Blueprint for Belonging: The 5 Relationships Jesus Needed and Why You Need Them Too

by Alli Patterson

Your relationships are the key to a thriving life that satisfies your soul.
Don't settle for lonely.

Despite technology that allows for more connection than any previous generation, our culture is drowning in loneliness. Human beings are deeply relational, longing to be known, welcomed, encouraged, and connected. Yet most of us go through life lacking some of the key relationships we need in order to feel fulfilled. The answer to our loneliness problem is not found in the quantity of relationships, but rather in finding and growing five specific types of relationships, which make up a blueprint for belonging revealed in the life of Jesus.  
 
Mining the Gospels for insight, pastor and author Alli Patterson unveils the five types of relationships, cultivated by Jesus, that you still need

· your core
· your circle
· your comrades
· your community
· your crowd

She guides you through a redesign of your own relational world according to this divine blueprint so you can discover authentic, restorative relationships within each of these types that will truly satisfy your soul.


"We all know what it is to feel lonely--but to understand the kind of lonely we feel and what to do about it? That's something very few of us ever figure out. But Alli Patterson has. In Blueprint for Belonging, Alli guides us through both the hardship and the hope of God's design for us to belong, and how each of us can find it."--Kadi Cole, leadership consultant, executive coach, and author of Developing Female Leaders. KadiCole.com

Genres: Christian Living, Christian

224 pages, Paperback

Published January 21, 2025

About the author

Alli Patterson is a teacher, author, wife and mom of four out of Cincinnati, Ohio. She currently serves as a Teaching Pastor at Crossroads Church on the national teaching team. Alli is the leader of Woman Camp and founder of the Ignite Conference out of her passion for equipping women in the Kingdom of God.

As a lifetime learner and lover of scripture with a seminary degree from Dallas Theological Seminary, Alli loves to create ways for others to know and love Jesus through his Word. She has created a fresh approach to Bible study in the release of 'Spirit-Led Bible Study,' coming February 2026. She has written two books, How to Stay Standing and Blueprint for Belonging - both providing practical help translating Biblical principles into real life. Alli speaks at events and conferences and enjoys podcasting. She is a runner and die hard Buckeye football fan who loves Mexican food almost as much as her bratty calico cat.

Reviews

[Katie Betts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite living in an age of constant connection, loneliness is at an all-time high. Alli Patterson explores five key relationships modeled by Jesus—your core, circle, comrades, community, and crowd—offering a blueprint for belonging. Through biblical insight and practical guidance, she helps readers cultivate meaningful, restorative relationships that truly satisfy the soul.

While simple at times, this is an excellent overview of how Jesus structured His relationships and why. I could easily identify times in my life when one of these layers of relationships was missing and how it affected me. Feeling a sense of belonging—whether among those who know you best or even in a crowd of strangers—deeply impacts our soul and our understanding of purpose.

I picked up this book because I want to do a series at my young adults ministry (I’m a YA pastor) on friendships and building relationships. This book offers a solid framework for the types of relationships we need and presents them in a logical order. However, I plan to supplement each of the five categories with practical application from other books, like Jennie Allen’s Find Your People and Mel Robbins’ section on friendship in The Let Them Theory.

Thank you @revellbooks for the eARC 🩷

Perfect for you if you like:
Building intentional relationships
Learning from Jesus’ life model
Exploring how faith shapes connection and belonging

Similar to:
Find Your People by Jennie Allen
Made for People by Justin Whitmel Early (I have not read)f
Friendship—It’s Complicated by Andi Andrew

[Jennifer Vahsholtz · Rating 5 out of 5]

So great! Highly recommend for anyone wanting to be a better friend or have more meaningful and intentional friends of all types.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super helpful and pragmatic, lots of personal author stories, and told in a very straightforward and unfussy manner. Reading this gave me language to pin down the emotional swirl of changing relationships over the years.

It also allowed me so much freedom about how to practically hold expectations and definitions loosely, while also highlighting the importance of recognizing who goes where in each realm of relationship: center, core, circle, comrade, community, crowd, and counterfeit. (Technically those first and last ones aren't officially part of the blueprint, but are just as equally foundational in the overall illustration.)

I'm really grateful that I got to read this with a table full of other women through my church's community group, in conjunction with the online book discussion guide!

[Meagan | The Chapter House · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a practical and helpful read! I went in a little skeptical, but was quickly impressed with Patterson's conversational style, the topic's rootedness in Scripture and Christ's relationships with his disciples, and the plethora of helpful tips.

I'm looking forward to revisiting the book post release, when the appendix is available, and making additional notes. I'm about a year into a cross-country move, and now that I'm reasonably confident I'll be here for a while, it helps to have a blueprint (lol) for moving forward.

I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Karen Shilvock-Cinefro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Breaking down our connection to belonging is well done into five categories: Core, Circle, Comrades, Community, and Crowd.
Biblical examples are included with each chapter, explaining how Jesus encountered each of these earthly categories.
Depending on your own circumstance and stage in life Alli’s sharing of personal experiences can be a perfect fit or far from where you are at.
Looking at this from an academic perspective I recommend reading books by Robert Putnam, namely, Bowling Alone & Better Together.

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like how it broke down the different of circles of of relationships. It was a very good way of thinking about it you know putting your prioritizing relationships and also I really enjoyed the way. She linked it right back to Jesus and how he evidenced all these types of relationships in his life. There were some good questions at the end for a group discussion. It wasn’t a wow book, but it was a thought provoking book. I think I have probably changed a little bit of my relationship behavior based on it.

[Krissy Little · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful, practical tool for assessing relationships, and building a more fulfilling network. Easy, quick read. Highly recommend!

[Adventuresofabusymom.com · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good takeaways on different types of friendships and how we need them all.

[Kim Bell Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Core, circle, comrades, community, and counterfeits are the connects we need or don’t need. Recognize the relationships you have, which leads to where you belong.

[Ashley Mayhew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical!