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Instructions for Heartbreak
A beautiful, razor-sharp novel by Sarah Handyside, Instructions for Heartbreak is a life-affirming story about female friendship, self-love and how to survive a broken heart.
What if heartbreak came with a manual?
It starts with a late-night knock on the door. Dee, Liv and Rosa share a flat in south London, while Katie lives close by with her boyfriend. But, when Katie’s nine-year relationship ends – suddenly and brutally – she turns up on their doorstep with no idea what to do next, or how to do anything after spending so long with her life entwined with someone else’s.
Out comes the martini shaker (an old, well-washed gherkin jar) and, with an unused sketchbook, an idea. They’ll make Katie the handbook that she needs to process her heartbreak and start rebuilding her life. There are notes on tears, hangovers and roast chicken, scribblings about music, new bedding and pure, white-hot rage.
But Katie is not the only one nursing a broken heart. Rosa is a hopeless romantic, despite still reeling from her ex’s infidelity. Scarred by her ex’s parting words, Dee is committed to being commitment-free. And while Liv knows that breaking up with her girlfriend was what she wanted, she can’t help but wonder if she did the right thing.
Tested by big life changes, even the closest friendships can fray – could the heartbreak handbook they intended for Katie contain the words they all need to hear?
* * * *
Readers are loving Instructions for Heartbreak:
‘I love a novel filled with amazing female friendships. I flew through this book . . . a MUST read’
‘A wonderfully nuanced, emotionally intelligent and insightful story of female friendships, relationships, growing up and finding your family’
‘There is nothing better than the power of female friendships and women coming together to help one another. This book delivers that message and more! I loved every minute’
What if heartbreak came with a manual?
It starts with a late-night knock on the door. Dee, Liv and Rosa share a flat in south London, while Katie lives close by with her boyfriend. But, when Katie’s nine-year relationship ends – suddenly and brutally – she turns up on their doorstep with no idea what to do next, or how to do anything after spending so long with her life entwined with someone else’s.
Out comes the martini shaker (an old, well-washed gherkin jar) and, with an unused sketchbook, an idea. They’ll make Katie the handbook that she needs to process her heartbreak and start rebuilding her life. There are notes on tears, hangovers and roast chicken, scribblings about music, new bedding and pure, white-hot rage.
But Katie is not the only one nursing a broken heart. Rosa is a hopeless romantic, despite still reeling from her ex’s infidelity. Scarred by her ex’s parting words, Dee is committed to being commitment-free. And while Liv knows that breaking up with her girlfriend was what she wanted, she can’t help but wonder if she did the right thing.
Tested by big life changes, even the closest friendships can fray – could the heartbreak handbook they intended for Katie contain the words they all need to hear?
* * * *
Readers are loving Instructions for Heartbreak:
‘I love a novel filled with amazing female friendships. I flew through this book . . . a MUST read’
‘A wonderfully nuanced, emotionally intelligent and insightful story of female friendships, relationships, growing up and finding your family’
‘There is nothing better than the power of female friendships and women coming together to help one another. This book delivers that message and more! I loved every minute’
416 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 30, 2025
55 people are currently reading
1144 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
May 29, 2025
‘Heartbreak is not linear.’
A witty, life-affirming and beautifully depicted tale of heartbreak and healing, friendship and freedom.
‘It is impossible to tell in advance when it will happen. You will wish you could. You will stretch and search for it…there will come a time…You will look back and know that to be heartbroken is to be human. It is a reaction to the loss of that which we love. To love is to risk a broken heart, but to refuse to love is no protection. You were made to love. You were made to be loved.’
A witty, life-affirming and beautifully depicted tale of heartbreak and healing, friendship and freedom.
‘It is impossible to tell in advance when it will happen. You will wish you could. You will stretch and search for it…there will come a time…You will look back and know that to be heartbroken is to be human. It is a reaction to the loss of that which we love. To love is to risk a broken heart, but to refuse to love is no protection. You were made to love. You were made to be loved.’
January 6, 2025
‘You will cry while telling yourself this is not worth crying over. But it is. Oh darling, it is.’
This is what every person who has suffered heartbreak needs.
Instructions for Heartbreak by Sarah Handyside offers the idea of; what happens if heartbreak came with a handbook.When Katie turns up at her friends flat after her boyfriend of 9 years unexpectedly ends their relationship, she isn’t sure she will ever be able to get through it, or where to even start untangling her life with someone else's. But these girls - women - know heartbreak. They bring out a sketchpad and an idea. Soon the Heartbreak Handbook takes shape, with advice on tears, hangovers, old photos and new bedding. But Katie is not the only one nursing a broken heart, and soon they just might find that the heartbreak handbook is what they needed all along.
When I requested this book from NetGalley, I was immediately drawn to the female friendship aspect of it, and it was so good. The way Katie’s immediate response to heartbreak is to go to her friends, and the way they immediately envelope her, not in a ‘its going to be okay, you’re better off without him anyway’ way, but in a ‘it’s going to be okay, we’ll be here the whole time’, just showcases the best of women supporting women. So many times the initial response to friends breakup is, you don’t need him, and it was refreshing to have that not be the case. The idea of we’ll help you through it because you’re going to feel it and it’s going to hurt, was just such a nice take, and the fact that all of them are going through heartbreak to different degrees, with different coping methods was interesting to read, and never overshadowed each other.
I liked that it looks at the brutal, and at times ugly side of heartbreak. The way that every reaction, or overreaction is handled is done so well, and this is really shown in the argument between Katie and Liv. The dynamic between being dumped, and doing the dumping is very fine, and when your the one being dumped it can be hard to see past the idea of ‘you’ve done this to someone’ and it can really skew friendship dynamics, but the way it was portrayed was so well done, and it shows that not everyone is perfect, not everyone will act the way they are supposed to, and friends can break your heart too.
One thing I wasn’t sure about at first was how repetitive Katie’s reactions were. I found myself thinking that the way she thought ‘Katie-and-Chris’ was const, and I was getting a bit frustrated by it until I thought about how I was when I went through a breakup, and how brutal it can be to go from me and this someone to just me. Once I thought about it more, it made perfect sense.
As a whole the book feels like the song How Did It End but in the best way. The idea that they don’t really understand how it’s ended but it has, and it isn’t just Katie’s breakup either, all of them feeling the same it’s ended and I can’t understand why, whilst finding out the reasons behind each others relationships breaking down. The way that it was written, I kept wanting to know what the seven words were’ or wanting to know how each breakup had happened as they all seemed recent.
All in all, I went into this wanting to read more about strong female friendships, and that really shone in this book. It was an enjoyable read.
Thank you to NetGalley for the early copy, all thoughts are my own.
This is what every person who has suffered heartbreak needs.
Instructions for Heartbreak by Sarah Handyside offers the idea of; what happens if heartbreak came with a handbook.When Katie turns up at her friends flat after her boyfriend of 9 years unexpectedly ends their relationship, she isn’t sure she will ever be able to get through it, or where to even start untangling her life with someone else's. But these girls - women - know heartbreak. They bring out a sketchpad and an idea. Soon the Heartbreak Handbook takes shape, with advice on tears, hangovers, old photos and new bedding. But Katie is not the only one nursing a broken heart, and soon they just might find that the heartbreak handbook is what they needed all along.
When I requested this book from NetGalley, I was immediately drawn to the female friendship aspect of it, and it was so good. The way Katie’s immediate response to heartbreak is to go to her friends, and the way they immediately envelope her, not in a ‘its going to be okay, you’re better off without him anyway’ way, but in a ‘it’s going to be okay, we’ll be here the whole time’, just showcases the best of women supporting women. So many times the initial response to friends breakup is, you don’t need him, and it was refreshing to have that not be the case. The idea of we’ll help you through it because you’re going to feel it and it’s going to hurt, was just such a nice take, and the fact that all of them are going through heartbreak to different degrees, with different coping methods was interesting to read, and never overshadowed each other.
I liked that it looks at the brutal, and at times ugly side of heartbreak. The way that every reaction, or overreaction is handled is done so well, and this is really shown in the argument between Katie and Liv. The dynamic between being dumped, and doing the dumping is very fine, and when your the one being dumped it can be hard to see past the idea of ‘you’ve done this to someone’ and it can really skew friendship dynamics, but the way it was portrayed was so well done, and it shows that not everyone is perfect, not everyone will act the way they are supposed to, and friends can break your heart too.
One thing I wasn’t sure about at first was how repetitive Katie’s reactions were. I found myself thinking that the way she thought ‘Katie-and-Chris’ was const, and I was getting a bit frustrated by it until I thought about how I was when I went through a breakup, and how brutal it can be to go from me and this someone to just me. Once I thought about it more, it made perfect sense.
As a whole the book feels like the song How Did It End but in the best way. The idea that they don’t really understand how it’s ended but it has, and it isn’t just Katie’s breakup either, all of them feeling the same it’s ended and I can’t understand why, whilst finding out the reasons behind each others relationships breaking down. The way that it was written, I kept wanting to know what the seven words were’ or wanting to know how each breakup had happened as they all seemed recent.
All in all, I went into this wanting to read more about strong female friendships, and that really shone in this book. It was an enjoyable read.
Thank you to NetGalley for the early copy, all thoughts are my own.
June 15, 2025
I am torn between 3 and 4 stars for this book
4 girlies living in London supporting their friend through a breakup
it did kinda give like sitcom in book form
some parts of the story were so tender and pure. it did make me cry.
but also i just felt that it focused on romantic relationships too much.
I know that sounds dumb bearing in mind the title but I do feel like some parts of the story missed the mark and I wouldn't say the characters were amazing
but in terms of portraying a life as a woman in her 20s I did find it to he realistic and reassuring
I think I liked the idea of it more than the actuality and the writing
lots of potential but don't think it lived up to it
4 girlies living in London supporting their friend through a breakup
it did kinda give like sitcom in book form
some parts of the story were so tender and pure. it did make me cry.
but also i just felt that it focused on romantic relationships too much.
I know that sounds dumb bearing in mind the title but I do feel like some parts of the story missed the mark and I wouldn't say the characters were amazing
but in terms of portraying a life as a woman in her 20s I did find it to he realistic and reassuring
I think I liked the idea of it more than the actuality and the writing
lots of potential but don't think it lived up to it
January 23, 2025
This was definitely a book that I felt I could judge on two levels, firstly on the skillful way the characters and emotions are written, and secondly on the plot.
I felt that the writing of this story is done in a brilliantly descriptive prose that is so raw and this bleeds with emotion and all the elements of heartbreak from the tiny to the huge. Perhaps it is slightly aimed at a younger audience, one where you still feel viscerally that first heartbreak or have witnessed it, not quite once you're older & possibly jaded enough to have experienced layers of the stuff or things arguably much, much worse than your first heartbreak. I felt the ways modern dating, particularly apps and social media, were picked apart and displayed was so well done and also the ways different experiences bring perspectives, and conflicts.
The key part of this plot for me was less the romance/heartbreak theme, but the bonds of friendship between the characters, the chaotic mess of their hopes & dreams in love, work & life, and how they expand & constrict this circle of friendship to navigate the events of the book.
It is certainly an interesting read, the pace is slow in parts, with perspective changes between the characters, it can feel heavy, brutal, but with such a strong curve of energy that I felt hopeful by the end.
I felt that the writing of this story is done in a brilliantly descriptive prose that is so raw and this bleeds with emotion and all the elements of heartbreak from the tiny to the huge. Perhaps it is slightly aimed at a younger audience, one where you still feel viscerally that first heartbreak or have witnessed it, not quite once you're older & possibly jaded enough to have experienced layers of the stuff or things arguably much, much worse than your first heartbreak. I felt the ways modern dating, particularly apps and social media, were picked apart and displayed was so well done and also the ways different experiences bring perspectives, and conflicts.
The key part of this plot for me was less the romance/heartbreak theme, but the bonds of friendship between the characters, the chaotic mess of their hopes & dreams in love, work & life, and how they expand & constrict this circle of friendship to navigate the events of the book.
It is certainly an interesting read, the pace is slow in parts, with perspective changes between the characters, it can feel heavy, brutal, but with such a strong curve of energy that I felt hopeful by the end.
August 3, 2025
3.5 stars. Bit cheesy, but getting over heartbreak and female friendships are particularly relevant to me, so I thoroughly enjoyed this. And it did work very well as an antidote to Our Country Friends, which I really can't get into. But yeah, Katie isn't especially sympathetic in her heartbreak and Liv and Dee aren't really distinct characters, so I can't give it more.
June 17, 2025
I really loved how girlhood ran through the core of this story and proving that having your girls (women) around you can really get you through anything 🥰
July 5, 2025
Don’t know why I persevered.
August 4, 2025
I DNF this i couldnt get on with the writing style not for me
February 10, 2025
3.5*
Instructions for Heartbreak is a book which will strike a chord with many readers. Katie’s boyfriend has recently broken up with her which has come as a bolt out of the blue to her. Devastated she turns to her group of close friends: Dee, Liv and Rosa. As they help her come to terms with the situation, it brings their own experiences of break-ups sharply into their minds too and makes them question whether they made the right or wrong decisions.
I loved the idea of creating a handbook to help Katie begin to process her break-up and move forward. With sections looking at comfort food, break-up films, physical reminders of the relationship. music, anger, creating a new image and how to dip your toe in the dating pond again amongst other subjects, this book could actually be read as a helpful manual giving advice and leading to emotionalwellbeing.
The author writes so well about the emotions experienced during and after a break-up and you could really feel Katie’s pain and confusion. It’s not just the loss of the relationship but everything else that comes along with it. The loss of a home, of shared friends perhaps, of connections with the ex’s family, the envisaged future. It’s a lot to process.
Instructions for Heartbreak is an ode to female friendship and with a hopeful look at healing and moving on after a painful break-up. I love a book where women support women and this emotionally insightful read certainly delivered.
Instructions for Heartbreak is a book which will strike a chord with many readers. Katie’s boyfriend has recently broken up with her which has come as a bolt out of the blue to her. Devastated she turns to her group of close friends: Dee, Liv and Rosa. As they help her come to terms with the situation, it brings their own experiences of break-ups sharply into their minds too and makes them question whether they made the right or wrong decisions.
I loved the idea of creating a handbook to help Katie begin to process her break-up and move forward. With sections looking at comfort food, break-up films, physical reminders of the relationship. music, anger, creating a new image and how to dip your toe in the dating pond again amongst other subjects, this book could actually be read as a helpful manual giving advice and leading to emotionalwellbeing.
The author writes so well about the emotions experienced during and after a break-up and you could really feel Katie’s pain and confusion. It’s not just the loss of the relationship but everything else that comes along with it. The loss of a home, of shared friends perhaps, of connections with the ex’s family, the envisaged future. It’s a lot to process.
Instructions for Heartbreak is an ode to female friendship and with a hopeful look at healing and moving on after a painful break-up. I love a book where women support women and this emotionally insightful read certainly delivered.
September 16, 2025
'This is how things should be. What are you if not your past ? You passed through your tears and torments and you stayed alive. You are strong, darling, you are strong.'
I read the last pages through my tears. Oh I love being a woman, surrounded by other women. I could write and read a million essais about female friendships. It’s just so pure and so strong.
The description of heartbreak, the different stages. It’s so well written, so well represented. It really is a guide to get through heartbreak, or at least not to feel alone while you’re living it.
Love love love
I read the last pages through my tears. Oh I love being a woman, surrounded by other women. I could write and read a million essais about female friendships. It’s just so pure and so strong.
The description of heartbreak, the different stages. It’s so well written, so well represented. It really is a guide to get through heartbreak, or at least not to feel alone while you’re living it.
Love love love
January 25, 2025
I liked the writing and the characters in this. It was so well written and thought out.
3.75 stars
3.75 stars
May 29, 2025
as someone around this age also trying to figure their life out this kind of resonated with me a lil too much
November 8, 2025
weiß nicht was ich erwartet habe aber irgendwie ein bisschen…mehr
February 19, 2025
I love girlhood and female friendship!!! But you can just watch Something Great. Also, there’s nothing wrong with calling your friends “the girls”. You don’t have to say “the girls, the WOMEN”.
January 30, 2025
Instructions for Heartbreak follows four friends: Dee, Rosa, Liv and Katie. It's Katie's heartbreak after her relationship with Chris comes to an end that leads the women to embark on a handbook to help her to get over the break-up. The other three women have all been in a similar situation whilst Katie was the one who was most settled, and so they're well-placed to offer advice, comfort and tissues.
This is a lovely story, really heart-warming, and a great debut from Sarah Handyside. It's about female friendship, the trials and tribulations of getting out there and starting to date again (use a dating app or just hope to bump into someone down the pub?), and in a way it's about growing up, that point where you're about to leave your twenties behind and the future looms ahead - it's time to take everything more seriously.
I can really see this story making a good TV series, along the lines of Everything I Know About Love, to which it's been compared. I enjoyed reading the women's stories as they navigated love, work and family.
This is a lovely story, really heart-warming, and a great debut from Sarah Handyside. It's about female friendship, the trials and tribulations of getting out there and starting to date again (use a dating app or just hope to bump into someone down the pub?), and in a way it's about growing up, that point where you're about to leave your twenties behind and the future looms ahead - it's time to take everything more seriously.
I can really see this story making a good TV series, along the lines of Everything I Know About Love, to which it's been compared. I enjoyed reading the women's stories as they navigated love, work and family.
January 19, 2025
Instructions for Heartbreak is a well-written book about friendship, very specifically focused on how you deal with difficult breakups.
That specific focus gives it power but also a slightly repetitive feel on occasion. It's pinpointed at that stage of life where probably a 20-something woman breaks up with someone who was their first really big significant other.
The 'main' break up here is Katie and Chris, which happens right at the beginning - he finishes it because it 'isn't working' essentially, and she struggles to process that. Was he unhappy? Was he cheating? What if she never knows? She turns to her three friends for help, all of whom have dealt with their own heartbreak (or caused it) in the past. Eventually they write a sort of guidebook for dealing with it: a way out of the dark.
The author weaves a story of four friends who deeply care about and rely on one another (as an awkward introvert who grew up without a gaggle of friends, it's nice to read about but I always wonder if friendship truly exists on this level). They're a bit self-involved and navel-gazery, as is common for that stage of life. They're also figuring out who they are and who they want to be - which is well done. It felt authentic - and so I'd definitely return to this author again.
That specific focus gives it power but also a slightly repetitive feel on occasion. It's pinpointed at that stage of life where probably a 20-something woman breaks up with someone who was their first really big significant other.
The 'main' break up here is Katie and Chris, which happens right at the beginning - he finishes it because it 'isn't working' essentially, and she struggles to process that. Was he unhappy? Was he cheating? What if she never knows? She turns to her three friends for help, all of whom have dealt with their own heartbreak (or caused it) in the past. Eventually they write a sort of guidebook for dealing with it: a way out of the dark.
The author weaves a story of four friends who deeply care about and rely on one another (as an awkward introvert who grew up without a gaggle of friends, it's nice to read about but I always wonder if friendship truly exists on this level). They're a bit self-involved and navel-gazery, as is common for that stage of life. They're also figuring out who they are and who they want to be - which is well done. It felt authentic - and so I'd definitely return to this author again.
January 19, 2025
“To be heartbroken is to be human. It is a reaction to the loss of that which we love. To love is to risk a broken heart, but to refuse to love is no protection. You were made to love. You were made to be loved.”
There is probably no one out there reading this review who has not experienced heartbreak. And I don’t just mean heartbreak caused by a lover but any kind of heartbreak. We have all been there!
This book is the story of Katie, who suddenly finds herself single after nine years when her boyfriend announces, without any fireworks, that things just aren’t working anymore between the two of them. Suddenly life is completely different and so is the future Katie imagined. She is heartbroken but she is also super lucky as she has three wonderful friends, her anchors in life, who catch her and hold her through the weeks and months that follow. They reminisce about their own heartbreaks and it is through these conversations that we get the “instructions for heartbreak”, a little book Katie starts to compile - how each stage, each feeling following a heartbreak is recognisable and how we can cope and maybe even take strength and grasp a new opportunity as a result. I loved the “instruction summary” sections at the end of each chapter: they contain such truths we can all relate to!
This is the kind of book that will make you smile, make you nod but sometimes also squeeze your heart (this for me was especially true for Dee’s Mum’s story!) and is very easy to read. It is full of love of all sorts and definitely shows the importance of good friends who are there for you through thick and thin. I hope everyone reading this has at least one friend like that as it does make heartbreak and life in general so much easier!
March 26, 2025
For some strange reason it took me far longer than usual to read Instructions for Heartbreak, and this most definitely was not because I didn’t like this book or didn’t want to continue it. It was more about how I really wanted to stretch out that sense of a circle of friends, how no matter what life throws at you are there. Those friends you share a history with, funny stories and quips, daft in-jokes, past problems and mess, and future hope and dreams. Those are the friends I value most, no matter how near or far we are geographically, or the time between when we meet/speak, our conversations naturally continue from the point we last left off.
That was the theme of this book that really touched me, heart and soul. I totally loved how the characters and their emotions were displayed on every page, I loved the depth of understanding that this gave me as a reader and how it truly made me feel. This book brought back recollections of youthful heartbreak, many an evening spent with friends bemoaning our decisions in life and love, and I loved how it brought to life the myriad of challenges faced today in the dating world – apps and social media, the challenges of finding your person amongst all the distinct and very binary channels.
Saying all of the above, I must be honest and say this isn’t a light and frothy read, the depth of loss and emotion felt so visceral, brutal and weighed very heavily at times but, it wasn’t all depression, throughout the story there is an undercurrent of hope and faith in the future, and I truly felt that to my core.
I’m not young, I’m pretty jaded in terms of not being new to love and romance, I’ve had my own share of love and loss and heartbreak but, I still found myself engrossed in this and I most definitely felt the harshness of loss and heartbreak and I found myself uplifted by such a wonderful group of friends and appetite for life, love and hope in the future. This is most definitely a story of love, loss, heartbreak but, in parallel it is also about friendship, hopes and dreams.
Thank you so much Pan MacMillan for sending me this arc and deepest apologies for taking so long to read it! I have no regrets and assure you that all the opinions expressed in this review are truly my own!
That was the theme of this book that really touched me, heart and soul. I totally loved how the characters and their emotions were displayed on every page, I loved the depth of understanding that this gave me as a reader and how it truly made me feel. This book brought back recollections of youthful heartbreak, many an evening spent with friends bemoaning our decisions in life and love, and I loved how it brought to life the myriad of challenges faced today in the dating world – apps and social media, the challenges of finding your person amongst all the distinct and very binary channels.
Saying all of the above, I must be honest and say this isn’t a light and frothy read, the depth of loss and emotion felt so visceral, brutal and weighed very heavily at times but, it wasn’t all depression, throughout the story there is an undercurrent of hope and faith in the future, and I truly felt that to my core.
I’m not young, I’m pretty jaded in terms of not being new to love and romance, I’ve had my own share of love and loss and heartbreak but, I still found myself engrossed in this and I most definitely felt the harshness of loss and heartbreak and I found myself uplifted by such a wonderful group of friends and appetite for life, love and hope in the future. This is most definitely a story of love, loss, heartbreak but, in parallel it is also about friendship, hopes and dreams.
Thank you so much Pan MacMillan for sending me this arc and deepest apologies for taking so long to read it! I have no regrets and assure you that all the opinions expressed in this review are truly my own!
February 2, 2025
My Bookish Thoughts 💬
Being part of the Bridget Jones’s Diary generation, the premise of this book hit me with a wave of nostalgia. It transported me back to a time when I was newly single myself, sitting in my tiny first house, doing tequila shots on my own (with the requisite salt and lime), weeping to love songs that dredged up past heartbreaks. At 29, I remember desperately hoping I wouldn’t be single much longer.
Luckily, my friends came to the rescue. We threw ourselves into singletons’ nights out, becoming our own version of Carrie and the girls from Sex and the City. We were all single together, making the most of it and leaning on each other as we navigated that whirlwind stage of life and some unforgettable nights!
This novel took me right back to those moments—the gut-wrenching heartbreak of being newly single, but also the empowering joy of friendships, wild nights out, spontaneous holidays, and learning to revel in your youth. It’s a book brimming with hope and reassurance, one I would have cherished during those turbulent times. It has that rare quality of making you feel seen, validated, and supported—like a warm hug on your toughest days.
In the spirit of honesty, I will say that it felt a touch long in places for me. However, that small quibble doesn’t take away from its charm or importance. It’s a book I’ll wholeheartedly recommend. If you’re a woman, I’d say keep a copy on your shelf—because life happens, and this is a wonderful companion for those times when you need comfort, empathy, laughter, and the reminder that you’ll be okay.
Big thanks to @bookbreakuk @panmcmillan and @sarahhandyside for gifting this gorgeous copy in exchange for an honest review.
Being part of the Bridget Jones’s Diary generation, the premise of this book hit me with a wave of nostalgia. It transported me back to a time when I was newly single myself, sitting in my tiny first house, doing tequila shots on my own (with the requisite salt and lime), weeping to love songs that dredged up past heartbreaks. At 29, I remember desperately hoping I wouldn’t be single much longer.
Luckily, my friends came to the rescue. We threw ourselves into singletons’ nights out, becoming our own version of Carrie and the girls from Sex and the City. We were all single together, making the most of it and leaning on each other as we navigated that whirlwind stage of life and some unforgettable nights!
This novel took me right back to those moments—the gut-wrenching heartbreak of being newly single, but also the empowering joy of friendships, wild nights out, spontaneous holidays, and learning to revel in your youth. It’s a book brimming with hope and reassurance, one I would have cherished during those turbulent times. It has that rare quality of making you feel seen, validated, and supported—like a warm hug on your toughest days.
In the spirit of honesty, I will say that it felt a touch long in places for me. However, that small quibble doesn’t take away from its charm or importance. It’s a book I’ll wholeheartedly recommend. If you’re a woman, I’d say keep a copy on your shelf—because life happens, and this is a wonderful companion for those times when you need comfort, empathy, laughter, and the reminder that you’ll be okay.
Big thanks to @bookbreakuk @panmcmillan and @sarahhandyside for gifting this gorgeous copy in exchange for an honest review.
October 8, 2024
Instructions for Heartbreak is a wonderfully nuanced, emotionally intelligent and insightful story of female friendships, relationships, growing up and finding your family. I just wish I had half the emotional intelligence and way with language that these four women do.
Its the story of four university friends, Dee, Rosa, Liv and Katy; they found each other at university and never looked back -partners have come and gone but their friendship has survived and is as strong as ever.
When Katy's long term partner Chris breaks up with her, this amazing group of friends envelop her with love and support, holding her up when she needs it but also letting her crumble when its all too much. Between them, they start writing a handbook for surviving heartbreak, from the power of going outside to the dangers of stalking the ex on social media, what it might feel like when you meet someone else, and everything inbetween. The stories they share are raw and real, they don't keep anything from one another, keen to help someone else through their bleakest spot.
All of the other women have had their hearts broken before; part of the story's power and beauty is seeing how they too navigate their worlds, whether its through shying away from relationships completely, or through sharing their innermost thoughts in a national newspaper, they each have to work out what they want from life and how to get there. There are fallings out between the group as well, as they address conflicts about each others' choices, but even the arguments are resolved with emotional insight and understanding.
Powerful clever writing that doesnt shy away from the multitudes and layers inside all of us.
Its the story of four university friends, Dee, Rosa, Liv and Katy; they found each other at university and never looked back -partners have come and gone but their friendship has survived and is as strong as ever.
When Katy's long term partner Chris breaks up with her, this amazing group of friends envelop her with love and support, holding her up when she needs it but also letting her crumble when its all too much. Between them, they start writing a handbook for surviving heartbreak, from the power of going outside to the dangers of stalking the ex on social media, what it might feel like when you meet someone else, and everything inbetween. The stories they share are raw and real, they don't keep anything from one another, keen to help someone else through their bleakest spot.
All of the other women have had their hearts broken before; part of the story's power and beauty is seeing how they too navigate their worlds, whether its through shying away from relationships completely, or through sharing their innermost thoughts in a national newspaper, they each have to work out what they want from life and how to get there. There are fallings out between the group as well, as they address conflicts about each others' choices, but even the arguments are resolved with emotional insight and understanding.
Powerful clever writing that doesnt shy away from the multitudes and layers inside all of us.
April 16, 2025
‘Instructions for Heartbreak’ is a poignant, emotionally resonant novel that deftly explores the messy aftermath of heartbreak through the lens of enduring female friendship. When Katie’s nine year relationship ends abruptly, she finds solace in her three university friends- Dee, Liv and Rosa who rally around her with martinis, solidarity and an unconventional project i.e. creating a heartbreak handbook.
Blending fiction with self help practicality the book-within a book structure offers witty, relatable advice on everything from comfort food to reinvention, making it both a heartfelt story and a tender guide for anyone navigating loss. The handbook’s sections, woven into the narrative serve as gentle reminders that healing is nonlinear while underscoring the power of friendship to mend even the deepest wounds.
The author excels in capturing the visceral ache of breakup grief, not just the loss of love but the shattering of shared dreams, homes and identities. Each friend’s personal struggles with past relationships add depth, revealing how heartbreak reshapes us in different ways. While Katie’s journey anchors the story, the novel shines as an ode to women supporting women, balancing raw vulnerability with hopeful resilience. The exploration of modern dating pitfalls and social media’s role in healing feels timely, offering sharp insights without sacrificing warmth.
The universal themes of self-discovery and friendship make this a touching read for anyone seeking light after emotional darkness. A clever amalgamation of fiction and self-help, ‘Instructions for Heartbreak’ is a testament to love in all its forms and the messy, beautiful process of starting anew.
Blending fiction with self help practicality the book-within a book structure offers witty, relatable advice on everything from comfort food to reinvention, making it both a heartfelt story and a tender guide for anyone navigating loss. The handbook’s sections, woven into the narrative serve as gentle reminders that healing is nonlinear while underscoring the power of friendship to mend even the deepest wounds.
The author excels in capturing the visceral ache of breakup grief, not just the loss of love but the shattering of shared dreams, homes and identities. Each friend’s personal struggles with past relationships add depth, revealing how heartbreak reshapes us in different ways. While Katie’s journey anchors the story, the novel shines as an ode to women supporting women, balancing raw vulnerability with hopeful resilience. The exploration of modern dating pitfalls and social media’s role in healing feels timely, offering sharp insights without sacrificing warmth.
The universal themes of self-discovery and friendship make this a touching read for anyone seeking light after emotional darkness. A clever amalgamation of fiction and self-help, ‘Instructions for Heartbreak’ is a testament to love in all its forms and the messy, beautiful process of starting anew.
January 25, 2025
Dee, Liv & Rosa share a flat in south London, while Katie lives close by with her boyfriend. But, when Katie’s nine-year relationship ends, she turns up on their doorstep with no idea what to do next, or how to do anything after spending so long with her life entwined with someone else’s. Out comes the idea - to make Katie the handbook that she needs to process her heartbreak & start rebuilding her life. But Katie is not the only one nursing a broken heart; Rosa is a hopeless romantic, despite still reeling from her ex’s infidelity, Dee is scarred by her ex’s parting words, committed to being commitment-free & while Liv knows that breaking up with her girlfriend was what she wanted, she can’t help but wonder if she did the right thing. Tested by big life changes, even the closest friendships can fray – could the heartbreak handbook they intended for Katie contain the words they all need to hear?
This is a book that won’t fail to resonate with everyone, after all, we’ve all been there, thinking we would never get over the end of a relationship. I love the idea of a handbook to guide everyone through the ups and downs, normalising the feelings & emotions that fluctuate, along with the importance of friendship.
I loved the end of each chapter detailing the information that would be added to the ‘handbook’, some very wise words applied to the characters we grow to love in this title. The four friends relationship is very special, the author focusing on how much these women have been through together & how, despite what life throws at them, the way they all rally together is heartwarming.
A beautifully written, powerful & emotional read, perfect for reminding us all of just how strong we can be, even through the toughest times.
This is a book that won’t fail to resonate with everyone, after all, we’ve all been there, thinking we would never get over the end of a relationship. I love the idea of a handbook to guide everyone through the ups and downs, normalising the feelings & emotions that fluctuate, along with the importance of friendship.
I loved the end of each chapter detailing the information that would be added to the ‘handbook’, some very wise words applied to the characters we grow to love in this title. The four friends relationship is very special, the author focusing on how much these women have been through together & how, despite what life throws at them, the way they all rally together is heartwarming.
A beautifully written, powerful & emotional read, perfect for reminding us all of just how strong we can be, even through the toughest times.
January 29, 2025
'Your heart can howl, while your eyes are dry.'
This book truly is a rollercoaster of emotion, a story of love, self-love, friendship and how to get through a breakup when it seems like there is no way out. I think this book relates to anyone and everyone, it has so many different point of views and different elements of heartbreak on different levels. I have been through heartbreak so understood the feelings. Someone close to me is experiencing this and think this is a perfect book to advise them and remind them that is ok, finding the right words to say.
'Alone need not mean isolated. Alone can be independence, freedom, fierce joy. Alone can be a rediscovery of your own boundaries and your own wild breaking of them.'
I think this book is feel good because it shows what it means that even when you are at your worst, your biggest hurt, remember what else you have around you. Keep going. The friendship in this book is brilliant and you feel so emotive towards the characters. Easy reading, with lots of personal situations, to reiterate just how strong we all really are, even at our worst.
TRUST me, anyone experiencing heartbreak, read this.
'To be heartbroken is to be human. It is a reaction to the loss of that which we love. To love is to risk a broken heart, but to refuse to love is no protection. You were made to love. You were made to be loved.'
Thankyou to Pan Macmillan & Sarah Handyside for my gifted copy.
This book truly is a rollercoaster of emotion, a story of love, self-love, friendship and how to get through a breakup when it seems like there is no way out. I think this book relates to anyone and everyone, it has so many different point of views and different elements of heartbreak on different levels. I have been through heartbreak so understood the feelings. Someone close to me is experiencing this and think this is a perfect book to advise them and remind them that is ok, finding the right words to say.
'Alone need not mean isolated. Alone can be independence, freedom, fierce joy. Alone can be a rediscovery of your own boundaries and your own wild breaking of them.'
I think this book is feel good because it shows what it means that even when you are at your worst, your biggest hurt, remember what else you have around you. Keep going. The friendship in this book is brilliant and you feel so emotive towards the characters. Easy reading, with lots of personal situations, to reiterate just how strong we all really are, even at our worst.
TRUST me, anyone experiencing heartbreak, read this.
'To be heartbroken is to be human. It is a reaction to the loss of that which we love. To love is to risk a broken heart, but to refuse to love is no protection. You were made to love. You were made to be loved.'
Thankyou to Pan Macmillan & Sarah Handyside for my gifted copy.
February 17, 2025
When life breaks your heart—write a self-help book
—
You HAVE to kiss a lot of frogs, right? Although I know one couple who met at university and never strayed. But poor Katie gets thrown under the bus by her calm, logical boyfriend Chris, who has everything worked out, the estate agent on speed dial, a (female) workmate’s flat to move into. Meanwhile, Katie’s dying inside, buoyed up only by her besties Dee, Rosa and Liv. Who, in their wisdom and their own experiences with heartbreak, decide to help Katie get back up and back on the horse with a self-help manual on navigating heartbreak. Because two—or, in this case, three—heads are better than one.
