Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation

by Doug Bolton

An essential guide to restoring our children’s behavioral health and wellbeing

Over the past decade, children’s mental health challenges have reached epidemic levels—stress, anxiety, childhood depression, and suicide are at unprecedented high rates. Amid high-stakes pressure for kids to succeed, parents and teachers have never needed a road map to healthy child development more urgently. And as psychologist and educator Doug Bolton explains in this eye-opening and powerful guide, underlying our modern-day stresses is an even more pervasive We’re relying on practices that are not in line with what science tells us about how to truly motivate children and help them thrive.
As Bolton persuasively argues, we need to step away from parenting and teaching based on controlling our children with incentives and punishments—they focus on short-term compliance at the cost of health development. Instead, creating healthy and strongly bonded communities for our children, both in our own families and in our schools, is key to their emotional well-being, and their success in life. Untethered offers tools to help us create these communities so our kids develop healthy attachments and learn emotional regulation, helping them feel more connected, less anxious, more included, less shamed, and more securely grounded. The power of communities is not only that they enhance our wellness—they buffer us from the impact of trauma and can be a guiding force in helping kids develop resilience.
Weaving in Bolton’s own experiences as a former principal at a therapeutic school and as a father, Untethered is a deeply empathetic and powerful guide to combating the isolation we see in this generation today, leading them toward a healthier, more interconnected future.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction

320 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 18, 2025

Reviews

[Tilak · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this would have been better as a memoir with more time for stories and examples, which were impactful but often too short and quick to resolve. The deep dives into psychological theory felt less impactful, too long. Points he makes are meaningful, just didn’t feel as unique as I expected given his career. There’s good material here but the structure lets it down a bit.

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every single person who works with or has kids should read this book….truly changed my mindset on so many things

[Sarah Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a former student of Dr. Bolton’s, and now teacher myself, I wholeheartedly credit his demeanor and genuine care to understand the whole child as an essential feature to his ability to support other educators now. I was no doubt excited to read the wisdom he has gained from years of significantly trying and meaningful experiences. The sincerity in Bolton’s voice carries throughout his writing and is a pivotal vehicle through which he shares not only his experiences as an educator, but more vulnerable moments as a human. His dive into the importance of supporting children rather than simply constructing boundaries is a helpful reminder as a teacher to know that every action is a reaction to something affecting the child at their core. His review of the history of behaviorism was helpful in the sense that it is a significant player in where we are with kids, and society, today. While some of the psychological studies are not new to me, their implications to the importance and necessity of establishing communities for our students is something he focuses on at a deeper level and I found to be a powerful reminder to help me reflect on my practices both professionally and personally. All in all, his book, compromised of a mixture of studies, student traumas, personal experiences, and moments as an educator, invites us as the adults to consider how we are reinforcing old ways versus enacting new ones. That alone is powerful and an important examination as we make an effort to support kids as a whole.

[A.Reilly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t get past 1st 50 pages. Just another rehashing of certain theories that have been around for decades. Nothing new or insightful here. As the saying goes… there is nothing new under the sun.

[Kimberly Gabriel · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I picked this book up intrigued about its premise, I wasn't expecting to be completed immersed in it. Nor was I anticipating to go through two packs of tabs marking explanations, strategies, research, and profound advice I want to revisit as an educator and parent about kids' growth and struggles. Bolton weaves narratives from his experiences as a kid, a parent, a psychologist, and and administrator along with his research and anecdotes about our current mental health crisis as it applies to young people. He gives practical and usable advice throughout without shaming or sounding condescending to the reader. His writing was vulnerable, compelling, and filled with hope about what we can all do to help kids face struggles and come out of them with resilience. I can't remember reading a book that has resonated as much or that I've taken more from. This is a book I plan on rereading just to soak in all the advice Bolton gives.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the best teacher PD/parenting books I’ve ever read. Up there with Lisa Damour’s work. As a teacher and mom I related to so many of his points on attachment and discipline. Kudos to Dr. Bolton for sharing his different parenting experiences with parenting his son and daughter. That takes a lot of courage to own and share publicly.

[Krissy · Rating 2 out of 5]

didn't finish

[🐥 Ori Nana 🐥 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Big MUST read for educators!!

[Alissa Jelke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! Must read for all parents and teachers!

[Andrew Fishman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book.

Bolton makes a compelling case for shifting the way we handle struggling young people, away from punishments and toward connection and compassion. Although I appreciated reading about the evidence, I found the most helpful and meaningful parts to be the anecdotes he shares from his long history working with struggling young people. I’d recommend this to anyone, especially parents and teachers.