mother—became uncomfortable to read. There was so much anger, negativity, and pessimism that I found myself irritated by the relentless attitude. Yes, I understand the pain, but the sky isn’t always dark. It didn’t feel like a fully balanced picture but rather a cherry-picking of the worst moments of her life. Her wounds seemed too fresh, too raw, and too painful still. I wanted to put a plaster over them.
I struggled to get through parts of the book, not only because of the overly negative tone but also because some stories felt repetitive and circular. More editorial refinement might have helped maintain reader engagement—enhancing some stories and cutting others. I rarely DNF books, but I seriously considered it halfway through. In the end, I decided to push through, and I’m glad I did.
By the final chapters, the author reached a meaningful realisation about her identity and culture. She let go of the rage and blame directed at her parents and society, finding peace within herself, her family, her life, her purpose. This shift lifted my overall opinion of the book.
Many thanks to She Writes Press for the review copy provided via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
February 28, 2025
⭐⭐⭐⭐💫
Thank you so much to Booksparks for sending me a physical copy <3
Kinda Korean: Stories from an American Life by Joan Sung was an unexpected profound read. As an Asian American (Canadian, but I digress) myself, I related to Joan's story on such a deep level. The experiences that she went through, the lessons she learned, it all hit so deep. Not only was it so relatable, but I was so invested in Joan's story that I flew through this book in pretty much one sitting. I highly, highly recommend reading this, especially if you're Asian American or just want to learn more about Asian American experiences.
Thank you so much to Booksparks for sending me a physical copy <3
Kinda Korean: Stories from an American Life by Joan Sung was an unexpected profound read. As an Asian American (Canadian, but I digress) myself, I related to Joan's story on such a deep level. The experiences that she went through, the lessons she learned, it all hit so deep. Not only was it so relatable, but I was so invested in Joan's story that I flew through this book in pretty much one sitting. I highly, highly recommend reading this, especially if you're Asian American or just want to learn more about Asian American experiences.
October 28, 2025
Collection of stories that explore the Asian American identity with nuanced and almost forgotten details that make up the fabric of life when growing up in a place where you feel other. I felt so seen in ways I never stopped to think about.
November 4, 2025
Honestly, I am quite convinced this is inklings of my “memoir” that I’m making but these tiger moms are pretty spot on
February 28, 2025
Talk about a major book hangover! Kinda Korean sure gave me that! I lapped up the author’s realizations and words of wisdom like a parched traveller in the middle of a desert! All 290 pages of this book were pure gold to me! I don’t read nonfiction too often, so to come across one that would affect me emotionally and mentally is both an overwhelming and enlightening experience. As an immigrant myself and a product of interracial marriage, I related and learned a lot by reading this. Definitely recommending this intense but thought-provoking coming-of-age memoir to everyone. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
February 21, 2025
Joan Sung doesn't hold back in describing her childhood, trauma, and relationship difficulties among others. Her parents immigrated to America from North Korea, struggled financially, and with the language barrier. I think it's totally awesome that Sung sobered up, served our country, got a PhD, is lovingly raising her own child, and is a national cultural competency conference presenter and consultant now. However, I felt like my definition of a tiger mom differs from that of the author's. In Kinda Korean I felt like when her volatile tiger mom was abusing her physically and emotionally, it was without the objective of achieving success be it academic- or employment-based; although Sung went on to get her doctorate degree it was independent of her parents. When her tiger mom was strict and demanding, she could be entirely correct that it was owing to intergenerational trauma, but it didn't seem to me to be motivated by competition or achievement.
I found the timeline jarring, I didn't understand Sung saying she had strived to be the perfect Korean up until junior high school, without having learned Korean or having made Korean friends. Sung brought up the death of her cat Jerry as an example of tragedy, but without having ever mentioned him before. She said she was pregnant, but then she and her husband used snow on the porch as their beer cooler. Her father worked two jobs: five days a week at one job and a part-time job on his two days off; but then "he'd spend the day in Canada and return home in the evening for dinner". I don't think teddy bears at a cemetery are forgotten; I think they are left there intentionally. And, I simply could not with the nonchalant murder of her office's pet fish.
My Asian-American family also suffers an inability to converse and communicate effectively, and as a result I'm sure I too am emotionally stunted, and maybe Sung is intentionally illustrating her own shortcomings rather than blaming others, making me the idiot for not grasping that. But, I laughed out loud at her blaming the pain of childbirth on her mother's never having told her anything about it ahead of time, "No warnings, no advice" rather than attributing it to her husband being 6'5" and her baby weighing 10 lbs at birth. But then even more hilarious, in the next paragraph admitting "She would tell me how I caused her so much pain in labor, and how birthdays should be more about what mothers went through." Mostly, I love that Sung cites Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong, because I think that book does a much better job of explaining everything than Kinda Korean does.
I found the timeline jarring, I didn't understand Sung saying she had strived to be the perfect Korean up until junior high school, without having learned Korean or having made Korean friends. Sung brought up the death of her cat Jerry as an example of tragedy, but without having ever mentioned him before. She said she was pregnant, but then she and her husband used snow on the porch as their beer cooler. Her father worked two jobs: five days a week at one job and a part-time job on his two days off; but then "he'd spend the day in Canada and return home in the evening for dinner". I don't think teddy bears at a cemetery are forgotten; I think they are left there intentionally. And, I simply could not with the nonchalant murder of her office's pet fish.
My Asian-American family also suffers an inability to converse and communicate effectively, and as a result I'm sure I too am emotionally stunted, and maybe Sung is intentionally illustrating her own shortcomings rather than blaming others, making me the idiot for not grasping that. But, I laughed out loud at her blaming the pain of childbirth on her mother's never having told her anything about it ahead of time, "No warnings, no advice" rather than attributing it to her husband being 6'5" and her baby weighing 10 lbs at birth. But then even more hilarious, in the next paragraph admitting "She would tell me how I caused her so much pain in labor, and how birthdays should be more about what mothers went through." Mostly, I love that Sung cites Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong, because I think that book does a much better job of explaining everything than Kinda Korean does.
March 6, 2025
I have been reading a lot New Adult and upper Young Adult fiction recently that had Korean characters as their lead and which focused on the Korean American coming of age as a child of immigrants. I know that these authors have shared so many aspects of growing up with the push and pull of language, culture, family history, familial and generational trauma but these were focused on the under 21 experiences of the main characters. But these opened a door that I want to see more though and my adult self was craving something written for an adult audience that would delve into the complexities of identity that only a memoir could present. And in Joan Sung's book I found that author and voice I had been looking for.
This book is told with such understanding, humor, and insight that only the word authentic can capture everything that I was able to find in this book. The presentation and discussion of sensitive topics like child- parental conflict, self understanding, ethnic food, the stereotypes facing Asian American Women, code switching with language use, and the impact of being Asian American during the COVID-19 era was real and raw leaving me rethinking what I though I knew and thankful for having my eyes opened to aspects of my world I have not have seen without Sung as my guide.
Written in a beautifully fluid and nuanced style, Joan Sung's Kinda Korean pulled me in on the first page with the writing and held me through her balance of humor, insight, honesty, and mature understanding by reflection of her life. In this collection of short essays that present her life and experiences was welcomed into her life with the joys and heartbreaks, hopes and despair that truly reflected a well examined life. At the same time I liked that the book allowed me to step in and out of it where I needed to go while at the same time seeing hiw each chapter connected to the larger narrative of the authors life. This design offered me breaks and pauses to contemplate Sung's life and experiences and process what I had just read. This a memoir I will not soon forget and one that truly is the reflection of life in all its bittersweet moments.
This book is told with such understanding, humor, and insight that only the word authentic can capture everything that I was able to find in this book. The presentation and discussion of sensitive topics like child- parental conflict, self understanding, ethnic food, the stereotypes facing Asian American Women, code switching with language use, and the impact of being Asian American during the COVID-19 era was real and raw leaving me rethinking what I though I knew and thankful for having my eyes opened to aspects of my world I have not have seen without Sung as my guide.
Written in a beautifully fluid and nuanced style, Joan Sung's Kinda Korean pulled me in on the first page with the writing and held me through her balance of humor, insight, honesty, and mature understanding by reflection of her life. In this collection of short essays that present her life and experiences was welcomed into her life with the joys and heartbreaks, hopes and despair that truly reflected a well examined life. At the same time I liked that the book allowed me to step in and out of it where I needed to go while at the same time seeing hiw each chapter connected to the larger narrative of the authors life. This design offered me breaks and pauses to contemplate Sung's life and experiences and process what I had just read. This a memoir I will not soon forget and one that truly is the reflection of life in all its bittersweet moments.
January 4, 2025
Kinda Korean is a mesmerising memoir that is deeply upsetting, insightful, and is an incredible exploration, or more appropriately, a revelation of cultural identity, family relationships, racism and misogyny. Sung writes her memoir in a way that pulls at your heart strings, whilst dampening the pain with humour.
Sung shares her experience of the discrimination and racism she experienced as an Asian American of immigrant parents from Korea, with a ‘tiger mum’ who expected her to be ‘the perfect, obedient Korean daughter’, and who felt ‘too Asian in my American community, yet too American living in my own house’.
As Sung navigates her own existence through her youth, she is honest in her naivety when it comes to steering her own experiences of alcoholism and as a victim of assault, and has incredible insight into the stereotyping and fetishising of herself and other Asian women, ‘I could never distinguish when white men were interested in me just for sex, to fulfil some exotic sexual fantasy or if they were genuinely interested in getting to know me better’, and ‘we Asian women were expendable because we are not people; we are objects for white men’s sexual objectification and desires’.
Sung has paced her memoir wonderfully as she goes through her schooling years, enters the Airforce and retrains to be a teacher, with chapter headings that really encapsulate the topic with an almost rhythmic transition from one chapter to another. Sung has written an immensely important piece of non-fiction which is not only a must-read for every Asian-American who is seeking to figure out their identity, but for everyone, regardless of race and gender, as we are all witnesses to the topics Sung highlights, directly or indirectly.
I am so grateful to have received the opportunity to read this riveting advanced copy from She Writes Press (via NetGalley).
Trigger Warnings:
Suicide
Addiction
Sexual Assault
Racism
Discrimination
Sung shares her experience of the discrimination and racism she experienced as an Asian American of immigrant parents from Korea, with a ‘tiger mum’ who expected her to be ‘the perfect, obedient Korean daughter’, and who felt ‘too Asian in my American community, yet too American living in my own house’.
As Sung navigates her own existence through her youth, she is honest in her naivety when it comes to steering her own experiences of alcoholism and as a victim of assault, and has incredible insight into the stereotyping and fetishising of herself and other Asian women, ‘I could never distinguish when white men were interested in me just for sex, to fulfil some exotic sexual fantasy or if they were genuinely interested in getting to know me better’, and ‘we Asian women were expendable because we are not people; we are objects for white men’s sexual objectification and desires’.
Sung has paced her memoir wonderfully as she goes through her schooling years, enters the Airforce and retrains to be a teacher, with chapter headings that really encapsulate the topic with an almost rhythmic transition from one chapter to another. Sung has written an immensely important piece of non-fiction which is not only a must-read for every Asian-American who is seeking to figure out their identity, but for everyone, regardless of race and gender, as we are all witnesses to the topics Sung highlights, directly or indirectly.
I am so grateful to have received the opportunity to read this riveting advanced copy from She Writes Press (via NetGalley).
Trigger Warnings:
Suicide
Addiction
Sexual Assault
Racism
Discrimination
February 21, 2025
Thank you to Sparkpoint Studio for this copy in exchange for an honest review.
Kinda Korean is a really special memoir. Joan's story instantly pulled me in and kept me interested in her life. There were times that I didn't like her at all and I think that goes to show that she didn't sugar coat her life. She isn't afraid of coming off bad she just wanted her story to be told.
I really loved the short chapters that focused on a specific moment in Joan's life. We read through the timeline of Joan's childhood, alcoholism, time in the military, and her parenting her young son.
I will say there were times I really struggled to like Joan. At some points it felt like Joan wasn't willing to take ownership for her own actions and accept that sometimes she's at fault for some of the things that happen in her life. One part that really got me was when she killed the office fish by poring chemicals into its water. I almost put the book down at that point and didn't finish. But I'm glad I didn't the final part of the book was my favorite. We see Joan becoming more understanding of her parents struggles and how they move through life.
Joan's father might be my favorite person in the book. He is such an interesting man and I feel Joan was unnessarly harsh on him. In the beginning of the book we hear about how he is never around because he is working two jobs to provide for his family. How he is always quiet and never really talks because of Joan's mother. But once we find out about his life he is so interesting. Honestly if he wrote a memoir about his life I would be clamoring to read it.
Overall this book is an interesting view into the Asian American experience and I really appreciated Joan's view into the Covid 19 pandemic and sexual assualt throughout her life.
Kinda Korean is a really special memoir. Joan's story instantly pulled me in and kept me interested in her life. There were times that I didn't like her at all and I think that goes to show that she didn't sugar coat her life. She isn't afraid of coming off bad she just wanted her story to be told.
I really loved the short chapters that focused on a specific moment in Joan's life. We read through the timeline of Joan's childhood, alcoholism, time in the military, and her parenting her young son.
I will say there were times I really struggled to like Joan. At some points it felt like Joan wasn't willing to take ownership for her own actions and accept that sometimes she's at fault for some of the things that happen in her life. One part that really got me was when she killed the office fish by poring chemicals into its water. I almost put the book down at that point and didn't finish. But I'm glad I didn't the final part of the book was my favorite. We see Joan becoming more understanding of her parents struggles and how they move through life.
Joan's father might be my favorite person in the book. He is such an interesting man and I feel Joan was unnessarly harsh on him. In the beginning of the book we hear about how he is never around because he is working two jobs to provide for his family. How he is always quiet and never really talks because of Joan's mother. But once we find out about his life he is so interesting. Honestly if he wrote a memoir about his life I would be clamoring to read it.
Overall this book is an interesting view into the Asian American experience and I really appreciated Joan's view into the Covid 19 pandemic and sexual assualt throughout her life.
May 11, 2025
Forgot how this book came onto my radar, but it came through my library holds in time for Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month in the US so I was excited to read it. Had never heard of the author, but was curious to read up on Sung's story. It is a memoir from her childhood to relatively present day, where she unpacks her family's story and history as well as her attempts to fit in. It is, of course, not always easy navigating the world as a member of more than one marginalized group.
It is not an easy thing to do when you also have a so-called "Tiger Mom" (a strict and demanding mom who places pressure on the child to be good in school, at the expense of their emotional well being, social life, etc.). This does not improve as time goes on, and then Sung must deal with this in school, work, etc. She deals with sexism, anti-Asian racism, fetishism, etc. All the while this is as she is trying to find her place and role in the world.
Ultimately I found this very dull. Maybe because I was not in the right space for it, maybe because at times it is legitimately confusing (in many ways it's really more of a collection of essays rather than a formal memoir). It was also fairly repetitive--it did feel at times Sung was using the book to work through her issues with her mom, which might have been more appropriate for a therapy session.
I think if you have a background similar to Sung's or like books in this vein, this could be a good read. Be forewarned that there are heavy issues including those already mentioned: sexual assault, drug/alcohol use, the justice system, intergenerational trauma, classicism, etc. All of this is part of the author's story and is unavoidable. But if it is something you can handle, this might not be a bad read.
Borrowed from the library and that was best for me.
It is not an easy thing to do when you also have a so-called "Tiger Mom" (a strict and demanding mom who places pressure on the child to be good in school, at the expense of their emotional well being, social life, etc.). This does not improve as time goes on, and then Sung must deal with this in school, work, etc. She deals with sexism, anti-Asian racism, fetishism, etc. All the while this is as she is trying to find her place and role in the world.
Ultimately I found this very dull. Maybe because I was not in the right space for it, maybe because at times it is legitimately confusing (in many ways it's really more of a collection of essays rather than a formal memoir). It was also fairly repetitive--it did feel at times Sung was using the book to work through her issues with her mom, which might have been more appropriate for a therapy session.
I think if you have a background similar to Sung's or like books in this vein, this could be a good read. Be forewarned that there are heavy issues including those already mentioned: sexual assault, drug/alcohol use, the justice system, intergenerational trauma, classicism, etc. All of this is part of the author's story and is unavoidable. But if it is something you can handle, this might not be a bad read.
Borrowed from the library and that was best for me.
February 23, 2025
This memoir was Kinda Incredible.
Each chapter in this book was a short bite-sized exploration into one particular moment of Sung's life, but all of them were linked and together painted the big picture of how each moment led to the next and shaped her life. These chapters started off light but very quickly turned into heavy topics that Sung explores thoroughly of how racism, sexism, identity, trauma and other issues are interconnected, and in particular how her relationship with her mother lead to her development. I love how frank and vulnerable she was, and it pulled at my heartstrings with her confessions, and at my memories upon her reflection on her family dynamics.
There were a lot of moments in her memoir that were relatable to me as an Asian-Canadian. Yet there's also moments when it was deeply uncomfortable as Sung examines the twisted "privileges", stemmed from racism, that Asians enjoy compared to other POCs, and how it could also be a double-edged sword to us. It was a thorough and deep dive into this aspect, and it's one of my favourite things about this memoir as it forced me to reflect on how those perspectives shaped my own behavior as well.
Kinda Korean was a poignant and powerful glimpse in the life and experiences of a first generation Korean-American. Her frank, emotional yet also educational dissection of her struggles shines a light on issues related to the Asian diaspora in the Western world that, even to this day, we can reflect and learn from.
[Thank you BookSparks for the gifted copy and the opportunity to participate in the #kindakorean #WinterPopUp tour]
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Each chapter in this book was a short bite-sized exploration into one particular moment of Sung's life, but all of them were linked and together painted the big picture of how each moment led to the next and shaped her life. These chapters started off light but very quickly turned into heavy topics that Sung explores thoroughly of how racism, sexism, identity, trauma and other issues are interconnected, and in particular how her relationship with her mother lead to her development. I love how frank and vulnerable she was, and it pulled at my heartstrings with her confessions, and at my memories upon her reflection on her family dynamics.
There were a lot of moments in her memoir that were relatable to me as an Asian-Canadian. Yet there's also moments when it was deeply uncomfortable as Sung examines the twisted "privileges", stemmed from racism, that Asians enjoy compared to other POCs, and how it could also be a double-edged sword to us. It was a thorough and deep dive into this aspect, and it's one of my favourite things about this memoir as it forced me to reflect on how those perspectives shaped my own behavior as well.
Kinda Korean was a poignant and powerful glimpse in the life and experiences of a first generation Korean-American. Her frank, emotional yet also educational dissection of her struggles shines a light on issues related to the Asian diaspora in the Western world that, even to this day, we can reflect and learn from.
[Thank you BookSparks for the gifted copy and the opportunity to participate in the #kindakorean #WinterPopUp tour]
March 4, 2025
A very detailed and emotional depiction of growing up Korean American. I appreciated that the author didn't hold back; several difficult topics like generational trauma, sexual assault, and racism are taken on with courage. It takes a lot to pour all of these experiences out on the page. But what I struggled with in the book was the seemingly random order of the stories. I felt the book could have been a bit more organized, whether sticking strictly to chronological order or dissecting the book into themes.
As an Asian American myself, I did not necessarily disagree with any of the arguments in the book. Asian hate crimes are happening. The model minority myth is damaging. The generational divide between parents who grew up in Asia and children who grew up in America is challenging. However, there were times where I was frustrated with the author for pinning everything that happened to her on her Asian identity, rather than realizing that the human experience is complex and diverse, and some struggles are due to individual circumstances.
One detail I wanted to challenge was her mother being called a Tiger Mom. A Tiger Mom is one who is strict and demanding of her children in the pursuit of extremely high achievement; there is a motive of competition and seemingly unattainable standards, all justified in the mother's desire for their child to succeed. I don't think Joan's mother matches that, at least from what is shown in this book. She is domineering and difficult for sure, but I never got the sense that this behavior was motivated by a desire to see Joan prevail over her peers; instead, she seemed to abuse and dislike her daughter no matter what Joan did.
By the end, the book does show a lot of growth and insight on the part of the author, and I particularly loved the part about appreciating her father more. It was touching.
As an Asian American myself, I did not necessarily disagree with any of the arguments in the book. Asian hate crimes are happening. The model minority myth is damaging. The generational divide between parents who grew up in Asia and children who grew up in America is challenging. However, there were times where I was frustrated with the author for pinning everything that happened to her on her Asian identity, rather than realizing that the human experience is complex and diverse, and some struggles are due to individual circumstances.
One detail I wanted to challenge was her mother being called a Tiger Mom. A Tiger Mom is one who is strict and demanding of her children in the pursuit of extremely high achievement; there is a motive of competition and seemingly unattainable standards, all justified in the mother's desire for their child to succeed. I don't think Joan's mother matches that, at least from what is shown in this book. She is domineering and difficult for sure, but I never got the sense that this behavior was motivated by a desire to see Joan prevail over her peers; instead, she seemed to abuse and dislike her daughter no matter what Joan did.
By the end, the book does show a lot of growth and insight on the part of the author, and I particularly loved the part about appreciating her father more. It was touching.