The four friends are well-delineated in this dense novel, but the dialogue (and often the internal narratives) is over-stuffed with speechifying, great gobs of talking at other people, or in the case of the internal stuff, too much self-awareness. The handbook is a welcome respite from the relentless self-talk, but it’s no KonMari.
I appreciate that I’m not the audience for this book; I think it speaks to women and their friendships, as well as the unrealistic expectations that society places on relationships being perfect, when there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. This book definitely knows its readership and I’ll get this book into their hands.
Three and half stars, rounded up to four.
—
You HAVE to kiss a lot of frogs, right? Although I know one couple who met at university and never strayed. But poor Katie gets thrown under the bus by her calm, logical boyfriend Chris, who has everything worked out, the estate agent on speed dial, a (female) workmate’s flat to move into. Meanwhile, Katie’s dying inside, buoyed up only by her besties Dee, Rosa and Liv. Who, in their wisdom and their own experiences with heartbreak, decide to help Katie get back up and back on the horse with a self-help manual on navigating heartbreak. Because two—or, in this case, three—heads are better than one.
The four friends are well-delineated in this dense novel, but the dialogue (and often the internal narratives) is over-stuffed with speechifying, great gobs of talking at other people, or in the case of the internal stuff, too much self-awareness. The handbook is a welcome respite from the relentless self-talk, but it’s no KonMari.
I appreciate that I’m not the audience for this book; I think it speaks to women and their friendships, as well as the unrealistic expectations that society places on relationships being perfect, when there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. This book definitely knows its readership and I’ll get this book into their hands.
Three and half stars, rounded up to four.
November 17, 2025
I'd recommend this book in the following scenarios:
- it's your first breakup, and you haven't seen many shows/movies about this topic
- it's your first breakup, and you have seen many shows/movies about this topic, but you want to indulge a little more
- you're a nostalgic millennial with a soft spot for Sex and the City, Dolly Alderton, 13 going on 30, etc
- you reached for this book in a store, and it felt right in that very moment (my case)
I'd give it a solid 3.5/5. Cute, yet mildly irritating because of the predictability in author's style and storytelling. The core idea is not new too, and kind of aggravating, which is maybe just a "me" problem - of course it's nice to be surrounded by your 3 old friends during a hard period of your life. And the sentiment of "a girl - a woman - who's going to be okay", while having a job, a friend group, a savings account and a distraction of life in London can piss some of the readers off. Not many can brag about any of it while going through their breakup. So proceed with caution, read the book if you want an escape rather than a fundamental advice on hand.
- it's your first breakup, and you haven't seen many shows/movies about this topic
- it's your first breakup, and you have seen many shows/movies about this topic, but you want to indulge a little more
- you're a nostalgic millennial with a soft spot for Sex and the City, Dolly Alderton, 13 going on 30, etc
- you reached for this book in a store, and it felt right in that very moment (my case)
I'd give it a solid 3.5/5. Cute, yet mildly irritating because of the predictability in author's style and storytelling. The core idea is not new too, and kind of aggravating, which is maybe just a "me" problem - of course it's nice to be surrounded by your 3 old friends during a hard period of your life. And the sentiment of "a girl - a woman - who's going to be okay", while having a job, a friend group, a savings account and a distraction of life in London can piss some of the readers off. Not many can brag about any of it while going through their breakup. So proceed with caution, read the book if you want an escape rather than a fundamental advice on hand.
January 23, 2025
Instructions for Heartbreak volgt het verhaal van vier vriendinnen die op verschillende, maar toch gelijkende, manieren met een gebroken hart omgaan. Het is een boek met warme vriendschappen, oude en nieuwe romances, liefde tussen moeder en dochter en de kracht van een goede vriendengroep waar je op kunt vertrouwen.
Ik moet zeggen dat ik best wat moeite had met in het verhaal te komen. De schrijfstijl is niet helemaal mijn ding en het verhaal springt ook enorm van het ene personage naar het andere, vaak ook in het midden van een paragraaf. De personages waren voor mij ook net niet diep genoeg uitgeschreven om deze sprongen goed te kunnen volgen. Dit was echt even aanpassen. Even ontspannen lezen zat er niet altijd in met dit boek.
Maar eenmaal je daar door bent en over kunt kijken, vind je de pracht in dit verhaal. De onderliggende boodschap over hoe vier vriendinnen elkaar vinden door verschillende soorten liefdesverdriet, is echt heel prachtig. Het gaat respectvol om met verschillende thema's die aan bod komen en is emotioneel sterk geschreven.
Hoewel de opbouw voor mij dus erg veel potentieel had, was de uitwerking er nét niet. De clue van het verhaal, vooral naar het einde toe, heb ik wat gemist en zelf maar ingevuld. Het hele opzet van de dames die een handboek schrijven voor liefdesverdriet (en je dit handboek ook te lezen krijgt) is voor mij wel een heel groot pluspunt in dit verhaal.
Een fijn en warm verhaal dus over vriendschap en liefde, maar eentje die je zeker met de nodige aandacht moet lezen.
Ik moet zeggen dat ik best wat moeite had met in het verhaal te komen. De schrijfstijl is niet helemaal mijn ding en het verhaal springt ook enorm van het ene personage naar het andere, vaak ook in het midden van een paragraaf. De personages waren voor mij ook net niet diep genoeg uitgeschreven om deze sprongen goed te kunnen volgen. Dit was echt even aanpassen. Even ontspannen lezen zat er niet altijd in met dit boek.
Maar eenmaal je daar door bent en over kunt kijken, vind je de pracht in dit verhaal. De onderliggende boodschap over hoe vier vriendinnen elkaar vinden door verschillende soorten liefdesverdriet, is echt heel prachtig. Het gaat respectvol om met verschillende thema's die aan bod komen en is emotioneel sterk geschreven.
Hoewel de opbouw voor mij dus erg veel potentieel had, was de uitwerking er nét niet. De clue van het verhaal, vooral naar het einde toe, heb ik wat gemist en zelf maar ingevuld. Het hele opzet van de dames die een handboek schrijven voor liefdesverdriet (en je dit handboek ook te lezen krijgt) is voor mij wel een heel groot pluspunt in dit verhaal.
Een fijn en warm verhaal dus over vriendschap en liefde, maar eentje die je zeker met de nodige aandacht moet lezen.
January 24, 2025
Thank you, Pan Macmillan and Netgalley, for this arc in exchange for an honest opinion.
Let me start by saying how incredibly stunning this cover is!
Instructions for Heartbreak was a bit of a slow read for me. It doesn't have a fast-paced story and I had to take breaks from reading because of how heavy the topics discussed are. But I'm so glad I kept going because after the first 40-50% of the book, I started to really like it.
As I'm sure everyone went through some kind of heartbreak in their lives, the story felt very relatable. It was so nice that the girls wrote a heartbreak manual and that pages of it were included in the book. Also, the advice given was actually helpful and authentic.
What I loved most was the representation of strong female friendship and its importance. This book made me appreciate my female friends even more than I already do.
Overall, this is a very layered and deep story and in my opinion, one of the books every woman should read 🩷
My rating: 4.5 stars (rounded up to 5)
Let me start by saying how incredibly stunning this cover is!
Instructions for Heartbreak was a bit of a slow read for me. It doesn't have a fast-paced story and I had to take breaks from reading because of how heavy the topics discussed are. But I'm so glad I kept going because after the first 40-50% of the book, I started to really like it.
As I'm sure everyone went through some kind of heartbreak in their lives, the story felt very relatable. It was so nice that the girls wrote a heartbreak manual and that pages of it were included in the book. Also, the advice given was actually helpful and authentic.
What I loved most was the representation of strong female friendship and its importance. This book made me appreciate my female friends even more than I already do.
Overall, this is a very layered and deep story and in my opinion, one of the books every woman should read 🩷
My rating: 4.5 stars (rounded up to 5)
February 3, 2025
If you're going through a breakup or know someone who is then buy this book!
When Katie's 9 year relationship ends abruptly, the only way for her to turn is towards her three closest friends, who live nearby. Dee, Liv and Rosa pull out the cocktails, the advice, make room for Katie to stay over, and start a heartbreak handbook full of advice on getting through her breakup. Yet, all four of the women are going through breakups, so many months before or even years.
This book is more than about learning to live after a nasty breakup but more about the power of female friendships, close knit communities and finding the inner strength to make it through the difficult periods of your life.
Instructions for Heartbreak is an emotional, intelligent read, and a book where the happy ending doesn't have to come from finding a replacement partner.
I really enjoyed this book, and I look forward to reading more from Sarah Handyside
Thank you to netgalley for the ebook copy of this book.
When Katie's 9 year relationship ends abruptly, the only way for her to turn is towards her three closest friends, who live nearby. Dee, Liv and Rosa pull out the cocktails, the advice, make room for Katie to stay over, and start a heartbreak handbook full of advice on getting through her breakup. Yet, all four of the women are going through breakups, so many months before or even years.
This book is more than about learning to live after a nasty breakup but more about the power of female friendships, close knit communities and finding the inner strength to make it through the difficult periods of your life.
Instructions for Heartbreak is an emotional, intelligent read, and a book where the happy ending doesn't have to come from finding a replacement partner.
I really enjoyed this book, and I look forward to reading more from Sarah Handyside
Thank you to netgalley for the ebook copy of this book.
April 11, 2025
The easiest five stars from me all year. A new favourite in my heart, easily up there with the remnants of Malibu Rising and the other books that tore my soul out. Poetic and raw and beautiful and really well worded. It’s far and few in-between I find a book that makes me want to write, let alone write poetry or make any art and this had me sweating and sobbing and smiling. There wasn’t a single moment, a single page or a single sentence that bored me or made me want to put the book down.
Not to be dramatic and entirely personal, my heartbreak is the least interesting thing about myself and we all have stories, we’re all the same humans who hurt, but it was one of the most transformative experiences of my young adult life and it was important to me and vivid and painful and beautiful and amazing and this GODDAMN F*CKING BOOK translated it all on to pages and pages of my heart and I’ve never felt so seen and held and understood by a novel.
Easiest 5-er.
Not to be dramatic and entirely personal, my heartbreak is the least interesting thing about myself and we all have stories, we’re all the same humans who hurt, but it was one of the most transformative experiences of my young adult life and it was important to me and vivid and painful and beautiful and amazing and this GODDAMN F*CKING BOOK translated it all on to pages and pages of my heart and I’ve never felt so seen and held and understood by a novel.
Easiest 5-er.
December 25, 2024
I was hoping for a heartwarming read that focused on female friendships, but I found the flow difficult to follow at times. The narrative often jumped between characters, their stories, and histories, which made it harder to stay engaged.
The friendships themselves didn’t feel deeply developed to me. What connection I did see came across as heavy-handed or repetitive, as though the key elements were being overly explained rather than naturally unfolding in the story.
I really struggled to connect with this book, unfortunately. I think it’s the writing style that didn’t resonate with me. I was initially drawn to the premise and liked the sound of the story, so perhaps I’ll revisit it in the future and see if my perspective changes.
Thank you to NetGalley and Pan MacMillan for an arc in return for my honest review.
The friendships themselves didn’t feel deeply developed to me. What connection I did see came across as heavy-handed or repetitive, as though the key elements were being overly explained rather than naturally unfolding in the story.
I really struggled to connect with this book, unfortunately. I think it’s the writing style that didn’t resonate with me. I was initially drawn to the premise and liked the sound of the story, so perhaps I’ll revisit it in the future and see if my perspective changes.
Thank you to NetGalley and Pan MacMillan for an arc in return for my honest review.
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