November 17, 2024
*I received a copy of this book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for this opportunity*
In this deeply personal and incredibly moving memoir, author Joan Sung tackles not only her contentious relationship with her North Korean mother but also her own relationship with America. Raised in Seattle, Washington, Sung starts by describing a childhood with an emotionally unavailable and volatile mother-- physical and emotional abuse are only made worse by the mother and daughter's inability to speak the same language fluently. Sung discusses struggling to realize her own identity; she’s to American to be a good Korean daughter, but not American enough for her white peers.
Later in the book and her life, Sung discusses the rampant over-sexualization and fetishization of Asian women, the harmful stereotypes that are still ingrained in how society treats and what it expects of Asian Americans, as well as the more recent racism against Asians as a direct result of COVID-19 and other racially motivated acts of violence. An Air-Force veteran, Sung provides insight as a Korean American woman working in the military-- an environment well known for its rampant sexual harassment and sexism. At the end of the book, Sung, now the mother to a mixed-race son, reflects on her own relationship with her mother as well as the life her son will have because of his heritage.
As America enters into a new chapter (one many of us are rightly scared and angry to begin), stories like Sung's-- the experiences of people that our society wants to overlook-- will be more important than ever.
In this deeply personal and incredibly moving memoir, author Joan Sung tackles not only her contentious relationship with her North Korean mother but also her own relationship with America. Raised in Seattle, Washington, Sung starts by describing a childhood with an emotionally unavailable and volatile mother-- physical and emotional abuse are only made worse by the mother and daughter's inability to speak the same language fluently. Sung discusses struggling to realize her own identity; she’s to American to be a good Korean daughter, but not American enough for her white peers.
Later in the book and her life, Sung discusses the rampant over-sexualization and fetishization of Asian women, the harmful stereotypes that are still ingrained in how society treats and what it expects of Asian Americans, as well as the more recent racism against Asians as a direct result of COVID-19 and other racially motivated acts of violence. An Air-Force veteran, Sung provides insight as a Korean American woman working in the military-- an environment well known for its rampant sexual harassment and sexism. At the end of the book, Sung, now the mother to a mixed-race son, reflects on her own relationship with her mother as well as the life her son will have because of his heritage.
As America enters into a new chapter (one many of us are rightly scared and angry to begin), stories like Sung's-- the experiences of people that our society wants to overlook-- will be more important than ever.
November 29, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!
This was a really interesting and often heartbreaking read about the reality of growing up as an Asian American in the US, and learning to manage all of the terrible things that people say and do as a result of racism, whether overt, covert, or just plain ingrained in society. There is a lot to be said for Sung's portrayal of navigating life (particularly adolescence) with immigrant parent, and I related very heavily to the 'no sleepovers allowed' rule, as well as quite a few of the other points she raised regarding her family.
The later part of the book becomes even heavier, with Sung relating her experience through the COVID19 pandemic, as well as the sexualisation and perception that followed her through her adult life. Reading the part about her son, Gabriel, and doing her best to find representation, any kind of representation, in the library was so terribly sad. One thing that must be noted is that this book is a perfect example of that representation that means so much to younger people struggling with the same points of identity that Sung does in this book.
I also really enjoyed this book structurally - it is a series of small vignettes instead of being purely linear, and it just makes the book flow so much better. I do wish it were maybe a little longer, but it is well worth the read.
This was a really interesting and often heartbreaking read about the reality of growing up as an Asian American in the US, and learning to manage all of the terrible things that people say and do as a result of racism, whether overt, covert, or just plain ingrained in society. There is a lot to be said for Sung's portrayal of navigating life (particularly adolescence) with immigrant parent, and I related very heavily to the 'no sleepovers allowed' rule, as well as quite a few of the other points she raised regarding her family.
The later part of the book becomes even heavier, with Sung relating her experience through the COVID19 pandemic, as well as the sexualisation and perception that followed her through her adult life. Reading the part about her son, Gabriel, and doing her best to find representation, any kind of representation, in the library was so terribly sad. One thing that must be noted is that this book is a perfect example of that representation that means so much to younger people struggling with the same points of identity that Sung does in this book.
I also really enjoyed this book structurally - it is a series of small vignettes instead of being purely linear, and it just makes the book flow so much better. I do wish it were maybe a little longer, but it is well worth the read.
December 28, 2024
At first, this book will be compared to Crying in H Mart, but the two differ for me on many levels. Yes, it is about a young Korean American who has problems with her mother and a rebellious streak, but the similarities end here. Kinda Korean has a little more Trainspotting and SA and is written as a series of events in the author's life that shaped her in some way. I know that’s a lot of what an autobiography is, but this one felt more choppy, almost as if the chapters could stand alone.
Kinda Korean touches on many hard subjects from someone who has dealt with and continues to deal with them. The idea of not being American enough that many POC face, along with the intense pressure to assimilate combined with the pull to stay connected with one’s culture. The microaggressions Asian American women face on a daily basis and internalization of intergenerational and societal trauma in a way that kept me interested and able to read, even when she was discussing very difficult topics. Alcohol addiction, abuse, assault, suicide, and trauma are all explored within the pages of this novel.
I found Kinda Korean to be very relatable and written in a way that makes it approachable. Joan Sung's story is unique, but it shares many similarities with the stories of Asian Americans.
Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Kinda Korean touches on many hard subjects from someone who has dealt with and continues to deal with them. The idea of not being American enough that many POC face, along with the intense pressure to assimilate combined with the pull to stay connected with one’s culture. The microaggressions Asian American women face on a daily basis and internalization of intergenerational and societal trauma in a way that kept me interested and able to read, even when she was discussing very difficult topics. Alcohol addiction, abuse, assault, suicide, and trauma are all explored within the pages of this novel.
I found Kinda Korean to be very relatable and written in a way that makes it approachable. Joan Sung's story is unique, but it shares many similarities with the stories of Asian Americans.
Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
February 23, 2025
"Take ownership of your identity. That feeling of being displaced? Like you don't fit in into either culture? That in-between space is what it means to be Asian American. Take ownership of it. Because that is who you are."
Joan Sung has written a brutally honest memoir sharing powerful personal insights into her life as a daughter of immigrants. She talks openly about generational trauma and her fractured relationship with her mother. It all comes down to that fact that Sung's mother did not know how to raise her because she wasn't raised herself. Sung's father's background and story were intriguing.
There were times when the book became frustrating to read due to the choices that Sung made; relying heavily on alcohol as an emotional crutch. I'm so glad that she managed to navigate her life towards the life that she has now.
I've also come to the conclusion that all Asian cultures are the same when it comes to their approach to cooking. Everything is done by estimation and the, "five seconds of soya sauce," was quite amusing.
I found the writing to be quite choppy at times. I'm not sure why the cat hadn't been mentioned at all over the years until the writer found out about its death.
NetGalley and She Writes Press provided me with this book in exchange for an honest review.
Joan Sung has written a brutally honest memoir sharing powerful personal insights into her life as a daughter of immigrants. She talks openly about generational trauma and her fractured relationship with her mother. It all comes down to that fact that Sung's mother did not know how to raise her because she wasn't raised herself. Sung's father's background and story were intriguing.
There were times when the book became frustrating to read due to the choices that Sung made; relying heavily on alcohol as an emotional crutch. I'm so glad that she managed to navigate her life towards the life that she has now.
I've also come to the conclusion that all Asian cultures are the same when it comes to their approach to cooking. Everything is done by estimation and the, "five seconds of soya sauce," was quite amusing.
I found the writing to be quite choppy at times. I'm not sure why the cat hadn't been mentioned at all over the years until the writer found out about its death.
NetGalley and She Writes Press provided me with this book in exchange for an honest review.
February 25, 2025
Thank you to the author, She Writes Press and NetGalley, for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This memoir told in short essay form, mostly chronological but with more of a spotlight on incidents than a continuous narrative, is stunning. The author draws back the curtain on what it can mean to grow up as a first-generation American with Korean parents. Contending with casual racism from an early age, weighed down by the expectations of her parents and the Korean community on the one hand, and society as a whole on the other hand, and being raised by a traumatised tiger mom who rules with an iron fist... it's heartbreaking and illuminating. In the author's teenage/young adult years, we see how the deep divide and miscommunication between the author and her mother lead to self-destructive behavior as the only way to opt out of the rigidity of her life, before she joins the military, and then gets her doctorate and becomes a professor in academia. In both environments, she again encounters racism and misogyny - I am not a member of the Asian diaspora and found this book invaluable in opening my eyes to things I had never thought about before. As the book ends, we find the author musing on how to raise her own mixed-race son, and the hope inherent in that. Is this book hard to read at times? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely yes!
This memoir told in short essay form, mostly chronological but with more of a spotlight on incidents than a continuous narrative, is stunning. The author draws back the curtain on what it can mean to grow up as a first-generation American with Korean parents. Contending with casual racism from an early age, weighed down by the expectations of her parents and the Korean community on the one hand, and society as a whole on the other hand, and being raised by a traumatised tiger mom who rules with an iron fist... it's heartbreaking and illuminating. In the author's teenage/young adult years, we see how the deep divide and miscommunication between the author and her mother lead to self-destructive behavior as the only way to opt out of the rigidity of her life, before she joins the military, and then gets her doctorate and becomes a professor in academia. In both environments, she again encounters racism and misogyny - I am not a member of the Asian diaspora and found this book invaluable in opening my eyes to things I had never thought about before. As the book ends, we find the author musing on how to raise her own mixed-race son, and the hope inherent in that. Is this book hard to read at times? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely yes!
December 27, 2024
This book is pretty much everything I thought it would be, and I adore that.
This book very clearly outlines a demographic of people that aren't necessarily addressed as often as they should be. This book addresses in a brutally honest and transparent way what it is like to be Asian American, having two cultures but also none. It does a beautiful job of explaining how racism has a double edge for Asian Americans, and how it looks different than that of racism towards other races. It is a great representation of how women are treated poorly in male dominated spaces, or really any spaces at all. All of these things made complete sense how Sung explained them, and in the examples from their life.
The one that got me in this book was raising a biracial child. I have a biracial child, and I felt so much of that portion in my soul. And I think I learned ways for me to handle that responsibility from this book, which I will always appreciate.
It feels a bit like it was written out of order, some things are explained (almost in the exact same phrasing) multiple times, which is what makes me feel like it is a bit disjointed, but maybe it's also just to keep saying it, to really get it into the readers head.
I would definitely recommend this book. No questions asked.
This book very clearly outlines a demographic of people that aren't necessarily addressed as often as they should be. This book addresses in a brutally honest and transparent way what it is like to be Asian American, having two cultures but also none. It does a beautiful job of explaining how racism has a double edge for Asian Americans, and how it looks different than that of racism towards other races. It is a great representation of how women are treated poorly in male dominated spaces, or really any spaces at all. All of these things made complete sense how Sung explained them, and in the examples from their life.
The one that got me in this book was raising a biracial child. I have a biracial child, and I felt so much of that portion in my soul. And I think I learned ways for me to handle that responsibility from this book, which I will always appreciate.
It feels a bit like it was written out of order, some things are explained (almost in the exact same phrasing) multiple times, which is what makes me feel like it is a bit disjointed, but maybe it's also just to keep saying it, to really get it into the readers head.
I would definitely recommend this book. No questions asked.
January 16, 2025
This novel is about a Korean-American girl's immigrant Tiger Mom, but it's about much more too that's just as, if not more, important. It's about growing up Asian in a society that "fetishizes" and "hypersexualizes" Asian woman. The writer discusses being assaulted so many times and "brainwashed" to believe that you should live in shame for who you are.
I found the memoir enlightening about experiences and challenges faced by triple threats - having immigrant parents, being Asian, and being an Asian woman. To be made to feel that "being different" is always a bad thing. It was interesting that even a positive for Asians, being considered studious and hardworking, could be turned into a stereotype that implied that Asians could not experience racial discrimination.
The honest and forthright stories are compelling, amazing, and disturbing. It's a good thing that so many Asian women are finally speaking up, writing books, memoirs, histories that tell their stories and show their points of view and experiences.
I would encourage all readers to read this book, to understand in more depth the immigrant experience in the U.S., which may be similar to those in other countries as well.
I found the memoir enlightening about experiences and challenges faced by triple threats - having immigrant parents, being Asian, and being an Asian woman. To be made to feel that "being different" is always a bad thing. It was interesting that even a positive for Asians, being considered studious and hardworking, could be turned into a stereotype that implied that Asians could not experience racial discrimination.
The honest and forthright stories are compelling, amazing, and disturbing. It's a good thing that so many Asian women are finally speaking up, writing books, memoirs, histories that tell their stories and show their points of view and experiences.
I would encourage all readers to read this book, to understand in more depth the immigrant experience in the U.S., which may be similar to those in other countries as well.
January 22, 2025
If you ask Joan Sung to describe herself, she will say "Kinda Korean" hence the title of the book.
I love memoirs. Especially ones with someone who had a childhood very different from mine. Joan struggled with being considered too Asian at school and not Asian enough at home. She deals with tremendous pressure from her mom. As she moves through her school life, she finds herself feeling lost and struggles with drinking. The book also describes several incidents of sexual assault.
I feel for Joan and anyone else who has gone through sexual abuse. Especially in a society that blames the victim more than the abuser. If you are currently struggling with the effects of sexual abuse, I recommend preparing yourself before reading this or waiting until you are in a better place.
I love the title and the cover but I had a hard time getting through the book. Some of the writing felt disjointed to me and I had to force myself to finish it. I didn't think the writing was bad but maybe the way topics went back and forth didn't work for me as much.
Thank you to NetGalley, Joan Sung, and She Writes Press for the opportunity to read Kinda Korean. I have written this review voluntarily and honestly.
I love memoirs. Especially ones with someone who had a childhood very different from mine. Joan struggled with being considered too Asian at school and not Asian enough at home. She deals with tremendous pressure from her mom. As she moves through her school life, she finds herself feeling lost and struggles with drinking. The book also describes several incidents of sexual assault.
I feel for Joan and anyone else who has gone through sexual abuse. Especially in a society that blames the victim more than the abuser. If you are currently struggling with the effects of sexual abuse, I recommend preparing yourself before reading this or waiting until you are in a better place.
I love the title and the cover but I had a hard time getting through the book. Some of the writing felt disjointed to me and I had to force myself to finish it. I didn't think the writing was bad but maybe the way topics went back and forth didn't work for me as much.
Thank you to NetGalley, Joan Sung, and She Writes Press for the opportunity to read Kinda Korean. I have written this review voluntarily and honestly.
February 21, 2025
Thanks to @booksparks + @drjoansung for the gifted copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
#memoir #nonfiction #WinterPopUp #KindaKorean
I hate this book! Honestly, in a good way, lol. I hate it because it's almost as if I'm reading my diary, or my head and heart explode on the pages that I'm reading. Starting off with multigenerational crap and not being able to fit in to some "mold," whatever that "perfect" mold is. This all sounds so melodramatic, but I think anyone who comes from a different background, especially when you're not born in America or born in America and are from a different culture, has this feeling of belonging. With everything going on in the world right now, that's kind of the sense of feeling I'm getting right now. While being objectified or fetishized is a thing in the Asian community/culture, I would hate to think that this doesn't happen to women in general. Women (and men) get objectified on a daily basis. Especially from what I've been reading recently, it's becoming extremely scarier than it was before. There's a lot in this book that I resonated with and some that I didn't. However, for it being one of my nonfictions this year, it really is worth reading. I've been into memoirs lately, and this didn't disappoint.
#memoir #nonfiction #WinterPopUp #KindaKorean
I hate this book! Honestly, in a good way, lol. I hate it because it's almost as if I'm reading my diary, or my head and heart explode on the pages that I'm reading. Starting off with multigenerational crap and not being able to fit in to some "mold," whatever that "perfect" mold is. This all sounds so melodramatic, but I think anyone who comes from a different background, especially when you're not born in America or born in America and are from a different culture, has this feeling of belonging. With everything going on in the world right now, that's kind of the sense of feeling I'm getting right now. While being objectified or fetishized is a thing in the Asian community/culture, I would hate to think that this doesn't happen to women in general. Women (and men) get objectified on a daily basis. Especially from what I've been reading recently, it's becoming extremely scarier than it was before. There's a lot in this book that I resonated with and some that I didn't. However, for it being one of my nonfictions this year, it really is worth reading. I've been into memoirs lately, and this didn't disappoint.
Read
February 27, 2025In Kinda Korean, Joan Sung shares a deeply personal and intimate look at her life as the daughter of Korean immigrants in the United States. Each chapter of this book is a short-story glimpse into the author’s life. She candidly and unflinchingly touches on a number of heavy themes, including sexism, sexual assault, parental physical and emotional abuse, and racism.
Sung’s observations on racism and cultural identity are particularly stirring. She relates her experiences in the in-between space of being a daughter who’s not “Asian enough” to be a good Korean daughter to her parents but who is also somehow “too Asian” to fit in with her white counterparts. She examines the model minority myth as well as the fetishization of Asian women and the ostracism and violence Asian-Americans experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Sung is definitely a talented writer, and although the narrative and themes are deep, they are extremely well-written and engaging to read. Exceptionally thought-provoking; I’ll be sitting with my feelings about this memoir for awhile. A great addition to Asian diaspora literature and highly recommended for fans of Crying in H Mart.
Thanks to BookSparks and She Writes Press for the review copy!
Sung’s observations on racism and cultural identity are particularly stirring. She relates her experiences in the in-between space of being a daughter who’s not “Asian enough” to be a good Korean daughter to her parents but who is also somehow “too Asian” to fit in with her white counterparts. She examines the model minority myth as well as the fetishization of Asian women and the ostracism and violence Asian-Americans experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Sung is definitely a talented writer, and although the narrative and themes are deep, they are extremely well-written and engaging to read. Exceptionally thought-provoking; I’ll be sitting with my feelings about this memoir for awhile. A great addition to Asian diaspora literature and highly recommended for fans of Crying in H Mart.
Thanks to BookSparks and She Writes Press for the review copy!
March 1, 2025
Thank you to @booksparks and the author for a gifted copy of this book.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am still processing this book. If you want a look into life as an American born Asian, this book pulls no punches and shows you the good, the bad, and the ugly. In this book, Joan Sung tells us stories from her childhood into adulthood of her experience in the Asian diaspora. I'm always super hesitant to say that Asian Americans have all the same experiences (obviously, we are not a monolith), but there was so much in this book I related to. From the dog eating comments to fetishizing of asian women to the rise in crimes against asians due to the rhetoric around the pandemic. Being full Korean and being born in American and not speaking Korean, causing feelings of not being "Korean enough," is something I relate to all too well as an American born Filipina.
Another topic I really appreciated is the idea of rising biracial children. On this topic, I'll share this quote from the book:
"The thing is, it is not problematic to raise a child to believe he is white, but it is severely problematic to a raise a child to believe he is just white. White is not a culture, not a nationality. The term was originally meant as a way to label a superior race, to champion over blacks during segregation. White is a social construct that was created to justify a behavior and a mentality. It's a dangerous game to coach a child to embrace his whiteness.
Because when we do this, and when these white children grow up and are inevitably asked to define their heritage and their culture, they are only left to claim America as their country. Which reinforces the idea that this country is theirs, and the rest of us are all visitors. ... White power and white nationalism are not movements that celebrate their heritage, because it doesn't exist. Since they had not cultural roots, the claims bits of our cultures as their own through cultural appropriation and built a fake culture that is only a few hundred years old. As a result, what they are celebrating in a history of racism and oppression. This is why it is important to teach children the origin and the country of their ancestry, not their skin color."
This was such a powerful, educational book. And I think everyone should read it.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am still processing this book. If you want a look into life as an American born Asian, this book pulls no punches and shows you the good, the bad, and the ugly. In this book, Joan Sung tells us stories from her childhood into adulthood of her experience in the Asian diaspora. I'm always super hesitant to say that Asian Americans have all the same experiences (obviously, we are not a monolith), but there was so much in this book I related to. From the dog eating comments to fetishizing of asian women to the rise in crimes against asians due to the rhetoric around the pandemic. Being full Korean and being born in American and not speaking Korean, causing feelings of not being "Korean enough," is something I relate to all too well as an American born Filipina.
Another topic I really appreciated is the idea of rising biracial children. On this topic, I'll share this quote from the book:
"The thing is, it is not problematic to raise a child to believe he is white, but it is severely problematic to a raise a child to believe he is just white. White is not a culture, not a nationality. The term was originally meant as a way to label a superior race, to champion over blacks during segregation. White is a social construct that was created to justify a behavior and a mentality. It's a dangerous game to coach a child to embrace his whiteness.
Because when we do this, and when these white children grow up and are inevitably asked to define their heritage and their culture, they are only left to claim America as their country. Which reinforces the idea that this country is theirs, and the rest of us are all visitors. ... White power and white nationalism are not movements that celebrate their heritage, because it doesn't exist. Since they had not cultural roots, the claims bits of our cultures as their own through cultural appropriation and built a fake culture that is only a few hundred years old. As a result, what they are celebrating in a history of racism and oppression. This is why it is important to teach children the origin and the country of their ancestry, not their skin color."
This was such a powerful, educational book. And I think everyone should read it.
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